Twilight
by AlwaysJasper'sGirl
Summary: My own version of Twilight! First story posted.
1. Preface

Author's Note/Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight of the characters created by Stephenie Meyer. I did take some of the plot and a few quotes from the movie/book. Enjoy and please review!

Preface

I had never given it much thought--death. Some said it was just another part of life, but I guess that depends on how you die. It depends on what kind of life you live before it's time for you to go. To me, if I was going to die, dying in the place of someone I love sounds like a good way to go.

But death couldn't be the last part of life. I knew it wasn't. There was something after death. Maybe it wasn't another life or a hell. Maybe it wasn't even a heaven. Maybe it just was.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One

It was a rainy day in the small town of Forks, Washington, but most were.

It was February 9th and my first day of school at Forks High School.

My internal alarm went off in my head a half hour before the alarm on my phone--at six AM. I was wide awake, unable to catch the much wanted (and needed) half hour of sleep until my alarm went off.

Charlie, my adopted, sometimes "Dad", was already gone. His police cruiser was gone. I was glad because I could get ready for school without waiting for the bathroom. I took my time because I had an extra half hour to kill before it was time to leave for school. Showered and dressed, I dried and straightened my hair because I had the time. I usually left my curls alone. My hair finally done, I roughed it up, running my hands through it to get the desired look.

My two cars--a 2009 Acura RL and a 1989 Chevy truck--were parked outside on the curb. My hood up covering my hair, my bag over my shoulder, and my keys in hand, I ran through the mud and rain to my truck, thinking Dad would be pleased if I drove it since he had given it to me for my sixteenth birthday. As I always did, I turned on the radio or my iPod before I turned on the heat.

I turned the volume up as I slowly started to back out of my parking space. Charlie had told me the night before that I could see the school from the highway. He asked me over and over if I needed specific, turn-by-turn directions. I promised to call him at work if I couldn't find it, but it wasn't hard.

I pulled in the parking lot with my rap blasting out, shaking the windows. As I looked around, I realized rap probably wasn't as popular in Forks as it was back home. I turned it down quickly, looking for a good parking spot where my truck's side wouldn't be hit by someone's door. It wasn't my good car, but I cared about it just the same--Charlie had paid a fair sum for it considering his salary. I parked quickly, but as I reached for my bag in the passenger's seat, I was glad I didn't drive my Acura. It would have looked like a Lamborghini in Los Angeles. Even my old Chevy looked nice because of its new paint job, and it was capable of reaching speeds over seventy miles an hour thanks to the new engine.

"Nice ride, babe!" one boy yelled as I stepped out of my truck. I took a deep breath, to keep from blushing and looked around. Everyone was watching me, so I smiled a little and started towards the front office.

The receptionist was a middle aged woman with red hair. Her casual T-shirt and jeans look made me feel over-dressed. I smiled sweetly at her, noticing she was on the phone. Waiting patiently, I looked around and saw it was a common fashion statement--jeans and a T.

Feeling embarrassed in my high heel boots, I considered changing into my old, junky flats in my truck. But the receptionist hung up the phone and turned to me. "Yes, can I help you, dear?" she asked in an overly-sweet tone that told me she knew who I was already.

"I'm Timberlee Stone," I told her.

After my identity was confirmed--not that it needed to be--she grew excited. "Of course you are!" she exclaimed as she sorted through a small stack of papers. "Ah. Here we are! Here's your schedule and a map of the school. Take this and have your teachers sign it, return it at the end of the day," she instructed.

I nodded, taking the papers.

"If you have any questions, just let me know."

"Okay, thanks," I replied with a smile. I wondered if I was getting special treatment because I was the Chief of Police's daughter or possibly just because I was new. I didn't want to believe that, but it was a better story than them feeling sorry for me because I stood out so much. But that, too, seemed a possible and painfully likely story.

My first class was English in building two with Mr. Sanders. I walked into class just as the warning bell rang. Mr. Sanders was an old man, withered yet still nice. He signed my paper and told me my seat was next to a messy-haired, pale boy.

My neighbor was tense, like he was in pain, and he didn't move as I took my seat, but when it because obvious I was about to introduce myself--to be friendly--he set his jaw firmly. His stare was directly ahead, so I decided against an introduction.

"Timberlee, we were just finishing Beowulf. Today, we were going to discuss the story in pairs. You can just start on your homework."

I shook my head. "No, it's okay. I've read it before," I announced.

"Then you'll pair with the boy to your left," Mr. Sanders said, gesturing to my stiff neighbor.

I took a deep breath and turned my desk so that it was facing my partner. "Hi," I mumbled, taking the paper with instructions from Mr. Sanders. Reading over them quickly, I cleared my throat. "Um... Okay..." I sighed, meeting his eyes for a moment, but he glared at me, so I quickly looked back at the paper. "First question: what is the most appealing thing about the character Beowulf?" I read out loud.

"I actually don't find him appealing," my partner announced.

"I-I don't think they mean for you," I told him, pushing my hair out of my face. "I think it's supposed to be for people who do find him appealing."

"So what is appealing about him and the story?" he inquired as if he could tell Beowulf was one of my favorite stories.

"Well," I said, trying to arrange my thoughts and put them into a form that made sense. "Uh, I like it because Beowulf defeated the monster when no one else could. When everyone else was afraid, showing that some people can be brave, even in a time of terror. Still, it's not realistic with monsters, but I guess sometimes--most of the time--people are the real monsters, and I'm not so sure there's such a thing as a hero," I admitted, meeting his deep, black eyes. "Maybe that's why it's so appealing--because it's not real, but it gives us hope somehow. Hope we didn't have before."

The look on his face told me that he had actually listened to me. He was considering what I said. "Uh..." I began awkwardly when I couldn't stand the silence between us anymore. "D-do you want to share your opinion?"

"No, I think you've covered it all. Next question," he said through clenched teeth.

I raised my eyebrows, stunned by the beauty of his face and the bluntness of his answer. "Um... Okay," I mumbled. "Question two: Share a personal, real life example of a monster being defeated by a hero."

We were strangers. I could never tell him the ideas that came to mind, but he leaned closer to me, a small smile on his face, and his breath a sweet smell. "Let's skip that one," he suggested in a whisper.

I couldn't help my smile as I chewed on my lip. "Question three: If Beowulf was set in modern times, how do you think readers would react to it? Would they like it more or less? Explain your reason," I read, playing with my pen. "Do you care to share this time?"

He grinned at my tone. "I think they would like it more because it would be something they could understand better, something they could relate to. And it probably wouldn't be something so fictional as monsters," he replied, but his voice changed when he said the last sentence, and I wasn't sure why.

I leaned closer. I licked my lips before I started my reply. "Actually, I'm afraid I disagree. I have a different view on it," I told him, and sat back in my desk. "I think it wouldn't be so popular because people now... they know there's no such thing as a hero. There's too much bad stuff out there they they see every single day for them to believe one person could somehow save them from all of that. So I think they would cling to a story of a time when bravery and courage were real," I explained, watching his beautiful face.

"Question four," I began to prevent another awkward silence. "Do you think it's a true story, that it was originally true but changed from generation to generation, or that it was never true at all?"

I paused, waiting for my partner to answer, but he gestured for me to answer. I shrugged, trying to think of the best way to express my thoughts. "Did you know that the Inuits have over a hundred words for snow? Each a different kind. But we only have a few. So naturally, when something is translated from their language to ours, it loses some of its real meaning," I said thoughtfully. "I believe that Beowulf was true in a way, like a metaphor, and I think it's still the same story, but it lost some of its meaning when it was translated to English."

He looked surprised that I was able to express myself the way I did. Or maybe he just expected a simple answer, but most answers weren't as simple as yes or no. I met his eyes and another glare. I rolled my eyes and looked down at the paper on my desk.

"Last question: Where do you think Beowulf's bravery and strength came from?"

Before I could look up, my partner began his reply in an intense tone. "He got it from the knowledge--or maybe just the hope--that there was something other than fear and death. He got it from a belief."

"All right," Mr. Sanders called before I could reply and I realized the bell was about to ring and straightened out my desk.

On my way out of class, I glanced over my shoulder and saw my partner was following. He seemed to be angry with himself--or maybe me--but I couldn't understand why. So I just smiled and reached for my schedule.

I lived through Trigonometry, Government, French, and Computer, but barely. People in class and in the halls introduced themselves as soon as they saw me--no matter how bad their timing. There was Mike, a baby-faced, blond haired boy who obviously like me from first sight. There was Eric, an overly-helpful, Chess club type. Jessica, who liked Mike and was using me to talk to him. Plus Jessica's friends Angela and Lauren. Everyone else's names were long forgotten.

My last class before lunch was Art. The teacher was Ms. Hsu. She was an extremely friendly lady from Taiwan and complimented on how she thought my outfit was cute the minute I walked into class. I hadn't made it to class yet before she announced that she wanted my boots, which made me laugh.

I was one of the firsts to make it to the cafeteria for lunch. I bought a water and went to sit in the corner. I was prepared to sit alone. I had brought the book I was currently reading--a history of philosophy called Sophie's World. It was very informative, but my interest was in the literature, not the philosophy.

Not even five minutes had passed before both Mike and Eric hurried over with a group of boys. Angela--who liked Eric even though she was better at hiding it than Jessica--and Jessica ran over to join us soon after. I smiled, glad to have some company during lunch, and put away my book to join in the conversation.

My eyes drifted from the people at my table, and I spotted my partner from English walking in. Four people were ahead of him by several feet, but it was clear that they were all a group. They all looked so different, yet so similar. They were all as pale as my partner--whose name I still didn't know--and absolutely stunning.

I nudged Jessica's arm lightly. "Who are they?" I asked, watching the five.

"The Cullens," Angela answered when Jessica didn't, smiling at me. "The big one is Emmet Cullen and next to him is Rosalie Hale. Her twin brother is the one who looks like he's in pain, Jasper Hale. Next to him is Alice. And the last one is Edward Cullen. Gorgeous, isn't he?" Angela finished.

I only nodded.

"There all together," Jessica informed me, leaning closer as if it was a secret no one else knew. "I think it's kind of weird since they all live together, ya know?"

I frowned, and turned back to my friends. "Wait. What? I thought they were related though," I said in a soft whisper.

"No. They're all adopted by Dr. and Mrs. Cullen. Dr. Cullen works at the hospital. He's really young, like twenties or thirties. His wife can't have babies. But I still think it's weird they're all together," Jessica concluded.

I spun my head around again to look at Edward--my partner from English. Almost just like Jessica explained to me, Emmett--the huge, wait-lifting type--and Rosalie--the gorgeous blond with a super model body--had an arm around each other, as did Alice--the small, pixielike girl with spiked hair--and Jasper--the blond haired boy, tall and muscular. Edward had long, messy, yet perfect hair. Muscular, but slimmer than Jasper and definitely smaller than Emmet. A cute, boyish face, but he was somehow mature too. He sat at the same table as his siblings, but there was no girl with him.

"So how was it--pairing with Edward Cullen in English?" a boy named Ben--who was in English with me and the boy Lauren liked--said, grinning at me mischievously.

I smiled, my eyes on Edward's beautiful face and my bottom lip between my teeth. "It was really interesting actually," I admitted. "We had a good discussion, but, uh, he keeps glaring at me and I don't know why."

"Better get used to it," Jessica whispered. "He seems to hold an unknown grudge. He's glaring at you now." She grinned.

I wasn't sure if I should look over my shoulder to see or not. I chewed on my lip--a bad habit Mom hated. Finally, I turned, flinging my hair everywhere. I met another glare and glared back just as hatefully. "He's either got multiple personalities or really bad mood swings," I muttered, still watching his face. He glanced over at one of his sisters--Alice, I think--and I caught his crooked grin after Alice gave him a small look.

"We're gonna be late for Biology," Mike told me. He picked up my bag before I could. I was about to smile and thank him, but then Mike handed it to me. I rolled my my eyes discretely, but I saw Edward's attempt to hide his smile as I walked by and felt tempted to throw my empty water bottle at him--even if it wouldn't hurt--but I resisted the temptation and followed Mike to Biology in building three. I sat by the window, which I was partially happy about, partially not.

I was happy because I could day dream during the boring lectures and stare out the window. But I wasn't happy about it because I knew my stomach didn't handle things like needles, dissections, and blood. Needles made me feel claustrophobic and blood made me nauseous, but the psychology behind it was the biggest problem, and I wasn't ready to face it or talk about it. If we were doing anything with needles or blood, I would have a hard time getting to the bathroom if someone sat between me and the empty aisle between tables.

I began to think the other seat would be left empty, but just as the bell rang... I couldn't help staring, and I felt stupid--not to mention rude--by staring.

Edward Cullen. I had seen him many times throughout the course of the day, but he seemed more beautiful every time I saw him without exception. I looked away finally and started to doodle on the first page of my notebook, taking deep breaths. Edward Cullen was my lab partner!

I rested my elbow on the table, my chin in my hand, my eyes on my doodling. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw Edward smile--mockingly? I was tempted to "accidentally" shove my pen into his eye or elbow him in the stomach, but Mr. Banner called the class to order before I could finish my internal debate.

I let out a sigh, listening to the introduction of our lecture for the day. It was boring. I rested my forearms on the cold, metal table--luckily I was wearing a long-sleeve shirt--hands on top of each other, folded into loose fists. I rested my chin on my arm.

In the boredom, I glanced around the room to observe my classmates. I knew most of them from introductions in the hallways or previous classes. Most of them seemed as bored as I was with one exception--a geeky-looking boy with huge, round glasses, who sat on the front row and was furiously writing down everything Mr. Banner said.

I smiled to myself. The boy's hair was curly and combed back. It looked greasy and like he was stuck in the seventies, even though he wasn't born then. I found amusement in it and decided to observe the rest of the classroom.

Two students were passing notes--possibly a couple? Another for-sure couple was holding hands and staring deep into each other's eyes. Multiple students had their phones out under the table--texting or online. One boy had a PSP under the table, clearly obsessed and about to start yelling at the game. I grinned.

A boy and a girl sat at the next table. The boy was sound asleep, snoring loudly. The girl kept glancing over at him, rolling her eyes, and sighing loudly.

And the the only table left was mine. I was still watching the other students. Edward was staring at me, but I was convinced that I was used to it. I made it through the rest of class by carefully sketching Edward's tense, jaw-clenched face with my pen. It was even farther from perfect than it would have been if I used a pencil and eraser. He must have known I was drawing him because he stayed completely still, not even twitching from the effort to stay still. When I got to his eyes, I left one part light, then decided I liked it better black with his messy hair and pale skin, so I colored them in the rest of the way.

I smiled in satisfaction when I finished it. It had gotten me through the rest of class. Of course, the picture didn't come close to showing Edward's good-looks, but I would always be able to tell the girls at home about him. Even if I wasn't dating him or even friends with him, they would be jealous. I was sure of that.

Gym was my last class--and Edwardless--with Coach Clapp. We were playing basketball. I could play basketball and any number of other sports, but I wasn't especially good at any of them. Still, I dominated the game, being the only girl who even had a small knowledge of the game.

My team won by two points. A close game, but it was worth it to see how upset Mike was when I beat him.

School was over then. I changed back into my jeans quickly and ran out into the rain to my truck. I was about half-way across the parking lot before I was able to see through the thick rain. Edward was leaning against my truck. I broke into a jog, hoping he would think it was simply to get out of the pouring rain.

Edward looked even more beautiful--if that was possible--when he was soaking wet. His beauty was already unearthly, inhuman. And I thought that, if angels existed, they would look something like he did.

I tossed my bag into the cab of my truck before I turned to him, squinting in the heavy rain. "What's up?" I asked.

"I want to see it," he announced in a demanding way as if he expected me to refuse. Since a strait refusal seemed out of the question, I went for Plan B and gave him a confused look. With a grin as if he knew I was faking, he added, "The picture."

Plan C would have been to claim I threw it away, but I doubted I would be able to make the lie convincing, so I rolled my eyes, nodding towards the passenger's side of my truck. "Get in," I told him, stepping into my dry truck. I pulled out my notebook out of my bag as Edward stepped in next to me. I handed my notebook to him, embarrassed that I hadn't thought to draw it on printer paper at least instead of lined papers. I found myself thinking how stupid I was for being embarrassed about that and not the fact that I had drawn a picture of a near-stranger, that he knew I had, and now he was looking at it.

He sniffed, trying not to drip on my notebook. I was about to think he was angry when he burst into a beautiful laugh. It was the most exquisite sound I had ever heard. I smiled at him in my awkward embarrassment, waiting for any comments or constructive criticism. Finally, it came.

"It's good," he said, so he obviously didn't have much confidence or he would have realized that the picture held no justice. The blue lines across his face and ink smudges didn't help either. "Very good," he added, reaching for the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked hopefully.

He shrugged, handing me my notebook. "I guess we'll see, won't we?" he replied, and he was out before I could say anything else.

On the way home, for once, I didn't need any music as my obsession usually required. But not this time. The sound of Edward's voice and his laugh were the best music I had ever heard, and it was ringing in my ears over and over again.

Before I knew it, I was home and parked beside the road. Charlie's police cruiser was in the mud-swamped driveway, and his old Ford was parked in front of it, which told me he was home. My truck doors locked, my bag over my shoulder, I ran for the shelter of the front porch. The door wasn't locked, as it usually wasn't when Charlie was home, and immediately when I walked in, our three dogs ran to greet me, but they cringed away at first.

I frowned in confusion. "It's okay," I told them, and they came forward again. There was Sadah--my six week old rottweiler--Maggie--my one year old boxer--and Trooper--Dad's seven year old German shepherd. Dad had bought me Maggie for my fifteenth birthday, but he was cautious when he found out I had adopted an unwanted rottweiler puppy. Both were as well-behaved as Trooper was though. And Dad fell in love with Sadah's adorable face immediately. The only thing he didn't like was how all three dogs greeted me by almost knocking me over.

"Hey, Dad," I called over the excited barking. Shedding my coat and shoes at the door, I visited the familiar pattern. I only called Charlie "Dad" when I was in a good mood. When I wasn't, he was "Charlie", my adopted father, and that was his warning to leave me alone.

I sighed and continued onto the kitchen where Dad sat with a cup of coffee and the paper open on the square table. "Hey, honey." He seemed to be more affection with me than I remembered since I moved back in--unwillingly--with him. Or maybe he just realized I intended to leave as soon as I turned eighteen. "How was school?" Charlie asked, looking up from the paper. He was clearly surprised that I was in a good mood because he knew how much I hated Forks, the idea of living there, and even him for making me move there.

I let out another sigh, plus as a small laugh as I flopped down on the chair across from him. I pulled my legs up, tucking my knees under my chin. "Better than I thought it would be," I admitted distantly, my thoughts on Edward.

"Make any friends?"

"Yeah, um... Mike, Jessica, Eric, Angela, Aaron, Taylor, Angela, Lauren, lots. Can't remember all their names though," I mumbled, staring down at the table.

Charlie didn't reply. Looking down at the paper, I realized it was because he was reading the sports page. But I knew he knew everyone in town, so he could guess.

I decided not to mention Edward for multiple reasons:

First, I knew I would blush--and I couldn't blame it on the cold as I could in New York City or the heat as I could in LA. Dad knew it was my choice, not his, to avoid dating after the most recent breakup with my last boyfriend. And he would start a lecture on why I made the rule in the first place.

Second, I wasn't sure what Edward was. An acquaintance? A friend? An enemy? Definitely not anything more than a friend--even though my heart leaped whenever I saw him--but something. In the end of my debate, I concluded that Edward and I were just acquaintances.

And last, I still hadn't forgiven Charlie for making me move in with him. The divorce was nine years ago, but I still blamed him. Mom wanted to move to the city, but he refused. After years of arguing, she took me and my younger brother, Michael, and left. The divorce settlement was easy only because Dad didn't want to put us in the middle of a custody battle. We would spend two months of the summer with him in Forks, and that was all the visitation he got. But when I was fourteen and Michael was twelve, we both refused, and Dad gave in.

Mom lived in LA--though she had an apartment in New York too--with her new husband of four years, Ted (who I despised). Mom had adopted me too, but I loved her too much to bring myself to throw it in her face that she wasn't my biological mother as I did with Charlie. And making me move from sunny Los Angeles to Forks certainly didn't help my grudge against Charlie. But he insisted he was trying to protect me from the insane life of modeling and paparazzi Mom threw me into without a second thought, the life I loved. But he agreed to let me return to LA for the summer at least. Then I would be forced to return for my senior year of high school until I turned eighteen--I was graduating a year early, at seventeen.

I let out a slow breath. "What do you want for dinner tonight?" I asked because I knew the only thing he could make was scrambled eggs. He agreed to let me take over in the kitchen because I loved to cook and I could cook a big variety of things.

Dad looked up from his paper again. "You're the one cooking, Timberlee. Make whatever you want," he told me, but he paused. "Or we could go out for burgers if you're not up to it. You look pretty tired."

"No, thanks," I sighed, not wanting anymore names to remember for the day. Slightly annoyed, I decided I would just make hamburgers and fries--quick and Dad would like it. Plus I would have enough time for my truck load of homework after dinner and time to write in my journal about Edward and my first day of school at Forks High School--February 9th.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

It felt sort of like one of those Hollywood movies. The scene where the young girl in the story woke up from a dream about the stunning man she met days ago. A smile on her face, the sun shining through the window, no lines on her face from the pillow case or blanket, no yawning, stretching, or squinting as her eyes adjusted. Her hair perfect and her makeup done. Well, I guess I would have been the realistic version of that when I woke up from my dream of Edward the next morning.

I was angry, ready to chuck one of my many pillows at my alarm clock for waking me up from such a beautiful and peaceful, yet still a mysterious, dream. It wasn't sunny. It couldn't be, not in Forks! But it was snowing, which lightened my mood. I smiled at the thought of picking a snowball fight with Edward.

When I reached the bathroom, I knew it wasn't any romantic movie or any movie at all. Temporary lines on my face, eyes swollen, and hair matted, dirty, and sticking out in every direction. I rolled my eyes, disgusted, and slammed the bathroom door loudly.

An hour later, I walked downstairs. Charlie was in the kitchen, already dressed and ready for work. He raised an eyebrow when he saw me grab a coffee cup. "Since when do you drink coffee?" was the first thing he said. "When you were eight, you hated it."

I finished pouring a cup and then turned to him, not in the mood for small talk. "I've been drinking coffee for years, Dad, and I hated everything at eight," I mumbled, but he obviously didn't notice. Of course, he wasn't exactly around to see it. Or rather I wasn't around. He would have gladly had me over if I didn't refuse.

Dad looked awkward. "Well, I've got to get to work. Will you be okay driving to school? The ice is pretty bad today. No salt has been laid down on the roads yet either."

I nodded confidently. "I'll be fine. It's a short ride, and I know how to drive in the ice."

Dad looked like he didn't believe me. I knew he was considering whether or not to bring up the one accident I had--which occurred in similar conditions, only in New York when I was there for vacation. I gave him an angry and annoyed look. Well, maybe it was more like a furious glare. "Dad, work!" I snapped.

"Just be safe, honey," Charlie said firmly, like it was an order. He gave me an awkward, one arm-hug and kissed my still damp hair. "Have a nice day."

I nodded, staring at some invisible spot on the tile floor. Nothing more was said. I felt a bit guilty for never giving Charlie credit. Even though I knew I was adopted and I knew my biological parents names--though I never met them--he had raised me since I was six weeks old. He was a typical dad, but he was a cop too. True, people like Britney Spears made fame look miserable and like it made you lose your mind, but not me. I enjoyed the first class life that allowed me to buy designer clothes and my Acura--even though the car was actually registered under Mom's name.

When Dad first brought up his worry, I was able to convince him I was fine. When articles went as far as saying I was anorexic, then fat, he managed to convince Mom it wasn't healthy, even though I didn't mind and denied it without any grudges against the authors or paparazzi. I couldn't forgive Charlie for making me move away from all my friends, the life I loved, and everything I knew.

I closed my eyes before I hurried out to my Chevy, which Charlie had bought me for my sixteenth birthday. My iPod was already plugged in. After starting the engine, I chose rock--thinking it would be a bigger hit than rap--and maneuvered out of the mud.

Just as Charlie warned me, the roads were dangerous and icy. I made it to school without slipping or getting into a wreck though. There were snowball fights started already when I parked. I pulled on my coat while still inside the cab of my truck. Just as I predicted, the moment I stepped out, snowballs flew in my direction, but none hit me. I laughed at the boy's pathetic aim and started forming a snowball of my own.

Edward's silver Volvo--I knew it was him only because I recognized his hair--pulled in as Mike struggled to stuff a handful of snow down the back of my shirt. I was laughing, even as cold as it was. I escaped with an elbow in Mike's stomach, still laughing, and shook the snow out of my shirt. But I vowed to get him back sometime during the day.

Edward was watching me. Eric must have seen me taking longer than necessary to form a snowball because he gave me a confused look--I was officially named captain of their team--but I ignored it. I threw my perfect snowball just hard enough to hit Edward, but it didn't hurt. He glared at me as if we were life-long enemies. Furious that his mood swings remained, I looked to the crowd to find Mike. Without a second thought, I formed another snowball just before the bell and hit Mike right in the face.

I couldn't continue my payback because the bell rang, but as a sign of friendliness in the hall way, I high-fived Mike as I started towards English. I wove my way through the halls, accepting praise for hitting Mike when no one else could. And because I was a girl, the boys made all sorts of comments about how hot it was.

As soon as the second bell rang to start English, Mr. Sanders announced what we were doing today--starting Romeo and Juliet. It was one of my favorites, as was Beowulf. It was the perfect love story, where two people loved each other, even if it was forbidden, enough to give the ultimate sacrifice.

We were drawing names from a small, cardboard box to decide which students would read which characters' lines. Edward would be the perfect Romeo. I knew he had to be Romeo, and he was the only boy in the class who could appreciate Shakespeare anyway. Not to mention no one else could manage to read it fluently.

When Mr. Sanders came to Edward, I saw Romeo scribbled on the paper he pulled out.

I was next. So far, no one had yelled out that they were Juliet, and I knew they would--especially since Edward was Romeo. Before I could open the paper I drew, I heard Anthony, the boy behind me, cuss under his breath. I was Montague.

Quickly--I wasn't sure if Mr. Sanders would approve--I turned around, snatched Anthony's paper and handed him mine with a wink. It was Juliet! I was Juliet.

While everyone else who read stumbled over their lines, mispronouncing everything, Edward and I read with perfect--or near perfect for me--articulation. I had read the play many times from the copy of The Complete Works of Shakespeare that Charlie got me for my sixteenth birthday.

Edward watched me so closely as I read my lines in perfect beat so it sounded like the beautiful story it was like, like poetry. Others weren't even close, and it sounded nothing like poetry, especially not like Romeo and Juliet.

There was no time to day dream while Edward was talking in his beautiful, velvet voice. I wondered how anything could be so beautiful. Perhaps he had a speaking disorder as a child and his parents hired a speech tutor to clear up any stuttering or lisp. But that was just my best guess, and that kind of beauty wasn't natural.

Others added cheesy accents or broke into a mess of immature giggling whenever any character said "gay". Boys like Anthony added their own commentary between lines about how stupid the characters sounded or how they must really be gay, or rather homosexual since gay actually meant something else when Romeo and Juliet was written.

I rolled my eyes at the giggles and relieved sighs when the bell rang. It wasn't bad at all. At least, not in my opinion. It was a classic, but they obviously couldn't appreciate it.

By Art, my depression had come back. This wasn't Romeo and Juliet or a fairytale. I didn't have a prince or a Knight in Shining Armor. Ms. Hsu noticed my foul mood, even though I put on a fake smile for class. My anger towards Edward--though I wasn't sure why I was angry just then--was too strong to make my smile convince everyone. I didn't understand his rude behavior in the parking lot. Of course, throwing a snowball at him could be considered rude. I didn't know how he could be so rude sometimes, yet so much like a friend other times. I wasn't sure if it was me or him with the problem--maybe both of us.

On the way to the cafeteria for lunch, Mike's cheery mood uplifted mine a little. I could easily see he was flirting with me. At Edward's glare, I decided to flirt back--but I didn't mean it--because, for once, the glare wasn't at me. It was at Mike.

I walked with Mike to Biology, listening to a great tale of a snowball fight the previous year. Edward was already at our table when I arrived. I gave him a smug look and started towards my seat. I passed in front of the vent. Edward covered his mouth quickly. "I think I'm sick," he told Mr. Banner as he ran out of class, barely missing my shoulder as he passed.

I raised my eyebrows in shock. No one else seemed to think I smelled bad. In fact, Mike had spent a little too much time with his nose in my hair. I thought I smelled good. But I guess Edward disagreed. Embarrassed by the display in front of the whole class, I slowly took my seat.

I wasn't usually one to cry, but I wasn't sure if I could stop the tears of embarrassment and anger as class started. We were doing a lab, which I had already done. I finished quickly, but pretended to be struggling in case Mr. Banner was the sort of teacher who made you help another team.

We were dismissed when we finished with a lab report. I saw Edward waiting by my locker--completely fine--and ducked into the girl's bathroom before he could say anything. I knew he was about to though. I didn't want to hear his stupid excuses. I didn't want to hear him talk. There was no reason for his behavior!

I waited as long as I could before I ran to make it to Gym just before the bell. We were playing basketball again. All of my teammates were depending on me to win the game, but I didn't feel up to it. The well-known feeling of depression and the exhaustion resulting made me want to play sick, go home early. But I knew Charlie would consider skipping Gym a "felony" so to speak and would give me the "twenty to life" sentence. Faking an injury was my next idea or purposefully twisting an ankle.

Out of all the ideas I came up with, I knew all too well that Charlie wouldn't believe any of them. So I decided endurance was the best idea after the others, but I didn't have to like it.

This time, my team lost by a single point in the last thirty seconds. I changed out of my sweats and walked outside, surrounded by friends. Seeing Edward leaning against my truck, I felt anger replace my depression, even though it was obvious Edward was beating himself up. When Mike ran over, I smiled. "Hey, this weekend, you wanna get all our friends together and go see a movie in Port Angeles? Or we could go shopping. Maybe both, whatever sounds best."

"That's such a good idea!" Jessica exclaimed as we started towards my truck now that Edward had left. "What time?"

"How about two? That okay?"

"Awesome! That's perfect. I'll tell everybody tomorrow. Should we meet at your house?"

I nodded. "Yeah," I answered with a smile. "Well, I guess I'll see you all tomorrow. I've gotta get home and make dinner and all." I stepped into my truck. Part of me wanted to invite Edward and his siblings, but his most recent offense was too great for me to forget just yet.

I turned up my music to block out my thoughts of Edward Cullen, but I found it was impossible. There was something different about him. There was something different about his behavior. I hated him for offending me the way I had, but he tried to explain, hadn't he? It was ME who refused to let him explain or apologize or whatever he was about to do when I ducked into the girl's bathroom so quickly and again when he was waiting by my truck.

Tapping the steering wheel to the beat of the song playing, I waited impatiently for the line waiting to leave the parking lot to speed up. I closed my eyes in frustration, chewing on my lip. How could Edward going from being Romeo to a jerk so fast? He sat next to me in English too, but there hadn't been any problems there.

I tried to think of any other possible explanation for why Edward had acted that way in Biology. Maybe the smell of my hair brought back bad memories or maybe it was just too strong for his taste. There was no good explanation though for why he ran out of class. At least none that I could dream up.

I gave Mike a half-smile when he hit my window with a snowball, trying to get me to join in the fight, but I wasn't in the mood to have another war. Mike had clearly read too much into my playfulness-though most would. He took it as flirting, and it wasn't. He held none of the qualities I wanted in a boyfriend. He wasn't my type, not even close.

I didn't have any specific type though, other than friendly--someone I could introduce to my friends without any problems--funny--to pick me up when I'm down--and sweet. Looks hardly mattered, especially not after I'd set eyes on Edward.

Mike was obviously friendly, but I wasn't so sure about his ability to sweep me off my feet and take me away on a beautiful, white horse. None of my ex-boyfriends had, one reason I'd given up dating. I was sixteen and it was time to get serious about guys, looking for the one I would marry, not just a two month crush that ended in tears.

Finally, I was out of the parking lot. I wished the ride home was much longer so I could think more. I knew Charlie would want to know about my day, and I would have to make dinner, do the dishes, and then my homework.

My usual parking space was taken. I didn't recognize the car, but that was no surprise. I parked behind it so they still had room to back out. The snow had started again, and it was even more cold than it was when I left school. I ran to the porch and burst through the front door, not caring about any visitors.

"That you, Timberlee?" Dad called from the living room, eyes on the TV, beer in hand.

"Who else would it be?" I mumbled on my way upstairs.

"Oh, we're having some company for dinner. Just two."

I nodded as if he could see through the wall and continued upstairs to the master bedroom, which was mine. I tossed my shoes, coat, and backpack aside, not caring about the noise. Company for dinner! So I couldn't be rude and tell Charlie to order pizza. I stuffed my earphones in and walked back downstairs. We didn't have much that I could make with the limited ingredients in the house. I was limited to spaghetti and lasagna with salad and garlic bread on the side.

I opened another beer for Charlie and one for the older guest since I noticed he had one too, and took it to them, knowing he would eventually ask if I didn't. I saw two guests , an older man in a wheelchair and a boy near my age, maybe a year or two younger. Both wore their hair long. I smiled to be polite.

Billy Black, Charlie's best friend, and Jacob, Billy's son. I recognized them from my past visits, though they had both changed a lot. "Dad do you want spaghetti or lasagna for dinner?" I asked, trying to hide my bad mood as I distributed the beers.

"Whichever is quickest. Jake's stomach's been growling since he got here," Dad answered, grinning at Billy.

"Care for some company?" Jacob asked me.

I shrugged with a friendly smile. "If you want to" was my answer as I returned to the kitchen. Jacob followed me and I was glad. His presence was soothing--it seemed like he was always in a good mood--and any company would lighten my mood as long as Edward was not the topic.

I heard Jacob's stomach growl and glanced over my shoulder at him. "You want me to get you something? There's some left over hamburgers. I could warm--"

"No, don't. I didn't come here to get food. I wanted to get away from the parents," Jacob replied in a tone that reminded me of Michael.

I laughed because I knew how he felt. I put the pot of water on the stove to boil and started cutting up lettuce for the salad.

"Can I do anything to help?"

"No, I'm okay. So, uh, why don't you go to school with me? Unless you flunked or something, you're in high school." I was only comfortable suggesting that he flunked because I knew he had been smart as far as I could remember.

Jacob grinned. "I go to school on the reservation," he told me, leaning against the counter with his arms folded.

"Oh yeah! I think I remember Charlie mentioning something like that. I wasn't really paying attention."

"So what--was he talking a lot?"

"No, he never talks a lot. I guess I was just expecting him to be totally quiet and zoned out after five minutes and couldn't get back into listening mode. Didn't really hear what he said."

"Ah."

I nodded, throwing the lettuce into the salad bowl and then I paused, glancing at Jacob again. "Hey, Saturday, me and some friends from school were gonna go hang out in Port Angeles for a while. We were gonna meet here at two. You're welcome to come. I'm sure Charlie and Billy are gonna be watching the game. I guess it'll be a chance to get away from the parents."

Jacob looked surprised that I invited him, but he was still pleased. "Sure!" he exclaimed happily.

I smiled, pleased to have one more in the group.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Hey, Dad, tomorrow afternoon, me and some friends from school and Jacob were gonna meet here and drive up to Port Angeles to shop for a while and see a movie. Is that okay?" I asked Friday morning as I passed him on my way to the kitchen.

"Who's driving?" was the first thing he asked. Being Chief of Police in a small town, he knew who the bad drivers were and my guess was that at least five of them were my friends. Charlie didn't trust teenage drivers, including me.

"Lots of us. I'm probably gonna drive my Acura since my truck only fits two, but there's gonna be a few people in each car."

"Why are you driving?"

"Because I knew you would argue if I said I was riding with any of my friends," I answered smugly. "And I'm gonna go to the book store when I'm done shopping, then we're gonna meet some place for dinner after the movie. I'll be home by eleven, okay?"

Charlie didn't answer. He grunted and left the house--he did have to go to work. I closed the door behind him, annoyed that he seemed incapable of giving me a straight answer--a yes or a no. I considered leaving right away and decided to go ahead. There was a new layer of snow from last night, and I was ready anyway.

The roads were worse than I expected, but I made it to school safely. Edward and his family had been absent the past two days, but I saw Edward's Volvo parked next to the space I always took. Coincidence? It couldn't be when there were fifty closer spots I would have taken immediately if I wasn't afraid someone would ruin the new paint job on my truck.

Speeding up, I skillfully maneuvered my truck into the space, nearly hitting Edward in the process. But he only grinned at me. There was no flinch even! I opened my truck door and saw his cringe. "What--you have a problem with rap?" I asked, turning down the radio.

"Yeah, a little bit actually," he told me awkwardly.

"Oh. Sorry." I turned it off quickly, not wanting to offend anyone else. "What's wrong with rap?" I inquired, stepping out of my truck.

He looked embarrassed and shrugged. "I just have more respect for women than that," he replied, looking away, and then he smiled a little.

I was shocked. That wasn't the answer I had expected from him, not even close. "Oh," I mumbled, running a hand through my hair. "It's actually not all like that, ya know? Some of it isn't so bad. What kind of music do you like then?"

Edward frowned thoughtfully. "Can we talk?" he whispered. "I mean really _talk._"

"Sure," I answered, and jumped up onto the bed railing of my truck, using my arms to push my weight up the rest of the way. "What do you want to talk about then?" I asked, watching his face.

Edward struggled to find the right words. I waited patiently. Finally, he just smiled at me. "I-it's not you," he announced. "You're not the problem, and I'm very sorry if I offended you Tuesday or any other time. I..." He looked like he was in pain for a moment. "I'm sorry. I don't know how to explain this, but it's not you."

I frowned in confusion. "Then whose fault is it? Yours?" I inquired.

"If it's anyone's fault, yes, it's mine. But it's definitely not yours."

"So what was it? My perfume--was it too strong or...? What was it?"

"No, no! It was me. I'm the problem." He sighed, leaning against his car. "You know when a smell is so good that it's... That it gives you a headache?"

"Okay..." I tried to think of a better metaphor, one that made more sense than his did. Finally, I grinned. "So it's like you're on a diet, but there's a double chocolate cake in the oven. Chocolate chips inside. You're tempted to have some--even though you know you won't be able to stop if you eat one piece--and it's almost too good to resist. Is that it?" I laughed because I had been joking, but Edward nodded, which stopped my laugh.

"Exactly!" he exclaimed. "That's exactly what it's like." He jumped up to sit next to me, more graceful than I thought possible. "It's not you. _It's me,_" he repeated urgently. "I just think it's better if we're not friends."

"Why's that?" I pressed, leaning closer with my jaw touching my shoulder as I studied his face.

He laughed--frustration? And then he looked away, but my eyes were glued on his beautiful face. He was struggling, like he didn't know where to begin or how to answer me. His eyes met mine firmly. Was the firmness directed towards himself or me or both of us? "We just shouldn't be friends," he insisted.

I laughed. "If that's the best reason you have, I'm afraid you'll have to deal with me until you can give me a _good _reason," I told him.

"What would qualify as a good reason?" he demanded.

"A horror story," I joked. He looked confused though--cautious even--despite my joking tone. "Monsters, aliens, murderers, that kind of stuff, and you would have to convince me that it's true of course." I paused when he was silent and then continued, watching his face closely. "You wouldn't still be in classes with me if it was as bad as you make it sound, whatever your reason is. Let me decide who my friends are."

"No. Not if you're going to choose me."

I jumped to the ground. "I've seen you alone since Monday at lunch. You're never with anyone but your family. I know you love your family, and excuse me, but I don't think you like that life."

Edward's face turned angry. His jaw clenched as if he was struggling again. "Stay away from me!" he ordered fiercely, and walked away.

I grabbed my bag out of the cab of my truck and hurried to get through the crowd to English. So far, I had thought of multiple reasons for Edward's behavior, but I truly believed that I saw part of _Edward _in the parking lot. I saw past the glares and the strange mood swings. But what had I seen? What was there? I didn't know.

I decided to keep my eyes (and thoughts) off Edward as much as possible in English. I still listened intently to his beautiful voice as he read though. Somehow, it was missing enthusiasm, like he was dead, like he was beating himself up again. I spent most of the class just staring into space between my lines as Juliet.

When the bell rang, Edward lingered in his disk as everyone else packed up to leave and go to their next class. "You okay?" I asked.

Edward laughed without humor. "You know, we haven't even been introduced and we're already debating whether or not we should be friends," he said, but I could tell there was more on his mind.

I grinned because it was true. "I guess that's proof we live in a small town, huh?" I said, sitting down on my desk. "Well, a formal introduction would be: My name is Timberlee Stone, and I wouldn't bother pronouncing my first name clearly because you would probably refer to me as Ms. Stone anyway, so first names wouldn't matter. But an introduction of soon to be friends would be more like: Hey! My name's Timberlee, and there wouldn't be any handshake."

Edward scoffed in frustration. "Why do you keep trying?"

"Because you said '_we shouldn't be friends'_, not that you didn't want to be," I pointed out simply. "Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't want to be friends, and I won't bother you again."

Edward paused like he was going to answer, but he jumped to his feet and announced that he had to go to class. "Me too," I muttered as he left, and I saw his lips twist into a smile, which he tried to hide.

Despite the trouble (if you could call it that) with Edward, I was having a good day. Snowball fights were common and I joined in as many as I could. I was the first one to grab plates of hardened snow, but not quite ice and break them over someone's head. My favorite victim was Mike. On the way to lunch, I stuffed a handful of snow down his shirt, which he had tucked in, so it took him much longer for him to get it out than it had for me.

Inside the cafeteria, I saw Edward watching me. He laughed multiple times at my tactics. I was the only girl with fifteen guys out in the snow, but they held no power over me. Hiding behind cars while I only ducked or turned so the snowball wouldn't hit me in the face.

My face was pink with the cold when I finally walked inside. I shook the snow out of my hair and followed Mike to the table where Jessica and the other girls sat. I smiled at them as a greeting, leaning back against the closest table.

"Timberlee, Edward Cullen did not stop watching you the entire time," Jessica whispered. "I think he likes you."

I glanced over at Edward, who had obviously overheard. I shook my head. "No, he doesn't. Besides, I'm not good enough for him," I replied.

"We still on for tomorrow?" Mike said, obviously trying to change the subject, jealous that everyone else recognized Edward's behavior and not his.

I turned my attention away from Edward and back to them. "Yeah. Two? Is that what we said?"

"I told everyone one..." Mike mumbled.

"Oh, well, that's cool. We can order pizza and eat before we leave," I suggested. "Two is when we'll leave. It'll give everyone time to get there, ya know?"

Our conversation continued until the bell. I passed Edward with my friends, feeling guilty for not acknowledging him at the time, but if he wanted to pretend he didn't want to be friends, fine. We wouldn't be. But I felt like one of those girls at home who constantly walked past the outcasts as if they didn't exist at all.

Edward somehow beat me to our table. I took a deep breath and my seat next to him. His eyes followed me, and I knew he was about to speak. I hoped he wouldn't mention my plans for the next day, but luckily he didn't seem the type to invite himself anywhere.

"It's not that I'm too good for you," he announced, turning in his seat so he was facing me. "You're too good for me."

I came close to laughing. I was never exactly a beauty queen or a super model--even though I had been in many runway shows--but Mom said I was a "humble beauty", and I trusted her. But Edward was... He was a movie star, a model, an angle, and so many other things all in one, all at the same time. How could I be too good for him?

"No, no, it's true," he cut me off before I could laugh. "There's more than one kind of beauty. And I'm not sure I'm even talking about beauty here. You're too good for me no matter how you look at it," he insisted, staring at me in a way that demanded that I believe him, but I couldn't.

I shook my head. "You're crazy if you think that's true," I told him, turning back to the front of the class. Then I frowned, meeting his eyes again. "Did you get contacts?"

"No," he answered easily. "Why?"

"Before, your eyes were black. Now they're like a golden brown," I observed quietly.

He was saved from trying to reply because Mr. Banner called the class to order. I watched Edward for a few minutes before turning my attention to the lecture. But I saw his grin and hit his arm playfully with mine, an innocent look on my face. It was harder than I expected, and I realized I would have a bruise from something that I would long forget by the time it showed up.

We got along so well when we weren't discussing whether or not we should be friends. I left the class hoping we were friends. I got out of Gym and ran through the snow to my truck, trying to avoid any snowball fights. I saw Edward across the campus, talking to Alice. I flashed only a small smile because my hands were starting to go numb from the cold wind.

I heard the sound of breaks slamming on and spun around to see what happened. Arms up to my chest, I froze. It all happened so fast. _What had happened? _It took a minute before I could breathe again. And then it started to come back slowly, like it was a hundred year old memory.

I had been unlocking my door. Edward was a hundred feet away at least. There was a car coming towards me, but it wasn't a dream and I was _alive, _not in any pain.

I gasped. Edward had me in his arms protectively. Ben's huge Chevy van was inches away from me, a huge dent in the side. It should have hit me, but it didn't.

"You okay?" Edward whispered.

I nodded, trying to find my breath again. "I... My head hurts," I said because it suddenly did. "I must have hit it or something when I fell."

"I'm calling 911," a senior girl announced.

I looked to my black truck. There wasn't a scratch on it. Ben's car was totaled after hitting three other cars. Ben was okay other than a few cuts though, and no one else was hurt.

"What happened?" I asked Edward, kneeling because I felt light-headed.

"He slipped on some--that's not important!" he snapped, glaring furiously at me. "Where the hell is the ambulance?" he yelled. "I could walk there faster."

Through all the commotion, I realized it was a hand. Edward's _hand _had stopped Ben's car from crushing me. "I need some water," I told Edward, reaching up for his hand.

"Don't move your head. You could have hurt your neck, and I'm sure you have a concussion. You hit your head pretty hard when you fell. You'll get water once I know you're really okay and not just numb."

I put my face in my hands, hearing the sirens coming. I had no memory of what had happened, but I had to have hit my head as hard as Edward said. The dizziness was overwhelming. I closed my eyes, hand over my heart. "I need some water," I repeated when the medics arrived with a stretcher.

Edward was being difficult though and insisted I would have to wait, even though there was four medics right there. A hit on the head in a small town and they took you away on a stretcher to the hospital. Edward promised he would be right behind me though.

Once we got to the hospital, I realized almost the entire staff was out to help. One nurse announced Dad was already on his way. To my surprise, Dr. Carlisle Cullen took my case--even though he was a surgeon and my case was so small. I was amazed at how big a fuss they made. Dr. Cullen told me nearly the entire school was in the waiting room, and my annoyed expression must have been obvious.

"How do you feel?" Dr. Cullen asked me.

"Just like I hit my head. Like I'll have a knot."

"Are you still feeling dizzy?" he asked in a voice that somehow reminded me of Edward's, as different as they were.

I shook my head as Charlie burst in. He glared at Ben furiously before he turned to me and Dr. Cullen. "How is she?"

"She's fine," Dr. Cullen answered. "She's very lucky. Her vitals look good."

"Your license is gone," Dad snapped at Ben.

"Dad!" I exclaimed, pushing away the nurse who was trying to take my blood pressure. "It wasn't his fault! He tried to stop. There was ice and he slid."

"You could have been killed."

"I'm not hurt. And it's not his fault! I slipped on the ice when I turned--"

"Stop moving around and let them make sure you're all right!" Dad snapped as if I was a fidgety child when I pushed the arm cuff away for the third time. It was the loudest I'd ever heard his voice, but it was his glare that made me sit still and my blood pressure was fine. Once Dr. Cullen was finished, Charlie turned his attention to Ben in a threatening manner.

I tugged on Charlie's arm to get his attention. "Dad, I need a ride to school so I can get my truck," I announced.

Dad nodded, still glaring at Ben. He obviously wasn't paying attention because I expected him to argue about whether or not I should drive yet. "I'm gonna talk to the doctor. I'll meet you in the waiting room in about ten minutes, okay?"

I gave him a look that said "be nice" and continued onto find Edward. His car was in the parking lot, so I knew he remained, and quickly found him. "Can we talk privately?" I asked him.

Edward didn't rely. He only followed me to an empty hallway. "What'd the doctor say?"

"That I'm fine, like I said," I answered, letting the annoyance show through my voice. "Not even a concussion. Uh... How-how did..." I stopped and sighed. "How's your hand?" I asked finally. "Are you sure you don't want to get it x-rayed?"

Edward laughed. "My hand is fine. Thank you."

Another sigh. "How did you save me? You were across campus, a hundred feet away. And you made it over to save me. You pushed Ben's car away with-with..." I paused as a nurse walked by. "You stopped it with your hand. How?"

"Adrenaline," Edward explained.

It was my turn to laugh. "You're lying. I..." The look on his face told me adrenaline was the only explanation he was going to give, and my ten minutes were up. I smiled up at Edward. "Thank you," I said when Charlie came around the corner to look for me.

Edward grinned and I felt his eyes on me as I walked way with Charlie. On the way back to school, I thought, or tried to think, of any explanation. Maybe Edward's frame across campus was just my imagination, but the hand-shaped dent in Ben's car was no hallucination. It was deeper than I remembered, perfectly shaped. Long fingers, a perfect hand shape--_Edward's hand._ But how could anyone push away a car with their bare hand? How was it that my truck escaped without any damage at all and I escaped with my life somehow? It didn't make sense.

"Honey, you okay?" Charlie asked as I stared at the hand print in the metal.

I nodded. "Yeah, just, uh, just glad nobody was seriously hurt," I replied, opening my truck door. I shot one last glance at Ben's van and started my engine, and I drove away with Charlie behind me.

"Hey, Timberlee," Dad called when we arrived at home. "I've gotta go back to work. Call me if you need to, if you need anything at all, and take it easy. I'll be home around eight or nine most likely."

"Okay, bye," I mumbled, glad he would be gone.

Mom had left four messages for me, worried sick that I was hurt or dead. I sent her an email to tell her I was okay, not badly hurt, and I explained that I had a ton of homework to do. I did have quite a bit of homework, but I had other things on my mind. Like the van coming straight at me. The hand print in the side. The way Edward held me, looked at me, spoke to me after he saved me from certain death. Adrenaline rush or more, he saved me and he had some reason that he didn't let go of me after. He had something in his eyes when he saved me. That was the one thing I remembered clearly. I couldn't remember slipping or Edward running over or even him pushing away the van, but I knew all of these things happened. The one thing I did remember was his eyes. They were on fire. They were intense. Why?

I couldn't make sense of the day's happenings. I did my homework at the kitchen table while I started dinner, but none of it was done to the best of my ability because Edward was on my mind. _His eyes. _Topaz, black, or whatever they were when he saved me, I could see something in them that I hadn't seen before. Why did I miss it before? Or had it even been there? I didn't know and that bothered me.

I was in bed, trying to sleep when I heard Charlie's cruiser pull in the driveway. I went downstairs in my boxers and an over-sized T shirt to heat up his dinner. "Hey, honey," Dad said when he walked in. "How's your head?"

"Fine," I lied. It was killing me! But I knew it had more to do with all my attempts to figure Edward out. The knot on the back of my head didn't hurt at all. "How was work?" I asked because I knew he didn't believe me.

"Long day," Charlie mumbled tiredly, sitting down. I was sure my accident didn't help the long day much.

"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. You want a beer?" Charlie's grunt was enough and I handed him one with a sigh. Leaning against the counter, I decided that Charlie could get his own plate out of the microwave. "I'm going to bed. Take it out when it beeps and give it a minute to cool off," I instructed, sounding so much like Mom I cringed. "Night."

"Good night, honey. Sleep well."

I didn't reply because, once again, my thoughts were on Edward and the events of that day. The image in my mind was there forever--the image of Edward's arms around me when I was defenseless, the image of where his hand had dented the van, the things I couldn't understand or explain.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

I dreamed of my near-death experience when I finally fell asleep. It was somehow all in slow motion, except for myself and Edward. I was turning to see what had happened, to see who had slammed on their breaks. I slipped on a fresh patch of ice, fell, and hit my head on the side of my truck, then on the hard ground. I saw the car coming, but I couldn't move. It was like I was already dead.

Ben's van was coming right at me, spinning out of control. Edward was across campus. Somehow, he made it to me before the van did. He pulled me up off the ground. His back was to the van, but then he was facing it, one hand held out. The van was pushed away, but Edward always had one arm around me, holding me.

But then the dream changed. It was like a replay of the incident--only faster and Edward hadn't made it to me in time. I was dead instantly. I could never have survived it. Time passed, a time of nothing--because I was dead. Edward's face wasn't a glare when it appeared next. He was _crying._ He was _at my grave._

I woke, panting and sweaty. I couldn't understand the dream or why I found it so terrifying. It was only a dream, but there was something so real about it. I sat up, my shoulders sagging. It was already almost noon. I could hear Dad downstairs--probably trying to make lunch.

With a groan, I walked downstairs to make sure he wouldn't start a fire. "Morning, honey!" Dad greeted, sounding too cheerful. "How's your--"

"Dad, how many times are you gonna ask me that?" I asked, not even trying to hide my annoyance. "I'm fine. You heard the doctor say that. So _please_ stop freaking out."

"Dr. Cullen told me to bring you in if you were dizzy or had a bad headache."

"Okay, I'll tell you if that happens. Until then, stop."

Charlie raised his hands in surrender. "All right. Fine."

"Is it okay about today or not?"

Dad glanced at me. I knew exactly what he was thinking. The ice, five or more teenage drivers on the road at the same time, all with the same destination. "Timberlee, I don't like the idea of you--"

"You said you wanted me to make friends and be happy here. I really, _really_ want to have the same friends on Monday, okay? Please, can you just be cool about it when they get here and not... Well, not be a cop for a while? I would really appreciate it."

"How does me being a cop have anything to do with your social life and friends on Monday?"

I raised my eyebrows. Obviously, he didn't remember high school much. That or he was just an outcast--we never really talked about his childhood. I only knew what Mom told me. "You'll scare them off if you act like a cop."

"They all know who I am, honey--"

"Please? Just say hi, have fun, bye. No... cop stuff."

Dad sighed, rolling his eyes. "All right. I won't do any 'cop stuff'," he said as if he was trying to figure out what I meant. "Just promise me now you'll be safe on the road and you won't get into any trouble."

I nodded. "Okay, I promise," I mumbled, and headed back up to my room to get ready. By the time I was ready, Jacob had already arrived with Billy, who wanted to watch the game with Charlie. I smiled at Jake and I swore he must have grown several inches in a few days alone. His smile made me want to hug him and his blush was little-kid-cute.

"Jake hasn't shut up all week," Billy told me.

I saw Jacob's blush deepen. "Yeah, well, we've got an awesome day planned," I replied casually.

"Don't think that's what he was excited about."

"Oh, you're probably right. It must have been the chance to get away from you for a while," I said playfully, winking at Jacob. "You wanna come upstairs with me? I gotta look through coupons for the pizza before I order."

"Sure!"

I led the way up to my room, which was a total wreck. Clothes everywhere, bags, books, boxes, and the rest of my belongings were all on the floor. Embarrassed, I threw the clothes from my bed into the closet. "Uh... Not really settled in yet, ya know?" I said. "Sit down if you want."

Legs crossed, I picked up the stack of coupons I had left on my bed. Most of them were already expired--Charlie was incapable of going through them and throwing away the expired ones. I ad to explain what each pile was for to Jacob. Expired, maybe, no way, and coupons for something other than pizza.

"So when do you plan to unpack?" Jacob asked, eying my stack of rolled up posters.

"Tomorrow maybe. I don't really have any plans for the rest of the weekend yet, but I guess that could change."

"You want me to come over and help? I can help you unpack and we'd finish lots faster that way, especially with all your stuff."

"Sure, if you don't mind. I'd really appreciate it. It would be nice to be able to walk through without tripping over anything. So, uh, what have you been up to these past years? I remember making mud pies at age four, but that's about it," I said, my eyes on the coupons.

Jake shrugged. "Nothing special. Just taking care of my dad."

"Hobbies?" I inquired.

"Cars. I like building 'em. But I never built something like that baby outside. What year is it? 2007? 2008?"

My Acura RL. I shook my head. "2009," I corrected, embarrassed again how much every day city things set me apart in a small town. My deep burgendy Acura was a present to myself celebrating my new modeling career, as shallow as that sounded. But Mom thought it was a god idea, even if Charlie was offended, thinking there was something wrong with the truck he bought me.

"Bet it gets great mileage!, huh? How fast have you gone?"

"Fastest was about ninety. Then I freaked out, thinking I would total it," I admitted with a little laugh."So you build cars? Like engines or from scratch or what?"

"Both, depends on the car. I'm building a car for myself."

"That's awesome! Is it just a pass-time? Or do you want to make a career out of it?"

"Do you always ask so many questions?"

"Uh, yeah, sorry. But to answer your question, you can ask as many questions as you want to torture me back."

"I never said it was torture," Jacob pointed out.

I smiled at him and recognized the unmistakable sound of Tyler's car. I leaned closer to Jake, glad that I had just brushed my teeth. "Hope none of your cars sound like that," I whispered.

"Timberlee, the door!" Dad yelled from downstairs.

I laughed with Jacob and ran down to answer the door. Tyler, Mike, Eric, and Anthony were all there. I smiled, took votes on what kind of pizza to get and ran to order. Luckily, the game was on and everyone was satisfied watching it in my absence. From the kitchen, I saw Dad glaring at all the boys though, who were--thankfully--unaware. I caught his attention and gave him a pleading look to tell him to stop. Then he turned his attention back to the TV.

By the time the pizza arrived, almost everyone was there. The girls were up in my room in the kitchen while the guys--including Jacob--watched the game. I arranged car pooling with Jessica so that if two drivers left early, everyone would still have a ride home. Jessica, Angela, a girl named Sara, and Jacob would ride with me in my Acura since it seated five instead of two like my truck.

As I pulled on my coat to leave, Dad stopped me at the door. "Here," he said, offering me twenty dollars.

I frowned. Dad's income was closet to nothing. Mom and Ted made more. Even in my short lived modeling career, I made much more. Most of which was still in the bank. "Dad..." I started.

Charlie shoved it into my hand. "Just take it. Use it for gas if that's all you'll spend it on."

I could tell he wasn't going to give up the argument, so I slipped it into my back pocket. "Thanks," I mumbled. Dad wanted to do more for me. He wanted me to love Forks as much as he did. The two years I refused to see him were miserable for him, I knew. But he had me for two years now. He didn't have to freak out and go overboard.

"Be safe," Charlie instructed.

"Yeah, I will."

Dad nodded, looking past me to the guys as they started to pile into the cars. I began to leave, but Dad stopped me again. "And have fun," he said quietly.

I smiled, handing Jacob the keys to start my car. "I will," I promised, sensing that Dad was stalling. "I promise: No 911 calls concerning me and you won't have to bail me out of jail either. Have fun watching the game."

Dad heard the sarcasm in my voice and rolled his eyes. As I pulled out of my parking spot behind Mike's car, I saw Charlie watching from the front window. The look most would think was disapproval I knew to be worry, but I decided to ignore it. I glanced at Jake, who sat next to me. "Everybody knows each other, right?" I asked.

"Yeah," Jessica answered.

"I have to make sure. So do you guys want music or anything?"

They girls picked Britney Spears. Though I had learned to like some of her new music, I couldn't stand her old music, which they chose. Jake and I exchanged an annoyed smile, but endured it without complaint. The girls in the back didn't even notice our conversation about the forty-third Super Bowl between the Steelers and the Chargers. But I noticed that Sara was singing off key and through her nose just behind me.

"So when you're building a car, do you concentrate more on the look or the speed?" I asked when we finished our conversation about this years' Super Bowl.

"I get most of my parts from junk yards, so it's not always the nicest when it comes to looks. But I try to make sure the engine's a good one. You know your dad's old truck? I completely rebuilt the engine."

"Oh my gosh! Are you serious? I wondered how Dad managed to keep it running. What kind of car are you making for yourself?" I asked, really hoping it wouldn't sound like I was trying to brag or show off.

"It's a Volkswagen," Jacob answered with a shrug. "Any hobbies on your side of this conversation?"

I smiled at his tone of voice. "I like to read."

"So I guessed from the gazillion books on your floor," Jacob muttered, looking out the window.

The drive to Port Angeles was an hour long. Jacob and I had fun talking about whatever subject came up, but the girls in the back became bored quickly. They weren't interested in stories about Super Bowl parties and the cars Jacob had fixed. Whenever the subject changed to something about my life in LA--especially shopping--their interest grew as if they wanted to know what clothes were available for them to borrow. Only I was thinner than all three of them, and we varied in height too.

Reaching Port Angeles, we all parked outside the first store we planned to go in. The guys followed us around, sulking about how long we took. I grabbed as much as I could carry and try everything on. My sense of style was unique. I liked it that way, but the girls got almost everything I did to try on, but none of them could pull it off without looking strange in my eyes.

I picked out the clothes I wanted to buy when I finished trying everything on and volunteered to go with the guys to look at clothes for them. Happy to be red of the girl's shallow talk about fashion (and my thoughts of yesterday), I linked arms with Mike and Jake. "So what do you like?" I asked Jake, seeing his lost expression when we reached the men's section. "Are you a t-shirt kinda guy or maybe a polo? A button up?"

"T-shirt," Jacob answered.

"Okay. What size pants do you wear?" I asked because it wasn't hard to guess his shirt size.

He answered and I went to find a few outfits for him to try on that I liked. Soon, dressing up Jacob turned into dressing up all the guys. The girls arrived a few at a time to watch the fashion show. I sat with Jacob most of the time unless he was in the dressing room.

"Look. There's Edward Cullen!" Jessica told me, pointing rudely. I wanted to react like a three year old's mother in the store--snatch her hand away before anyone else saw it. "He must be stalking you," she continued. "Or maybe he just really likes you. He did freak out when you got hurt yesterday. It was kind of hot, don't you think? So protective."

"He does not like me," I replied, feeling Jake stiffen next to me. I watched Edward closely though. He turned to me and smiled. I waved. "Jake, you wanna come look at shoes with me?" I asked when Jessica nudging my arm became unbearable.

"Sure." I heard the anger in Jacob's voice and frowned in confusion. He was glaring at Edward. I pulled on his arm. Shoes were my favorite thing to shop for, and I wanted to get away from Jessica, who was convinced that Edward liked me. It was none of her business first of all. And second, she didn't need to announce her opinion in front of everyone.

I sat down to try on the first shoes I found that I liked. "So do you have something against Edward Cullen?"

Jacob shrugged. "It's just an old legend, and I'm not supposed to talk about it anyway," he explained, watching me. But with a small smile, he continued. "The Quilettes are supposed to be descendants of wolves. My great-grandfather fought these people, the Pale Faces. We were only protecting people, the people around, our land, and so on. The Cold Ones came around, but they claimed they weren't like the others of their kind. We made a treaty to protect humans."

I frowned, not sure why that sounded so strange--so foreign to me. The Cold Ones--the Pale Faces--and wolves. None of that sounded like the life in Forks I knew, even if it was years later.

Jake laughed at my expression, folding his long arms. "It's just a story."

Then why hold a grudge against the Cullens'? I felt like asking, but I restrained myself. Jake returned to the topic of football. I was glad I could understand the game and could reply without sounding stupid. I concluded that Jacob was definitely my best friend out of everyone I'd met in forks as I checked out. I was embarrassed to see that I spent the most out of everyone, even though most of what I bought was on sale. But Jake was the only one who noticed my usually large total. I carried my bags out to my car and threw them into the trunk because I couldn't carry them all around with me, but everyone else decided to carry theirs around.

We walked to another nearby store to shop more. But I decided to pay for dinner, so I only bought a pair of shoes and a pair of jeans.

I ran to the bookstore after promising to meet everyone at the theater in an hour. Completely prepared to lose track of time, I set the alarm on my phone to go off in forty-five minutes so I would have time to go back to my car and drive to the theater. The bookstore was small, but I didn't care. I had my list of books to get.

_With These Hands, _by Louis L'Amour because I liked the title mostly. _To Kill a Mockingbird_, which was one of my favorites since I first read it in fifth grade. _Mrs. Mike, _another one of my favorites. It reminded me of _Gone With the Wind _(which was also on my list). _The Pearl _and _Of Mice and Men, Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, _by Jane Austin. _Jane Eyre._ I had to get enough to keep me occupied until the net time I made it to Port Angeles, and I didn't know when that would be.

I spent almost two hundred dollars on over twenty different books, including all the ones on my list. While I checked out, I looked at the time on my phone and cursed. My alarm hadn't gone off! The movie had started already and everyone was probably wondering where I was.

It was dark already with a drizzle coming down steadily. I pulled up my hood and quickly headed towards my car. I came to the end of the street. I had to turn into a long, dark alley to get there, but I saw seven college-aged boys--wasted--between me and the end of the alley. I turned around quickly when one whistled at me, pretending that I didn't know they were talking to me.

My long legs helped me walk fast, even with the books I carried. I glanced over my shoulder. Only four were following me, which made me even more nervous because I didn't know where the other three went. I sped up into a light jog. The end of the street was close, and I could find some other way back to my car.

I turned towards the bookstore and slowed to a fast walk for another block. "Hey, baby, don't be like that!" one of the boys yelled, their speech slurred. My legs were starting to ache from my quick pace and my breath was already gone when I realized they were following me.

Spinning on my heel, I turned onto a side street that I swore I recognized from when Charlie picked me up from the airport. I broke into a jog again, hearing the taunting voices closer behind me. I reached a busy intersection and ran across so they would be caught during a green light, unable to cross until I put some distance between us.

I broke into a sprint to make the distance as far as I could. I froze, taking as few steps as possible as I tried to stop. I saw the other three boys waiting there for me. I was being _herded. _I was cornered and there was no way out. Not unless luck was on my side, and it never was.

The class of self defense I took with my best girlfriends ran through my head, but no one was close enough to touch. And I got stuck on how much I missed all my friends, even in that situation. I tried to stay calm, to not panic. I backed up into one of the four though. I was surrounded, seven-to-one.

One reached to run a hand through my hair. "Don't touch me," I whispered breathlessly, shoving away his hand.

He grabbed my arm angrily. I remembered the hardcover book in my bag. It could be used as a _weapon _if it needed to--

I gasped as a car turned the corner, going so fast I thought it would hit me. I jumped out of the way just in time, missed by half an inch. My heart was stopped. Edward. It was Edward!

He jumped out of the car. "Get in!" he ordered in a fierce tone, the most angry I'd ever heard.

I obeyed, too shocked to do anything else or bring up an argument. Edward's hands were fists. I stared, frightened for Edward. He took a hesitant step towards the seven. The motion was so fast I hadn't seen it, but he climbed into his Volvo, jaw clenched. As fast as he came, he backed out at a dangerous speed.

"Distract me so I don't go back and rip those guy's heads off," he told me.

"What? Um... Okay..." Anything so he didn't get in trouble for saving me. "You should put your seat belt on," I said. It was the first thing that came to mind.

"You put your seat belt on," Edward laughed.

I glared at him, considering punching him. But then I remembered he was driving at a hundred miles an hour. Probably not the best idea. "You should slow down," I said.

Edward laughed again. "You're not very good at this."

"Of course I'm not! I don't even know what just happened."

"How was shopping?" he asked.

My shoulders sagged in amazement. "Awesome!" I answered, throwing my bag of books onto the floor in my obvious frustration.

"What'd you get?" Edward pressed.

"Um... I got tons of clothes, shoes, belts, a purse, and some books. Lots of stuff."

"You hungry?"

"What?" I demanded. How could he think about eating just then? Even if he was a teenage guy.

"Okay." I saw Edward's grin. "You have to be able to explain why you missed the movie. Not to mention you look about ready to collapse. I'm taking you to the restaurant to eat. We need to talk."

I let out a slow breath. We did need to talk. _Edward _needed to explain quite a few things. I was silent as we drove to the Mexican restaurant we had planned to eat at after the movie--though I wasn't sure how Edward knew which one. He ran around the car to open my door. Even when it was obvious I was angry, he was polite, and I manged to smile a thank you.

Once inside, he helped me out of my coat and asked for a private table. I cringed, realizing it was Valentine's Day, and sat across from him. "What do you want to drink?" he asked me before the waitress could.

"I'll just have some water, thanks," I told her, smiling apologetically because even I thought Edward was rude.

"Two waters," Edward announced, watching my face.

I looked over the menu, but I couldn't concentrate, and set it down. "How did you know where I was?" I asked, arms folded. He didn't answer and I gave an exasperated sigh. "D-did you follow me to the store?" Silence. "I won't be mad. I just want to know."

"You ready to order, honey?" the waitress asked Edward, completely ignoring me--not that I blamed her. I found it hard to look away sometimes.

Edward gestured for me to order. "Anything you want. I'm paying," he told me with a breath-taking smile.

I glared at him for not answering my question, then turned to the waitress. "I'll have a chicken enchilada with white sauce. Beans on the side please. Can I get some chips and salsa too?" I didn't know of any Mexican restaurants that didn't give you chips right away.

"Yeah," she said in a rude tone. "Anything for you, honey?" she asked, her pleasant tone returning. I slammed my hand down on the table furiously, ready to yell at her to stop calling Edward "honey". But I restrained myself because I knew it would look like jealously. And there was no reason to be. Edward never took his eyes off me, not once, even when the waitress was flirting with him.

"No, thank you," he answered, still polite, but with more force than I expected. He waited until she was gone before he leaned closer to me. "In answer to your question--did I follow you--yes. Yes, I did," he admitted. "Word was around school. I came--just to kill time. But then I saw you going to the bookstore, and I knew it was a pretty bad area. So, yes, I did follow you."

I stared at him, stunned by his honesty. I sniffed and took a sip of my water, realizing how thirsty I was. "Why?" was my next question.

Edward's mouth twisted into a smile, and I saw the warning behind it--like he expected me to be angry about what he was about to say. "I feel very... protective of you," he told me as if it was painful. Before I could ask why, he shrugged, apparently reading my mind. "There's something about you that draws me in. You're so young, but--"

"I'm sixteen. You're only a year older than me. How does that make me 'so young'?" I asked.

Edward was silent because the waitress returned with my food. I smiled at her to be polite. "You sure you don't want anything?" she asked Edward, and I could swear she took the time to put on some perfume.

"Yes," he said simply. When our waitress left, he met my eyes. "I'm talking about your character actually. You're playful without flirting. You're mature, extremely mature for your age, and I'm not sure why because most would be immature in your situation. But in your maturity, you're still alive and happy. You're like an innocent _child" _he explained, putting a strong emphasis on the word "child". He smiled gently at me. "You don't know what those guys were planning to do to you," he whispered, his fury returning.

I cut my enchilada and took my first bite so I could think a minute. After swallowing, I looked down at the empty table in front of Edward. "It was pretty obvious actually," I told him quietly. "And if it wasn't, it wouldn't be hard to guess."

"No, I guess not," Edward mumbled thoughtfully. "Anymore questions?"

I nodded. "How did you... save me yesterday?"

"Adrenaline."

"Okay. Why did you save me?" I asked, and his face hardened immediately at that question.

"Would you have it any other way?"

"No, you misunderstood my question. You've spent the entire week telling me that we shouldn't be friends. But yesterday, you saved me. And then today, just now, why did you save me? You don't know that they would have gone through with their plans."

"Because I didn't know that they _wouldn't _go through with them either," he snapped. "And you don't deserve what they were going to do."

"How do you know _exactly _what they were planning to do, Edward? How do you know?"

Edward smiled, and I felt tempted to throw my plate at him. I was angry, and he was _smiling? _"Everyone in this room, I can read their minds, apart from yours. I _hear _what people think." He glanced around the room and I followed his gaze. "There's sex, money, drugs, sex, and so on," he said, looking at each person in the room. His eyes came to me then--the last person in the room. "And then there's nothing from you."

I frowned, amazed and confused. "You read minds, but you can't read mine?" I clarified.

He nodded. "It's very frustrating."

I leaned back in my seat, arms folded. I tried to think of any way to reply. But nothing sounded right.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, studying me. I could see in his gold eyes that he was hoping I didn't think he was crazy. And I didn't want for him to believe that.

"I'm trying to figure you out. You save lives, push cars away with your hand, you're fast, you read minds. What are you--a super hero?"

"No! No! I'm the bad guy," he told me. "I'm the horror story you wanted as a reason we shouldn't be friends."

I shook my head in disbelief. "No. I don't believe that."

Edward laughed in frustration. "Why not?" he asked me.

"Because you wouldn't have saved me if you were a bad guy. And even if you are, bad people can do good things. Sometimes, they don't even want to be bad. They just are. A series of circumstances make them a certain way. And, anyway, people aren't either good or bad. _They're just people."_

Edward considered my words silently. Then he smiled, which told me my words made sense to him, even if that didn't change his opinion of himself. "Finish your food," he told me in a better mood.

As I chewed, I wondered why he didn't eat. "I'm afraid I don't know much about you," Edward admitted, pushing his water towards me when I finished mine. "I don't like gossip, so do I get to hear the story first hand?"

I smiled. "It's not really important."

"Okay. Then hobbies. Does that qualify as important?" he asked, and I shrugged. "Other than reading and shopping, what are three hobbies?"

I laughed, chewing on my lip. "Uh... Um... Horseback riding, photography, and..." I paused because I knew it sounded stupid. "And laughing," I finished awkwardly.

Edward grinned. "Do you own a horse?"

"No. I don't need one. Most teenagers don't have a $50,000 car. I definitely don't need another ride."

Edward laughed, so I knew he understood my joke. "Does scrap booking come with the photography?"

"Not really. Sometimes though. It's more just a way to make sure I won't ever forget the things I want to remember forever." I smiled, meeting his eyes. I laughed because I half expected him to glare at me and he didn't. "Like, uh, my friends, my pegs, the top twenty best days of my life, all my best memories were documented with photography. At home, I have a room I call 'memory lane'. It's just a room covered in all my pictures of friends throughout my entire life."

"Your top twenty. What is... number eighteen?"

I laughed again, but nervously this time. "Um..." I looked down at the table. I knew exactly what it was because I had it written in the front page of my journal. "My sixteenth birthday actually," I answered quietly. "My dad came to California to see us. First time. He always insisted we come here.

"All in one day, I got my first car. I cried. That was the last time I wasn't mad at Charlie for something. He took me to the mall, and we window shopped. We didn't even buy anything. We built the biggest sand castle I've ever seen. It lasted two whole weeks before the tide ruined it. He helped me pick out a cake, and without me knowing, he bought two--exactly the same. He shoved one in my face." I smiled sadly. "I think that's the only time I saw him since the divorce we didn't fight about anything."

Edward studied me. I had my knees under my chin since I had eaten all I could. "Do you have a top twenty?" I asked finally, and he nodded. "What's number three?"

"Our discussion in English about Beowulf."

"Number one?" I asked because I wanted to know. His number three seemed so unimportant to me. I wondered what kind of life he lived to have such a strange, small thing third on his list.

Edward smiled. "I'm living it now."

"What happened to your parents?" I asked because there was no other reply.

"They died years ago."

"Carlisle adopted you." It wasn't a question. "I was adopted too, but I didn't know my parents. As much as Charlie and I fight over small things, he's still my dad."

"I never knew," Edward admitted, studying my face again.

"Let's play a game," I suggested to lighten to mood. "Ask me any question and I'll answer as fast as I can, then I get to do the same to you."

Edward grinned mischievously as he thought of the perfect question. "Worst boyfriend?"

I glared at him. "There was this kid named Johnny. He was horrible. We dated for two months. His compliments made no sense. Not that I didn't appreciate the time he took arranging them. Then he proposed, and I..."

"What?"

"I broke his nose actually," I said, and we laughed. "Hmm... Okay, perfect day at school?"

"Any day when you're there. Favorite toy growing up?"

"There was this dog, stuffed dog. Charlie got it for me the day he adopted me. It was bigger than me until I was like twelve. I remember trying to drag it upstairs when I was four and fell down all fifteen stars. But I was fine." I laughed. "What is one of your pet peeves?"

"Oh, easy questions! Waitresses," he answered, and I saw our waitress coming to refill our cups. He laughed with me, but he was able to control it when she arrived. I burst into laughter again when I saw her face, giggling under my hands until I turned red. "All right... Let's see. Favorite Valentine's Day?"

"Um... Well, last year, we had a huge party at my house and watched a bunch of comedies. I think it was the best definitely."

"Favorite month of the year?" he inquired.

"April," I answered, even though it was technically my turn. I didn't mind. We both seemed to enjoy my answers more. Edward must have asked me fifty more questions at least. He knew what instruments I played, my talents, my weaknesses, what modeling shows I was in, my favorite books, movies, bands, and songs. And I felt good!

The group--who I had completely forgotten about--arrived just as Edward led me towards the door. "Crap!" I exclaimed as they ran over. "I'm so sorry! It's a long story. I'll explain everything Monday, okay?" I handed the waitress my Visa quickly. "PUt their bill on that, please. I'll wait here." I turned back to my friends. "Get whatever you want--my treat. I'll see you all Monday," I said, and accepted my card, following Edward outside and through the rain to my Acura.

"Keys?" he inquired, and I handed him my key chain.

"What about your car?"

"My sister Alice is here too. She can drive it home." He opened my Acura's passenger door for me, then ran around to get in. He started my car, and I frowned in worry. "Um... Maybe I should drive," I said.

Edward laughed. "I'll go by the speed limit this time," he promised, but he was already pushing ninety in a thirty-five mile per hour zone.

"You really like to speed, don't you?"

"Speeding, no. Speed, yes."

"Oh. I see."

Then he slowed down, glancing at me. He was going too slow now, people honking angrily. "You like making people mad?" I asked.

"No. I don't want this night to end," he answered. Neither did I. I feard the old Edward would return with his mood swings by Monday. But the night's end was inevitable. It would come no matter how slowly he drove.

Edward continued his game on the way home. Before I knew it, we were parked outside Charlie's house. Edward opened my door for me. I smiled at his beautiful face, sure he was about to kiss me. But Charlie burst through the door, and I jumped. "Timberlee Ember Stone, get in here now!" he said quietly, which he did when he was beyond yelling.

I exchanged a glance with Edward and walked in. Edward followed. "Dad, I can explain," I said immediately.

"I'm sure you can explain why Jessica _and _Jacob called me asking if I knew where you were. You completely disappeared, Timberlee! I tried calling you four times. You said you were going to be with your friends from school, and then you leave and no one can find you?"

"I know, and I'm sorry, okay? I, uh, I'm--"

"You're grounded."

"What? Why? I can explain everything."

"Because I said so. Go to your room."

I glared at Charlie stubbornly. "Why won't you let me explain? There's a good reason for all of this. _And stop glaring at Edward!" _I yelled.

"Did he touch you?"

"What? Dad, that's disgusting! And private."

"Did he?"

I stood, my mouth open wide. I'd never thought about talking to Charlie about my sex life or any sex in general. But to save Edward... "No," I answered. "He was a perfect gentleman, like he always is."

"You'd better start explaining everything right now."

"Fine, I will! Everyone else went to the theater. I was going to the bookstore and then to meet them in an hour. I set my alarm, but my phone died, and I lost track of time. When I realized what time it was, I was already late and I was going to hurry to the theater, but on the way, these guys started following me. I freaked out and got lost trying to find another way to my car. Edward was driving by, saw me, and got me out of there. Then he took me to the restaurant to get me something to eat because I was shaking.

"We waited until everyone got there because my phone was dead, like I said. We didn't plan it, Dad. So stop yelling because it wasn't my fault. _Or Edward's," _I added, seeing Dad's glare shift to Edward. "He saved me."

"Really?"

"Yeah, there were seven guys, and then me. Edward got me out of there right away."

Dad eyed Edward suspiciously. Then he shook Edward's hand, cringing at how cold I knew it was. "Thank you," he said quietly, but I could tell he wasn't being as sincere as I wished he would have been.

"I have to get my bags," I announced.

"I'll help you," Edward volunteered.

I piled my bags into his arms and took the rest myself. Charlie held the door open for us and I led Edward upstairs to my room. "You certainly don't need any of this," Edward commented.

"A girl never has enough clothes," I told him.

"Sorry if I got you in trouble."

"No, it's not your fault, Edward," I said, sitting on the edge of my bed. "You need a ride home? I can--"

"No, it's fine. I hope your dad won't give you too much trouble about me driving you home."

I walked downstairs with him in silence because I knew Dad was listening. "I'll see you Monday. Thanks again."

Edward smiled. "You're welcome. Good night."

I watched him walk down the road until he disappeared around the corner. I smiled, running the day over in my mind. Then I shut the door. "I brought you some leftover enchiladas, Dad," I called from the kitchen, watching Charlie's back. "Billy leave already?"

"Yeah. I"ll give Jake a ride home later."

I raised my eyebrows expectantly, waiting for Charlie to take back grounding me, but nothing. I leaned against the wall. "Uh... Jake was gonna help me unpack tomorrow? Is that okay?"

"I told you were grounded. You never explained why Edward Cullen was there when he didn't meet here. Why did you let him take you to dinner and drive you home?"

"We're friends. He's my lab partner in Biology. I didn't want to offend him after he just saved me."

"Well talk about it in the morning," Charlie said quietly, and I knew he was thinking about the probability that I was lying and it was actually a date between myself and Edward.

I returned upstairs to think over my wonderful, beautiful night.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Dad never did take back grounding me, but he let Jacob come over, so I was sure I wasn't. The progress I made with Jacob in only a few hours was more than I would have made in a week by myself. Charlie was fishing when we finished, so I drove Jake home because he wanted to show me his car.

Sunday was rather boring after Jake left. I read and answered my emails from Mom, which had piled up. She wanted to know about my friends and if there were any possible boyfriends yet. While Dad encouraged my no dating rule, Mom wanted nothing more than to find me a boyfriend. Most of my day was spent wishing Monday morning would arrive. I wanted to see if Edward's mood swings continued or not. I went to bed earlier than usual from the exhaustion of cleaning my room so well.

I had another dream about Edward. He showed regret after he didn't save me, but my alarm woke me up before I could see the alternate ending to that story. I switched off my alarm quickly and pushed my hair out of my face. It was Monday morning and I wanted to see the end of the dream, the other possible ending to that night in Port Angeles. But not this time.

It was finally Monday morning! I rushed to get ready. I reached school before Edward. I sat in my car, radio on, just thinking over that night in Port Angeles. I wished I had my camera to document that night, and I vowed to start documenting everything with pictures as my thoughts went onto what would happen that day. What would happen with Edward? What would his mood be? Despite my fear of how he would act, I smiled when he parked next to me.

Rosalie glared at me Edward-style, but Edward smiled at me. No glare yet. A good sign, a sign I had really wanted. I closed my eyes to put that picture in my mind forever. When I opened them, I was out of my truck and Alice stood in front of me with Edward.

"I'm Alice," she told me in a sweet voice. "It's so nice to meet you!"

"It's nice to meet you too," I replied, and she skipped away to catch up with Jasper. Edward and I stood in an awkward silence for a moment. "So I guess this means we're friends, huh?" I asked as we started walking towards building two for English. Edward stopped me, took my bag, and then we continued our casual stroll.

"You trust people too quickly" was his reply.

I laughed because it wasn't true. It was the opposite actually. I had trust issues. I never trusted anyone, and it took too long to earn my trust. "Who said I trusted you?" I asked, frowning up at him expectantly.

He glanced at me, then looked straight ahead as a gust of wind passed us. He froze in that position. It must have been obvious that I was about to ask what was wrong because he shook his head to stop me. "Just hold very still for a second," he instructed in a strained voice. I obeyed because I wanted our conversation to continue even if he didn't explain his bizarre behavior. It only took about thirty seconds and then he smiled apologetically at me. "No one _said _you trusted me," he answered as if nothing happened. "But you seem a little too comfortable with me to _not _trust me."

"It's a front," I told him. It scared me. I would never have told anyone else that. Why did I announce it so freely with him? I shrugged, seeing is confused look. "I guess I feel safer that way. Less vulnerable to the crazy world out there. As long as everyone else believes I'm okay, I can do the same."

Edward studied me, then he cringed and looked away. "You'll have to elaborate," he said. "I told you: I can't read your mind."

I found the chance and leaped on it. A lighter subject! I laughed, looking around at the students we passed on our way. "So... What's everyone thinking?" I asked.

Edward must have seen what I was trying to do, but he didn't let on. He grinned. "About us," he answered awkwardly, glancing down at me. "Are we a couple? Why am I suddenly so friendly with you? Apparently, they noticed that. Jealousy--"

"Who?" I demanded, looking around the crowd.

But Edward shook his head. "I wouldn't want to ruin any friendships," he told me, but his grin told me to forget it. "Let's see. There's, uh..." He clucked his tongue once and laughed. "All right. You'll find this amusing. Adam Pete, the guy in Biology. Front row. He likes you. On top of that, he wants to help you study."

I faked a disgusted gag. "Do I need help studying?" I asked, suddenly self-conscious. Edward was so smart. I didn't want to sound unintelligent or anything.

"You do it without thinking, but you stutter sometimes. It's not like you can't help it," Edward replied. "And actually, his idea of studying isn't the same as ours. He's not--"

"I don't need to hear it!" I snapped.

Edward frowned. "I wasn't going to elaborate," he told me, and then I felt guilty for being rude. But he smiled gently then. "I don't blame you though."

"More," I mumbled.

Edward grinned at my childish tone. "Okay, okay... Sex, somebody almost got caught on a date the other night."

"Us?" I inquired because I wasn't sure.

"No, somebody else actually."

"Okay, good. Ours wasn't a date."

"Movies, sex, um... Hatred--"

"That's a feeling, not a thought," I pointed out.

"Very observant," Edward commented.

"Do you ever get your feelings hurt?" I asked.

"Nah, I don't really care what people think about me," he answered, opening the door to English for me. I couldn't help smiling. Mike Newton would never be that polite.

We had a quiz over what we had already read of Romeo and Juliet. It was an easy quiz because Mr. Sanders handed us all the answers on Friday. I finished second only to Edward, which I didn't mind because he wrote much faster than I did. I stared down at my hands, playing with my pen. I glanced over at Edward when he slipped a note into my lap behind Mr. Sanders' back.

I frowned and unfolded it. I was amazed at how neat his handwriting was--small and elegant. I sat, staring at it for several minutes before I realized I hadn't read it yet.

Timberlee Ember Stone,

I stopped. He spelled my name correctly. Of course, it wasn't too hard if you had a good memory and got a glance at one of my papers before I turned it in. He remembered my middle name too, even though he only heard it once. And most people thought it was Amber, not Ember. He could push cars away with his bare hand. He could read Romeo and Juliet, and make me believe in heroes. Of course, he could remember my name!

I turned back to the note.

Timberlee Ember Stone,  
Just as a warning. I know it's none of my business, but Adam Pete was also rehearsing how to ask you out.

I stared. I was _glad _Edward told me, even if it was none of his business. I would have time to rehearse how to turn him down now too. The boy was smart and probably sweet, but in great need of a makeover, plus some good facial soap to clear up his complexion.

After a slow recovery, I wrote my reply as neatly as I could.

No, thanks for the warning. My heart would have stopped without it. You might have had to save me again.

He only took a few seconds to reply, and he was grinning when he handed it back.

I do know CPR.

I laughed, biting my lips together to muffle the sound. I hadn't expected that as a reply. I expected something more along the lines of "I'd rush you to the hospital where Carlisle would save you". But either one would work. The thought of Edward saving me a _third _time in less than five days was frightening, but amusing at the same time.

Mr. Sanders interrupted my reply and told us to open our books to where we had left off Friday. As Edward's smooth voice read, I finished my reply and slipped it into his lap in time to read my line.

So maybe Beowulf is real then. My bad luck would be the real monster.

Edward glanced at me, grinning, and nodded. To my disappointment, there was no reply. My first guess was that he thought it was wrong to pass notes in class. He seemed the type to want to pay attention in class. Of course, I found that thought amusing since he _had followed me _only two nights before.

Between my lines, I imagined what excuse Edward would dream up if he hadn't admitted to following me in Port Angeles on Saturday. Adrenaline wouldn't have worked because he would have had to explain how he was somehow close enough to see me and why he hadn't stepped in before I was cornered. I wondered why he felt so protective of me. I was raised going back and forth between New York City and Los Angeles. What could happen in Port Angeles that couldn't happen in New York or LA? Or even Forks for that matter.

Edward could, of course, use the excuse that he didn't knew me when I lived there. And I was pretty sure he _would. _I rolled my eyes to myself. Edward was an all-round mystery, one I wanted to understand, but that wasn't going to happen. Edward was as stubborn as I was. Any arguments we had would end in a draw. No one would win.

When the bell rang, I was slow to pack up because Edward lingered. "Mood swings starting again?" I joked, grinning.

Edward laughed. "That's not what they were in the first place," he announced.

"Seems like that's what they were to me," I replied, sitting on my desk.

"No, they were an inner struggle."

"Only problem with that: Inner struggles are on the _inside, _not where everyone can see them," I mumbled.

Edward grinned. "So childish. I was debating whether or not to ignore your attempts to make friends with everyone in the school, including me," he explained. "I was amazed at how observant you are." He paused. "But you're right. I never said I didn't want to be friends."

"So are we?" I inquired as we started out of the English room.

"Depends on your definition of a friend, I guess," he told me. "I'll see you at lunch."

I nodded silently as he left. What else was I supposed to do? But once again, I found myself trying to understand this mysterious person named Edward Cullen. It was an impossible task, but I wanted to _know. _Without asking, I knew he would never tell me, so I didn't bother. It wouldn't be any use.

I walked to lunch with Mike and Jessica. We sat at our usual table, and I got my water, like always. Mike told me about the movie I had missed, said that it wasn't as good as the previews made it look, but that was usually the case.

"Ugh!" Jessica mumbled angrily.

"What?" I asked with Mike.

"Edward Cullen is trying to get your attention," she announced.

I turned, smiling at Edward. He gestured for me to join him at the empty table. I paused, but Angela gave me a small push. "Go on!" she whispered.

I didn't need an persuasion. I stood and slowly walked over to join Edward. I was scared I would trip over something. Luckily for me, my own personal super hero was there to catch me if I did. I smiled as I sat down across from him. He was studying me, so I took a gulp of water, trying to ignore it. He could take all the time he wanted before he said something.

"You're a strange girl, Timberlee," he said finally.

I nodded because I knew it was true. Most people would find me strange. I was unique. I didn't care though. "And what's your point?" I inquired.

Edward licked his lips, grinning at me. "You aren't like any other girl I've known or seen before."

"Coming from the person who reads minds?" I pressed with a mischievous grin. "A very unique talent. Do you mind telling me your secret?" I paused, and Edward frowned in confusion. "You see, I know the basics. Like, uh... Your facial expressions. If I was to ask you how many siblings you have, your reaction--maybe a cock of your head or you raising a certain part of your eyebrow--and how big the reaction is would give me an answer and a number without you saying a single word. You can find the classes online or just key notes to them. My step dad took a course on it in college. You can say more than you know without saying a single word. But thoughts aren't answer to simple questions."

"You're smart."

I shook my head doubtfully, taking another sip of water.

"Why do you put yourself down?" Edward asked.

"Why did you say you were a monster from a horror story?" I replied.

Edward gave a sad smile. "You remember that, huh?"

I only nodded.

Edward folded his hands on the table. He appeared to be struggling. I wanted to know why he struggled so often, but this time, he didn't finish the thought his face started. He smiled instead. "What're you thinking?" he asked quietly, trying so hard to read my eyes, my face.

"Lots of things," I answered. "And most of them don't matter."

"They must matter if you think so hard about them. Why don't you explain?"

I shrugged, smiling. I raised an eyebrow because I couldn't understand my own behavior. "I, uh... I don't talk about it. Sorry," I answered finally.

"No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be asking personal questions."

I shook my head. "No! That's not it. Um... It's... I'll explain some day. I promise." I smiled again to "seal" the promise, but I didn't know if either of us would remember that promise. "So why is Alice so open to me when everyone else isn't? Is there some mortal sin I've committed?"

"It's a long story about why Rosalie--and only Rosalie--doesn't like you. Alice just finds a different way to look at life, things in life. She's open to new things because she can see some things other people can't."

"So your whole family is made up of super heroes?" I teased, knowing he hated to be called a super hero--though I wasn't sure why. "What about the others? Any super powers?"

"That's not what they are!" Edward insisted.

"Fine. Then how do you do it?"

Edward chuckled in annoyance. He shook his head, which told me he wasn't going to give in, but neither was I. I smiled. I had finally found someone who was as stubborn as I was. Edward led the way to Biology. He carried my bags and opened doors for me. I liked the way he made me feel all the time. So far, it wasn't a temporary good feeling like with most boys. It kept getting better--once it started--and better. That was how it was supposed to be, supposed to _feel._

Edward respected me. He had so many chances to take advantage of me in my vulnerability. On the way back from Port Angeles. An hour long drive, just us in my car, no one else to be seen. But instead, we talked about our favorite cereals, our top choice of country to live in if we could live anywhere in the world--we both chose London, England. We talked about childish topics, like we would never grow up. Everyone knew how I cried myself to sleep the day before, of, and after my birthday, sad to be a year older. We talked about our favorite side dishes on Thanksgiving. Edward claimed he had my car under control, but I didn't believe him because he looked like he would pass out from laughter when I said whipped cream. And he managed to escape a lecture for nearly wrecking my car, even if he claimed there was no problem in the first place.

I smiled at the memory of his laugh. So beautiful, so perfect. Something about Edward Cullen was so mature, like a grown man. But he was only a year older than me. He made me laugh without effort. Still, Mom had no idea about him, and I usually told her everything. That scared me because I had also managed to be decent towards Charlie on Saturday, even when he was being unreasonable. I didn't want to grow apart from Mom and grow closer to Dad. It scared me.

She was my mother, true, and she was a good one. We were girlfriends, but the relationship was complex. I didn't even understand it. It was like I was the adult, always picking her up. I didn't mind though. She was supportive when I needed it and so encouraging. She was wise in a childish way. I wanted to be like her--a child forever. But that wasn't possible. My childhood wasn't anything like hers. And my teenage years were even more different. I was a lot like Charlie too, but I always had a defiance in me that neither of them had, a fire inside of me. Michael used to joke about how my biological mother must have had red hair, but he didn't understand. I knew who my parents were, but because I had never met them, I felt like I was missing an important part of me. I was always searching for something. In fame, appearance, anything I thought could possibly fill that gap inside of me.

I wasn't used to relying on a single person so much. My trust was usually put in a large group of people to make me happy. Not one person because what if the person left or died or our friendship ended? I couldn't take another hit. But in Forks, Edward Cullen was the meaning to my life, the reason I loved Mondays suddenly. As much as I loved it, loved how he made me feel, loved how he made me laugh, loved everything about him, that terrified me.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

The next morning when I woke up, both my throat and my head hurt. I walked downstairs in my pajamas to get a drink and some Advil. Dad sat at the table with his coffee. "Morning, honey," he said.

I ignored him because I knew my throat would hurt more if I tried to talk. I glanced at the dosage on the bottle and dumped double the recommended amount onto the counter. I heard Dad stand up as I filled a cup with water. Dad checked the dosage before I could put the bottle of Advil away, then snatched up the pills. "Are you trying to overdose?" he asked me.

"No, my head is just killing me. Can I have them back, please?"

Dad noticed the hoarseness in my voice, I guess. He put a hand to my forehead. It felt freezing! "You're running a pretty high fever. Sore throat too," he observed as I gulped down a full cup of water, which didn't help at all. "Go get your coat. I'm taking you to the hospital."

"Why?"

"I want to make sure it's not strep throat. And maybe get something better than double the amount of Advil you're supposed to take."

"I probably just slept with my mouth open, Dad. It's nothing."

"Better safe than sorry, and strep's been going around."

"Well, can I take a shower first? I smell like the dogs--they slept with me." As an insurance policy, I decided to add, "The cruiser doesn't have good air flow, ya know? And it's too cold to open a window. I doubt you want to--"

"Just go," he interrupted impatiently. "But make it quick."

I showered in five minutes and dressed in an old pair of sweats, an over sized t-shirt, and my old pair of Vans, plus my coat. Walking downstairs, I felt even worse than I did before. Dad must've noticed because he put an arm around my waist to help support me. I leaned against him because I knew I would fall over if I didn't.

Despite my exhaustion, I was aware enough to notice Dad was speeding on the way to the hospital. Dad had to carry me into the hospital though. Dr. Cullen was a surgeon, but he took my case anyway.

"105.2," the nurse announced after taking my temperature.

"We'll have a strep test done," Dr. Cullen told me. "Only takes about ten minutes. We swab--"

"Yeah, I know. I've had it done before."

The supposed ten minutes felt more like thirty. Dad sat in the corner, and I curled up into a ball on the bed. My throat still felt strange after the nurse swabbed the back of it. Dr. Cullen finally returned. "It's not strep, but I think you probably have Mono."

"The Kissing Disease?" Dad inquired, his voice turning angry as he shot a glance at me.

"But I haven't--" I began

"The only boy she's been around alone is Edward. Timberlee, if he touched you or anything at all, tell--"

"Dad! I told you we went to dinner," I said slowly because I felt overwhelmed. "_It was not a date."_

"She would have gotten it before then. It takes a while for the symptoms to appear," Carlisle said patiently. "She probably got it before she even came here."

"Who have you been kissing?" Dad demanded.

"No one! And that's not the only way you can get it anyway. I share drinks with people. If it is Mono, that's how I got it. Not kissing."

"Have you shared any drinks with anyone here?" Dr. Cullen asked. "Maybe at school?"

I shook my head tiredly. "Nope. I only share drinks with my friends at home--in LA. And I didn't kiss anyone either," I snapped, glaring at Dad. "Especially not Edward. He's just a friend." I couldn't be sure of that though. If Saturday night was in our top twenty--it was my number nineteen--we must have had something special. Especially since Edward had it as his number one.

"Last I checked, friends don't go out on dates," Dad muttered as if he thought I couldn't hear it.

_"It. Was. Not. A. Date!" _I insisted, covering my face with my hands in frustration. I threw another furious glare at Charlie before I looked back to Carlisle, who didn't seem to notice that we were arguing. He didn't even look up when we mentioned Edward. "So how do I get rid of it?"

"Lots of sleep, and make sure you stay hydrated. I'll write a prescription for some NSAIDs if you want, Chief Stone, but she doesn't need them. The best treatment is sleep and avoiding heavy activity--I'll write a note to excuse you from Gym at school. Any medication would be to relieve the symptoms--like cough, fever, and so on."

"I can still go to school though, right?"

"Yes, just don't let anyone drink out of the same cup."

"I want you to stay home for a few days," Dad announced, and I started to think he was making it a goal to make me angry. "You can go back to school Monday."

"Dad, it's only Tuesday! What am I supposed to do for the next week?"

"Read those books you got Saturday and sleep."

"I've already read about half of them," I retorted, and it was true. "In a week, I could read every book in the whole lousy library here."

"Timberlee, stop arguing."

"How much sleep have you been getting a night?" Carlisle asked as if we hadn't been fighting right in front of him.

I shrugged. Thoughts of Edward and the romance novels I got in Port Angeles kept me up most of the long nights in Forks. I didn't know why, but romance was all I wanted to read. I closed my tired eyes to average the hours of sleep I had been getting. "I dunno. Maybe two or three hours," I answered finally, and yawned.

"For the next month, I want you to get at least nine hours of sleep a night. And avoid any heavy activities."

I nodded. "But when my friend Matt had Mono, he didn't look as tired as I feel."

"He probably wasn't working on as little sleep as you are. You haven't shared any drinks with him, have you?"

"No, no, he's dead," I replied quietly, staring at the floor.

"So for at least today, you should go home and sleep like your father says. As for your headache--"

"It's not from last Friday," I interrupted, too tired to care if I was being rude. "I have TMJ. I clench my jaw sometimes without realizing it." I bit my lips between my teeth to stop my smile as I thought how much Edward's head must have hurt when he spent an entire Biology class with his jaw clenched, every muscle in his body tensed. He still hadn't explained it, but I didn't mind. We both had our own secrets.

Dad drove me home and then told me he was going to work, but he promised to be home as soon as he could. I only grunted on my way upstairs to collapse in bed.

I fell asleep horizontally across my bed, shoes and coat still on. My dream was about Edward. I had replays of the times he saved me and alternate endings. But this time, I only saw his face, but I still knew exactly what was happening to me. When Ben's car nearly smashed me, there was a split second of debate, a glance at Alice, and then he saved me. His eyes were worried, concerned, and something else I couldn't read.

When I was being followed in Port Angeles, he was driving by, as if to check on me, but he already knew I was being followed. His eyes grew... hateful. They were filled with rage, disgust. But once we were both in his car, it turned to a battle. Once we were talking inside the restaurant, that unreadable look returned. His eyes nearly danced when he laughed with me. It was so beautiful!

But my dream changed. It showed his eyes. Topaz, black, and every shade in between. I was so sure they were changing and that I wasn't imagining things, but I had never seen anyone outside of the Cullen family with yellow eyes before.

More than that, only Rosalie and Jasper were related, but all the Cullens had the exact same eyes. They changed in unison too! Even Dr. Cullen, his eyes were darker than on Friday, but it was none of my business. I shouldn't ask him about it, and Edward offered no answers whatsoever. So I decided to tell myself over and over again until I believed it that Edward just got contacts.

His ability to read minds was questionable. Most wouldn't believe it, but I had to. How else would he have found me in Port Angeles? Why else would he have stepped in? Just something about him made me believe it. There was no reason not to believe it after he saved me over and over again.

I woke up to the sound of the cruiser's door slamming, and glanced at my clock. It was after three! I rubbed my eyes with a groan. I kicked off my shoes and threw my coat on the floor, grabbed a pillow, and curled up in bed again.

Dad opened my door a few inches and peeked in. I opened my heavy eyelids. "Sorry if I woke you," he said, and walked in. "I brought you some water."

I pushed myself up on my elbows and took the cup of water. "Thanks," I mumbled, my throat aching. The cold water felt against my throat and relieved my fever for a few minutes.

"How do you feel?"

I shrugged. "Better," I lied. I felt about the same.

Dad didn't notice. He pushed a few of my pillows aside so he could sit down. I rubbed my eyes sleepily. "Honey, I know you don't want to talk to me about it, but I have to say something. The Cullens are..." He paused when I rolled my eyes. "They're all good looking. You're a young girl, and boys will take advantage of that sometimes."

I closed my eyes, feeling the sleep coming on. "Dad, if you're so worried about it, talk to Mom," I mumbled. "She'll tell you to leave me alone. I didn't come here to find a boyfriend. And I'm not shallow enough to date a boy for his looks, okay? Please, stop with the nagging about guys and dating and all that."

Dad raised his hands in surrender. "Fine. I'll leave you alone then. Sorry for waking you," he said, standing.

"Mm," I mumbled into my pillow.

Dad took the cup from me, but he must have returned because when I woke up next, a full cup of water was on my night stand. I gulped it down quickly before I spotted the bag of cough drops too. Dad must have ran to the pharmacy. It was seven already, so I grabbed Romeo and Juliet to read what I would have read in school if I went.

Dad was in the kitchen, paper in front of him. I smiled at him, opening the fridge. "I ordered Chinese," he told me quietly. "I figured you wouldn't be in the mood to cook and that you would still be hungry after you ate everything in the house."

I smiled, sitting across from him, knees up to my chest. "Probably," I muttered, looking around the house. It was obvious to anyone who stepped foot inside Charlie's house that he'd never gotten over Mom. Pictures of me and Michael until the separation covered the walls. Our old toys were still in the corner where we left them. School pictures and pictures of important or memorable days were hung everywhere. Me, Dad, and my truck, tears wet on my face still from my last birthday. Me after my first fashion show at thirteen, makeup and hair still done. Michael after his first football game, covered in mud. Michael and his first girlfriend, who he was still dating.

"Can I fly home--to LA, I mean--sometime? Maybe spring break?" I asked, suddenly homesick. I smiled again. "Forks isn't too bad actually, but I miss the sun, Mom, and everybody." I pushed my hair out of my face. "And Michael's gonna be fifteen too. Mom promised I could teach him to drive."

"Wonderful," Dad muttered. "He have a care yet or plans for getting one?"

I shook my head.

"Mm. Maybe I'll give him my truck. Not like I ever use it."

I grinned. "What if a new lady comes to town though? Gonna take her out in the cruiser?"

Dad rolled his eyes, standing to answer the door. But as I heard the delivery man announce the total, I thought about it. Dad's Ford was nicer than my Chevy. A '93 model. Michael would appreciate any car he could show off to his girlfriend.

I laughed when Dad entered the kitchen again. "What?" he inquired.

"Michael with a car," I answered, "in LA. He'll be speeding all over the place because you wouldn't be the cop to pull him over there."

Dad frowned and started serving a plate of food. "Maybe we--your mom and me--could switch children for spring break," he suggested, and it had been a long time since he saw Michael. "Or would his girlfriend hate me for that?"

"She would. A lot. But you could still try. Who knows--maybe Michael's sick of the sun by now?"

"Very funny," Charlie replied grumpily on his way into the living room to watch TV. I smiled after him because we both knew how much Michael hated the rain. But I knew Dad wanted the change to teach Michael to drive responsibly as well as see the look on his face when he gave Michael his truck. Of course, Michael probably wouldn't cry like I did.

Spring break was the third week of March. I could hardly wait until then. Even if the week would be Edwardless, it could also be packed with fun. I would get to see all my old friends, including my best friend Phoebe. I wanted to spend all day at the mall with her, trying to sort Edward out together. And even if we came up with no answers at all, it would be fun.

I wanted to ask Mom's advice face-to-face about how to handle Dad and the boys in Forks. I wanted to introduce her to Edward too, but that wasn't possible. She wouldn't come to Forks and asking Edward to come to LA with me would be strange. _The thought_ alone sounded strange.

I wanted something I was familiar with. Not the mysterious world I lived in now where people could read minds. I wanted to be somewhere where people could only guess what people were thinking. After a week alone, I considered Forks home too. That was strange to me. I wanted time to think about it, about Edward. It was so wrong, and I knew it was, but I wanted to see how Edward reacted to me after my absence, how he reacted when I returned. But part of me wasn't sure if I could leave Forks for even a week. Four weeks until spring break, and I didn't know what those weeks would bring.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

"Dad, it's sunny and gorgeous outside for once!" I yelled as Charlie made another attempt to push past me and leave, even though I was far from finished with the argument. It was Friday. I had missed both Wednesday and Thursday only because Dad insisted. But when I woke up to a sunny, beautiful day on Friday morning, there was no way I was going to miss school three days locked up in a house with only dogs and Charlie for company, plus the nineteen emails from home. It was miserable!

"Please, can I go to school?" What other teenager would beg to be allowed to go to school? Maybe that's why Dad thought I was so sick. But no matter what his reasons were, I was ready to jump out of my bedroom window if that's what it took to get past Charlie--he was ready to lock me up.

"You still have a fever. You can go to school Monday."

"It won't be sunny on Monday! That's the whole reason I want to go." I continued to list the reasons why he should give in. The most important was because I was more stubborn than he was. Vitamin D was important, and I was from LA. My friends--I didn't mention any names in fear that Edward's would slip out--would start to believe he had locked me in the attic and would hire a detective. The more ridiculous the reasons became, the more annoyed Charlie became. And that's when he gave in.

"Fine, go! But no Gym! No kissing or sharing drinks." He paused, expecting me to argue, and it was hard not to. But I bit my tongue so he wouldn't change his mind. "Work on your tan too. Your mother seems to think you look pale, even though she hasn't seen you," he muttered, slipping into his coat.

I grinned because I had no doubt my mom said something like that. It sounded like my dearest mother, whose entire day was spent worrying about me, trying to find me a boyfriend, or emailing me. Michael was neglected a lot and I knew it. But Mom and her strange ideas and worries were important to me. And Michael understood. Despite his refusal to visit Dad in Forks, he was still close to Charlie. I suspected it was mostly _because _he didn't live with Dad.

I smiled to myself again after Dad left. The sun was beautiful and so refreshing after nearly two weeks of constant precipitation. I left for school early, driving my Acura to open the sun roof and to relax. It was gorgeous in Forks when the sun was out. Everything was so green and the trees were covered in moss. It wasn't like the dryness in California.

Edward's parking space--which was officially next to mine--was empty. I took my bag and sat at the scarcely used picnic tables. Jessica joined me soon. "If you're looking for Edward, they never come when it's nice outside," he announced. "His parents drag them out for like hiking, camping, and all kinds of stuff like that. He won't be here today."

I tried not to let myself be disappointed, and even more than that, I tried not to let Jessica see. So I just laughed a bit. "Lucky him. Wouldn't work on my parents. Not even my mom," I muttered.

"Same here. Not even close when I tried that on mine."

I could put on a happy face and smile in the beautiful sun, but I was disappointed. The sun wasn't the real reason though. I wanted to come to school. _Edward _was the reason and I couldn't imagine why I let my disappointment go so far as to consider going home, claiming I suddenly felt worse. Mentally, yes, but physically, no.

True, Romeo and Juliet was the same story, but it sounded so different without Edward's voice. Trigonometry seemed even more unbearable than usual. The teacher was Ms. Woods. She reminded me of every math teacher I had through the years--strange, annoying, and short tempered. She constantly asked me questions and I knew the answers most of the time, but I didn't always know the explanations. When I could answer, she would tell me how smart I was. Then the next minute, she would yell at me for not being able to explain it to my neighbors. She frustrated me as much as every other math teacher I had in the past.

Government was even more boring than it usually was. There was no line of Romeo and Juliet to imagine Edward saying over and over. There was no crooked smile when I said something he thought was childish. There was no day dreaming. I wondered why Edward's parents took them out when it was nice--probably because Dr. and Mrs. Cullen were younger than my parents were.

In French, we took notes on verbs and new vocabulary. Out of everyone in the class, I spoke the most French. Mom had always wanted to be a French teacher. With that dream, she took all the classes she could. When I helped her with homework, I learned a great deal myself. A trip to Paris was the final lesson. I was fluent enough, but I needed two credits in a foreign language for high school. I knew enough Spanish to get by, so I chose to further my study in French to please Mom.

Computer and Art flew by after that. I didn't know why though. On the way to lunch, I stopped by my car to get my camera. Mom would want to know all my friends by name by the time she came for graduation next year, so I would take as many pictures as I could.

I had an entire wall empty in my room. Over the weekend, I wanted to find some cork board and make my own "memory lane" here in Forks. I wanted to remember those beautiful memories in Forks. Where better to start than a rare sunny day? The first picture I took was of the Cullen table, then the table where I sat with Edward once. No one noticed, so I quickly started to snap pictures of "the gang".

By the end of lunch, I had pictures of everyone I ate with or had classes with. They seemed to flock in when they saw I had a camera. Pictures of our group, the school, even the parking lot. Everything. I snapped one last shot of Edward's empty seat in Biology. But come Monday morning, I wanted to get a picture of him in it.

As small as the memories were, I treasured them. I had only so long to live. So each and every moment was important, no matter what happened. The past had taught me that anything can happen in the future, and it was often bad. No one could foretell when a life would end or when a dear friend would move away. So each unimportant moment became important. Each lousy, stupid memory.

As I made friends in Forks, grew closer to each and every one of them--especially Edward--I wished I had my camera with me everyday since I moved to Forks. But the rare day of sun in Forks was a good enough place to start since I hadn't already.

Biology was worse than it was on the second day of school. It seemed like it had been years ago. We had come so far. From glares and hatred to laughter and whatever else we had. I didn't understand our friendship, but I didn't need to. I knew it was important to me. He was the reason I suddenly came to accept my life in Forks, the reason I liked Forks.

Still, his numbers one and three of his top twenty confused me. I wondered why his were so simple. Mine were all so important to me. How could a discussion where we were at each other's throats be important? Edward had never made sense to me. His manners, his posture, the way he spoke suddenly reminded me of Gone With the Wind or another old movie. But I liked that. It made me feel so comfortable instead of anxious like I usually did with teenage boys I grew close to so quickly.

On my way to Gym, I called Charlie to ask if he could call the school so I would be allowed to leave school early. He quickly agreed once I said I wanted to drive down to La Push and visit Jacob. But that was no surprise because it seemed almost like he wanted me to date Jake. I laughed at the thought. I could never date Jake. He wasn't that much younger than me, but he seemed like such a child to me. I guess I saw him in the way Edward saw me.

I made the drive to La Push in fifteen minutes. Billy answered the door. I guessed Charlie called to warn him I was coming when Billy went as far as to hug me. I hadn't expected that or anything near it. "Jake's outside in the garage," he told me once I straightened up. "Just follow the path."

I smiled and trudged back to the garage. I could hear Jacob working before I made it there. He was unaware of my presence, so I watched him work for a few more minutes. "So you've made a ton of progress," I said, grinning. "She looks great!" I pointed over my shoulder towards the house with my thumb. "Billy said you were out here. Sorry if I broke your concentration."

"No. No. I thought you didn't get out until later though."

"Left early," I explained, joining him on the floor. "Do I get to help or just watch?"

"You can hand me tools and parts. But, uh, do you know anything about that?" he asked me. "You might not find it very fun anyway. It's a guy thing."

I nodded, but it was filled with obvious sarcasm. "Yeah, I guess it's kind of like football. All guy thing, ya know? Luckily my brother likes cars and footballs," I replied, handing him a wrench before he could ask for it. "Good enough? Or is there a bigger test?"

Jacob laughed. He went onto explain what he was doing, but I didn't understand any of it. I thought he was doing it on purpose to impress me--or maybe just confuse me. And he was doing a very good job at both!

Once he finished telling me the process of building an engine, we moved onto what I knew--Los Angeles. The more we talked, the more I missed home. I missed everything about it. I had never gone so long without seeing Michael. He was probably bursting to tell me about Valentine's Day. We had exchanged emails since I moved to Forks, but it wasn't the same thing. Michael was in his freshman year of high school. My freshman year was a Hell on earth! For multiple reasons. Luckily Michael fit in better in LA than I did, but I missed driving him home, listening to his daily report before we went our separate ways until curfew (which Charlie managed to enforce from Forks since Mom didn't care when we came home as long as she knew where we were).

I spent hours watching Jake. He worked so hard, and he got a lot done. After I didn't know the names for the two different screw driver and handed him the wrong one, he "fired" me. But I didn't mind. He worked just as fast without me, and it was fun to watch how he worked by himself.

"So you build cars. Any other hobbies?" I inquired, handing Jake his fourth soda since I arrived.

"Driving them," he answered, and we laughed together.

"As long as you don't wreck it, you can take a spin in my Acura," I told him.

"Nah. I'd wreck it," he admitted. "Or I guess the possibility that I would is too big. Those cost like $50,000, ya know? I couldn't pay for the damage."

"What if I drove and you just mess with the GPS and the radio?" I suggested. "We could drop Billy off at my place to entertain Charlie and go catch a movie in Port Angeles. I'll pay."

"What movie?"

"The one with Liam Neeson. One of my friends said it was really good. We could go see anything though if you want to see something else."

"Sure, sounds awesome! But you might want to keep trap of Charlie's plans better after tonight. He's coming over here tonight," Jake replied with a cheesy grin.

I laughed. Soon, I heard Charlie's cruiser park out by the road. It was later than I thought--six already! I ran behind Jacob to greet him. "Should we flip a coin to see who tells him?" Jacob asked me, and I slipped in the mud from surprise, and barely caught myself with some help from Dad.

"Tell me what?" Charlie asked, steadying me with a hand on my arm.

"We were gonna go see a movie. That okay?" I said, shooting a glare at Jacob for making it sound like it was a date. But Dad seemed just as pleased. He liked Jacob and would probably encourage me to date the one boy in town he trusted. But it wasn't going to happen. Jacob reminded me way too much of Michael.

"Yeah, yeah, have fun. Stay out as late as you want. But can you stop by the grocery story on the way home? We're almost completely out of food," Dad answered.

I nodded, taking the money from him. I hung out in my car while Jake showered and clanged into some clean clothes. He changed faster than anyone I'd ever seen before. Like I suggested, he played with my radio most of the time we were on the road. He added the theater's address to my GPS system--even though I already knew the way. He also added his address, which I took as an invitation to come back sometime. Then he moved onto my iPod and shifted through all my music. He chose All American Rejects and turned it all the way up. But I didn't mind. I liked it that way. Loud, so loud you couldn't think.

The movie entertained us, but it flew by. We stopped at the Thriftway on the way back to La Push. Dad's cruiser was still at Billy's when I dropped Jake off, but I excused myself to go home and put groceries away.

The house was completely black when I got there. That made me uneasy. I unlocked the door and stepped inside though, three bags in each hand, and two in my teeth. I switched on the lights, set every ting on the table, and turned to go get the rest.

I jumped, covering my mouth to stop the scream. Then I burst into laughter. "Don't ever do that again!" I snapped.

Edward grinned at me. "Sorry." He raised his hands to show he had the rest of the bags. "Thought you could use some help," he told me, putting them on the counter.

"Thanks. Um... How... did you know when I would get back? Did you follow me again?"

"No. Not this time." He grinned, as if he expected me to find what he said next amusing. "I watched the house." He glanced out the windows into the darkness then. "I missed school today and wanted to see how you were feeling." He smiled at me again.

I had completely forgotten about my case of Mono! But now that he mentioned it, I felt a thousand times better. Maybe Jacob had super powers too. Healing powers because I felt as healthy as ever. "I'm good," I told him, returning the smile. "The days off helped a lot. More than you would know, but you might want to get out of here before Charlie comes home. He's convinced you gave it to me," I explained.

Edward nodded. "Yeah, Carlisle told me."

I blushed immediately. "He did?" I groaned, which only made Edward laugh.

"Don't worry about it. I couldn't have given it to you anyway."

"Already had it?"

"No."

"Master immune system come along with the ability to read minds?" I inquired with a smile. I started to put the groceries away. Edward could explain while I worked, but he seemed uncomfortable letting me work without at least offering to help.

"No. Well, that's part of the reason I can't get it. But I never drank out of the water I gave you in Port Angeles when we went to dinner."

I suddenly realized what he meant. He thought I blamed him too, just in a different way. "No, I know," I told him quickly. "Carlisle said I got it before I even came here. Probably true."

"Have you eaten anything yet?"

A sudden change of subject, but Edward seemed to be able to read all the signs of hunger before I even realized how hungry I was. "Um... Popcorn," I answered honestly with a pathetic cringe. "And a box of candy at the movie. I'll eat in a while. You hungry?"

"No. Thanks. I think you should finish putting the groceries and I'll make you an omelet," he suggested.

"Uh! That sounds so good right now," I admitted. "I didn't know you could cook. No wonder you don't eat the nasty food at school," I mumbled, leaning against the counter. I watched him work for a moment. "So how did the hike or whatever you did today go?" I asked quietly.

Edward glanced at me, then smiled. "It was good, enjoyable." He paused and turned to me. "Do you like to hike?"

"Um, I've gone hiking a few times, yeah, In Colorado."

"Could I persuade you to come on a hike with me tomorrow then?" he asked, and I knew he was serious. He was asking me to come on a _hike. _Not exactly my best talent, but it was something to do on a Saturday.

"What time?" I asked finally, staring at his hands as he put my omelet on a plate.

"Eight?"

My surprise must have given it away. _I was not a morning person. _Especially not on the weekends. "Is nine any better? I mean, it's a long hike," Edward said.

I shook my head. "No, eight is fine. But I might be in a bad mood until like... one," I warned jokingly.

"That's fine," he replied, and handed me my plate. "I'll see you at eight tomorrow." Before I could ask where to meet him, he was gone as fast as he'd come. I stared at the space where he formerly stood, plate in hand and an annoyed look on my face. _He left dirty dishes in my kitchen. _


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Even though Edward didn't do the dishes, I wasn't angry and I understood only seconds later. The cruiser pulled into the drive. The omelet was delicious, like the ones you paid forty dollars for at home. I devoured the whole thing before Charlie made it to the door.

"Hey, Dad!" I called, starting to rinse the dishes. It was so easy--no mess at all. "Have fun with Billy?"

"Yeah, what'd you do to Jake though? Never seen him so tired before. Didn't even want to watch the rest of the game with us," Dad yawned.

I only smiled. "Tomorrow, is it okay if I go hiking?" I asked. "Mom told me about this place she used to go, and I wanted to see if I could find it. I'll bring my phone."

"Didn't think she still remembered that place, but sure, go ahead. Be careful and don't get lost." He kissed my head. "I'm going to bed. Night, honey."

I finished the dishes and went to bed. I was exhausted too. And I would have to get up early tomorrow. But I still didn't know how it was going to work. I didn't know where to go! And Edward couldn't come over here or Charlie would definitely shoot him. But none of that mattered for some reason. An hike with Edward Cullen sounded good. It sounded _fun. _

Despite my excitement, I fell asleep quickly. My first thought in the morning was if hiking was considered a heavy activity or not, but Edward probably wouldn't have invited me if it was, so I quickly got ready. I wore my thick souled boots in case there were thorns, but I had no clue what to expect. I had no idea whatsoever.

On my way out of my room, I grabbed my camera and stuffed it into my coat pocket. But no one could know what Edward planned in my situation. I didn't know if my camera would be needed or wanted, but I was prepared just in case.

The cruiser was gone, and in its place was Edward's Volvo and he was standing, ready to open my door. I paused to lock the front door. "I thought we were going on a hike," I said as he closed my door behind me.

Edward grinned. "We are," he replied. "But I didn't think you wanted to walk twenty-five miles there before we got to where the trail actually starts. I'm open to it though if you really want to."

"Cute," I muttered. "But this is fine."

Edward sped over to a part of Forks I had never seen before, but that only made me more curious. The scenery was so green and beautiful! He parked on the shoulder once the road ended. I stepped out before he could open my door for me. "So where are we?" I asked, looking at trees as tall as the sky. Mountains in the distance, and the sound of a river nearby. It didn't even seem like Forks anymore.

"Just outside Forks," he answered, a gently hand on my back as we started to walk. I knew he could have walked much faster, but he worked at my pace instead.

Our climb started out flat, but I guessed our destination was somewhere in the distant mountains. One of the closer mountains hopefully. We didn't need conversation. Who would? The nature was beautiful, and Edward's face was breath-taking. I could feel his ice cold hands as he held mine, even though I wore thick gloves. He helped me through the trees and it always seemed like we took the easiest path, even if it made our hike longer.

It must have taken at least an hour before we got to the base of the first mountain. It was steeper than it looked. Edward busied himself with something else while I stared up the mountain, wondering what kind of beauty could be seen at the top that couldn't be seen anywhere else in the forest. But I heard the river rushing on the other side and had a few guesses.

"You tired yet?" Edward asked.

I shook my head, but he picked me up anyway. I was surprised by his strength. I had never been heavy, but I was at least one-oh-five. He carried me as if I weighed nothing at all. An uphill climb with me on his back, but he didn't even seem to notice.

"We have to hike back down too," he told me with a grin. His pace quickened only a fraction. He kept his eyes on the ground and his hair was in my face, but it smelled good, and I didn't mind. On the climb, I saw birds of all sorts that I had never seen before, deer, squirrels. I had never been much of an outdoors person, but this was different. It was so serene. The animals weren't even disturbed because Edward's feet made no sound. I smiled when I saw two baby deer and their mother. "So that's why you wanted to carry me," I whispered in his ear.

Edward's breath was always so calm. He didn't pant or shift my position on his back even. He left me to observe the glory without a distraction. And I didn't know how I could have enjoyed the hike more.

We came to a clearing on the top of the mountain. Hardly big enough to call a clearing. Edward set me down and took my hand. My fear of heights was forgotten. _I trusted him. _He led the way to the edge of the cliff. And the beauty was extraordinary!

The river's water looked so blue from our position a hundred feet up. Moss covered the trees and rocks in a beautiful green layer. On the other side of the river, it was raining, pouring harder than I had ever seen. But I liked the way it looked. It looked like nothing I'd seen before.

Edward stood behind me, an arm around my waist. I could have stayed like that forever with him there to make sure I didn't fall. "Is this how birds feel?" I asked, and I knew the stupidity of the question. But it made sense then. I could see the whole world, or so it felt like.

I heard Edward's small laugh. "Here, come sit down," he told me, and led the way to two rocks that were free of moss. As I sat down, I noticed a backpack leaning against one of the rocks. "You have to eat, don't you?" he asked when he saw my look.

"I forgot," I admitted. Who wouldn't? "How did you find this place. It's... unworldly!"

Edward nodded, handing me a bottle of water. "It's just a place I use to get away. This kind of beauty and life lasts forever. It's good to know one thing does in this world," he explained, and gave me a sandwich next. "Did you have a hiding place in Los Angeles?"

"I did. It was this old house about an hour outside of LA though. They said it was from around the Civil War times, but I don't know. It's abandoned now. I used to go there, just take pictures. I found something new every time."

"Speaking of pictures," he said. He pulled out one of the big digital cameras that professionals used. "This is for you."

I took it carefully. It must have cost a ton, but it was mine! I smiled at him, too happy for words. "Do I get to take some pictures of you as well as the mountains?"

"Mountains first," he told me gently. "So what's your number four?" he asked as I started to nibble on my sandwich.

My top twenty once again. "My trip to Paris. It wasn't a day. It was two weeks, but it was so much fun. It was before Mom married my step dad, Ted. She was happy for the first time in a long time." I shrugged. "She loved my dad so much more than I know, more than she could express, but she had to save herself. She didn't belong here under critical stares and glares when she adopted me, then turned up pregnant with Michael three months later. She was always criticized for the way she raised us. But they just didn't understand. She moved here a year before she met Charlie. Like us, she was a total misfit, but she couldn't work through that. And she got stuck."

"Is that how you feel--stuck?"

"No." I scratched my head as I tried to think of the best way to explain it all. "No. I don't feel _stuck. _I feel..." I sighed deeply. "I feel overwhelmed sometimes, but not stuck or imprisoned. I'm only sixteen. My dad can get by without me, and I have somewhere else to go, which my mom didn't have," I explained quietly.

"But you're going to leave here?"

"Not right away, but someday, yes. After high school, once I turn eighteen. Why?"

"I wanted to know how long I had." I didn't understand what those words meant, but it didn't matter. His face told me not to ask. I studied his expression. I reached out and took his hand. It was ice cold, but I expected it this time. I met his eyes. "Some things last longer than others," I told him softly. I gestured to the nature around us. "Like trees, mountains and so on. People don't last forever, but love does."

"What do you know about love?" he demanded, suddenly on his feet. Then he paused. He took my face in his gently. "I know I've kept secrets from you. I wish I could tell you everything, but I can't. It would ruin my family's life, and yours. But if there was anything I could do to make you happy, I would do it, and more," he leaned closer and I thought he was about to kiss me, but he stopped after his lips grazed mine. He sighed, retreating.

"No," I said, touching his face to stop him from leaving. "No. Don't go."

He kissed me once, and I could feel him shaking. "But you have to tell me if I hurt you," he whispered. "You have to help me."

I was confused, but I nodded. "I will," I promised.

His touch was so careful. He met my eyes. "Do you trust me, despite all my secrets? Don't you still wonder how I saved you from the car?"

"Adrenaline," I whispered, and we laughed. The moment was ruined, but not over. I smiled at Edward. "We all have secrets," I told him. "But sometimes it's better that way."

His fingers touched my cheek once. "Go take your pictures," he told me.

I did. I filled the entire memory card. I got everything I wanted, and more. Edward laid out a thick blanket. As I joined him, legs crossed, he pulled out the rest of the contents of the backpack. "French wine?" I inquired with a laugh, amazed. "My favorite brand too?"

Edward nodded. "Something I heard from your father. He thought something like, 'Nancy must be letting her sip that French wine again'," he told me, handing me some in a crystal glass. "I assumed Nancy was your mom." I nodded to confirm it. "Your uncle has fine taste in wine. That's how you first tasted this stuff."

I smiled. "You're right. So you don't like wine?"

Then he poured himself some. He handed me his coat when a gust of wind shot by. "So wine, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and omelets," he listed, and I laughed.

"You've told me over and over that I'm different from other girls. How?" I asked, sipping my wine.

"There's more to you than the latest fashion and if your jeans make you look fat. Your bedroom floor isn't covered in magazines. You read _books. _Classics. You're... You care what other people think about you, but you try not to let it get to you. You're _smart. _You've tasted fame, but you didn't let it get to your head. You don't spend hours in front of the mirror on the morning. You can laugh at yourself. You're mature in this really childish way. The list goes on forever. Do I get to ask a question in return?" he asked then.

I shrugged.

"What was the most defining day of your life?"

I frowned thoughtfully. "Will you settle for the second most defining?" I replied, and he shrugged. "A school shooting last year. Nineteen were killed. Twelve of them were my friends. It took me six months to feel okay again, and even now I'm not so sure," I explained. I turned around, pulling my hair out of the way so he could see the simple tattoo on the back of my neck. "Remembered," I said quietly. That's what my tattoo said. "In memory of the nineteen, that day, and every other loved one who passed away."

"So you wear them on your neck forever?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Do you not like tattoos or something?"

"No, that's not it. I just thought you would like to move on after an experience like that."

"I did move on. It's just so that I never forget. You can remember something without dwelling on it," I told him, glancing around our new hiding place.

Edward was silent then. I finished my glass of wine and laid down next to him. It was sunset already! Our hike had taken longer than I thought it would. I used Edward's arm as a pillow as we watched the stars slowly appear. He cradled me with his other arm. I felt so safe there. Not unstoppable or cocky. Just safe because I had no doubt he would do anything to make me happy and he would be there to save me if anything happened.

I glanced at Edward. He was smiling. I kissed his cheek once, but once again, the moment was ruined. By the vibrate of my phone this time. I snatched it from my pocket. "Dad, hi," I answered, cringing at Edward and rolling out of his arms. I switched on speaker phone.

"Where are you?" Dad asked. Not angry. Just worried.

"I'm on my way home actually," I lied. "Sorry. I lost track of time."

"Be safe."

"Yeah, I will. See you in a bit. Bye." I hung up and Edward quickly packed up everything. I smiled, which broke into a laugh. "Well, I guess we should hurry back."

Edward laughed then. "That won't be a problem." He put me on his back again, backpack in his hand. He ran all the way back, and that amazed me. It was smooth and beautiful as the trip there was. The stars made time seem endless. I loved that! I wanted time to be endless. I wanted to be sixteen forever. That was what I had always wanted.

He made the run in ten minutes. He drove me to the last turn before my street. I met his eyes as he slowed to a stop. "Thank you for everything," I told him quietly.

"No, thank you," he replied. He kissed me so gently, and I smiled. "For trusting me."

I nodded because I knew I would see him Monday. But I couldn't leave. "I don't want to go," I mumbled, meeting his eyes. "I wish I could stay longer."

Edward frowned, and he knew how I felt. "Okay, go home and make dinner for your dad. I'll see you in your room."

"What? In my room? But, Edward--"

He kissed me again, cutting me off. "Do you trust me still?"

"Yes, of course!"

"So I'll see you in your room in an hour."

I nodded then, and stepped out of his car. I smiled, eyes closed, and started home at a jog. Charlie was on the couch when I walked in. "Hey," I greeted, shedding my coat. " Sorry I was gone so long. You want anything specific for dinner?"

"Anything's fine," Charlie mumbled.

An hour. One whole hour, and it was late. Dad was probably starving. "Steak okay?" I called from the kitchen, but he only grunted. Steak and mashed potatoes. It took long enough to make to still give me time to clean up, but it wouldn't leave me with any extra time or minimum extra time. I took the time to eat with Dad before I showered and changed into my old sweats. The hour still wasn't over though, so I grabbed my book--_To Kill a Mockingbird, _by Harper Lee.

The trial was just starting. I read only four pages before Edward arrived. I didn't know where he came from, but then he stood at the end of my bed. He tossed my new camera onto my bed. "You forgot it," he to me with a smile. He sat on my bed, took my book, and opened it. "Mm, good book," he commented.

I nodded. "How did you know where my room was?"

Edward frowned, like he didn't realize that I hadn't told him which room was mine. Then he shrugged. "I don't sleep much," he started, watching my face for any reaction. "I come here to watch you sleep."

I smiled because I didn't expect his reply to be lik that. His honesty was amazing! I had never met anyone so honest before. "You watch me sleep? Okay, so do I snore or talk in my sleep or anything?" I asked.

"No. Well, you did say something once. But I like it because it's so peaceful." He sat with my back to his chest, like he didn't want me to see his face. "You said my name. I never knew what to think about you. When you said my name, I wanted to figure you out. So I pushed harder and last Saturday, I think I got a few answers. But it was enough."

I smiled at him, resting the back of my head against his muscular shoulder. "You still confuse me, but when I saw the way you looked at me when you saved me from the car. And then the look in your eyes the next night and the way you listened to me, I was shocked. To be completely honest. But it was a good change. I appreciate it."

Edward moved out from behind me. He shifted to my whole wall of books. He ran his finger along the shelf that was at his eye level, reading the titles out loud. He finished and examined the rest of my room. My door and closet were along one wall. By the door was my dresser and my mirror. My door had a map of LA on it, labeled with my home and other important places, postcards, and pictures of my closest friends. Then my bed, night stand, and desk were on the wall to the left after you walked in. The desk was slanted in the corner. Posters covered my walls. My window was on the far wall and the rest was empty, but I planned to cover it with cork board and put up all my memories in Forks. My bookshelf was the last wall. Full of CDs, books, and a few movies.

Edward smiled when he looked back at me. "Your collection of books is impressive. Have you read all of these?"

I nodded. "At least once. Some more," I answered, joining him as he looked over the contents of my desk. My laptop, my picture album, a lamp, and a stack of old CDs I hadn't put away yet. One of my iPods was plugged into my computer.

Edward smiled."Good, nice collectionof classicals. Back, Mozart," he read. "Ennio Morricone too. Hans Zimmer. You've got a thing for good composers."

"Mmhmm," I mumbled. "They help me think. My collection of soundtracks are all important." I tapped my massive CD case full of soundtracks I liked. "It's like a hundred CDS, all soundtracks to my life," I told him with a grin. "For each of my moods, all kinds of stuff. You can look through my playlist of you want. Pick something to listen to if you want. Dad's probably gonna sleep on the couch. He'll get suspicious if he doesn't hear some kind of music. "

"Mm. You've got good taste," he replied, switching on my laptop. "Never thought you would like Beethoven when you pulled into school listening to rap."

I laughed, opening my book again. I leaned against the wall, the pillows cushioning it. Edward sat on my chair and opened iTunes. I read and he looked through all my music. I could tell which artists he liked because he said them out loud. "There's a bunch of blank CDs in the bottom left drawer if you want to burn some," I told him between paragraphs.

"You have some great piano pieces on here."

I nodded. "Three instruments I like most are piano, guitar, and cello. I love piano. Back home, I have a grand piano in my room. Mom got it for me. When I go home for spring break, I'll get some pictures for you if you wanna see."

Edward grabbed my new camera and put the pictures I took on my computer. I watched him look through them. He smiled when I moved to stand behind him. "Those are good," He told me. "I like the one where you were laughing. You look really nice."

"In the picture or now?" I joked.

"Oh, both!"

I returned to my bed. "How did you find that place you took me to today?" I asked. I sat cross-legged, facing him as he continued to look through all my pictures. "Do you explore a lot?"

Edward nodded. "It helps me think. I like peaceful things, like nature. You make everything more peaceful. It's really soothing actually. Sometimes, it's frustrating that I can't hear your thoughts, but sometimes, like now, I'm glad. It makes it easier to think. One less person screaming at me. One more thing I like about you and you don't even know."

"I can't control it," I muttered, looking down at my book. I read a few more paragraphs and then Beethoven's Second started playing in the background. I smiled. "Nice choice," I commented, and returned to my book. "There's a piano version too instead of the full orchestra," I told him.

"No. I like this. It's good." He moved onto my bed then, and grabbed my bottle of pills from the night stand. "Anti-depressants? What for?"

I snatched them out of his hand and put them on my desk. "Long story," I mumbled. "I only take them on bad days though. They never helped Mom after the divorce, so I never thought they would help me. Not like I'm taking them consistently enough for them to really do a good job, but they help a little."

"Sorry," Edward whispered, and I looked over my shoulder at him. "I didn't mean to upset you."

I shook my head. "No. It's okay. I'm just touchy about it sometimes. I guess people misunderstand the whole thing sometimes."

"People are like that," Edward replied, opening my picture album. I didn't see it as being nosey or rude because he glanced at me several times to see if I had any objections. I didn't. I explained what each picture was of. "Who's this?" he asked, pointing to a picture.

"Michael the day he was born. There's one of me and my biological parents in the back from the day I was born. One of me and Charlie when we first 'met'. Mom went crazy with the camera she got for her birthday that year. She took pictures of everything. She has an album of this house when they first bought it. It's almost exactly the same. Only rooms that have changed are mine and Michael's. Mine more than his."

"You miss him." It wasn't a question.

I nodded anyway. "Like hell," I mumbled. "In my house, it was kind of backwards. Mom needed the support. I gave it to her, and Michael helped. She had her own, unique way of parenting. It was affective, just different."

"So would you say you're more like your mom or your dad?"

"Probably my dad. I like to be alone a lot. I love sports and the outside. My mind works a lot like his does. But I'm a city girl too. Like my mom. I love the city!"

"So Seattle? Olympia?"

I nodded. "Yeah, my best friend wanted to fly up for a weekend and go shopping with me."

Our topics shifted from subject to subject until I realized it was after four in the morning. I wasn't tired, but Edward demanded that I sleep. I told him only if he stayed with me. It wasn't how it sounded though. I would sleep late since I felt exhausted, but I wanted to know he would be there when I woke up. He promised to stay as long as he could and come back tomorrow once Charlie was gone.

I curled up into a ball. One pillow under my head, the others surrounding it. Only my blanket separated myself and Edward. He was watching me, and I knew it, even with my eyes closed. "Grab a book and read. Don't look at me or I'll never be able to sleep," I mumbled. I felt the bed shift slightly when he got up to pick out a book. I refused to open my eyes to see which book he picked out, and I wondered why he never ate or slept. It confused me, but I was too tired to spend another night thinking about the past. No, not that night. Edward Cullen laid next to me, ankles crossed, Beethoven playing softly, and a book open. But when he set the book aside, I was still awake. He put a pillow between us so his freezing skin wouldn't touch my side or be felt through the blanket, and put an arm around me. Quietly, he started to hum a lullaby. I had never heard it before. And I fell asleep, listening to his voice.


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Edward Cullen's face was the last thing I saw when I fell asleep and the first thing I saw when I woke up. I had my head on his chest and he had an arm around me. I kept my breathing even so Edward wouldn't know I was awake. He rubbed my back softly, and I smiled--I couldn't stop it. I opened my eyes, chewing on my lip, and glanced up at Edward's painfully beautiful face. He was grinning, on the edge of laughter.

"What?" I asked, sitting up to get a better look at him. I pushed my hair out of my face. "What's so funny?"

"You're hopeless when it comes to pretending to be asleep. I'm sorry if I made you angry though," Edward told me, grabbing my hand. He kissed it because I wouldn't lean in so he could kiss my lips.

"What's wrong with it?" I inquired, ready to learn the secrets if it meant I could trick Edward.

Edward shrugged. "Your breathing changed just slightly. Not enough for most people to notice, but when you've been listening to it all night, it's not hard to hear." He smiled, squeezing my hand gently. "And you were trying not to smile."

I grinned and laid down next to him. I closed my eyes again. It was 2:30 in the afternoon. A rainy Sunday, but a beautiful one. Edward tried to pull me closer, and I shook my head self-consciously. "Mm... I have morning breath," I said stubbornly, refusing to move. "Give me a little bit and I'll be back."

Edward didn't let go of my hand though. "What do you want for breakfast?" he asked.

"Depends on what you can cook. Or did you plan to buy me something?" I inquired. His omelets were amazing, so I wondered if he could cook anything else I liked.

"Eggs? Another omelet? Anything else that sounds good right now?"

I nodded. I noticed Edward's eyes were as black as ever. He was waiting for my reply though, so I didn't have time to debate it. "My grandma's crepes with whipped cream sound awesome actually," I answered, scanning the closet from my bed to see what to wear after my shower. I glanced back at Edward. "But an omelet sounds good too!"

Edward grinned. "You know the recipe for the crepes?"

"Really?" I asked, and he nodded. I leaned over him to grab my notebook from the nightstand. I wrote it down quickly and handed the paper to him. "Can you read my writing or do I need to translate?"

"Go do whatever you were planning to do. They'll be ready by the time you come downstairs." Edward rolled off my bed, and out of my arms. I was amazed that he kissed me, despite my morning breath. He didn't even cringe! In fact, he paused--temptation? But he left before I was ready, and there was nothing more. I sneered after him childishly and threw one of my pillows at the door after he left. I heard him laugh on his way downstairs.

I was anxious to see how my crepes turned out. I showered, dressed, brushed my teeth and hair all in half an hour--my record. I ran downstairs and Edward greeted me with a plate. I accepted it. He sat across from me at the table in one of the three mismatched chairs. I cut up my crepes quickly. They were better than my old Grandma Martha made, better than when Mom made them, better than when I did.

"Mm! These are amazing!" I exclaimed. I wondered why Edward's cooking was so good. A secret ingredient? Or maybe just skill in the kitchen. But I wanted to know his secret.

Edward grinned as I devoured the crepes faster than I had the omelet. Once I finished, I regretted eating them so fast for two reasons. One, they were gone before I had time to truly enjoy them. And two, my stomach was full. I tucked my knees under my chin and looked out the window into the rain. The neighbors across the street's two children were outside, playing.

I knew they were eight and ten. Charlie always had a few problems with them since they moved in. I babysat them once when I was thirteen, and it was horrible. They didn't do one thing they were told. In the two weeks I was in Forks, I was surprised Charlie hadn't been called over to break up a fight. I saw their usual weapons though--toy swords--which were actually made of oak tree branches. I remembered being hit by one several times over the two hour period I babysat.

I raised an eyebrow and turned to Edward. He smiled. "So what do you plan to do today?" he asked.

"It's raining. Nothing to do outside. I have loads of homework to catch up on," I mumbled, disgusted with my disappointment that the rain wouldn't let up for once, and then I smiled. "Charlie's been expecting me to do the laundry and all too. I sort of need to do that before he starts thinking there's something going on."

"Ah. Can't he do it himself? What'd he do when you lived with your mom?"

I laughed. "His friend's wife, Sue Clearwater, used to come over once a week to help. But she has kids of her own. She doesn't need anymore work to do. And I don't mind. I always helped Mom back home."

Edward fell silent and we both stared out the window. He was watching my neighbors, as was I. And it was hard not to watch them. I was somehow surprised Charlie hadn't been called to break up their sword fight already.

I jumped when my cell phone--which was on the counter--rang. I grabbed it from my chair. "Hi, Mom!" I answered, so Edward could know who I was talking to. I switched it onto speaker phone.

"Oh, honey, you sound so grown up," Mom said, crying.

I smiled at Edward. "What's going on at home, Ma?"

"Oh, nothing. Sunday afternoon. Michael's out with Katy--"

"Girlfriend," I mounted at Edward.

"You're in Forks with Charlie. Timberlee, I miss you so much! How do you like Forks? Is it raining? How do you like school? Do you have a lot of homework? Are they being nice? Any boyfriend yet? Friends?"

She was finally finished! "Forks is okay, not as bad as I thought. Yes, it's raining. Didn't rain too much yesterday though. School is pretty good, different and a tenth of school at home--in LA, I mean. I have a few papers do, five questions, and some reading, but it's all easy. Boys, um..." I cleared my throat. "I have lots of friends there. Some are awesome!"

"No, no, no! What about boys?" Mom asked.

I glanced at Edward, who looked expectant. "Are you gonna tell Dad?"

"No," Mom said quickly.

"Okay, there's one. He's great. Extremely handsome. Tall, really strong, sweet, polite, always a gentleman. Um... Charming, the perfect Romeo. Just perfect in general!" I said, self-conscious because Edward was there, grinning at me.

"Describe him. Rate him on a scale from one to ten. One being worst."

"Well, he's tall like I said, long hair, but it's always perfect, never a hair out of place. Pale, dark eyes--at the moment," I muttered so Edward was the only one who could hear me. "Excellent sense of style too."

"Rate him. Personality first, then looks."

I shrugged at Edward. "Oh. That's easy. Hundred and ten on both counts," I answered, smiling. "He's a great cook too. Wish you could meet him."

"I want to meet him. What's the most romantic thing he's done so far?"

"Well, it's probably really weird sounding. But it's really the most romantic thing anyone could do. He listens to every word I say, and could repeat it word for word six months later," I answered. "He's really great, Ma."

"Oh!" Mom cried, making the single syllable last at least thirty seconds. "I'm so happy for you! I wish I could hug you right now. Is he the reason you like Forks?"

I frowned thoughtfully. The answer was obvious. At least to me and Edward. "He's most of it. But there's actually something really nice about Forks. I miss home a lot too, and I miss you."

"Aw, I miss you too. What's his name?"

"Edward." And he grinned at the way I said his name.

"Are you two being safe?"

"Mom!"

"Oh, come on, honey. This is your mother. I want to know the details. Or are you suddenly--"

"Mom, I have to go," I interrupted, embarrassed. "I'll talk to you later. Edward got me a new camera, so I'm gonna go take a bunch of pictures for you. I'll be coming home for spring break, and I'll bring them then, I promise."

"I would rather you bring the boy. I do still have to approve of him."

"Yeah, I know. Love you tons, Ma. I miss you just as much," I said, covering my face with my free hand so Edward couldn't see how deep my blush was. Mom would have loved to take credit for introducing me to Edward, but she would blame the boy if we broke up after she said something like that. Even if she didn't know Edward was listening, she didn't need to say it.

"I love you, honey! Be good and tell Edward I said hello."

I reached across the table to cover Edward's mouth because I wasn't sure what his grin meant. I thought he was about to say hello. "I will," I promised, and Mom hung up first. I groaned, clearing the table to get away from Edward's look. I rinsed my plate. Edward came up behind me when I turned off the water. He had his arms around my waist. "You don't have to be embarrassed," he told me gently. "I wasn't there, remember?"

I spun around and buried my face in his chest. I felt like crying. "Thanks," I mumbled into his hard chest. "That's my mom all right. Can't live with her or without her. Love her to death, and she means well."

Edward nodded. "I know. She really cares. More than you know or I know. Her voice shows it," he explained, rubbing my back. He smiled at him. "And you're beautiful when you're embarrassed," he admitted quietly, like he was afraid I would slap him. Any other guy I would have, but not Edward.

So I laughed after a quick glare. "Oh, gosh."

"So what do you want to do today? Anything other than clean?"

"I'm open to suggestions," I told him.

"I want to take you to Port Angeles. My sister, Alice, doesn't let us wear the same clothes twice. She got mad at me for letting you wear the same shirt twice. To make her happy, and to save you from cleaning, I thought we could go to Port Angeles. And I got the idea you liked shopping. But it's only a suggestion. I completely understand if you like cleaning more."

I smacked his chest to make him realize what a stupid question that was. He grinned at me. "Are you serious?" I inquired suspiciously.

"I'll warm up the car," Edward volunteered. "The Acura, right?"

I laughed. "My keys are upstairs. I'll throw them down while I get my coat and--"

"No, no, I'll save you the trouble. Write your dad a note while I get your coat and whatever you were about to say."

"Shoes and purse," I told him with a smile. I watched him go upstairs as I grabbed the notepad next to the phone. Dad wouldn't mind a trip to Port Angeles as long as he knew where I was. I tossed the notepad aside when I finished and Edward ran downstairs. He helped me into my coat. He also grabbed my scarf too, which was impressive because I usually wore that coat with that scarf. I took my shoes and gave him my keys. My old pair of Vans, signed by all my friends back home. Mom used to joke about framing them, but they were too important. I continued to cover them in mud because it made me feel like all my friends were with me when I wore them, and I could remember all the pathetic jokes we made together.

I ran through the rain to the driver's side. Edward frowned at me, but he surrendered. I wanted to drive. Edward grinned as I pulled out of my parking spot. "You should speed less," I told him. "It makes the ride more enjoyable."

"For you, yes," Edward replied.

"Oh, well, you're a boy. Michael just wants to drive so he can take his girlfriend out and speed."

Edward nodded. "I get to drive you home in that case."

I shrugged as a sign of surrender. "Fine, but last I checked, I'm the one with the car. So then after you drive me home, I will drive you home, and turn around and drive myself home again."

Edward laughed. "Nah, I'll walk. How else do you think I changed my clothes last night?"

I glanced at him and realized he had changed. "You left!" I yelled, and slapped his arm angrily. "Why'd you leave me?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I had to. One of your neighbors saw me arrive. Wouldn't want them to think I slept over if you get my hint," Edward replied. "Plus your dad comes in every morning when he gets up to check on you. That would probably have been worse if he caught me in your bed, watching you sleep and you totally unaware of it."

"Oh... Thanks then," I mumbled.

Edward nodded. "You're welcome." He pulled my camera out of my purse. I tried to pretend I didn't notice as he snapped several pictures of me. "I'm going to get a scrap book too," he announced with a smile. "You and your photography. I want to make a whole scrap book of us together. And then another for your mom. I'm sure she'll appreciate it."

"Appreciate it?" I repeated. "She'd love you forever! Her point in life is to marry me off before I'm twenty-five."

"She shouldn't worry about it. With a girl as pretty as you, you won't have any problems finding a husband, no matter how old you are."

"Thanks. Mom would like to hear it. She's been trying to find me a husband since age four."

"Sounds like my family. They're all ready to find someone for me."

"Because Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett?" I asked.

Edward nodded. "That's part of it, a lot of it. Alice seems to think now is the time. She never says it, but she thinks it."

"Can your family read minds too?"

"No, that's just me."

"Am I the only person whose mind you can't read? Or is it just rare? Not like a one person thing?"

"It's just you."

"So what's wrong with me?"

Edward laughed. "I tell you I can read minds, and you think you're the one with the problem," he pointed out with a gentle smile. I appreciated it because I felt truly crazy at that point. He touched my cheek. It killed me when he did that. I loved the way he made me feel. There was no fear, and I liked that.

To me, being fearless wasn't being without fear. It was living despite fears. Edward made every aspect of my life fearless and that was something I'd never felt before. Mom had always teased me about my paranoia. Still, with my bad luck, being cautious was probably a good thing rather than a bad thing, even if Mom could never understand it.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asked.

I glanced at him. "Fear," I told him, and explained my view on being fearless. It took most of the drive to Port Angeles, but I didn't mind and neither did Edward. We both got to know each other better and it wasn't one sided or invasive in anyway. Edward wasn't just getting to know me from what he could hear in my mind either. I got to hear his replies. We got to laugh together. It was a deep conversation with meaning. It wasn't a pointless conversation.

Edward had fears. Fear of hurting me was one. He wanted me to help him, and I was trying to. I knew one of his fears, but he worked with it. I didn't know why he was scared of hurting me. He had always been so gentle and kind. He knew some of my fears too. I never announced them, but they were obvious. My fears didn't control my life, but they affected it, and I didn't care if they showed through when I was with Edward.

Edward had me park in front of a small Chinese food restaurant where we would eat. I put my purse over my shoulder and he put his arm around me. I smiled as we started down the road in the pouring rain. It wasn't very cold, but the rain with a small amount of wind made it feel twice as cold as it was.

We walked two blocks with an arm around each other. I smiled at Edward. He had an arm around my shoulders. I had completely forgotten about my earlier embarrassment from Mom's comment on the phone. He and I were the center of attention. Mostly Edward, but he wasn't basking in the glory. He was watching me sort through the aisles of clothes. He didn't notice the whispers or the flirtatious giggles.

"Pick me out an outfit, Edward," I told him. "Hottest thing you can find."

Edward grinned. "Ah, so I get to see my lady in the perfect outfit," he said.

"Yes, but don't call me 'your lady'. Reminds me of a Miley Cyrus song. Call me anything else. But it has to be completely original. No copying."

"Okay, you're on. By the end of our shopping trip, I'll have the perfect nickname for you." Edward gave me the sexiest look I'd ever seen. It made me want to grab him and make out, but he moved to find me the perfect outfit first. I smiled to myself, wishing Edward wasn't so fast when he move onto do something.

He returned with a pair of skinny jeans in my size, a black sweater, and a leather jacket. I took the hangers from him to examine the three pieces. "So you like me in black?" I asked, smiling.

Edward nodded. "Yes, ma'am! Brings out your eyes. Big, beautiful, green eyes," he explained.

I smiled. No one had ever noticed my eyes before. Listening was romantic, but noticing my eyes was above and beyond. After I finished absorbing the moment, I looked down at the clothes. "Any other colors you like me in?" I inquired.

"Yellow. It makes your skin look brighter than normal. Blue makes your hair look a little red, and it makes your eyes just pop." He mentioned everything he needed to, but he never had to. He had me before then. My eyes, my skin, my hair. I wondered if there was anything he didn't notice. He smiled gently. "And brown looks great too," he mentioned as if he thought his list wasn't good enough for me.

"Do you want me to try these on then?" I asked.

Edward nodded. My arms were full of clothes I picked out, but Edward had excellent taste! He knew what I would like. The leather jacket was extremely warm, and I knew why Edward picked the more expensive one. He must've seen me shivering. I appreciated it, and he was right. Black did bring out my eyes. Mom told me that constantly.

We probably spent two hours in that store. Edward carried my bags to my car where we locked them in the trunk and went inside to eat. It wasn't the typical Chinese restaurant. Edward asked for a private table. There was actually a waiter. I smiled at him pleasantly. "What can I get you to drink?" the waiter asked.

"I think I'll just have some water," I replied.

"Two waters," Edward said. "So what do you want to eat."

"Egg roles, chicken fried rice," I answered with a grin. "Shopping makes me hungry"

"Good. You could stand to gain a few pounds. You're too skinny. Order whatever you want. Fortune cookies and all," he told me with my favorite crooked grin.

I ordered enough for both of us, but I was the only one who ate. "So how come your top twenty seems so simple? Mine are all so special."

"Mine are too, but I guess I just haven't had a lot of big moments in my life," Edward explained. "What's your number six?"

"A weekend trip to Colorado. We went dog sledding, shopping, hiking, skiing," I answered, wondering why he had such an interest in my top twenty. "Mom and Michael were both there. It was really nice. So much fun."

"And what number is this?"

"That you'll never know," I replied, taking another cup of water from the waiter.

"Okay. So what don't I know about you?"

"Lots of things. I speak fluent French, Spanish, German, and a little Italian. Anything else you need to know or is that enough for tonight?"

"No. That's fine for now."

I knew there was nothing better than the time I spent with Edward. He was my knight in shining armor. He was perfect! IT wasn't like my other boyfriends, and I was glad. Changes had been made in me. I didn't mind this change. It just happened. There was no unneeded thoughts put into the equation and nothing unnecessary was said. It all had a purpose.

Edward froze then, and I followed more as a reflex. "I'm sorry, but I have to go now," he announced suddenly.

I frowned. "Are you okay? Do you need a ride some place?"

"No." He pulled out the money for the food and set it on the table. "No. You just stay here and have fun. I'll see you tomorrow."

I jumped up. "No, Edward, don't do this."

"I have to, Timberlee. Please understand. I'm not trying to hurt you. But I have to go. I'm sorry."

"You misunderstood. I meant don't be mad at yourself and don't try to deny it because I know you are! I can tell. I promised to help, and if this is how I have to help, I'll do it as long as you promise me you won't beat yourself up."

"Okay." Edward grabbed me then, kissed me more passionately than ever, and left quickly. I watched him go before I glanced down at the money. Edward left me a hundred dollars, way more than I needed. I didn't know if he did it on purpose or not, but I wanted to know that Edward was okay. I wanted to be sure I wasn't hurting him somehow. He always seemed to be in pain whenever he was with me. I was too, but I didn't think it was the same kind of pain.

My waiter returned to ask if he could get me anything else. I just asked for a few doggy bags. I had lost my appetite. Dad could eat the Chinese while I did homework and called Mom again. I wanted to look at the pictures Edward took, but on my way home, I stopped at the drug store to print them off instead and get a scrap book. I wouldn't be able to sleep. I would be thinking about how he noticed my eyes. So I would work on a scrap book, hoping we would both remember that day for all the right reasons.

Yes, he left me alone in a restaurant, but he didn't want to. And I forgave him. I wasn't angry. That told me one thing. That calmed one of my fears: We could work things out without a huge fight. It told me that we could last longer than my parents did, and that meant the world to me. It was more important than anything else.

The ride home was a quiet one only because I was trying to make a list of ways to help Edward. There was only one problem with that though: _I didn't even know what the problem was. _What could I do that would truly help? I would do everything I could. I would ask him what I could do, and I would be understanding most of all. That would help. I knew that much, and it was enough for me.

In the last twenty minutes, I called Mom. Michael was home from his date finally. Ted was asleep already while Michael did his homework upstairs. Without me, Mom was without company a little too much. It made me feel bad for not calling sooner to lte her in on all the gossip, not that there was much going on in Forks lately.

"Oh, nothing. I'm driving home from Port Angeles right now," I answered when Mom asked what I was doing. "But don't worry. I'm almost home, and the traffic's not bad."

"Why didn't you ask Edward to come with you?"

I decided to leave out how Edward left me in the restaurant and the fact that he came with me in the first place. "He had something else planned already and I wanted some alone time anyway. Time to think."

"What'd you think about?" Mom asked, sounding a little too interested.

"Um... Edward mostly. He's so different from other boys, Ma. He reminds me of someone from like the 1800s or something, but he's only seventeen. There's a lot of things about him that don't make sense, but that's okay. He's worth it by far."

"Oh, honey, that's what I said about your father after our first date. Please tell me you're not jumping into this."

I turned towards home then. "I'm not, Ma. Things are moving fast, yes, but not too fast. And he's so respectful, Mom. Like he'd never do anything more than I would allow him to do. He's not like most teenage boys."

"I hope so. Would you promise me to be safe though?"

I closed my eyes in frustration as I turned off my car, finally parked outside Charlie's house. I grabbed the left overs and my purse before I stepped out into the drizzle. "Mom, we haven't done anything," I replied so Dad couldn't hear as I entered the house. "I don't think he wants to yet. And it's not in my plans anyway. Hey, Dad! Brought you some Chinese," I called.

"Who you on the phone with?" Dad asked.

"Mom."

"Tell her I said hi. Thanks for the food."

"Dad says hi, Mom," I said, heading back into the rain to get the bags out of my trunk. "Edward and I just got started. Like a day ago," I told her. "We aren't sexually active, okay? Please, stop with the grossness."

"Okay, okay, okay. I'm sorry. But we both know who Charlie would blame if you got pregnant. I'm the one whose responsible for telling you about--"

"I know, Mom. Please, stop!"

"So do you have any classes with Edward?"

"English and Biology," I answered, bursting through the door. "I sit next to him in both classes. That's how we met actually. We had a discussion about Beowulf the first day of school. He was my partner. It was a good talk, then in Biology, we butted heads a lot. But it's okay."

"You said he's seventeen? Isn't that a little old? You've never dated anyone that much older than you."

I nodded, tossing my bags aside. "Yeah, I know. But we're both juniors. And maybe that's why it's working out, Ma," I suggested. "I just want to try something different. No more players. Edward's so gorgeous. All the girls, no matter where he goes, stare at him. He doesn't even seem to notice. He's like all those guys in the movies, but he's _real. _While all those girls stare at him, he only stares at me. It's... It's like he's Romeo in February of 2009."

"I'm happy for you, honey. But I really hope you won't get hurt. Some boys like that will hurt you even worse than the others. Just be careful."

"Yeah, I will. I promise. I won't jump into anything I'm not ready for."

"Good. Be good for your dad, and drive safe in the ice. Be safe with Edward, and do well in school. I love you so much, Timberlee! Oh, I want to see you. You haven't changed much, have you? Do you part your hair differently or wear a new brand of makeup?"

I smiled. Mom loved details, even though she knew I didn't usually wear makeup. "CoverGirl like always, Ma, and I'm thinking about cutting a few inches off my hair, plus getting some bangs. What do you think?"

"No. Not bangs. But it's up to you. Just wait until you come home. I don't trust those cheap hair stylists with your gorgeous hair. I don't want them to ruin it."

"Okay, spring break then. I've gotta do homework, Ma. I love you, and I miss you. And I'll try to call sooner next time."

Mom was crying again. "Be good. I love you."

"Yeah, I love you too. Bye."


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

It was the third Monday since I moved to Forks. Edward was waiting out by my Acura when I woke up. He drove me to school. I slipped him the change from what I had spent on the Chinese food last night. "Oh! And I made you a present," I told him, remembering the scrap book. When we pulled into the parking lot where there was a smaller chance he'd wreck my car, I handed it to him. "Thought you'd like it."

Edward smiled. The first picture was of us in the clearing after our hike. He took the picture without my knowledge. I was just staring at his beautiful face, and he was smiling at me--my favorite smile. I decorated each page. The last had the picture I drew of him in Biology and a note I wrote him when I was putting together the scrap book.

He read it quickly, his face twisted as he tried not to smile, then he put it into his bag. He carried my backpack for me, his arm around my shoulders. I glanced at him uncertainly. "Everyone's staring," I pointed out.

"No, not everyone. That guy right there... Nope, he just looked."

I laughed, burying my face into his chest. He would help me if I tripped and guide me through the crowd safely. Edward and I were the center of attention. I didn't mind it though. Edward was watching me. We walked to English together where he looked through the scrap book. "Made another for Ma too," I told him, sitting sideways on my desk. "She's crazy."

"You know I've been thinking. Maybe I should go get her approval over spring break," Edward said. I thought about it before, but he saved me the trouble of inviting him.

"Are you serious? You should! I bet Ma would be out of her mind, even more so than usual."

"Mr. Banner always gives us a load of homework for any break, but I want to meet your mother. She sounds really wonderful."

I nodded. "She is. I mean, sometimes she can be a little awkward. She doesn't know when to stop talking sometimes, but she means well."

We finished Romeo and Juliet that day. I didn't understand why someone would kill themselves for someone else before. Life was so precious to me. Suicide was never an option, even at "rock bottom". What would I miss if I killed myself? Any death--or any other death besides suicide--was meant to be the end. There would be no more after that. Someone planned death, or something. Fate planned it maybe? I don't know, but my life was one I wanted to live. No matter what happened, I would fight through whatever it was. I made that promise to myself, and I knew I could keep it.

But now I had Edward. I would keep that promise, but I understood Romeo and Juliet a little better. I didn't want to live without him. I didn't know if I could, but at the same time, I didn't have to. Edward was right next to me. He wasn't going anywhere. At least not yet.

Edward met me on the way to lunch later on that day. He bought me some water and a hot dog. Hesitantly, and a little afraid, I followed him to the table where his family usually sat. I could have raised any number of objections, but it wouldn't help me any. If I couldn't get through a twenty minute lunch period with the Cullens', I definitely wouldn't be able to get through a relationship with Edward.

Alice and Jasper arrived first. Alice and I had met before, but there was no real conversation between us. Still, she ran ahead of Jasper and hugged my shoulders from behind. Her skin was as cold as Edward's, but I didn't pull away. I smiled at her.

"I know we're going to be great friends," Alice told me, sitting across from me, and Jasper followed. His posture was perfect. Military almost, but I wasn't sure. He could have just had good posture. He sat next to Alice, who started telling me how angry she was at Edward for not doting on me more.

Rosalie and Emmett arrived then. Emmett seemed exactly like the big brother I never had. He was laughing--at me obviously. I glanced at Edward for the "translation" so to speak. I didn't know what was so funny. Edward smiled. "He thinks it's funny that you slipped and hit your head when you were already about to be smashed by a car," he explained.

As I thought back on it, I realized that it was funny when you looked at it that way. Two seconds away from death and I slipped. Emmett had every reason to laugh. Even I found it amusing.

"Yeah, I guess that is pretty funny," I mumbled, watching the huge Emmett snicker about my near-death experience. "So was that some mind reading or did he tell you before?" I asked.

Emmett stopped laughing immediately. Rosalie stiffened up. While Emmett apparently restrained Rosalie, she glared at me, then Edward. I envied Edward's ability to read minds because I knew he was listening to Rosalie's thoughts. "I didn't tell her anything!" Edward snarled at Rosalie, his look a warning. "And she was--I don't have to explain anything to you."

"Timberlee, I know it's a while away," Alice started to break the tension. But Edward and Rosalie were still glaring at each other. "But can I please, please, please, plan your graduation party?"

I frowned awkwardly. Alice was graduating with me. Why couldn't she throw herself a party or Edward? Maybe it just wouldn't be as much fun that way. "Um... My mom might want to claim my graduation. But what about spring break? You can plan a party in LA for me. Mom wants to meet Edward. You, Jasper, and Emmett can come too. Rosalie too, I guess," I mumbled in annoyance. "You can plan a party then. It's sooner than graduation."

Alice reached across the table to hug me again. She sang a chorus of a total of fourteen "thank you's" before she released me. Edward leaned in, his breath tickling my neck. "You're making a mistake. She goes overboard. And I told you that you trusted people too easily," he whispered, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

I started to turn to him to reply, but Rosalie's glare stopped me laugh way. I glanced over at Edward and frowned angrily. "Um... I think I'm gonna go, Edward," I told him. "I can tell where I'm not welcome." I stood before Edward or anyone else could say anything.

"You're alive!" Mike exclaimed when he saw me approaching his table. "I was starting to miss you, and you returned just in time. Gosh, you're perfect."

I rolled my eyes and turned towards the door to leave. There was still quite a bit of lunch left, but I decided to spend the rest of it somewhere else. On my way out, I saw Edward and Rosalie arguing furiously. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett seemed to be trying to put out the fire, but it only grew worse. I didn't get to see the ending though because I hurried out into the rain again.

I wished the snow remained and that it wasn't raining for once. Usually, I liked rain, but it made me depressed that day. All I wanted to see was a little bit of sunshine if that was allowed in Forks.

Biology was next I realized in despair. Edward was going to be there. I didn't want to listen to any apologies when it wasn't even his fault. More than that, I didn't want to explain why I had been so rude. But I had to face it. Of course, Edward was waiting when I entered building three for Biology. I smiled a little awkwardly. He was silent as he opened the door for me. Always polite. "I'm sorry if Rosalie offended you," he said once we were at our table.

"I wasn't _offended," _I replied quietly. "I was _angry, _and maybe I was a little _jealous _too."

"Jealous? Of what?" Edward pressed.

I smiled in embarrassment. He would never understand why I felt so threatened by Rosalie, even though she had Emmett and Edward just... I only had him for two days. I sighed, shaking my head. "It's nothing. I'm sorry if I made you angry. Can we just forget about it?"

Edward nodded. "If you want to," he told me gently. Even if he couldn't read my mind, my face told him a great deal. I appreciated his manners more than I could ever express. He smiled at me. "No mention of last night? I thought you were going to back hand me."

"No. I promised to help, Edward. But it might be a little easier to help if I knew what did help," I replied.

Edward shook his head. "Nothing. It was my fault. I should have prepared better. I should have handled it while you were asleep or getting ready. I'm sorry."

"No, don't be! I promised to help. If the best way I could help is by being understanding, I'll do it. Anyway, I had time to make your present and I called Mom again. She got more details without me blushing. Plus I got to reassure her. It was a better conversation than it would have been with you there. No offense."

"I'm glad. You should take more time to talk to her, ya know?"

I nodded thoughtfully. "So how close does a person have to be for you to hear them?" I asked, taking the lab from Mr. Banner.

Edward smiled at me. "Depends on the person and how well I know them. Like my family, I can hear them from pretty far away. People around here, I know them fairly well from what they think. I can hear them almost as well as I can hear your dad right now."

"Really? What's he thinking?" I inquired.

"About you, worry about you. And there's been some animal attacks in the area," Edward answered quietly . "He wants to know for sure who you got Mono from. Wonders how you're doing in school. Worrying about Michael too. Him and Katy. How much doe she know about their relationship?"

"Um... Nothing," I said, looking into the microscope. "Prophase," I told him. "Michael doesn't tell Ma details. He tells me them. And any details Ma knows, she tells Charlie most of the time. He gets left out a lot when it comes to Michael's dating life."

"So I see," Edward muttered. "Mind if I check?" he asked, pointing to the microscope.

I raised an eyebrow. Our lab was simple only because I already did it. WE were given five slides of onion root tip cells. WE only had to separate the phases of mitosis and label them. But I shrugged then. "How much do your parents know about us?"

"Prophase," Edward confirmed with a grin. "They know about us. Both of them, which means I'm ahead of you. You only told your mom."

"My dad's a cop! Chief of police in the town you live in. I didn't want to get you in any trouble. Like getting shot," I replied.

"How much does Michael know?"

"Nothing. I haven't talked to him yet." I elbowed him in the arm because he wasn't being fair, but I knew I would be the one with a bruise, not him. "And it's different because I don't live with my brother. Metaphase. Want to check this one too?"

Edward's grin widened. "No, I trust you."

I slid the next slide over for him to look at first. "Why did Rosalie get so mad when I brought up the whole thing?"

"Oh, remember how we agreed some secrets are better kept that way? How I said if I told my secret, it would ruin my whole family's life? She thought I told you," Edward explained and took a quick glance through the microscope. "Anaphase," he told me. "I told her everything though. She's probably got a hundred more reasons to be mad at you. Even if they're bad. Just ignore her. That's what I do."

"Lucky you," I said, pushing him the fourth slide too. "You have more than one sibling so you can afford to be angry with one of them. But you and Alice get along, right?"

"Most of the time," he replied. "It's interphase," he concluded after a quick glance.

"Mind if I check?" Edward laughed and pushed the microscope over to me. I confirmed his answer. "What about Emmett and Jasper? Does your relationship with Rosalie change your relationship with Emmett?"

"No, he understands."

"Why does Jasper seem to be in even more pain than usual when I'm around? Is there something wrong with me? And don't try to deny it because you did it too when we first met! Can't you just be honest about this?"

"All right. Remember the diet and the chocolate cake in the oven?" He waited for me to nod, then continued. "Jasper is new to the diet. It's harder for him."

"Okay." It was confusing, but I trusted him. He would tell me when the right time came. If it came. I didn't mind though. Secrets were on both sides of the situation.

"What do you plan to do during Gym instead?" Edward asked, finishing the worksheet. "Sit and watch?"

"I have to go. I need the class to graduate. Unfortunately, your father's note excused me from the activity, not the actual class," I replied. "Gym here is mandatory all four years, not just two like at home."

"So you can't miss one day of class? Not even if I asked you to come on another hike with me? I found a new place."

"Wish I could, but I've been neglecting Charlie. I need to cook him dinner, do laundry for him, and so on. Maybe tomorrow? If you want to." I didn't want to turn Edward down. After the exquisite site I saw on the last hike, I wanted to see another place like that, other places he'd found. I wanted to find our perfect place. But Dad would suspect something if I kept neglecting my work at home and avoiding any conversation involving Edward or boys.

Edward smiled. "No. Saturday. You look exhausted. Have you been sleeping?"

"No, sorry," I said. I didn't know why I was apologizing to him though. I wouldn't apologize to anyone else. But Edward looked so worried. "I was up all night making your scrap book actually," I admitted, sounding like a child afraid of their father's temper. "But between house work and making dinner, I promise I'll take a nap if it'll save me a lecture."

"Good. You look like your fever's up again too."

"Ever thought of becoming a doctor?"

"I've considered it, but I can't decide what college to go to," Edward told me quietly. "Where do you want to go? Somewhere in California?"

I shook my head. "Yale. I've always wanted to go there. Thirty-five thousand a year, across country from home, and a ten percent acceptance rate. That's the way to go, huh?"

Edward nodded with a hint of sarcasm. He picked up my bag as the bell rang. As he started to lead the way out, Mike stepped in front of him. I was suddenly afraid they would end up in a brawl. Mike was obviously jealous. I grabbed a hold of Edward's arm. His posture changed just slightly. It was defensive, protective... of me.

"Hi, Mike," I said with a smile. "What's up?"

"Well, I was going to ask you Friday, but I couldn't get a minute alone with you. I know it's months away, but do you want to go to prom with me?"

My heart must have stopped. I never met anyone so rude before. He asked me in front of Edward. How was I supposed to reply to that? I glanced at Edward, who shrugged and stepped aside, but he looked annoyed. He wanted to hear my answer as much as Mike did, which didn't help the process of trying to come up with a nice answer. I cleared my throat awkwardly. "Um... Mike, I appreciate the offer. It's... It was really nice. But I don't dance. It's not really a good idea for me. Sorry. But you should ask Jessica. She would love to go with you," I answered finally. And in a way, I was dancing around a straight out "no" and also announcing that I was with Edward.

"So you and Cullen?" Mike inquired rudely.

I cringed, feeling awful for not proudly shouting out the truth. "Yeah," I said, catching Edward's grin. Why couldn't he even be a little nice to Mike while I was wounding the kid's ego? Instead, he made it worse.

"You going to prom with him?"

"No. I don't dance. I never planned to go anyway."

"Oh, well, I'll see you in Gym then?"

I nodded and turned to Edward. He put an arm around my shoulders and he walked me to Gym. "Elbow Mike in the stomach for me," he whispered, and I laughed. But we both knew he was joking. He would have yelled at me if I agreed to since I wasn't supposed to run around. We also both knew Mike would make a game out of me chasing him around the gymnasium.

Gym passed quickly. Edward walked me to my Acura and opened the door for me. Then I set off towards home alone. Charlie was home already, but he was out getting the mail. He opened the front door for me. "How was school?"

"Fine, Dad," I sighed. "I'm gonna take a nap after I start a load of laundry. I'm pretty tired."

Dad nodded. "Okay." He was watching me as I started towards the stairs. I knew it! I was sick and he was worried sick.

"Dad, you wanna go out for a burger after I wake up?" I asked, half way up the stairs.

"A burger? After your nap? You and me? Both of us?"

I rolled my eyes so he couldn't see. "Yeah. I don't feel like cooking. I thought we could talk... unless you don't want to."

Charlie looked at me like I was completely crazy. "Okay, sure, honey," he muttered, sounding confused. "We'll go around six. That okay?"

"Fine."


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

"So what's the occasion?" Dad asked, sounding terrified.

"Nothing. I just thought you seemed a little worried lately. I thought you would want to give me the cop investigation eventually. I figured it would be better to come willingly."

Dad raised his eyebrows. "Which part am I supposed to question you on?"

"Anything you want," I replied with a shrug, and I meant it. What Edward said about Charlie's thoughts made me think a little harder. Charlie was able to hide his worry better than Mom could, but I was sure how that he worried just as much. I raised my hand quickly to stop his reply. "Just make it reasonable. Don't make it awkward or nasty. Have Ma mention that stuff if it comes to mind," I added.

Charlie nodded and accepted his plate from the waitress, who I recognized from my childhood. "So how's Michael doing in school?"

"Good. A's and B's. Lots of friends. Football team keeps him busy. And he has Katy."

"How's the girlfriend then?"

"She's good! They get along well. And Ma's happy with the relationship, not that that's saying much. She adores Katy like she's another daughter," I answered, glad the topic wasn't my dating life.

"Good. So why the sudden change in attitude about Forks?"

I frowned. How was I supposed to answer that one without spilling my secret? So I shrugged, chewing on my fries to buy myself time. "I guess it's just a nice change for a while. Not permanently, but for a while. I didn't really notice the small things in Los Angeles, but now I do. Like hanging with Jake. I couldn't do that in LA without rumors of a new boyfriend. I couldn't eat a burger either. Two nice changes. I still miss LA and the sun. But it's not too bad here," I replied quietly. The whole restaurant was watching us like hawks.

"Okay. What about friends at school?"

"They're cool. Usual high school stuff. Mike asked me to the prom on the way out of Biology today. I said no. He's weird, and Jess likes him anyway."

"Jess?" Charlie repeated, not recognizing the nickname.

"Jessica. I call her Jess now."

"Ah. Anyone else I need to talk to other than Mike Newton then? Edward Cullen still bothering you?"

"No. He was never bothering me. He's better than anyone else in town. He's not rude like Mike, and he didn't almost kill me like Ben, even if it was an accident."

"There's more than three boys in town, Timberlee."

"I know. I have plenty of options if I want them."

Dad nodded in satisfaction. He obviously didn't notice my reaction when he sad Edward's name. Mike was afraid, yes, but I fed Charlie all the reasons he needed to yell at Mike. Then when Charlie mentioned Edward, I jumped to defend him. He didn't notice the catch phrase either in my reply. _If I want them. _I _didn't _want them though. I had Edward, and that was all I wanted.

"How have you been feeling? I haven't seen much of you lately."

I smiled. "Well, I feel pretty good. Especially after my nap. I was up all night making a scrap book to send to Mom. Of me and everybody at school. Figured it would mean a lot to her."

"Probably. That what you got in Port Angeles?"

"Yeah, some of it. I left a few bags of clothes in my trunk too. I got some cork board to put up on my empty wall. I was gonna cover it with pictures."

Dad smiled. "You're adjusting quickly. Whose the girlfriend holding you together? You still talking to Phoebe a lot?"

"No, not recently. But Angela Weber. We've been talking a lot." When I talked to anyone other than Edward. "And Alice Cullen too. She's really sweet! She wants to plan a spring break party for me in LA. I can't wait!"

"For which part? LA or the party or for Lace to plan it?"

"All of it." And I was. I couldn't wait to fly home and see Mom. I couldn't wait to see all my old friends at the party. And I couldn't wait to see what Alice would plan. I wanted to get her know her better. She seemed to be like someone I would enjoy spending time with. Rosalie or not, I would love Alice's company! I had no doubt she would be as mysterious as the rest of her family. They all shared the same secret. That's why Edward wouldn't tell me, but I would be understanding.

"What happened to being a vegan?" Dad asked when I took a bite o fmy hamburger.

"Gave it up last year," I told him once I swallowed. "It lasted for two months, but I've been thinking about becoming a vegetarian. Ma thought you would object."

"She's right. You need meet on your bones. How are you supposed to gain weight?"

"I've been the same weight for five years. Eating won't help much. But you should give Edward more credit. He got me to eat a hot dog at lunch. You should hire him to get me to eat gross foods like hot dogs and soda."

"No, thank you. I'd rather you didn't let him help."

"Why--because he's good looking?"

"So now you can read minds?"

"No." _But I know someone who can, _I thought. I made a mental note to ask Edward what Charlie's problem was. "I heard there's been some animal attacks in the area," I said to change the subject. "Everybody okay?"

"No. Unfortunately not. A couple of hikers were killed. No more hiking for you. Not until we short this problem out. Okay?"

With Edward, I was safe from wolves or bears or whatever else there was out there. But I nodded to please Dad, even though nothing would stop me from my Saturday morning hike with Edward. He could protect me, and he would. If only Charlie would believe that. I doubted he would. Actually, I knew he wouldn't. And he wouldn't ever trust Edward if he knew we went on hikes together alone in the woods, supposedly where the animal attacks had been.

"Does Michael know about birth--" Dad stopped short when he saw my expression.

"Dad, yes, he does. One good thing about Ted, he never lets anything slip by. You don't have to worry about him anyway. He's a good kid."

"You hate Ted, huh?"

"Yes. He's disgusting and nosy. Mean, annoying, pain in the butt," I mumbled. "But other times, he isn't so bad. He's not that horrible as long as he's across the house and not talking to or about me."

Charlie nodded in understanding. I knew how much he hated Ted. No matter what anybody said, Mom still loved Charlie more than she loved Ted. But they just couldn't work out their differences. And I knew most of all because I was the shoulder Mom cried on for years after the divorce.

"I talked to your mom earlier. She told me that I should help you find a boyfriend since I know everyone in town. She's convinced me that I should let you date any one you choose as long as they meet a few requirements."

I nodded, wondering how mad Charlie would be if I mentioned Edward then. "Such as?"

"No record. No criminal relatives--"

"That's not fair! You can't enforce the second one. That's cheating. If you're going to make rules about _my _boyfriends, it has to be reasonable."

"Okay, okay, okay. Second is out then. I have to talk to him first. Among other things. I just haven't thought about it yet. Something else will come to mind."

"Fine. I guess." Leave it to Mom to get Dad to listen. But by his standards, I would never find a boy he approved of. But I planned to go out with Edward this weekend. Dad could either accept it or not know about it. Something about Edward was extremely old fashioned. It seemed extremely likely that he would eventually want to ask Charlie if he could date me. Just as likely was the thought that Edward would approve of us sneaking around as much as Charlie would.

"Do you have any suggestions then?" I asked to break the silence.

"What about Mike? He was extremely friendly last weekend."

I nodded because he was. "Jessica likes him. He's off limits. And he's too much like every other guy I met in LA."

"Tyler Smith?"

"Now taken. Hooked up, broke up, got back together. It's a little confusing, but I'm pretty sure he's still taken. On top of everything, he's rude."

"You're very selective now. Where did that come from?"

I shrugged. "From the hopes of finding someone I can live with for more than a few months a time."

"Honey, you're too independent to get involved with a boy right now. You're only sixteen. You don't need a boyfriend if you're out of college and ready to get married."

"You're contradicting yourself, Dad. And who says I'll ever be ready to get married? I want to have a few options by the end of college anyway."

"And how many boyfriends have you had so far?"

"That's beside the point. I'm saying that I want a long list of choices so I'm sure I marry the right guy. If nothing's happened so far, nothing will. Especially not in a town with 3,120 people where my dad's police chief. Stop worrying, stop lecturing, and give me a break, okay? I know you don't want me to date."

"Any boys you like though?"

"Dad! Why are you so interested about that aspect of my life? Trying to figure out when I'm going to be gone so you can have someone over?" I joked.

"No, I just feel like I leave you alone too much. I don't know anything that's going on when you live in my house. I know even less than I did when you lived with your mom. And that's because you don't tell her everything, so she can't report to me."

"Oh, well, nobody's being mean or bullying me at school, okay?"

"Grades?"

"Are fine. I'm really okay, Dad." That was true. Edward made me feel better than ever. The up's and down's weren't much different when I was with him. No deaths or depressed friends to look after. I could just look after me for once. I didn't have to answer the phone at two in the morning to help a friend through whatever problem there was. Maybe there was lots of reasons it was working with Edward.

While I was trying to help Jessica out in winning Mike's heart, I wasn't trying ot mend relationships that were long gone. There wasn't huge amounts of drama here. Edward was older than me. He was more mature. He was the perfect guy. It was the perfect change. And I would do whatever I had to do to keep him.


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

When Charlie and I returned from the diner, I walked upstairs to my room, shedding my coat on the way. I opened my door, switched on the light, and nearly had a heart attack. Edward Cullen was on my bed, grinning at me. Since it made the least noise of all my options and wouldn't alert Charlie, I chucked my coat at him. "I told you not to sneak up on me, Edward Cullen!" I hissed furiously. But after my quick outburst, I went to lay down next to him. His eyes were the lightest I'd ever seen them.

I crossed my legs and studied him. He was laying down, hands behind his head, ankles crossed. He looked so relaxed. It was a nice change. "So what's up?" I asked, laying down next to him.

"Nothing special. I just thought it would be nice to talk."

I smiled. "Do I get to do the questioning tonight?" I wanted my change to interrogate Edward. He knew so much about me, but I didn't know much about him. Other than what I had already observed. I didn't know too many facts and I wanted to know at least a few. I felt Edward shrug next to me. "Mm, okay, let's see... What's your favorite man flick?"

Edward laughed quietly. "The Gladiator's pretty good."

"Love that movie! Nice choice. Um... Favorite form of art? Like 3D, painting, drawing, literature."

"Literature. You should know that from English."

"Any ex-girlfriends who're gonna come after me?" I asked, extremely jealous at the thought of Edward with someone else. It was sickening.

"No. How many on your side?"

"You have to guess."

"Five?"

"Too low."

"Seven?"

"Warmer."

"Ten?" I only shook my head that time. For multiple reasons, but the main one was that I was suddenly terrified of Edward's reaction when he heard my real number. "Fifteen?" he pressed.

"Too high," I whispered, avoiding his eyes.

"Twelve? Thirteen? Fourteen?"

"Eleven," I mumbled. I glanced up at Edward. His face was unreadable. I cringed. "Are you mad?"

"No, I'm not mad." He pulled me onto his chest so we were looking at each other. He kissed me once, his lips' touch light. They grazed against my neck and collarbone then. He was studying my face, as if he expected me to cry out in pain any second. But I didn't--it didn't hurt. It was so gentle, yet still passionate. Then he pulled away and made me slide off his chest.

I glared at him in disappointment. "Do I still get to continue my inquiry?" I asked.

Edward nodded with a smile.

"Yes!" I exclaimed in victory. "Are you a virgin?" I asked awkwardly, trying to understand why he pulled away so fast.

"Are you?" Edward replied.

I frowned, and Edward must have noticed my sudden mood change. "I asked first."

"Then you should have known what my reply would have been. So now you get to answer first."

I considered my options. Lie, refuse to answer the question, demand that Edward answer first, but he did have a point. Most people would have answered the same way. So I sighed. "No, I'm not," I said finally, looking away. I could only imagine what Edward was thinking, what he would say to that. "Are you?"

"Yes," Edward whispered. His arm around me was once comfortable, but now we were both awkward. "Who was your first?" he asked.

I pushed him away then, and he looked confused, even worried. There were two options that time. Secrets or not. I could tell him, but I knew he owuldn't tell me his secrets, so it could be counter-productive. Or I could ignore the question. But I shook my head. "I don't know," I said, sounding as strong as I could manage.

"What does that mean, Timberlee?" Edward demanded.

"It means that I was raped, Edward," I replied defensively. I felt Edward tense and glanced over at him. "I reported it. They did everything they could, but the system doesn't always work. There wasn't anybody after him though." I shrugged. "I'm mostly over it--as much as I'll ever be--but I just wish I knew who he was. Not because I want revenge. I just want to know his name, to put a name with his face." I glanced at Edward again. His face was angry, furious, hateful, protective, and so many other things. "Are you mad at me now?"

Edward looked down at me. "No. Why would I be?"

"I just got the impression you wanted to be my first," I answered. I paused and laughed, covering my face. "That's not how I meant it to sound. Sorry."

"I know what you meant," Edward told me with a smile. "And I would be your first if we did anything. You never told him yes."

I rolled over so I could see his face more clearly. It was sincere, so gentle. I smiled through the tears. It was the most comforting thing I'd ever heard. No counselor could have helped me as much as that did. Edward pulled me into a hug and kissed my hair. "When?"

"Two years ago."

"And your dad doesn't know?"

I shook my head. "No. Mom does, and I decided not to tell him. Mom said ti was probably a good idea. He wouldn't understand it for one thing. On top of that, he'd freak out--being a cop. He'd never let me out of his sight again. But you'd be amazed how little it bothers me now. I can trust some people, not everyone, and it takes longer than I'd like sometimes, but I can trust. And I'm not terrified to turn the lights off anymore."

"That's what the anti-depressants are for. And the most defining day of your life too?" he inquired.

I nodded. "I'm not glad it happened, but I've accepted it. It's brought me to be the person I am today. As much as it hurt me--in every sense of the word--it opened my eyes. Even now, I realize new things. I realized I'm strong enough to get through bad situations. I realized that life's too short to be wasted on being shallow or stupid. I realized I want so much more from my life than nightmares and happy pills. After you've been through something like that, it's... It's so hard to move on, to get over it, and you never go back to the person you were. But I think I'm over it as much as anyone can be. I guess I'm contradicting myself. Sorry."

"No. I understand what you mean. It changed you, and it still changes you, but you don't let it rule your life. Do you still think about it a lot?"

"Sometimes. When I don't have anything better to do. That's when I get depressed." I smiled with a shrug. "That's one advantage of LA--I'm never bored."

"Are you sorry you told me?"

"No. Sometimes telling secrets is freeing. It's really nice actually, getting it out. I don't feel like I'm lying to you anymore. Or at least not as much--I do still have secrets."

Edward nodded, and we fell silent. I was exhausted all of the sudden. I feel asleep to the sound of Edward humming that beautiful lullaby. I wondered why he hummed that lullaby instead of another. I couldn't comprehend the depth of Edward's feeling if he accepted me the way I was--flaws and problems. I couldn't understand why he chose me. None of it made sense, but it didn't have to. Everything was perfect when I was in Edward's arms, safe from any harm that might come.

No matter what happened in my past and his, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered but our love. Not the past or why we were the people we were. I could close my eyes in Edward's arms and sleep the night away while he hummed. I could trust him. I did trust him, and I wasn't scared to trust him. That was the best thing anyone could give me.


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Edward's touch woke me up in the morning. It was soft and gentle, everything it should be. Just cold. But I didn't mind because I knew my alarm would go off any second. Edward smiled at me apologetically. I knew he hadn't meant to wake me up. And I knew that was the reason he quickly put the blanket between our skin. I sat up to get a better look at his face. He suddenly looked afraid--like he thought I would pull away or even hit him for waking me up.

"I don't mind how cold your skin is," I told him, and it was true. It was cold, yes, but I liked it. I liked everything about him. There was no such thing as a flaw when it came to him.

"Then why'd you wake up?" Edward asked, obviously not believing me.

"Internal alarm," I answered, leaning against him. "It happens all the time. Especially when I'm not dreaming about anything. I only sleep until my alarm if I'm having a good dream."

"Really? So what makes your internal alarm go off?"

"Nothing specific. Charlie still here?"

Edward nodded, closing his eyes. I glanced down at him. He looked relaxed still. I smiled because I couldn't stop it mostly, not that I didn't try. Edward wasn't some fictional character in the movies. He was real, even as mysterious as it was. He was mine too, and he didn't seem to object to my possessiveness. I didn't fully comprehend that he didn't sleep at all. Part of me wished he did because he looked amazing laying like that. But I wouldn't feel so comfortable if he was asleep. The fact that he was awake helped calm my fears.

"Where do you see yourself in ten years?" Edward inquired, opening his eyes.

I shrugged. "Never given it much thought, but I guess I'll be married, maybe have a kid or two. Done with college. Mom wants me to model or maybe act, maybe get into music too. Singing." I frowned thoughtfully. Like I said, I'd never given it much thought. At least not my future. The future in general maybe, but not mine. I had gone as far as what I would do to cope when I was no longer sixteen. After that, fate would work it out. I trusted the future. I knew I would have a future, and that was usually enough for me. I didn't have a Plan A, B, and C. I would find where I was meant to be without any plan. I would know it when I was there, and I knew that I was mean tot be in Forks then, meant to be with Edward.

"How many kids do you want?" Edward pressed.

"I'm not sure." I crossed my legs, sitting up. "Part of me wants a big family, but that's not always the best thing. I think I would probably go insane. But two or three have the capability to drive me crazy too. More than one at least," I answered finally, and switched off my alarm before it went off. "Never really thought about it, and my decisions change all the time."

Edward smiled. "I can't imagine you with kids at all," he admitted, and his voice sounded sad. "You're just a child yourself. It's... It's hard to think of you grown up, as an adult. You're mature, yes, but you're a kid at the same time."

"Will you miss the childish part?"

Edward looked away from me and stared at an invisible spot on my ceiling. "I won't be around then," he whispered.

"Why not?"

"It's hard to explain."

"I think I can keep up."

Edward shook his head. "It's nothing. Just forget about it, Timberlee," he said quietly, and touched my cheek. I tried to read what was behind the sadness in his voice, but I couldn't. There was nothing. I didn't know why he sounded so sad. But that didn't belong in his voice. I couldn't read what was in his eyes when he touched my cheek. It reminded me of a father touching his daughter's cheek, but it wasn't that kind of relationship. It was like he was trying to never forget the touch of my skin against his, like he wanted to remember how tan I looked compared to him. It was like he was putting pictures into his mind instead of on the walls, like I did.

"I'm not going anywhere, Edward," I whispered.

"You have to!" he told me fiercely. "You can't let me stop you from the life you want. Go home to your mother, go to Yale, get married, have kids. Don't let your feelings for me change the plans you've already made for yourself."

"It's too late for that. I can't change what I feel."

"Don't try to then! Just don't get too attached. Nothing lasts forever. You, of all people, should know that."

"Edward, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Then why are you acting like this? You're acting like you're going to leave or like I'm going to die, or maybe both. Please, just tell me. I'll do anything within my power if it helps. Don't shut me out."

Edward frowned, studying my face. I was pleading with him. He wasn't supposed to be sad when he saw me. I wanted to make him as happy as he made me. I wanted him to feel what I did when we were together. Instead, he spent the time savoring every moment. Not because he was scared it would end--because he knew it would end. Or at least that's what it seemed like to me.

Edward rolled off my bed, his shoulders sagging. "It doesn't matter," he replied. "You'll understand someday."

"And what if someday's not good enough?" I asked as he headed for my window--I knew he was leaving. "What if I want to understand now?"

"You can't. I'm sorry." And he was gone.

I closed my eyes. Nothing about Edward's behavior made me think he was going to leave me specifically. It just made me think he was leaving Forks or school or something else, not just me. But that scared me more than the thought of being dumped. Edward was the whole reason I could stand Forks and school. He was the reason for my sanity.

"Timberlee?" Charlie called, knocking twice on my door. "You up yet? Usually, you're up by now. You okay?"

"Fine, Dad. Just tired. I'm getting up."

It somehow felt like February 9th--my first day of school--all over again. I knew where I was going, but I had no clue what to expect when I hurried out to my truck after breakfast. I didn't know if Edward would be there or not. I didn't know if he would still be sad or if he would even talk to me. All I knew was that he wasn't telling me the reasons. Before, I thought it was one huge secret his whole family shared. But as I rolled over the conversation with Edward in my room that morning, I began to think there was more than one secret. I knew Edward was protecting his family. But who else was he protecting? Himself? Me?

I feel very... protective of you. It seemed like years ago when he said that, and I didn't know what he would be protecting me from by not telling me his secret. All I knew was that he had a secret, one that he wouldn't tell me... ever. I told him everything, and he apparently loved to listen to me.

The person protecting me suddenly struck fear into my heart, a fear that had always been there. But I never saw it before. I'm the bad guy. I'm the horror story you wanted as a reason we shouldn't be friends What kind of horror story was this Edward Cullen though? His gentle, caring touch. His beautiful smile that could lighten any mood. The way he looked at me, the way he talked to me, the things he noticed about me, the things he said to me. None of that was a horror story in my eyes. It was a love story. One no one could explain, but still a love story.

The charming, beautiful, flawless boy from Alaska, and the accident prone, shy, human girl from Los Angeles. Physically, it made no sense. He was perfect. I was a model, yes, but modeling had little to do with beauty. It had everything to do with talent. I was capable, but Edward was like a super hero--my super hero.

Mentally, it made no sense either. I was the city girl, daughter of an over-caring, doting mother and a cop. I was friendly, but shy--too shy to show how shy I really was. I was mixed up, confused, and incomprehensible in so many ways. Edward had secrets and abilities that made no sense, but he was the way everyone was supposed to be. He was a gentleman. He was loving. He was caring. He was perfect--completely flawless. As easily as he could get someone more beautiful, more mature, with less flaws, he picked me instead. That, most of all, made no sense.

How we fell in love didn't make any sense either. If he was a horror story, why wouldn't he tell me? Did he trust me so little. Or was he afraid I would leave and never come back? I didn't have the answers, but when I pulled into the parking lot and saw Edward leaning against his Volvo next to my parking space, I didn't need them.

Edward opened my door, smiling like we had been apart for a year. It hadn't even been an hour. He helped me out of my truck by lifting me off my feet as if I weighed nothing and setting me on the ground in front of him. He took my bag as we started towards building two for English. His arm around my shoulders, his grin widened. "You are the target of jealousy everywhere," he whispered in my ear.

"Good!" I replied, but it wasn't in spite. It made me feel good. All the stereotypes, all the grades, all the backgrounds, Edward had so many girls to pick from, and he chose me. He chose me. It seemed unreal.

"I showed Esme the scrap book you made. Minus the letter," he added quickly when he saw my horrified look. I didn't want anyone but Edward to read it. "I took it out. I'm trying to find a place for it in my room," he explained. "Anyway. Esme's all excited. She wants you to come over Friday night."

"Why? Does she not approve or... what?"

"No, no, no! She loves you already! Her and Alice have never been so excited before. They want to know you better. Is it okay if I pick you up Friday at six?"

"6:30 would be better," I replied. "I have to make Charlie dinner."

"Good. That's perfect."

I smiled at his enthusiasm. It was perfect though. I loved the way it rang off his voice when he said that. Edward had returned in perfect time, the Edward I knew. "So what's the plan for Friday?" I asked, entering the English room.

"Well, we might play some baseball, depends on the weather. Esme wants to show you off. Alice wants to take you shopping. Emmett just wants to hear some funny stories, or his version of funny. I just want you to have a good time."

"I will! I have a good time with you no matter what we do. Besides, I love Alice! She'll be my best friend if Jasper lets us. I swear he hates me. And I want to see your house."

Edward grinned. "You know, I never gave you a nickname like I said I would Sunday," he pointed out.

"You have one yet?"

"No, but I'm working on it right now. I'll come up with something though. I'm sorry if you're disappointed."

"Not at all. It just means you'll come up with something extra good," I said with a smile. I was anxious to see what would become my nickname and what would happen on Friday. Edward suggested Emmett would be there, which meant Rosalie would be there too. She was most of the reason I was nervous. I wasn't too scared of receiving their approval. Carlisle seemed too nice not to approve of anyone. Of course, it was different now that Edward and I were official. Alice apparently approved already. Emmett and Jasper would be okay, no matter what happened. Edward made Esme sound like Mom. And I already knew what Rosalie thought of me without being able to read minds. She made it obvious.

Once English started, we started to read Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. I'd read that one before too. But I didn't mind. We weren't reading it out loud, so I could just pretend to read. Mr. Sanders seemed to avoid giving us homework. Not that any of us minded.

I was thinking about Edward and our up-coming spring break. Edward was writing something furiously. I exchanged several confused glances with him, but he only smiled at me, shaking his head. And I let it drop after our fourth time through it. When the bell rang, Edward was folding up the small stack of papers. He was up before I was though, and was there to open the door for me.

Edward slipped the note into my hand as we departed. I frowned thoughtfully, but continued to my next class. I opened the note under my desk when I got there. Four whole pages. He wrote me four pages. All in one hour. I wasn't surprised he could write so fast. I just was surprised he had that much to say, and I wanted to know what it was all about. I couldn't have said that much, no matter how hard I tried, but I looked to the letter.

Timberlee Ember Stone,  
I must say I was impressed by you this morning. I apologize again for upsetting you. Just know that sometimes life is unpredictable. I wasn't say that I would leave you. I don't want to leave you, and it's not in my plans, but my secrets go deeper than you know. I don't want you to misunderstand any of this. What I've told you is impossible to understand without one key point, and that's the one point I can't tell you.

Even though I can't tell you, that doesn't mean I don't want to. But most of all, I don't want to lie to you about anything. Please understand this. Don't make me have to lie to you. That would be harder than I can explain. Let's just leave secrets secret. I don't want to lie to you though, never in a hundred years.

I've waited for you a whole lifetime, Timberlee. An entire lifetime! An I don't want to lose you. I don't want to hurt you. I would do anything to save you from any kind of pain. I see that I've been too late by several years. But in the future, I promise to you that I will do anything to save you from pain of any kind.

Please, don't make me hurt you. I want to tell you the truth, but what happens when the truth hurts more than not knowing? If it comes to lying, I would avoid it as long as I could. I gave you the answer adrenaline once. But we both know that's not true. You knew it immediately, because it couldn't explain what happened. And I can't explain it any better than you can without telling something that I can't let loose. But I have no other explanation other than adrenaline that I can give. I apologize for the secrecy, but it's for your protection as much as it is for my family's.

You're sixteen. We've known each other for two and a half weeks alone. So far, I know just about everything about you that I could at this point. I feel like I've been deciding the pace for this relationship the whole time. I don't want to overwhelm you with mysteries to figure out. I especially don't want you to feel like we're moving too fast. I need you to tell me how you feel and everything that could help me.

I'm strong enough to push away cars. I'm fast enough to get there before you died. You have to tell me if I hurt you in any way. If this is going to work, you have to be completely honest with me, completely open. It's the only way I can do this. I love you too much to ever put a bruise on you or do anything else to hurt you. If I'm going to keep coming over at night and seeing you at all, I have to be sure I'm not hurting you. That's my greatest fear. I don't want you to regret our relationship because I hurt you.

The letter went on. Edward described why he was afraid to hurt me. He told me just about everything he could about it without actually telling me the much disputed secret. He told me everything but that one thing. His feelings, his fears, his reasons for the fears, what drew him to me, and so on. After I finished reading it, I had no doubts about his feelings. I tucked the note into my bag, taking deep breaths to calm my heart as it pounded.

On my way to lunch, I debated where to put my letter after I got home. I didn't know if Charlie ever went in my room to look around. Until Edward and I told him, the letter would have to stay hidden and it would have to anyway because Edward spent the entire four pages dancing around the truth.

Edward met me outside the cafeteria. He smiled and I returned the smile. We entered together. "Nothing romantic, but I'll buy you some pizza," Edward said.

I laughed. After we got through the chow line, Edward suggested we sit with my friends this time. Considering that Rosalie looked even more angry than before, sitting with my friends didn't seem like a bad idea. I wanted Edward to enjoy their company as much as I did, though I could never make him like Mike. He stood behind me, massaging my stiff shoulders gently as I ate. It felt good!

"Is it official?" Jessica inquired, glancing back and forth between me and Edward.

"Um..." I glanced at Edward, who was grinning and obviously waiting for my answer. "We're unofficially official," I answered finally. "We are, but Dad doesn't know yet."

"You're cute together!" Angela exclaimed. "Perfect couple."

I smiled. We did work well together. Edward was very much out of my league, but he loved me anyway. So I appreciated it much more. Edward squeezed the nerves on my shoulders. To anyone else, it would have hurt. But my case of TMJ made it feel good. He ran his hands through my hair every few seconds too, playing with the curls.

"When did it become official?" Jessica pressed.

"Um... Saturday?" I replied, and glanced at Edward for him to confirm, which he did.

"You guys should throw a party!" Lauren suggested.

"We could arrange that," Edward said in his gorgeous, velvet voice. "What do you say, Timberlee? Alice could have it planned in a few days alone. Sunday okay?"

"That's perfect!" Angela answered for me. "Where do we go?" She sounded overly excited, like Mom would have if she had been there to attend the up-coming party.

"Um..." Not my house because Charlie was there. Not Edward's house either for whatever reason he had. I looked up at Edward. He knew the area better than I did. He would know.

"The bar and grill outside of Port Angeles," he said.

"So is it like a formal thing or what?" Lauren asked.

"Semi-formal," Edward answered before I could. I elbowed him in the stomach because I was going to say casual, but I glanced over at Alice. I could practically see the plans she had. She wanted to dress me up. Unlike Edward, I could read her a little too easily and it was obvious she was going to torture me.

On the way to Biology, Alice joined me and Edward. She smiled, hooking arms with me. "We should go shopping! I want to surprise Edward with your outfit," she said.

"Won't he see it in your mind though?"

"Only if she thinks about it," Edward told me.

"Which I won't. We should drive to Port Angeles or maybe Seattle if you want after school."

"Sure, sure." Edward paused when I continued into the Biology room. "What?" I asked.

He shrugged casually. "Skipping class today," he answered, but his look told me he didn't want me to cut too. Not because he didn't want my company. Just because he didn't want me to get in trouble. By then, I knew the principal, Mr. Greene, enough to know that Edward would probably get killed for it. So I nodded. "Okay, I'll see you around," I said, and Edward smiled.

Alice hugged me quickly. "We should leave right after this period. There's so many good shops if you know where to look."

I smiled, nodding. "Sure, okay. Right after this period."

Alice skipped away then, leaving me alone. When the bell rang, Mr. Banner turned to us. "The hospital is asking for blood donations. Just for fun, I thought we could all see what our blood types are."

I stiffened. Blood and needles in one class? Fun? Never! Everyone else started the lab while I sat, still frozen in my seat, trying not to look. The boy in the next table pricked his finger and the light headed feeling came immediately.

"Is there a problem, Ms. Stone?" Mr. Banner asked, sounding like he was accusing me of raining on his parade.

"I already know my blood type," I whispered. The table in front of me started then, and I closed my eyes so I didn't have to look. "Can I go to the nurse? I feel really dizzy. Like I'm gonna pass out."

"Of course. Mr. Newton, please, help her."

"No, I don't need any help." But Mike was already on his feet, arm held out for me to take. We started towards the nurse's office. Edward sat on the curb by his Volvo, but he ran over faster than most were capable of when he saw me. "What happened?" he asked, looking into my eyes as if to check my vital signs.

"Nothing. She just got dizzy in class," Mike answered as if I couldn't answer myself.

"I don't like needles or blood," I told Edward, taking his arm and pulling away from Mike.

"It wasn't even her blood though," Mike muttered.

I glared at him furiously. "Edward can take me from here. Go back to class, Mike," I said coldly. Edward lifted me into his arms as if I weighed nothing at all. I rested my head on his chest as he walked smoothly, too dizzy to come up with a reasonable explanation for his strength.

The nurse gave me a full examination and concluded that I was fine. Hydrated and well-fed. She released me with a clean bill of health. Edward walked out of the office with me, his arm around my waist. We sat on the curb together, me clutching my stomach. "What's wrong?" Edward asked with a worried tone. But still the most gentle I'd ever heard.

I shook my head to get the images out of my head, but it didn't work--it never did. "Remember that school shooting?" I inquired quietly, weakly. "I was there. Blood just reminds me of the pools of red on the floor when my friends were dying. Needles remind me of when the medics trying to save the ones that didn't die right away. No matter what happens, I'll never be able to forget that, Edward. And worst of all, it was my fault."

"How?" Edward asked, making me look him in the eyes.

I shook my head again. "It doesn't matter. Forget about it. Forget I ever said anything."

"No, I can't do that. What did you mean by that? How was it your fault?"

I didn't reply. I didn't want to talk. Eyes closed and hands over my face, what could I say? Edward was worried and there was nothing more for me to say. I wasn't going to give in. Edward smiled gently though, hugging my shoulders. He breathed into my hair. "You want a ride home?"

"No. Alice is taking me shopping after this period. I'll be fine in a little while. The fresh air helps."

Edward's grasp tightened around me, but it still wasn't tight. He apparently knew exactly what helped in any situation. He couldn't read my mind, but he was close enough. Everything he did was at the perfect time, everything he said was right.

We sat on the curb together, my face buried in his marble chest, his arms around me, rocking just slightly. Alice saw us and ran over as fast as Edward had. She, too, looked worried. Edward looked up first. "She's fine," he answered, reading her mind or maybe just her face. "But I don't want her driving anywhere. You can take my car. Just don't let her drive."

"No," I mumbled, not moving.

"We can drive her car," Alice said, and I wondered if she could read minds too.

I nodded. "Alice can drive it. I don't mind. But if Charlie sees me in your car, even if I'm with Alice, he'll go insane."

Edward grinned up at Alice, rubbing my arm softly. "Fine. Go get some water for the ride and be safe. Don't let her out of your sight," Edward said to Alice in a warning tone, furious even, and we hadn't even left yet. I glanced at him, but he helped me to my feet without returning my look. "Have fun, okay?"

"I will," I promised. He kissed me quickly, and I wondered if it was because everyone was watching or for the same reasons be always pulled away so soon. But his smile meant more to me than his kiss anyway. I returned it because I knew he was concerned. "I'll see you?" Tonight, I wanted to say, but I didn't know if Alice was aware of our late night visits or not.

Edward nodded.

I was in a much better mood then. I got to see if Alice was anymore willing to give me answers. We drove back to my house. Alice listed off her ideas for the party on Sunday. They all sounded good to me. Sadah, Maggie, and Trooper were all in the back yard, but they backed away in fear obviously when Alice stepped out. I frowned. Dad was home though and came out looking interested to meet Alice.

"I know exactly where to go," Alice continued. "You'll look so adorable! I can't wait."

"Hey, Dad!" I greeted, hoping I wasn't as pale as I felt. "Me and Alice were going to Port Angeles to shop. There's a semi-formal party on Sunday. We wanted to go get our clothes for it."

Charlie nodded. "Have fun."

"Thanks. Alice Cullen, my dad," I introduced, setting my bags down on the floor. Dad, so far, didn't seem to realize I left school early, but I expected he would any minute now. "I just have to get my purse and then I'll be ready."

Alice nodded.

"The nurse called, Timberlee," Dad called as I ran up the stairs. "I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with you driving all the way to Port Angeles."

"Oh, Alice is driving. I feel better now anyway. Blood and needles just don't go well with me."

Alice remained downstairs to talk to Dad while I ran to get my stuff. I could hear her beautiful voice mixed with Charlie's rough, low voice. They were in the kitchen. I grabbed my purse and started down the stairs again.

"Well, she's adjusting much better than I thought," Charlie said, and I stopped on the last step, just out of sight. "But that worries me more than if she was still sulking. It's like I don't even know my own child."

"I'm sure she's fine. She's probably just trying to feel at home and get used to the whole new surroundings."

Charlie sat down. He didn't usually talk to strangers so easily. I'd grown up with the image of a shy man for my dad. But Alice was easy to talk to. I walked into the kitchen then. "Ready to go, Alice?" I asked, smiling. Charlie looked older than usual, but I knew why. He didn't feel any better, even after I tried to calm his fears by sitting through dinner with him. The best way after my attempts was telling him the truth about myself and Edward. He would definitely be concerned by that, but he wouldn't be left to discover the truth for himself. It was no better than Edward keeping his secret from me. It was worse because I wasn't protecting anyone but myself--Edward couldn't be hurt by a bullet if he could walk away after stopping a van with his bare hand.

"Yeah," Alice answered, and took my keys. She smiled at Charlie on our way. It felt strange to be sitting next to Alice as she drove down the road. As soon as we were out of sight of the windows in my house, she sped up to the speed that reminded me of Edward.

"We're all so happy for Edward!" Alice started cheerfully. "He's waited so long for you. You should have seen him on the days he missed school the first week. He was so quiet. He spent every minute talking about you when he was home. Or he'd just stare into space, and we all knew he was thinking about you. Other times, he would disappear and no one could find him. But he was so happy whenever he saw you! We're all so glad. We're going to be such good friends."

"Yeah, I hope so," I replied. "I just wish Rosalie would be more open. It would make things easier."

Alice glanced at me, looking shocked. "She's happy for you too. She just doesn't understand. There are reasons for her behavior. Just ignore her when she's rude. She'll adjust once she realizes you're not leaving."

"Why doesn't she like me? Is there something I did?"

"No! Nothing that you've done. She's just worried, or that's part of it. If you're physically hurt in this situation with Edward, we'll all get in trouble."

"That's why!" I exclaimed. Alice looked confuse and I smiled with a shrug. "He always tells me that if he hurts me, I have to tell him. He's so gentle--too gentle--and I appreciate it. It just didn't make much sense until now. Is that part of the reason he won't tell me the big secret too?" I asked.

"Part of it. We would all get in trouble if he told you."

"What if I discovered it for myself? Could he confirm it?"

Alice nodded. "But I don't think you'll figure it out. No offense," she told me with a smile. "It's just not the typical secret, and I don't think Edward wants you to know."

"Why not?"

"He's afraid you'll leave him when you do know."

"Oh..." I whispered, frowning. Why would I leave him when he told me his secret when he stuck with me when I told him mine? But those familiar words rang through my head again. I'm the horror story you wanted as a reason we shouldn't be friends. He was afraid that I would be scared of him. I didn't understand why though, and that was his secret. That was one of his fears.

Alice glanced at me. She must have noticed the tears I was trying to fight back. I didn't know how I could ever be afraid of Edward Cullen. The thought made me want to cry. He never hurt me once, but how low could his confidence be to not trust himself enough to trust that he wouldn't hurt me? And how little did he trust me if he thought I would be scared of him? Or was he truly a horror story? Was it really that bad?

I closed my eyes. "Does he trust me that little?"

"That's not it, Timberlee! He doesn't trust human nature and part of human nature is being scared of things like that. He does trust you."

"But he doesn't trust himself?"

Alice had no reply for that, and my guess was that it was because I was right. He didn't trust himself. Edward was scared to hurt me because he didn't trust he could control himself.

And then we reached Port Angeles. Alice ran around the car. She pulled me into a hug as soon as I stepped out. "You shouldn't worry about it. Everything is fine," she promised me. "He trusts himself enough to come see you every night, even when you're asleep. How much more could he trust himself?"

"He could trust himself enough to not be afraid," I answered.

Alice's hug tightened. "Stop worrying! I promised to give you a good time. I say we should look at dresses first. I want you to be the center of attention--you and Edward on your big night. So I'm going to make sure you both look absolutely amazing!"

"Are we going to look for decorations too then?"

"Mmhmm!" Alice answered, her voice higher than usual. "And stop by the bar and grill on the way home to reserve the party room. I say it should be from like one to six or seven. Is that good?"

"Yeah, that's great."

"Tomorrow, we should take a bunch of pictures of you two together to put on the posters and to send out. You guys have to be the hottest couple ever."

I smiled, feeling much better. "Except you and Jasper."

"No, no! I already know what we're wearing. It's nothing compared to what you'll be wearing. And you're the hostess, so you have to be the hottest girl ever! Edward said semi-formal. We're gonna find you a mini-dress to show off those gorgeous legs. And then we have to figure out outfits for you two to wear in the pictures too. And a place to take the pictures. I wanted to take them in that gorgeous clearing of Edward's, but he said no. So we'll have to figure out another place. Esme can help. Rosalie and Emmett too."

"Are you open to suggestions?" I asked thoughtfully.

"Of course! Do you have any ideas?"

I nodded as we started walking. "I ran away once when I was visiting. I was twelve. I found this beautiful, serene place outside of Forks. There's this old shack there. I have a drawing of it at home actually. I'll show it to you when we get back."

Alice linked arms with me, pulling me at a faster pace as we entered the store. The junior's section was in the back. "Do you want the pictures to be dressy or casual?" I asked, sorting through some jeans.

"We can do both. But you're the only one who gets to change. This is your day. You can change in the shack or we could set up a tent. I hope it doesn't rain or I swear I'll cry..."

I grinned. "Hey, can you find me some cute shirts--black, yellow, green, or blue. Size small."

"Sure. Why those colors?"

"Edward said they looked good on me. It's his day too, and I want him to think I'm hot."

Alice laughed. "Okay." She skipped away to a rack of shirts and started looking through them. I shifted from shelf to shelf looking, but Alice's spiky hair was easy to spot wherever I went. Alice came back with two everything--one in my size, one in hers. On our way to the dressing rooms, I saw a black mini-dress, flowered lace over a silky fabric. "Oh, my gosh! I have to try this on!" I exclaimed, and snatched my size off the rack.

Alice and I occupied the handicapped dressing room so we could see each outfit on the other without leaving. We tried on the same clothes at the same time. Outfit after outfit. I took at least ten pictures of us in each one to add to the memory. It felt like one of my shopping sprees back home in LA. It made me miss Phoebe even more, and Mom. I missed the crazy trips we made to buy one thing when we ended up buying a hundred or more.

"You look so gorgeous, Timberlee!" Alice exclaimed when it came time to try on the black dress I found. "We'll take pictures in that one definitely. Let's go look at formal dresses for the party now."

"Formal?" I repeated, terrified. "Edward said semi-formal."

"Of course he did! I told him too--in my thoughts. If they're only semi-formal, you'll really stick out. You have to look absolutely gorgeous, even more than normal. So formal," Alice explained happily, completely oblivious to my terror.

After trying on a total of twenty-seven dresses, Alice picked out three to chose from for the party. A silver, strapless mini-dress with a beautiful band of jewels under the chest. The fabric was a gorgeous silk. The second dress was purple with black ribbon at the top and the bottom. The last was also strapless. Blue with a black ribbon on the bottom hem and a black bow under my chest. I picked out the black dress, and a yellow dress with a huge petty coat and a pink bow around the waist for fun--I knew I would never wear it. Six new dresses total after I found a third laying on the floor. Alice insisted on paying for everything though, even the things I picked out on my own. I continued whining until the second she paid, and then I complained about how she shouldn't have done that. "I do have money," I mumbled angrily.

Alice only smiled.

We dropped the bags off in my car and ran across the street to the shoe store. We needed shoes to match our new clothes. Shifting through all the shoes, I glanced down the aisle at Alice. "You know, I've been thinking that I should just wear my old Converse for the pictures," I told her. "They look cute with anything. And I hate heels most of the time. Me, heels, and uneven ground is a sure ticket to a broken neck."

"Okay. You should add your own special touch anyway. So Converse it is."

"And we should make Edward a scrap book," I added. "It'll be a present."

"Good! Yes! This is so much fun."

I smiled. Shoes, belts, hats, jewelry, all sorts of things neither of us would ever wear, but we bought it all. I had the best time there, but it made me long for home, long for the sun too. But at the same time, the rain was perfect. I walked with Alice's skip to the next store--a book store. Our goal was to find a scrap book to show at the party, and another one for me to give to Edward. I spent another hour looking at books after we found two perfect scrap books, and then it was time to go home, stopping only at the bar and grill to make the reservation.

It was after ten when I got home. Dad had ordered pizza. I could tell he was disappointed when I told him I dropped Alice off at home. Of course, it was technically a lie. I dropped her off at the start of her street because she made me. I sort of got the feeling she was trying to keep me from Edward...

"How was shopping?" Dad asked from the couch.

"Awesome! It was amazing!"

"So I see," Charlie muttered as I attempted to carry as many bags as I could upstairs.

Tomorrow would be amazing too. After school, Edward would get to see me in "model mode" as Mom called it. A small hike, then we would take as many pictures as we could if the weather was nice. I was excited. When I reached my room, I knew Alice must have threatened Edward to make him stay away so he wouldn't see my new clothes. It took me a whole hour to put away the bags and bags of clothes. I went straight to bed after that, ready for it to be Wednesday. I wanted to be with Edward again, but I wasn't angry with Alice for keeping away--and I knew she did.


	15. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

I woke up early the next morning. Alice came in through the window, like Edward always had. We decided to go straight to the old shack after school, which meant we would have to pack my clothes, Edward's--which I kept so he couldn't peak--do my makeup and hair before school. If needed, we could fix anything that was messed up throughout the course of the way in the girl's bathroom at school or in a bathroom at the gas station near by.

Once we were ready, we put my outfits into the truck of my Acura--Alice couldn't decide if I would change or not--and started towards school. Alice told me Esme was going to set up the pictures so they all looked professional and that added to my excitement. Our scrap booking and memory making was an awesome idea. The moments we documented meant so much to me, especially the ones with Edward.

Edward was waiting when we got to school. Alice left to find Jasper, leaving us alone. "You look awesome!" Edward told me, playing with a stray piece of my hair.

"We're still on for Friday, right?" I asked. "Even though I get to meet Esme later and Alice is like my best friend here?"

Edward grinned. "Yes. Esme wants to get to know you and I want to show you a few things. You'll see. Don't ask. It's a secret until Friday."

I glared at him, wishing he would just tell me. "Oh, okay."

The day seemed to drag on more and more. Classes apparently got longer as the day went on. The classes without Edward were worse though. I suddenly wished Alice was in a few of my classes so we could at least talk about our plans for later. I could only dream and glance at the clock every few minutes. And that I did.

When lunch came, I practically ran out of class. Not because _class_ unbearable--because _Edward's absence_ was unbearable. I missed him like crazy between the ending of English and the beginning of lunch. Edward met me half way to the cafeteria. He took my bag. We were out in the open, but something felt secretive. That was our relationship though. This time, both Alice and Jasper joined us, which left Rosalie and Emmett alone in the corner. Neither of them seemed to mind, but I wanted to invite Emmett to join us. Unfortunately, wherever Emmett went, Rosalie followed.

"We'll have posters tomorrow," Alice was telling Jessica in an over-excited voice that scared me twice as much as before. "Party invitations so it's official. But we have to get the posters made today. We're getting right on it after school."

I nodded. "I'm so excited!" I exclaimed, and as terrified as I was, I was also excited. "So much better than sitting at home."

Edward sat next to me, sliding me a salad and a yogurt. I smiled at him. "It's my plan to make sure there's no way anyone doubts Timberlee is mine," he said quietly, like he was in pain again. "And I have to make sure the entire world knows she's mine too."

"Except Dad," I mumbled.

Edward grinned and nodded. "Except Chief Stone of course," he repeated. "But Friday, I think you should introduce me as your boyfriend," he whispered so only I could hear. "Or he might wonder why the entirety of your free time is spent with me or Alice. Little suspicious to me."

I laughed and shook my head at his reasoning. I knew he just felt guilty for not telling Charlie, like he was lying. Of course, I was the one lying, not him. I leaned back against him. His arms were around me as I ate the food he bought me. He could support my weight easily, and he did. Alice and Jasper were holding hands. Since I was taken, Jessica made her move on Mike because he had backed off a little, though he was obviously still jealous. Angela and Eric seemed to be getting along too. I was glad for my girlfriends. They each had a better change now to be with the boys they liked with me out of the way. Especially since Edward did his best to make sure they all knew we were together, particularly Mike. I glanced over my shoulder at Edward. Mike must have been thinking something Edward didn't approve of. That was all I could guess because I saw nothing wrong with Mike's current behavior, but Edward was glaring at him.

Biology somehow flew by, and then Gym took longer than any other class of the day. I guessed it was because Edward had made Biology tolerable. He made English bearable. Without him, school was completely boring. Dreaming about him hardly helped either. Probably because I knew Edward was somewhere on campus. His presence was better than dreams. It was better than anything. I wondered if he thought about me too. Did he ache for me as I ached for him? I Hoped so. Edward completed me, and I wanted to complete him, to make him feel the way I did.

When Gym ended, I changed into my jeans and ran out to my car to leave. Alice was waiting. Edward would follow us, but Alice showed me a bunch of paper grocery bags. She really wanted Edward to be completely surprised by my look, unable to see even the color of the fabric. Which made it even better that Edward couldn't read my mind.

From my rear view mirror, I saw Edward sulking behind me and laughed joyously. What more could I ask for that Edward didn't have? He was Romeo. He was my Knight in Shining Armor. Maybe not the shining part, but he was literally _my armor_, there to protect me from anything that came to hurt me. He would fight to protect me, fight for me. There was nothing more I could ask for.

Alice and I stopped at the gas station to make sure I looked perfect. Alice carried the grocery bags full of clothes. Edward carried me. To my surprise, Alice was almost as fast as Edward, even as small as she was. Edward set me down when we reached my clearing. It was exactly how I remembered it. Old trees, covered in moss. An old shack, falling apart, yet more beautiful than ever in its own wreckage. It was bigger than Edward's clearing, and more green, but there was no beautiful cliff or river to be seen. An old swing made out of two ropes and a rotting board, but it was as strong as ever. The old tree house I started on, but never quite finished, was still there. I could see an old vase I painted even. It was exactly how I left it. Completely untouched.

Esme ran over to hug me. We rocked back and forth several times. "Timberlee, I'm so glad we finally met!" she told me, looking me over from head to toe. "You and Edward are such an adorable couple!"

"You," Alice snapped at Edward, pointing at him in a threatening manner. "Go change into this," she instructed, stuffing a bag into his hands. "Five minutes. Esme wants to get some of each of you alone too."

Alice pulled me along to the shack. It was falling apart, but the walls were good. She handed me the black lace dress to put on first. "Think I should put on some perfume?" I asked, having Alice zip the side of my dress.

"No! You smell good. Edward loves how you smell."

I frowned, but I didn't say anything. My Converse on and tied, I looked down at my outfit. Ruffles of expensive lace wherever the fabric ended and even more down the front of the dress. It was beautiful, and I was ready. Just nervous.

When I came out of the shack, Esme was playing with Edward's hair as he impatiently tapped his foot. I smiled nervously at Alice when she gave me a little push. Edward turned. His face lit up into a huge smile, my favorite kind--crooked. "You look... hot," he admitted, and Esme smacked his stomach when I looked embarrassed.

"Let's get started!" Emmett exclaimed, trying to sound even more impatient than he was. "I want to see you two in action."

Edward rolled his eyes and led me to where the camera was pointed. He made me sit on the swing. He pushed me until I was swinging so high I swore I would fall off. But Edward was there to catch me if I did. I wasn't aware of when Esme was taking pictures. It didn't matter to me. I had my attention on Edward, the sound of his laughter behind me, and I didn't even know why he was laughing.

Edward came up in front of me. "You trust me, right?" he asked, a mischievous grin on his face.

"Of course!"

"Then jump," he told me. Trust was always a problem with me. But the way he said it... It made me think he thought I didn't trust him, even after everything. I nodded, and got into the perfect position. When I was swinging towards him, I let go and heaved myself from the board. I expected it to be hard when I landed, so hard it would knock the breath out of me. But Edward somehow managed to break my fall without inflicting any pain on me. I was laughing because _letting go felt good. Trusting him felt right._

Edward grinned at me, holding me in his strong arms, our eyes never leaving each other's face. I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else. My arms around his neck, in his arms like a baby, he spun me around, _laughing at my joy_. I had never know that feeling before, that kind of joy from any one my age. He was happy _because I was happy_ and I was happy _because I was with him._ It was perfect.

"You happy?" Edward whispered, stroking my hair.

I nodded because he obviously couldn't tell by the smile on my face. "The happiest I've ever been." I laughed again. "And who would have thought I would feel this way in Forks?"

Edward kissed my forehead softly. I closed my eyes, imagining the moment lasted a hundred times longer. Edward smiled. "Are you ready for another adventure?" he inquired, studying me as if to measure my strength.

I nodded. "As long as you have some, small part in it."

He pulled me along to flat spot on the ground. I frowned in confusion--how was that an adventure? Edward sat down, legs crossed, and I sat on his lap without any hesitation or resistance when he asked me to. He put his arms around my waist. As cold as his skin was through my dress, I found some kind of warmth there. His touch was as gentle and caring as ever, but it was more passionate this time. "I came up with a nickname for you," he announced in my ear.

I wished I could see his face then, but I couldn't. "What is it?"

_"Ma Vie,"_ he whispered in my ear, and kissed the base of my neck. I couldn't recall what _vie_ meant, but _ma_ meant my. I knew that. But the meaning wasn't even important. Edward's voice told me it was something good enough to satisfy me, so I didn't bother searching my memory for the answer. I closed my eyes, incandescently happy, and Edward started humming that familiar lullaby.

I smiled, chewing on my lip again. "What's your number twenty?" I asked.

"Mm, I'll have to think about it." Edward stood. It wasn't much of a photo shoot before, but the determined look on his face told me he was going to change things then. "Let's see the model at work," he said with my favorite crooked grin.

I had him pull me to my feet and I realized both Rosalie and Carlisle had arrived sometime during our distraction. Rosalie's attention was on Emmett and Carlisle was talking quietly with Alice. Esme was still taking pictures. I was slightly embarrassed because everyone, minus Rosalie, was watching. I glanced at Edward for the reassurance I needed, then made him turn around, and I jumped on his back. He only laughed. "So should I climb a tree or something?" he asked, but before I could reply, we were in my tree house. I laid down on the wood, which was somehow dry, even though the roof was falling apart. Edward laid beside me.

My hands gripping the end of the wood, I looked at Edward. He was propped up on his elbows, staring at me. No words were spoken after that. Esme must have taken a million pictures, none of which I was aware of when. Many in my tree house, now our tree house. Our laughing must have ruined a great deal of them, but that didn't matter to me. We were together. I had never had so much fun on a photo shoot before, even with Rosalie glaring at me, and the whispers about how cute we were together. If we were together, I would give up LA, my modeling career, and all the plans I made, if I could only be with Edward.

The rain cut our fun short. We packed everything up. Edward carrying me on his back, we all ran back to the cars together. They were all so fast we beat the rain. Esme hugged me. Carlisle smiled at me. Emmett laughed when I tripped over a rock. Alice told me I was part of the family. Jasper even whispered an awkward "goodbye". Only Rosalie was yet to accept me. Edward looked as uncomfortable as I felt with his whole family watching, but he kissed my lips. "Ma Vie," he whispered.

My happiness brought me to tears, hugging Edward's waist, unwilling to let go. Ever. but it was getting late. I would have all night to look at the pictures because Esme had used my camera, which I was completely unaware of until she handed it to me. I would get to see all of them. I had until Sunday to make my scrap book for Edward. Alice promised to design posters if I emailed her my favorite pictures. She said my top ten, but I had a feeling that it would be impossible to chose. On top of Edward's special scrap book, I wanted to make one of the less intimate moments for everyone at the party to look at. I would have between dinner and around ten to get my start. I would make dinner, eat, then go upstairs to order prints of all the pictures I wanted. I would write comments and plan decorations for each page until it was time to pick up the prints tomorrow.

I just fixed some frozen pot pies for dinner, and it was impossible to stand waiting, so I excused myself and ran upstairs with my food. I plugged the camera into my computer. It took quite a while for all the pictures to upload. When they did, I started to look through them.

To my surprise, none of them were blurry at all, which told me the camera cost way more than I thought at first. Esme was an excellent photographer too! She took all the pictures in the perfect moments, though a few made me blush when I realized the entire Cullen family had seen every moment captured.

My top ten was much easier to choose than I thought it would be. First was one right after Edward caught me when I jumped off the swing. We were both laughing and it looked edited. But it wasn't. It was real, completely untouched. The next was one of him sitting on the ground, looking thoughtful, running a hand through his hair. I was behind him, my hair falling into my face, my hand placed perfectly on his back. He looked so buff next to me. I was tiny compared to him. Third was one of us in the tree house, looking at each other, just visiting, but we were both smiling shyly like it was our first date. Number four was of me on my tip toes just to be able to kiss his chin, his hands on my back. While it was intimate to a certain point, it was too cute not to send to Alice. I was sure she would agree, and she would probably be angry if I didn't use it.

Five was of us standing together, my back to his front, his hands on my stomach, one of my hands on the back of his neck, and my head turned up and back slightly so I could catch a glimpse of his face. Six was when I was flying through the air, Edward ready to catch me. Seven made me laugh. I was trying to position Edward's face perfectly for the camera, but he kept distorting it so I would laugh, and I made a face of fake frustration to get him to stop. But he didn't. Eight: I was seated on the ground. Edward was standing. We weren't doing anything special. But we were staring at each other. Few would notice that detail, but it was the first thing I noticed.

Nine was of us jumping off the tree house together, holding hands. The picture was the only of its kind because Edward had to move so he could catch me before I hit the ground, and he blocked the camera in the process. Last, number ten was of just our hands. His pale, muscular, and marble, mine tan and slim, disappearing in his. Something about it touched me. It seemed like one of those book covers to the perfect love stories. But it wasn't.

I added number eleven too because I loved it. It was of us on the swing together. He was standing on one end. I was on the other. His arm was around me, gripping my waist with one hand, the rope with the other. I was smiling at him.

All of these, plus another six hundred, twenty-nine, I ordered prints of, unable to stop myself. I couldn't narrow down the list, so I decided not to bother. Mom would be interested in if Edward could model too, which would be the first thing she wondered when she saw our pictures. He was pretty good, but I didn't know if it had more to do with his ability or Esme's photography--I didn't pay attention to that. All I could do was watch those pictures flash across my computer screen as I did my homework and did what I could for my scrap book, and that was all. I couldn't concentrate on anything else.


	16. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Thursday flew by, and I worked harder on Edward's scrap book after school. Alice had promised to help me put together the photo display and scrap book for the guests at the party to look at Friday. Esme wanted to help. The fliers Alice made were absolutely perfect.

My number one faded into my number three in the background. The words were centered on the flier. It looked unreal, and Alice obviously spent a long time on it. They were in every person's hands, covering the lockers, and son on.

Friday was slow. I finished one scrap book between school and 6:30 when Edward promised to pick me up, the one for Edward. I heard him pull up, and mouthed to him to stay outside from my bedroom window, and ran downstairs to talk to Charlie. I handed him a beer, hoping it would keep us on good terms for at least the next ten or fifteen minutes--I didn't know how long it would take to get both myself and Edward out of there. "You look nice," Charlie commented, looking surprised like he'd never seen me dressed in something other than jeans and a t-shirt. "Plans for tonight?"

I nodded, still recovering from his surprised look, and trying to decide if I should be offended or not. "Yeah, I actually have a date tonight."

Dad looked up at me again. The surprise was still there, just for another reason. "With who?"

There was no way he would let me go out with anyone unless he knew, and Edward wanted to meet him. So I decided to just tell the truth, even if it got me a year long lecture after my date. "Edward Cullen," I answered quietly, hearing Edward's steps on the front porch.

"I thought you decided to avoid dating."

"Yeah, I did originally, but then I got to thinking about it. I do eventually want to get married, and not when I'm sixty. So I decided to just be more selective with the guys I date," I explained. "Edward's outside. He wants to meet you... Officially."

Dad was silent for what felt like an hour. I swore I could hear Edward's foot tapping impatiently on the front porch, which didn't help at all. Finally, Dad let out a sigh, over-dramatic and loud enough to be heard upstairs. "All right. Show him in," he said, but I noticed how his hand moved towards his gun, which he had cleaned earlier the day.

I chewed on my lip, wondering if I should say anything. What was I supposed to say? Don't shoot Edward? I closed my eyes. "Uh... Can you be nice?" I asked apologetically--I knew how much Charlie just wanted to shoot all my boyfriends. "He's really important."

Charlie used a finger to make a halo over his head, but the look on his face told me he didn't mean it. He had never met any of my other boyfriends before. I knew Charlie's approval was important to Edward. It was important to me too, but it was a little too late for Charlie to object to our affections. I walked with Edward back into the kitchen, touching his arm lightly with mine.

"Chief Stone," Edward said in a respectful tone, and I cringed at the thought of what Charlie was thinking right then. Edward was listening to it all too! "I'm Edward Cullen."

"Hi, Edward. Call me Charlie," Dad said in a cool tone, but at least he wasn't holding a gun or threatening him with words, right? Although to Edward, threatening him in the thoughts was about the same.

"Don't worry. I'll have your daughter home before too late."

"What do you two plan to do?"

I glanced up at Edward. Charlie was less likely to explode if he heard it from me, so I answered quietly, "We're going to have dinner." Or at least so Edward had claimed. He didn't eat... "And Alice is helping us plan our party on Sunday too," I added cautiously.

"Your party? When did it become your party? Before it was a party."

I nodded, exchanging another glance with Edward. He looked casual, brave, and offered no support. I elbowed him in the ribs in annoyance. "Well, it was our party all along," I answered casually, trying to put out the fire I knew would eventually start up. "You're invited if you want to come. It's not just teenagers. I mean, we're not trying to hide anything." Charlie faked a gag in the most immature manner possible, and I glared at him. "I'll see you later."

"She'll be safe with me, sir," Edward said, handing me my purse.

"Uh-huh. I've heard that one before."

I grinned as I headed for the door, Edward behind me. Once the front door was shut behind us, I glanced at him. "He's never once heard that before," I told Edward. Edward's Volvo was still running. He opened my door for me, like he always did. I realized I had never been to his house before and when I went even close to drop Alice off, it was too dark to get a good mental map in my head. So I paid close attention the roads so I could find my way up their long, winding driveway.

Their house was huge and gorgeous, unlike anything I would expect to see anywhere in Forks. Alice ran out to greet me. We hugged. Edward walked inside with us, but we were busy chatting about the party plans. Once we were in the kitchen, I pulled out the guest scrap book to show everyone. Esme and Alice were most excited, but Carlisle, Jasper, and Emmett also gathered around to see. The very first picture brought a huge, belly laugh from Emmett. It captured a classic moment of my relationship with Edward--me tripping and Edward catching me before I could fall on my face. I grinned at Emmett when I thought I saw him wiping away tears. "Yeah, I did that just for you," I told him, and he only laughed harder.

Edward kept his arm around me as we looked through. It took about ten minutes to change each page. Only because each member of the Cullen family wanted to point out two or three details in each picture, and then another member would want to comment on it, argue about it, or just chat about it. And then it brought up an argument over when to change the page, which both Carlisle and Esme ignored like it was totally normal.

In the back of the book was a packet of pictures we still had to put in. Alice, Edward, and I sat at a gorgeous antique table to start with our main project for the night--finishing it. Esme was in the kitchen fixing me a snack, which she insisted on, so I gave in. It smelled excellent!

"No! We're not putting that in there!" Edward snapped at Alice. "I'm keeping it."

"Which one?" I asked Alice with a grin.

"I don't know. He won't let me see it," Alice replied, glaring at Edward.

I took it from Edward. I'd seen all the pictures, so there was no reason for him to refuse. In the picture, he was seated on the ground and I was leaning against his chest, smiling through a bright red blush. He was kissing my cheek. I laughed, looking at Edward. "What's so special about this picture?" I asked, showing it to Alice.

"Your blush," Edward answered simply. "Reddest I've ever seen you."

"You're mean!" I exclaimed, pretending to be angry.

"Put it in the album, Edward," Alice exclaimed in a warning tone. I smiled at the thought of tiny Alice taking on Edward.

Edward finally gave in. He shoved it into the scrap book stubbornly. I laughed with Alice. We continued on with our work. Half way through, I decided to move from my chair to Edward's lap. He didn't object. Instead, he put his arms around me as Esme handed me my "snack", which was actually a huge plate of food. But I had no objections after I smelled it. Chicken, rice, salad, plus a small plate of fruit salad with two pieces of banana nut bread. It all looked so delicious! As I ate, we finished the last details. Alice ran off to find Jasper. Edward kept kissing my neck and shoulders, even while I ate. As soon as I finished, Esme snatched away my plate. "Do you play any chess?" she asked, stopping short.

"Uh... I know how to, but I'm not very good," I admitted.

"The ability's fine!" Alice exclaimed, returning with Jasper. "Edward is undefeated because he cheats."

"It's not cheating!" Edward snapped. "It's not my fault."

"How does he win?" I asked, trying to settle the childish argument.

"Reading our minds. But he can't read yours. So you have to beat him. Even if it's not tonight, you beating him will be the best thing that ever happened to us, _after_ you moving here of course," Alice explained to me in an over-excited tone, setting up the chess board for us. "No pressure, but we're all counting on you to beat him! You have to put him in his place so he can't brag about being undefeated."

I laughed and moved to another chair. I was competitive, but there was supposedly no pressure, even with all the Cullen family relying on me. I knew the rules of chess. I understood the game, but I was out of practice. Just the same, I didn't hesitate to make the first move.

Chess lasted much longer than I wanted it to, but it was still fun. Alice and Emmett made bets on the game even. Alice bet on me because Edward couldn't read my mind. Emmett bet on Edward because I was inexperienced and he showed no remorse in announcing that he thought I would ruin the board by accidentally knocking it off the table. Which caused an outburst from me. However, one person doubting me was more than enough to get me to the over-competitive side.

The game lasted two hours, forty-six minutes, and nine seconds by Carlisle's watch. And that number seemed accurate. Alice won a total of five hundred dollars from Emmett. But the best part was to see Emmett's face when he was forced to pay up. Edward was no longer undefeated, but he didn't sulk. I kissed his cheek, still laughing at the memory of Emmett sulking. Edward stood and pushed the chairs in. He grabbed my hand and led the way through a door. A gorgeous grand piano, a bench, and a love seat was all that was in it. I stopped. "Do you play?" I asked.

Edward smiled, making me sit on the love seat. He sat at the piano. I curled up into a ball, anxious to hear him play. He played so many songs. Finally, I concluded that he was the composer. I didn't recognize any of the pieces, and they were too beautiful to be written by anyone else anyway. I recognized the lullaby and moved to the piano bench next to him. "You inspired this one," he told me quietly.

It made sense then. _It was my lullaby._ Edward hummed it to me when he stayed the night because he wrote it for me. I smiled, resting my chin on his shoulder as he continued.

Edward played so many songs. They were peaceful, passionate, and so much more, but they weren't Beethoven or Mozart. They each reminded me of Edward's character. Caring, but dangerous when angry. We spent hours in that room. Carlisle found us there. Edward playing another song, me watching his face, and hands from my seat on the bench next to him. Edward saw Carlisle first, stopped playing, which alerted me.

Carlisle was leaning against the door frame. "It's after ten," he told Edward, glancing at Alice as she appeared next to him.

"We all want to adopt Timberlee, but Chief Stone will probably have us all arrested if she isn't home soon," Alice said, grinning at me.

Edward smiled, and I couldn't tell in that light, but I thought he looked embarrassed. It was getting late, but I didn't want to go. Still, Alice was right and Edward knew it was well as I did. He stood. The ride back to Charlie's was fast. He slowed to the speed limit only when we were in my neighborhood. Edward opened the door for me. I smiled at him. "We still on for the hike tomorrow?" I asked, leaning against his Volvo.

Edward nodded. "Yes, ma'am. Ten okay?"

"Fine," I replied, and that's when Charlie burst through the front door. Since Edward was in front of me, blocking Charlie's view, I rolled my eyes in annoyance. Edward turned after flashing me a grin. "Hey, Dad," I called awkwardly.

"Hi there," Charlie said, looking Edward over critically.

I stood in the silence for a moment, Edward's hand squeezing mine where Charlie couldn't see. "Um... I'll see you around, Edward," I said quietly.

Edward nodded. "Tomorrow, ten," he whispered so Charlie couldn't hear."Ma Vie."

I smiled, and watched him get back into his Volvo. As he started down the road, I slowly backed up the sidewalk to the front porch. Charlie was standing in the door way when I turned. He looked like he was about to cry. I raised an eyebrow. "Dad, I'm only sixteen. He's only seventeen. We're not going anywhere," I told him when he continued to stare down the road after Edward.

"That's the point," Charlie muttered, sighing loudly. "You're sixteen. You should wait a few more years."

I closed my eyes, remembering how Edward said _You inspired this one._ Then I cleared my throat, hoping Charlie couldn't see the expression on my face at that memory. "Okay, I promise that if this doesn't work out, I won't date anyone else until after high school," I promised and pushed past Charlie and ran up to my room. Tomorrow was Saturday and we were going hiking again. Sunday was our party, and it just kept getting better. I fell asleep to the memory of Edward at the piano playing my lullaby and the sound of his voice as he whispered "Ma Vie", stroking my cheek gently.


	17. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Edward took my hand gently. His words were soft. His eyes were caring. I felt so comfortable. We were in this meadow, sitting in the grass together. Our hike had been short, and I suspected that Edward had explored quite a bit before he picked me up. But I didn't mind. He let me hike at least, even if he made it extremely easy, more easy than needed, and helped me whenever he thought I needed it.

There was no extraordinary sites or things to see there. It was so simple. Fog surrounded us in a thick mist, wrapping itself around the trees. Trees were just as green as anywhere else in Forks. The rain was just as heavy. The sky was just as cloudy. But there was something even more beautiful about this specific meadow. And NATO because Edward was there. It just had this strange, mysterious, natural beauty I found strange, intriguing.

Edward smiled at me, stroking my cheek like he was wiping away tears that weren't there. "I used to come here all the time. It reminds me of you," he told me.

"Why?" I asked with a small laugh.

"It's so beautiful and it doesn't know it," Edward said, and my smile faded. "It's not air brushed or the kind of beauty that takes hours to make. It's just there. It's the best kind of beauty."

I looked around the meadow. This meadow represented Edward in the same way. He didn't know how beautiful he was, how good he was, but everyone else around him could see it. I laid down to stare up into the cloudy sky. Against all odds, clouds without any hint of blue behind them were suddenly beautiful to me. Clouds meant I could be with Edward and they too represented us somehow. The clouds were like secrets, masking the true sky. They were hiding something, but that didn't matter because every once in a while, a small truth came out, and those truths were enough to keep us going.

Edward laid next to me. For some reason, we didn't even talk. We just laid there in the fog, staring at each other. Words were easy and difficult at the same time. They were so simple to speak, but putting what we felt into words wasn't the same. Kisses were useless and didn't last forever. Touch was temporary. But this... This was perfect. It was somehow more intimate than anything else. We were alone, undisturbed, and it was such a beautiful thing, though there was nothing special about this meadow to anyone else.

Mom chose the worst times to call. I sat up to answer, smiling at Edward apologetically. "Hey, Mom!" I answered, feeling embarrassed that she chose that moment to call me for whatever reason she had. It could have been something as small as wanting to know the latest gossip or something as big as wanting to know how my relationship with Edward was.

"You will never guess where I am, baby," Mom said in an over-excited tone, which left me a little scared. But she sounded so alive and happy. It rang off her voice, so the happiness I felt for her canceled out my worry.

"Where?" I inquired.

"I'm at the airport in Port Angeles with Michael," Mom exploded, quite obviously smiling.

"What? Mom!" I exclaimed. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming? I could have come picked you guys you."

"No, we have a rental. Your dad told me about the party tomorrow and I couldn't stay away. I'm sorry if you're embarrassed, but I had to!"

I laughed, glancing at Edward. "No, I'm glad you came."

"Where are you now? I want to look over the party arrangements, see if I can help with anything."

"Um... I'm out with Edward right now, Ma." I laughed in embarrassment, imagining what her reply would be. "How about I meet you at the bar and grill outside Port Angeles? Alice, Edward's sister, is shopping there right now actually. We can all meet there around two and we can hang out, work on the decorations until dinner, eat, and then come back here."

"Yes! Yes. And bring Edward!" Mom exclaimed.

"No. You don't get to meet him until tomorrow." I had already started to notice the pattern. Edward was more uncomfortable with me making sudden movements or even having me close. The darker his eyes, the harder it was for him to be near me. And his eyes were as dark as I'd ever seen them. "Me and Alice will meet you there, okay?"

"Okay, fine. Do I get to talk to him?"

"I'll let you hear his voice," I mumbled and put the phone to Edward's ear.

"Hello," Edward said, grinning at me.

I snatched the phone away. "And the rest is for tomorrow," I said, wanting to surprise Mom as much as possible.

"He sounds so pleasant! So soft, calm, sweet. Oh, I don't even know how to describe it. It's like..."

"You don't have to describe it, Ma. I talk to him every day." I let Edward pull me to my feet. "Um, listen. I've gotta go, but two o'clock, outside Port Angeles on your way to Forks, left side of the road, there's a bar and grill. Myself and Alice will meet you there so you can help us set up the decorations and chat and everything."

"All right," Mom sighed, disappointed that she wouldn't get to meet Edward.

"I'll see you later." I hung up and Edward put me on his back to rush me home. Charlie was surprised to see us back home again so early, but he looked pleased too. "Hey, Dad!" I greeted. "Mom just got into Port Angeles. Since our party is tomorrow, I decided Edward should go spend some time alone so we can work out the final details." I smiled at Edward, thinking he would probably just go do whatever he usually did to make his eyes topaz again. "I'll see you around, okay?" I kissed his cheek before he turned to leave. "They said one, but any time's fine," I called after him.

"Alice is picking you up. I'm not allowed to see you until the party. But after--if it's all right with you, Chief Stone--I'll take you out somewhere."

"Where?" I asked.

"Surprise," Edward told me. "Please, do come tomorrow, Chief Stone. It means a lot to Timberlee."

I nodded. "It does, Dad."

"Stop whining, Timberlee, and go meet your mother," Charlie muttered. He was mostly trying to get rid of Edward and Edward caught the hint. He smiled at me once more and left quickly. Charlie sighed in relief, like the air was suddenly capable of breathing in.

I grabbed my purse from upstairs and my leather jacket. On the way there, I told Alice the plan. We would meet in the party supply store before we went to meet Mom at two. I made the ride there as fast as I could. Alice greeted me with a huge hug. I laughed happily. SHe was like the sister I never had. Big sister of course.

"Well, your dress is silver, and your pumps are too. Edward's suit is black, but I just find this amazing silver tie that matches your dress perfectly, so we're gonna make him wear that. I want the decorations to be really simple actually. Other than the scrap book we made, the poster I made, and then the roses on every table. I found the most beautiful crystal table set. We'll use that."

"Alice, we don't want it to look like a wedding," I said quietly.

"It won't! But it's important. I say themes should be red. Like all different shades of red to go with the roses, and then some white too. It's gonna look so good! I promise everything will be perfect!" Alice smiled. "Unfortunately," she continued, allowing her voice to sound sad for a half second, then she perked up again. "We're not able to serve alcohol to most of our guests, but Esme got this really great sparking grape juice that tastes about the same. We got soda, coffee, juice, water, and so on. Lots and lots of food. I told them steak, roast beef, all kinds of stuff. We've got some good appetizers too," Alice told me.

I smiled. She truly loved parties. She was so excited for us. I loved the way she doted on me, even if it was slightly obnoxious at times. It was like she was my big sister, completely ready to make sure I would never be unhappy. She made me feel good and she always had this life just radiating off her. It wasn't the same feeling Edward gave me. She made me feel like an adored younger sister, even though I wasn't sure which of us was older. We were both juniors.

Mom was waiting when we got there. I hugged her first, rocking back and forth as she cried into my shoulder. Michael was laughing. Alice was smiling at me while Mom looked me over as if to check to see if I'd lost any weight or if I'd lost color in my skin. "You look so beautiful, baby," Mom told me, wiping her eyes. "I'm so proud of you. Adjusting to life here."

I smiled and gave Michael a one-armed hug. He was almost as tall as I was finally. We always knew he would be much taller than me eventually and he was shooting up int he air. "Alice, this is my mom Nancy and my little brother Michael. This is Alice Cullen, Edward's sister."

"You're so pretty!" Mom told Alice. "I'm glad you're here to help my little girl. Okay, tell me the plans so far."

"Well, we rented the party room for two days so we could set everything up today and concentrate on the couple of honor tomorrow," Alice explained, hugging my arm.

I smiled at Mom. "We have white table clothes with red ribbons. Edward and I will be at the front of the room. The center piece is most important. Alice has games planned--"

"I wanted Edward and Timberlee to be the center of attention through the whole party," Alice started. "So the games are all about them, like where they met, where their first kiss was, and so on. We have room for dancing, all their favorite songs. Plus presents, but I think we'll open the presents after the party. We're gonna have so much fun!"

We got right to work after Alice finished explaining the plans for tomorrow. Michael and I brought in the tables, arranging them so everyone would be able to see Edward and myself at our table. Mom helped Alice lay out the table clothes perfectly. I noticed the red on the hem and realized Alice was basing the entire theme off the table clothes. Mom set up the plates. Like Alice told me, they were an exquisite crystal with flower details on them.

I worked on the display in the corner while Alice fussed over my table. They crystal was clear, and there was no flower details on the plates she was setting out on my table. The roses were red. It was the only table that was any different at all. Alice had a large amount of talent when it came to bringing the eye to a certain spot in the room. It looked awesome!

The display table in the corner was littered with rose peddles, which was Alice's suggestion. The poster was huge! Covered in pictures of myself and Edward. All my top eleven and so many more. It looked like it was professionally made, but I knew Alice had done it herself. She did an excellent job! I swore to pin the poster up on my wall when the party was over. And I had a feeling I would have to fight Edward for it too...

The scrap book we made together was laid open on the rose peddles. I realized they were fake, but they must have cost tones because they fooled me at first. They even smelled like real rose peddles! The presents table was in the other corner. Two from Alice, one from Esme and Carlisle, one from Emmett and Jasper, seven from Edward. I cringed after I counted them. One was tiny. One was huge. They all varied in size, and I was sure I would need Alice's help to find him that many or even half that many. We wouldn't get anything from Charlie, except maybe time together without him holding a shot gun. Michael and Mom put their present on the table too with its non-matching wrapping paper. But it wasn't hard to guess what Mom would give us. I wanted to know what Edward and his family got us though! But I wouldn't ruin the day for Alice and whine about opening presents now so I didn't feel guilty when nobody else showed up with presents. I knew they would ask if they were supposed to bring some when they saw that.

"Oh, my!" Mom exclaimed when she saw the poster. "He's absolutely stunning! Timberlee, you've got the most handsome boy around."

I grinned. "I have no doubt of that, Ma."

"He would look excellent with blue eyes. Or maybe green," she commented.

"No, I like his eyes," I told her. "They're so unique. You'd be surprised how cool they are. And anyway, I wouldn't change one thing about him if I had a change. He's perfect!"

"He certainly seems romantic," Mom said, looking at my number one. "Beautiful smile."

I nodded thoughtfully. "So, Ma, what's Ted doing while you're gone?"

"He's in New York for a week. Perfect timing! I'm so glad you chose this weekend to have this party. I would have cried for a month if I hadn't been able to come see my baby and her boyfriend."

I closed my eyes in embarrassment, unbelievably happy Edward wasn't there. First few hours with Mom after a long absence were always awkward and weird for me. I was used to it, but Edward would probably think it was weird. "Michael, won't Katy miss you?"

"Sure, but I have to approve Edward," Michael told me with a grin. "And Mom was about to shoot me in the head if I didn't shut up about Katy while you got a new boyfriend."

I smiled. Michael's girlfriend Katy was usually welcomed, as well as any conversation about her. But Mom tended to switch back and forth between being interested and annoyed by their relationship, depending on my relationship status. "Oh, Mom, you'll love Esme! She took all the pictures. She's like the sweetest person alive. I love her!"

"Oh, I wish I could meet them all now," Mom said, crying again.

"I made a scrap book of me and Edward, plus another one of all my other friends for you," I told Mom--I knew that would cheer her up. "You can look at 'em later tonight, but you get to meet everyone--including Esme--tomorrow at the party. Ugh. I don't know how I stood any of those other boyfriends and their families. They were horrible compared to the Cullens. You have no idea. They're all friendly and supportive." I decided to leave out Rosalie because Mom was in such a good mood. No need to ruin it with someone who was making premature judgments. "It's like a fairytale or something."

"Honey, you've never been so happy before. Never." Mom sighed, crying harder than ever. "I just hope you won't get hurt. It's only been a month."

I nodded. "Yeah, I know, Ma. But even though things are moving fast, it's not so fast that I feel overwhelmed. And we've been close anyway. It's really not that deep. Small things are more important to big things at this point."

"Like what?"

I smiled, feeling uncomfortable talking about this in front of Alice and even Michael, who would no doubt bring it up when he had his talk with Edward. "Um... He plays piano, and he wrote this song for me. It's this beautiful lullaby. You have no idea how romantic and perfect that was to me. Yesterday night, he was playing it for me. The way he said, 'you inspired this one'... And it wasn't even his voice. _It was the meaning he put into his voice._"

"Is he as respectful as you say though?" Mom asked, concerned.

I nodded quickly. "He's never made a movie that made me feel uncomfortable. He's gentle in everything he does. He doesn't even kiss me that often. He touches my cheek instead and he noticed my eyes, colors that bring them out more than others even. It's hard to believe he's real."

Mom hugged me again, tighter this time. "I'm glad to see you happy. You glow even more when you talk about him. It's beautiful! And I don't blame him for loving you."

I laughed. Mom was the most doting mother I'd ever known. I was extremely glad she was mine, even if she had adopted me and she could be a little embarrassing sometimes. She was the perfect kind of mother for me. She let me make my own decisions, and she supported them. It was important to me that I had her behind me, and Michael. Charlie's support was important, but he was my dad, so it wasn't the same thing. I understood that he wouldn't always like my boyfriends and that he would find it really hard to be even decent towards them.

It was after eight when we finished the decorations. Alice excused herself to go home when Mom invited her to stay for dinner. Dinner was unusually quiet because we were all starving. On top of that, we wanted to make sure all the food was good enough to serve at the party tomorrow. After dinner, Michael announced he was riding home with me. Mom drove the rental car behind us. It was finally Saturday night, and tomorrow was my party. Our party. Mine and Edward's. As excited as I was, I was suddenly terrified too because I wasn't sure what Alice planned to do with me in the morning when she came over to help me get ready.


	18. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Alice entertained Charlie, Mom, and Michael while I showered upstairs. I had no doubt that she was trying to convince Charlie to come. My guess was that she already had a suit for him even, not that he would wear it if he came. When I walked downstairs, I wore a clean set of pajamas. "But it's important to her," Alice was pleading with Charlie, looking to Michael and Mom for support. "Your presence would be enough, even if you don't talk to anyone and glare at Edward the whole time. You just being there says that you don't resent her for deciding to give up the no-dating rule."

I entered the kitchen then. Mom handed me a cup of coffee with a smile. "Let's get started. I want to get you dressed up perfectly," Alice told me. She pulled me upstairs quickly, and I couldn't help sending Michael an annoyed look to make him laugh--his laugh always lightened my mood. My makeup bag, hair curler, and anything else she could possibly need was on the counter. I sat, my back to the mirror and in only my strapless bra and my pajama bottoms. Neither of us wanted to risk ruining my makeup when I went to take my t-shirt off.

Alice dried my hair into curls. I was used to people dressing me up like that from the modeling I'd done, but the way Alice did it made me nervous. Especially because I wasn't allowed to look until she finished. I wasn't going to do a fashion show in front of people I don't know either. I was going to a party with Edward. My hair twice as curly as normal, but neater than it would have been usually, it was time to do my makeup.

I was glad Alice went for natural colors instead of dark eye makeup like most would. Bronze that, I know, brought out the color of my eyes. A pink blush that just added a little more color to my cheeks. All together, it took two hours to get it just the way Alice wanted, and I was about to go crazy. And the caffeine in my coffee didn't help any.

Alice covered my eyes so I couldn't catch even a glimpse of myself as she ran me past the full length mirror in my room. She helped me into my silver mini-dress with the beautiful, yet fake, crystals under my chest. Like Alice said, it did show off my legs. The four inch heels added to the length of my legs. Alice put her hands over my eyes again, leading me in front of the mirror this time. She moved her hands. I smiled at my reflection. _I looked pretty_.

"Let's go show your mom!" Alice suggested, and she had no idea how Mom would react.

Shyly, I started downstairs. Mom and Michael had seen me like that before in modeling shows or photo shoots. But it was Charlie's reaction I was most worried about. Alice entered the kitchen before me to prepare them all and make sure no one was looking at anything else when I walked in, which didn't help. Everyone was waiting for me. Taking a deep breath, I stepped around the corner, just as shy and timid as I felt. Mom burst into tears immediately. "You look beautiful, baby!" she cried, looking me over after a hug.

I smiled awkwardly. Charlie looked amazed, a little sad too. I would have taken it like he didn't know I was pretty until his lips twisted into a small smile. But he didn't say anything, and it was probably just because he was on the verge of tears too. He wasn't as emotional as Mom, but he was just as attached to me as she was. I glanced around, wishing someone would say something instead of just staring at me like they were. From the window, I saw an Aston Martin car pull up. Edward stepped out. A black suit, a white shirt, and a silver tie loosely hung around his neck. I smiled again, more genuine this time.

"He didn't!" Alice exclaimed, sounding truly surprised, and I'd never heard that from her before. Of course, she was too busy playing with my hair and makeup to notice anything other than what looked best. "He wasn't supposed to come!"

"No, no, I want to see him," I said quickly in Edward's defense. Charlie's furious look was bad enough. He didn't need Alice glaring at him too. "Answer the door for me, Ma," I told her because I knew she wanted to. I ran upstairs as fast as I could to avoid Edward seeing me. Michael laughed when he heard me trip over the last stair, but at last I was out of sight. I couldn't understand what Mom was saying to Edward, but I could clearly distinguish all the voices. "Timberlee, honey!" Mom called, sounding more excited than I was even. I came downstairs at a slower pace to be safe and because I was so nervous I thought I would pass out if I ran anywhere.

When I walked into the kitchen, Edward's face lit up. He smiled, and I smiled back. I was self-conscious that he wouldn't find me so pretty when I was wearing a bunch of makeup, even if it did look natural. Finally, he took my hand and spun me around carefully, like he knew I would fall over. But I managed to stay on my feet, even when I lost my balance. Edward's smile widened. "You look perfect," he told me.

I chewed on my bottom lip shyly, not wanting to smile too much while Dad was watching. "You look really nice too."

"Are you ready to leave? I have to stop for gas. I'm sorry, but my tank's not full."

"You never told me you had a Vanquish," I said accusingly.

"I apologize for that. I only use it for special occasions. And you never told me you knew so much about cars," Edward replied, putting an arm around my waist. "I'm sorry for ruining the plan, Alice. I just couldn't wait to see her."

We glanced at Alice to see if she was angry. "It's fine. Go on! You have an hour long drive. We have to make sure everything's still perfect."

Mom kissed my cheek, still crying. Only twice as hard now because she saw how Edward looked by my side. "I'll be ready as soon as I can and come straight over," she promised. Then she turned to Edward and smiled at him pleasantly. "You two be safe. I love you."

"Love you too, Mom," I replied, and smiled at Dad on our way out. It felt a lot like I thought prom would, and that was just as scary. Edward's Aston Martin Vanquish was black and wet from the rain. It was awesome! Edward opened my door for me with a breath-taking smile. I stepped inside. Black leather seats that smelled brand new still. I knew quite a bit about cars from when I was looking to buy a good car for myself. I got an Acura RL though, not an Aston Martin.

Edward grinned at me again when he stepped inside. "Should we go in the gas station together?" he asked, revving the engine. But he already knew my answer, so I was silent as we started towards the gas station on the way to Port Angeles.

"If you only use it for special occasions, why is it almost out of gas?" I asked suspiciously. "Special occasions I don't know about recently?"

"No. Alice borrowed it a few days ago," Edward answered easily. "She had to drive into Canada to get those crystal table sets, and the fake rose pedals too."

"She went all the way to Canada for those?"

Edward nodded. "Yeah, but she enjoyed it. Don't tell her I said anything though. I promised I wouldn't spill all the details."

"Okay," I replied as we pulled into the gas station. they couldn't see through the tinted windows, but everyone was staring anyway. Edward opened my door quickly. An arm around me, we walked inside together.

"You want some water or something?" Edward asked me, but he pulled out two bottles of water before I could answer. "Snack?"

"Do they have crepes?" I joked.

Edward grinned. "Sorry. Alice told me you haven't eaten anything yet, so I insist you get something."

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. Leave it to the people who never eat to force me to eat more than I can. "Remind me to thank her," I muttered with heavy sarcasm as I went to find something to eat that Edward would approve of. In the end, I just got a bagel. Edward paid and handed me one of the waters and my bagel as we headed back out to the car. I sat in the car, examining the dash board and expensive leather, nibbling on my bagel as he filled up the tank. I glanced at him every few seconds. He was so handsome in his suit! His hair was even more messy than usual, which told me Esme hadn't gotten a hold of him that morning, but I liked it that way. It brought out some other color than white in his face somehow and his eyes glowed even more somehow too. Before I moved to Forks, I had never seen eyes like his. They were topaz again. But his entire family's were the same. They changed back and forth in unison from topaz to a black. With their eyes, dark rings under their eyes came and went. The darker their eyes, the darker the rings. It was part of the larger dilemma. A small piece in a whole group, but it helped me help Edward after I realized the pattern. The darker his eyes got, the more careful I would be, prepared to freeze where I was if it helped, and it usually did.

"Who all is coming to the party?" I asked when he got back in his special occasion car. "Of your family, I mean."

"Alice, Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle for sure. Emmett wanted to come, but Rosalie's probably going to try to convince him to stay. Don't worry about it though. Alice decided to make the spring break party in LA another one like this for your friends there. And she wants to use the crystal again. She loves it!"

"It is really beautiful. Have you seen it?"

"No. She wouldn't let me look at anything. Or do anything."

I laughed. So I'd guessed. The party didn't remind me of Edward at all. I guessed Alice--or maybe Esme--wrapped the presents, even the ones from Edward. Alice promised my three presents to Edward were perfectly wrapped and would be there before any guests arrived.

"You know, I realize this is mean to Alice, but I want to go see a movie before the party," Edward announced with a grin.

"After the party," I told him because I knew how much time Alice had put into the party so far. She would definitely cry. And we still had to entertain our guests too. Seeing a movie in our formal clothes sounded as fun as it did amusing.

"What should we see?"

"Anything you want is fine. I like most movies."

Edward smiled, and he started to accelerate. He had this strange obsession with speed. It went farther than most boys. I didn't mind it though. Going a hundred and twenty miles an hour with him wasn't scary. He had superb reflexes. I knew he would somehow save me if danger come. He had before, and he would make sure I was still safe.

The bar and grill parking lot was nearly empty because it was only 11:30. Edward parked perfectly in one try. He must have realized I was about to step out of the car without his help--it wasn't needed--because he came so fast I didn't even see the motion. He smiled and I glared at him for a few seconds, but I allowed myself to laugh anyway. I recognized Carlisle's S55 AMG Mercedes in the back. Esme was most likely with him. Edward kept one arm around me as we walked inside. I could swear he was supporting part of my weight, but I couldn't be sure. And I could swear I somehow lost a few pounds, even with Edward demanding I eat three meals a day.

To my surprise, Emmett was inside. When we walked in, he ran over, and again, it was so fast I didn't see the motion. "So do I get to dance with you? I promise I won't let you fall over," he told me with a huge grin. "You look great. Wonder how Edward keeps his hands off you..."

I glanced at Edward in embarrassment. I didn't know how to reply to anything like that. Edward was glaring at Emmett, who started laughing hysterically. Esme hurried over to greet me. She hugged me, sending a glare in Emmett's direction. "You look lovely, dear," she told me. "I think you look like the perfect couple." She straightened Edward's tie, and it was his turn to look embarrassed. "We'll have to get more pictures for your mother."

I nodded, but the idea hadn't come to mind. But by the professional photographer standing to the side, I guessed Alice or Esme had thought of it. As we started to walk around, she snapped a couple pictures of our casual chit-chat. I wasn't even aware hardly. Once we finished our quiet conversation, she came forward to introduce herself. "I'm Emily. Alice called me," she said, and shook my head.

"Thanks," I said, glancing at Edward. "This was a bad idea," I whispered.

Edward only grinned as he looked around at the decorations. "Looks nice," he commented. "Alice goes way overboard, doesn't she?"

"What do you mean?" I inquired, following his gaze to our table. "You don't like it or what?"

"No, it looks great." He picked up my crystal cup. I didn't notice anything different about it until he pointed to the tiny word. He set it back on the table with a grin. "These aren't quite as beautiful to some people because they're so simple. But the simplicity is actually more expensive because she had these specially made. Timberlee carved in one. Edward into the other."

"How much did she spend on them?" I asked, horrified.

"Not sure, but don't ask. She gets touchy about the costs of presents. Not to mention the fact that she's sore that Esme thought of it, not her."

I grinned at the way he said that. "Okay. I promise I won't ruin her night."

"Her night?" Edward repeated, but he apparently knew what I meant. Alice wanted everything to be perfect for us, but if we didn't enjoy it, love it, and cherish the day for the rest of our lives, she would be offended. But I was having fun, even though no guests had arrived yet and Emmett's comments certainly didn't help someone who was self-conscious. Edward had an arm around me as we examined the decorations. I had the second bottle of water in my hand--I had finished the first on on the way there. My other arm was loosely around Edward's waist, but I was four inches taller than usual due to my heels. Usually, I was five foot, six inches tall with Edward towering over me at six foot, two inches. It felt strange to be only four inches shorter than him, but my guess was that Alice would argue if I tried to ask Mom to bring my Converse or some flats. If it got too bad, I could just take off my pumps and toss them somewhere.

Edward finish examining the room just as Alice pulled into the parking lot. I saw Rosalie next to her in a gorgeous BMW convertible. I nudged Edward's arm. "Whose car is that?" I asked.

"Rosalie's. You know BMW's too?"

I nodded with a smile. It was a vibrant red, without a scratch on it, expensive, and extremely beautiful. It reminded me of Rosalie. She somehow found the perfect match in a car. It was stunning! Like she was. "Wow!" I exclaimed. "Now I feel extremely cheap."

"How's that?"

"My Acura compared to your Aston Martin and her BMW, even Carlisle's Mercedes. I should have spent another twenty grand or so on my car."

Edward laughed. "No, for your uses, an Acura is good."

Alice ran in, dressed in an adorable knee-length dress and flats. She embraced me quickly. Her skin gave me goose bumps. "You should put a smile on," she told me. "You look sad. What's wrong?"

"Jealous of Rosalie's car," I mumbled. "Why don't you guys drive your cars?"

"We wanted to fit in more," Edward told me. "We're obviously different. We stand out more than enough without a BMW and an Aston Martin. My Volvo was the closest to any car that would fit in here. So that's what we use."

"So Carlisle's Mercedes fits in?" I inquired.

"That's different. When we moved here, Carlisle wanted us to make friends if we could, like he always does. But, well, you know how it feels to stick out so much in a crowd full of people who have grown up together. Expensive cars didn't help our chances, so the Volvo it is."

I raised my eyebrows. I did know how it felt. I knew exactly how it felt. It was horrible, but somehow, he stood out more than I did. They all did. I didn't even see how that was possible, but it wasn't their past or their parents or even their cars that made them stand out. They were just different. Still, I liked the differences in them. It was nice.

Edward laughed at my expression. "Well, our first guests have arrived," he told me.

"Who?"

"Mike and a few others from school. They're early. And he'd better not ask for a dance. I want you entirely to myself."

"Okay, you've got me then. Let's go greet them."

Edward poured me a soda in one of the extra crystal glasses and even took one for himself. An arm around me, he lead the way to the door. Mike, Eric, Tyler, Ben, and Lauren all arrived together. I hugged each one of them one-armed since my right hand held the soda. But with Lauren, I added a second squeeze in the hopes that it would put us on good terms--she seemed to be in a better mood than usual with me.

"You will never guess what happened yesterday!" Lauren told me, sounding even more happy than usual. And I wasn't sure why, but I wasn't about to ruin it.

"You should hang out here. I'll be back," I told Edward, and hurried off with Lauren for a girlfriend-to-girlfriend chat. "What?" I inquired.

"Ben asked me out next weekend," she announced, about ready to burst with excitement. "I always thought he liked you, but I guess not. I'm so happy too! I've liked him since seventh grade." Lauren smiled as I handed her a soda. I had observed what kind she liked from lunch at school. "I'm sorry if I was rude to you about it."

"No, it's okay," I replied quickly. "I've been about ready to jump on anyone who just looks at Edward a certain way lately. I completely understand."

"Really? Thanks so much, Timberlee! I feel horrible for treating you like that."

"It's okay. Trust me. I would have done the same thing."

Lauren smiled and we hugged again. "You look really nice, Lauren! I love your shoes." She did look really cute in her knee-length skirt, a black t-shirt, and blue flats.

"Thanks. Hope it's not too casual."

"No, no, it's perfect. We said semi-formal, or rather Edward did, because he wanted me to stand out. It was really sweet of him actually."

"We should go on a double date sometime. Looks like the boys are getting along well. Never knew Edward Cullen or any Cullen could fit in here."

I nodded, glancing at Edward. It seemed so strange when I thought about it, even though Edward did seem to fit in very well with the rest of the boys from school. He was occupied with the topic of sports. Not paying much attention to me, but I didn't mind this time. Ben was engrossed in the conversation too. They were debating on how much they thought Kansas University cheated against Oklahoma in the last game. Kansas won, even though they were somehow horrible after they won the 2008 National Championship. But most of their best players went pro after that. Oklahoma was one of the top teams in the country, but after their loss to KU, several Oklahoma fans were upset. Edward apparently liked that KU won, which caused an outburst from Emmett. So I knew that Emmett had rooted for Oklahoma. I laughed and turned back to Lauren.

"We should go shopping," Lauren suggested. "Prom should come around. I hope we both go! I want to get the best dress. Maybe we should take a trip to Seattle sometime. Jessica, Angela, and Sara could come too!"

I nodded. It was a good idea. But I wanted Alice to come too. "Yeah, that'd be awesome."

Lauren smiled and we returned to the group of boys. I put an arm around Edward, holding my crystal glass in the other hand. He smiled down at me, like I'd been gone too long. It almost made me feel guilty for ever leaving him, even if I wasn't more than fifteen feet away the whole time. "We were just talking about college basketball," he told me.

"So I heard. Lovely."

Emmett joined us with Rosalie on his arm. "Football's better," he commented, grinning at me, and I wasn't sure why. It made me a little scared because I didn't know if he was a practical joker or not. He seemed like the type, and he did like to pick on me quite a bit.

"No kidding! Michael's great at it too. My little brother," I told Lauren. "He'll be here later on. Emmett, you should go to the NFL if you're so interested in football."

"I'm interested in watching it, not playing it," Emmett replied, trying to make it sound like I should have already known that.

I nodded in sarcasm. He sounded rude, but I knew he was only trying to get a reaction out of me. Instead, I nodded and leaned into Edward. Emmett laughed at that too, like he thought I had lost my balance. But that wasn't it at all.

Slowly, more and more guests arrived. Jessica, Angela, Sara, and just about everyone else from school. Edward and I stood at the door to greet the steady flow of guests. Once everyone arrived, we started to move about the crowd, shifting from conversation to conversation. But I did most of the talking. Edward just listened the majority of the time. He must have noticed the same thing I did--none of my family had arrived yet. I tried not to think about it though. Alice was watching me closely for any signs that I wasn't enjoying the party. I was enjoying it, and my fears had nearly disappeared when I managed to walk across the room without tripping, even if I knew it was because Edward was there, holding me up-right. I just wondered why my family wasn't there yet. Mom wouldn't miss it for the world.

I was separated from Edward somehow. The girls pulled me aside to talk about the specifics of the party, like they couldn't tell me anything Edward didn't already know. Even if we moved onto the personal details of relationships and who liked who and why, and so on. We were all chatting about the latest celebrity news, the actresses' dresses at the Oscars, and everything else that came up. Edward glanced at me every few minutes, and I knew he could hear it all just by the smile on his face. I wasn't usually comfortable with gossip and I felt so out of place there. I glanced around, trying to find where Edward had gone to, and spotted Mom arriving. I hadn't expected it, but the tears sprang when I saw Dad. I smiled at him. It meant much, much more than I thought it had at first, even if he looked like Mom dragged him the whole way. He looked really nice too. A brand new blouse tucked into his nicest pair of jeans. A suit was always out of the question for him. He hated parties anyway, especially when the entire Forks High School was there.

I excused myself from the group of girls and hurried over to greet them. I hugged Mom and Michael first. "Hey, Dad," I said with a smile, feeling shy again suddenly. "I'm glad you came." I was talking to my own father, but I felt like I was talking to a complete stranger, and I felt even more shy when Edward came up behind me, putting his arm around me like he always did.

Charlie smiled at me through a glare at Edward. "You look really nice honey," he said. He hated parties and crowds, which was part of the reason he never wanted to leave Forks when I was little. He didn't belong in the city anymore than Mom belonged in a small town, and we all knew that. He liked to be alone. That was probably the only reason he survived after we disappeared with Mom.

"Thanks," I said, glancing at Edward. "You too."

After a quick conversation about the animal attacks, which Edward had brought up--I didn't know anything about them--we moved onto talk to Jake, who was alone. I hugged him, wondering why he was alone. He had a good time in Port Angeles with all my friends the first weekend I was in Forks. "Jacob, this is Edward. Edward, Jacob Black," I introduced, hoping to break the bad feelings they had against each other.

"Nice to meet you," Edward said pleasantly, and he even managed a smile.

"Uh-huh," Jacob muttered. "Sure." I frowned because he sounded so much like Dad did when he found out I was dating Edward. "You look great, Tim."

I smiled at the nickname he gave me in his garage. He didn't know that almost all my friends in LA called me that though. He was so proud of himself for coming up with a nickname for me, so I decided not to mention it at all. "You too. Really nice. Did Billy come too?"

"No. He went to talk to Harry Clearwater. He tries to act cool, but he didn't want to come to a party with a bunch of teenagers. But I'll tell him you asked."

I nodded my thanks, but I could tell Jacob wanted some time alone with me. I guessed Edward noticed that too. He kissed my cheek lightly, and I swore he was trying to wound Jake's ego. "I'm gonna go talk to Carlisle for a while," he whispered in my ear. "You'll be okay, right?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." I watched him leave and then turned back to Jacob, who was glaring after Edward. "Wanna take a walk outside?"

"Sure." Jacob followed me out to the parking lot. He stuffed his hands into his jean pockets as we strolled towards Edward's Vanquish. "You look really nice again. Wow. Just wow," he said, smiling.

I smiled. "So how's your car doing?"

"Nice. You should come back and see her." Jake cleared his throat awkwardly, and I could tell I wouldn't exactly like what he would say. So I guessed it was about Edward. "So Cullen did like you, huh? Did you always like him back?"

"No, but I love him now, Jake." Love, not like. I felt like an idiot for going that far. Edward's behavior was understandable due to the legend between the Quileutes and the Cold Ones, but I wasn't helping any.

"Oh. I'm glad you're happy though. Charlie always used to worry about you. Before when you were getting ready to move here, he was crazy with worry. It was always Timberlee won't fit in, she won't like it, and whatever else he could come back. You don't even know how much he worries."

I nodded. "No, I don't, but you'll never know how much you mean to him, Jake. You're like a second son to him, ya know? He talked about you for the longest time after I moved out, refusing to come back. He missed Michael so much especially. With you there, watching you go through the same stages in life, it kept him sane, I think."

"No, his work did that. He worked every second he could."

I smiled. It was probably partially true. Dad loved his work a lot. A small town cop. The majority of the crimes weren't so big, but he loved his job. Even still, I believed that Jacob had helped a lot. It just made a bucketful of sense to me. I cleared my throat, wishing Jake would say something else. "So how's school on the reservation?" I asked when he didn't say anything.

"Pretty good. I've made some new friends there, but it's school if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do," I replied with a smile. Of course I did! Every teenager knew what he meant. But it was different for me now. Mondays were the best thing that I could imagine, especially when I wasn't able to see Edward over the weekend. Mondays turned from the worst day of the week to the best in a matter of weeks alone. Strange thing about this Edward Cullen and how he changed so much in me in such a little time. Somehow, he made everything better, even this tiny town called Forks that I once hated. It was something I couldn't understand.

"Timberlee!" Alice called, skipping over. "Esme wants to talk to you." She grabbed my hand excitedly. "And Emily wants to get some more pictures."

I glanced at Jacob, who had cringed away. So he had a grudge against Alice too. No wonder he had been all alone. All the guys were together, including Edward and Emmett, and all the girls were together with Alice. So Jacob sat alone. I ran a hand through my hair, trying to solve the situation so Jake could somehow find someone to talk to other than Charlie and Mom. "Okay," I told Alice with a smile. "Jake, come on. We should talk to Michael for a while. Sorry if this is boring. You two can leave if you want to, go see a move or something."

Jacob looked tempted, but he followed me inside with Alice. Edward hugged me like we'd been apart for a full hour and I smiled. Esme handed me a full glass of sparking grape juice. "Is this meant to seem like a wedding?" I asked Edward quietly.

Edward grinned. Apparently, he had noticed that too. "Sorry about that. Like I said, Alice goes overboard."

"No, it's fine. At least we don't look like we're getting married. And everyone knows dad wouldn't approve when I'm sixteen. So I think we're okay."

Edward squeezed my waist a little, but I could swear he was holding something back. I had seen what kind of strength he had when he pushed Ben's van away to save my life. But an adrenaline rush was the answer I had, and that was the only one I would get. So I decided to just ignore it, and Edward was watching me anyway. "Are you cold in that dress? It's windy outside."

"No, I'm fine now," I replied now that my goose bumps were gone--I hadn't even noticed them when I was talking to Jake. I followed Edward through the crowd to where Carlisle and Esme stood with my parents. I smiled at Carlisle and Esme put an arm around me lovingly. Dad looked absolutely lost in the party, and it was almost amusing how uncomfortable he was. He kept glancing around as if to see if someone was breaking the law just so he could arrest them and leave the party as soon as possible. But I guessed Esme planned for Charlie's awkwardness because he had a beer in his hands. His favorite brand even.

"I was just telling the Cullens about your last boyfriend," Mom announced, playing with one of my stray curls.

"Oh," I mumbled, cringing as I glanced at Edward. I hoped he hadn't heard any of it. If he was going to hear the story, I wanted to hear it from me. Not from Mom because she didn't even know all the details. "So what do you think, Dad?" I asked, looking around the room.

"Looks really nice. Alice must have spent hours on it."

I nodded. I knew she had. But for some reason, she seemed to like putting the most time possible into the party, and she wanted me to enjoy it. I planned to make sure I did specifically for her.

After six, the crowd started to thin. We had dancing, though I refused to dance even with Emmett. And I was able to convince Edward not to try and force me to, which was just lucky. Mom told a few stories about my childhood, which was unbelievably embarrassing. We chatted with everyone in the crowd and we ate. I was shocked to see Edward eat a small plate of food, but it was food just the same, even if it was tiny. I took off my pumps and tossed them into Edward's Vanquish. It felt good to be back to my usual height and the normal eight inches shorter than Edward. We stood at the door to finish our conversations as people flowed out the door as fast as they had come. Mom and Dad had both left already with Michael. Emmett agreed to stop with the sex cracks, which he continued to make through out the party and they continued to get worse, if I could make a full report on the Super Bowl. I guessed he wasn't expecting my knowledge of sports, but we got along very well, even with Rosalie glaring at me from his arm. She looked gorgeous, even if it was fairly casual. She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen.

"Well, I must say I'm proud of my little sister for not falling and breaking her neck in those heels," Emmett commented as we walked through the parking lot.

I laughed sarcastically and childishly stuck my tongue out at him. But I tripped them. Edward caught me easily, like it happened all the time and like he had been expecting it to happen. Emmett burst into a roar of laughter. Rosalie glared at me in disgust. Edward gave her the most malicious glare I'd ever seen. "Leave her alone," he hissed, both arms around me, and I could swear he was restraining me. I was surprised to realize he thought I was going to attack Rosalie, and the thought had come to mind a few times, but it wouldn't help my situation any. "Ignore her, Timberlee. She's just being stupid," he told me gently, opening the passenger's side door of his beautiful Vanquish.

I smiled at him, stepping inside. When Edward joined me, I saw his worried look. "I'm fine, Edward. She came, didn't she? I mean, even if it was for the wrong reasons, she still came. That proves she can stand seeing me from time to time. And when we finally do become friends, we'll look back on it and laugh at the stupidity of all this, okay?"

Edward smiled, stroking my cheek. "You never give up, do you? Wan to be friends with everyone, even someone as shallow and rude as Rosalie."

"There's a reason for everything," I replied. "Anyway, I don't want her to ruin anything by making me angry. It's pointless to get mad over something I can't control, and I guess the road might be bumpy for us, but I want her to accept me too. I don't want us to be enemies. I just wish she could at least be decent with me, like me and Jasper."

"Ah. You tolerate way too much, but I'm glad you do with me at least. You wouldn't be with me now if you didn't. You would have dumped me that night I left you in the Chinese restaurant, and we wouldn't be here today."

I smiled, blushing a little. "Have you even noticed?" I asked more seriously. "Alice and Jasper sit with us now. Emmett and Rosalie sit completely alone. You don't even know how shallow I feel for taking the company they had and not even trying to sort the problem out."

Edward put a hand on my bare shoulder, and I forced myself not to shiver. "You don't even know what the problem is."

I laughed. "I don't know your secret, but I'm observant enough to find a few things that help you," I told him, but he obviously hadn't noticed. I smiled quickly when he gave me a confused look. "Like standing upwind from you. Not making sudden movements. Holding my breath when you lean closer. Another thing that helps is wearing my hair down. Your eyes get darker and it makes it harder to be close to me. Is it the same with Rosalie?"

Edward looked impressed for a moment, then he smiled with a shrug. "With Rosalie, the darker _my_ eyes get, the more angry _she_ gets."

"Oh, I see. But I can handle it. Trust me."

"I do. What movie should we see?"

I didn't answer though. We drove to the theater in only a few minutes because Edward was speeding way over. We walked into the theater together. Edward's coat was on my shoulders. His arm was around me. He paid for the tickets and the girl behind the window was more busy staring at him than anything else. I rolled my eyes in disgust, wishing I was brave enough to yell at her to back off. But I wasn't. Edward handed me fifty dollars to get popcorn. He must have known it was way too much, but it didn't matter. I bought a water and popcorn only because Edward made me. He tossed me a bag of candy too, which I clumsily caught.

I hadn't paid any attention to what movie he'd decided to see. But I didn't care. I was with him, wasn't I? His arm was around my waist, definitely supporting some of my weight. But it made it easier to walk in my heels. And my feet didn't hurt at all. Edward handed me my ticket with this adorable smile I'd never seen him use before. I laughed at him and looked down at the ticket. "Ah. The International!" I said with a nod. "You have excellent taste."

"You've seen it?"

"No, no, but most of my friends at home have. I've gotten about sixty movie reviews. They say it's pretty good. So it's a perfect choice," I said, entering the theater. But the theater was completely empty. I smiled when Edward pushed the arm rests back. He sat with his back against the wall, his legs across several seats. He pulled me onto his lap, his arms around me, my head tucked under his chin. "Mm, your hair smells nice," he commented, stroking it. "New shampoo?"

"Yeah. Cherry Blossom. You like it?"

"Smells good."

I smiled at the way he said that. The movie started then. We were silent. I didn't mind the temperature of Edward's skin. My shoes on the floor, my legs curled up between his, his coat around me, our fingers mingled together. The movie lasted for a while and it was over before I thought it would be. When it ended, Edward somehow picked me up at the same time he stood. He hadn't even shifted his weight at all before he put me on my feet, but the motion was extremely easy, like it wasn't hard at all. But no other guy I knew could have done that.

Edward helped me put my shoes back on and we left. on the way out to his car, he made sure we weren't walking so fast that I would hurt myself, but fast enough so that we got out of the rain quickly. Once we were inside his car, Edward turned to me. "We never opened presents," he pointed out.

I laughed, because I knew that as well as he did. "Ma took 'em home. We can open 'em when we get back home," I replied. "You went overboard though, so you have no room to talk about Alice. You didn't have to buy me so many. Makes me feel bad for not buying you more."

"Don't feel bad. It's the man's job to dote on the woman, especially one as pretty as you."

I rolled my eyes, but the smile was unstoppable. I couldn't imagine why he doted on me or how he found me beautiful. The simple, plain girl from LA in the wrong life, the wrong city even. I didn't belong in Forks, but wherever Edward was, that's where I wanted to be. So that's where I was, where I lived, and where I loved to be. My first day at Forks High School was a month ago, but all that resentment was gone now. I learned to love Forks more than Dad. Just for another reason. _Edward was my reason._

We reached Charlie's house just before Eleven. I stepped out into the rain, and we ran to the porch as fast as I could--Edward ran at my pace. Mom greeted me with a hug, which I had expected due to the fact that she spent half the party crying. Dad was on the couch with Michael, watching the sports news report. Edward and I knelt on the ground to open our presents.

The tiny present from Edward was a shockingly red ruby ring. Sterling silver, a genuine ruby. It fit on my right hand ring finger perfectly. The second was just a Cd, but as I looked through the list of titles, I was nearly brought to tears. My lullaby was the last on it, and I knew I would be listening to it all the time. Edward smiled at me, when I began mouthing the other song titles. "The first CD is all songs written for you or that you inspired," he explained, and I realized there was two more CDs after that. "The other two are just other songs I wrote. Alice said you would be angry if I didn't add them."

I nodded with a giggle as I handed the CDs to Mom so she could look at them. "She's right," I told Edward, accepting the third present. I carefully ripped the silver paper, which matched my dress thanks to Alice's obsessive party shopping. Inside, there was a copy of _Wuthering Heights_, leather bound with my nickname engraved with cold letters in the red leather.

"I noticed you didn't have a copy," he told me so no one else could hear.

I hugged him. It was beautiful! Fourth was another book, a journal. I opened and realized Edward had written an entire book of letters to me. My heart had never pounded so hard before in such a good way. I wondered if his secret was somewhere in those pages, but there wasn't any way he would tell me without a fight. Fifth, there was a huge scrap book. On front of it, it read "Oh, the memories" in the brown leather. I smiled and opened it. Inside, there were a hundred pictures at least of us. It was one of those things that I would cherish forever simply because it documented so many memories. The sixth present was a picture frame with our names carved into it. It was so simple, yet so beautiful in its simplicity. There was a picture of him holding me. Only our torsos were shown in the picture, but my head was several inches above his, my hair brushing against his face lightly, so I knew he had been holding me. I'd never seen the picture before, but it was from the day we went to the shack. It was definitely one of my top ten now that I had seen it.

The seventh and last present was an acoustic guitar. It had exquisite flower details in the black wood. I knew it must have cost a fortune, but it didn't mean as much to me as the scrapbook, letters, and CDs. No one had ever been so thoughtful of me before. Edward knew exactly what would mean most to me. We opened all the presents from his family. All of them were the kind of present that took tons of thought. Jasper and Emmett gave me a football helmet, which told me Jasper also found my clumsiness amusing. I laughed, covering my face in embarrassment. "There's a note," I told Edward. "'Just be careful and don't hit your head next time you decide to slip. If you do, this will protect you'," I read, trying to hide how funny it was to me. "Emmett, right?"

Edward nodded after examining the handwriting. He opened the last present, which was from Mom. She gave us a disposable camera and a picture album, which was what I had guessed. She knew I loved photography, and she loved to see pictures of me and my friends. "I'll send you all the pictures, Ma," I promised, hugging her.

"I'll help you take all this upstairs," Edward volunteered.

"No, no! Let me take a picture of you two first. Then another one of all of us together," Mom insisted.

I handed her the camera and Edward pulled me to my feet easily. He only kept an arm around me, probably because Charlie was waiting for the chance, and a reason, to yell at Edward. I had my left arm around him with my right hand on his chest. We smiled for Mom, who had started crying again. Then she had Michael take a picture of Edward, Mom, and me. She had wanted Charlie to be in it, but he refused. Two more pictures were taken. One of me and Mom. One of me and Michael. Then I ran upstairs with Edward to put the presents away.

"Thanks," I told Edward as he set the boxes down on my bed. He put my copy of _Wuthering Heights_ on my bookshelf. Then he looked through the book of letters. I smiled at him. "I want that one hidden in case Charlie ever raids my room looking for drugs," I said, joking about the raid in my room. "Top drawer of my desk locks."

Edward laughed. His smile faded then. "You look so beautiful right now," he told me. "All the time actually. I guess I should go before your dad calls in the firing squad though." He kissed my lips gently. "I'll be back though. Once they're all asleep."

I nodded. We walked downstairs together. Dad glanced over his shoulder at us. I smiled at Edward, opening the front door. "I'll see you," I said.

"Yeah, thank you for letting Alice do this. She'll love you forever. And thank you for the wonderful night."

I smiled, watching him leave. He drove away slowly, and I couldn't see his face through the windows. But I wished I could see if he was watching me too, see if he was as sad as I was to see the night end. When I was done watching, Mom and Michael were in bed and only Dad was still awake. I sighed deeply, closing the door finally. "Thanks, Dad," I said from behind him. "Love you!" I ran upstairs before he could reply though.

The CDs Edward made me were perfect. I fell asleep to the soft playing of my lullaby. It was so beautiful and serene. I could see Edward playing the song on the piano, and it felt like Edward was with me, even though he wasn't.


	19. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

When I woke up again, it was lighter than usual. Edward was holding me, humming softly. I glanced at the clock. It was past nine! I Sat up swiftly, already panicking. "Why didn't you wake me up?" I demanded.

Edward stopped me. "School was canceled. Snow day," he told me.

I looked out the window. Sure enough, there was several inches of fresh snow on the ground. "That was fast," I mumbled. "Didn't seem cold yesterday."

"No, it wasn't. But it's snowy today."

I nodded. "How come my alarm didn't go off though?"

"I turned it off when I found out there was no school," he explained, hugging my waist. "Thought you could use the extra sleep. We were out late last night. And don't worry because your mom's flight was canceled too. She's still here. Well, actually, she's on her way back. She had to return the rental. Charlie's out with her."

I nodded. "Good." I leaned my head back against his shoulder sleepily. "Did you have fun yesterday? Really?"

"Yeah, I did. It felt nice to know that we don't have to hide or lie to your dad anymore. It was a good opportunity too. You friends know that I'm not going anywhere."

"Mm." I closed my eyes. But I rolled out of bed to stare out the window. For some reason, the secret Edward hid behind was getting to me. I wanted to know. We had no more secrets. He knew mine. Dad knew ours. But I didn't know his. I wanted him to trust me with it, and it broke my heart that he didn't, and that I knew he didn't. He wouldn't take that leap of faith with me. He stood behind, his ice cold arms around my waist, his eyes darker than yesterday, his breath tickling my neck, his nose in my hair. We had come so far, but I felt weakened. Suddenly, I knew the secret would never be told. He _wouldn't_ trust me. I closed my eyes, pushing away Edward's hands in my frustration.

Edward frowned in confusion, but he backed off. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head because I knew I was about to cry and I didn't want him to see that. "Nothing," I liked, snatching a pair of jeans and a t-shirt from my dresser drawer. "I've gotta go take a shower."

"I'll fix you some--"

"I'm not hungry," I announced, and hurried away to the bathroom. The thought that Edward _wouldn't_ trust me made me lose my appetite. It was a horrible time to get this way, but I couldn't help it. The party had nothing to do with it. Being raped, losing my friends in a school shooting had, that wasn't it either. I trust Edward with _my life_ and he wouldn't trust me with _one small detail of his._ Who could recover from that realization? I certainly couldn't, as much as I tried to.

I still loved Edward with my whole life, and so much more. I knew he loved me too, but he didn't love me enough to trust me. He didn't know me well enough to trust me--despite everything I'd told him.

I prayed my shower erased any evidence of the few tears I Had cried while I was undressing. I slipped into my torn jeans quickly. I found Edward in the kitchen, setting the table. He was obviously prepared for an argument because he only set out a bowl of cereal--no milk--instead of omelets or crepes.

I sat down across from him. Years of practice would be put into use just to lie to the man I loved, to protect him from what I was really feeling. I suddenly knew how he felt, hiding the dilemma's key from me, but that didn't change a thing.

I poured my own milk and ate slowly. "So what's the plan for today?" I asked when I thought I could manage without bursting into tears.

"Esme wants to take us all shopping in Seattle. I'm supposed to leave when your dad's almost here so he doesn't kill me, as Emmett says. She's going to call, see if it's all right," he explained casually. My mood swings clearly worried him, but I knew my hormones were going crazy--I was about to start my cycle. My worries and depression would most likely be gone in a few hours. I just needed something else to think about for a little while.

I nodded because my mouth was full. Then I swallowed. "Sounds awesome! Seattle sounds really nice. Some city will help me. I'm homesick, I guess," I told him quietly.

Edward squeezed my hand. "I have no doubt that you're homesick," he said gently. "No one could blame you for that."

I finished my cereal and did the dishes, Edward watching me still. He stood, kissed the back of my neck, and he was gone again. Minutes later, I heard Charlie's cruiser pull into the drive. I sighed deeply and hurried back upstairs to my room. The bottle of anti-depressants were tempting, and I swallowed one quickly.

The phone rang downstairs. I was sure it was Esme. And when Dad called me down, that confirmed it. "You up for a trip to Seattle on your day off, honey?" he asked me. "Esme Cullen just invited us all to a trip to Seattle for the day. They're all going."

I nodded, putting on my best face of enthusiasm. "Yeah, that sounds awesome! You coming too?"

"Yeah, I suppose. Unless you object."

"No, that's fine. But, please, be nice to Edward."

"Charlie!" Mom exclaimed, smacking his arm, and that only told me I was rubbing off on her... Which was scary. "Tell her!"

"Oh, all right, fine!" Dad snapped, clearly annoyed. "Esme invited you to ride with her, Alice, and... Then you can go over to their place for dinner afterward as long as you're home by ten."

I smiled excitedly and feeling a little amused. "Sweet! It okay if I ride with Edward too?" I teased since Charlie seemed unable to say his name.

"I suppose," Charlie muttered.

My mood was better already. I ran upstairs to get together my purse and put on my shoes. I made sure I had my disposable camera Mom gave me and the digital Edward gave me on the first day of our relationship.

The Cullens arrived in Carlisle's Mercedes--Esme driving. She hugged both me and Mom. "Girls in the back. Edward, sit up front," she said when we were about to leave, and I wondered if it was because Charlie was glaring at Edward or for another reason.

"You wanna drive my Acura instead of the cruiser?" I asked Dad. I tossed him my keys as I stepped into the back of Carlisle's Mercedes. Edward was watching me from the rear view window, still worrying. I smiled to tell him I was okay, but he only seemed more worried then--like he knew I was faking.

"So is Carlisle coming too?" I asked Alice as we started down the road.

"Yes, they're on their way already. Carlisle and Jasper are in Edward's Volvo and Emmett and Rosalie are in her car. We're gonna meet them at a shoe store. Carlisle wants us all to shop like a family. Usually, only me and Esme go, but I guess he wants us to spend as much time with your mom and brother as possible before they leave."

"Oh," I said quietly. And that's all that was said on the ride to Seattle. I ended up turning on my iPod and blasting out some Evanscence to block out thoughts I was trying so hard to avoid. I leaned my head on the vibrating window, eyes closed. I wouldn't ask for anything else in our relationship if Edward would just _trust me_. But that was the one thing he wouldn't do. He knew as well as I did his family could take care of themselves. They could handle any problems that came, and they would. No one would know if he told me because I would carry the secret to my grace, but he refused to tell me. _He refused to trust me._ That was worse than not having him at all.

It didn't matter if I had him if he didn't trust me. He begged me to tell him if he hurt me. He meant physically, but what about what he was doing to me mentally? He pleaded with me not to make him lie to me, but he already was. He let me believe everyday that he was _human._ But humans didn't read minds or push away cars with their bare hands. He told me over and over he wasn't a super hero, that he was the bad guy. I couldn't bring myself to believe that. He brought me to believe he wasn't a super hero. But he wasn't the bad guy. He wasn't human either. No matter how I looked at it, he _wouldn't_ trust me, not that he couldn't. And he was lying to me somehow, letting me believe things I did.

Dad pulled up to the store in Seattle and parked next to us. Edward opened my door for me. I smiled at him, and took his hand as we ran to get out of the cold. But I knew I could only pretend I was okay for so long. Soon, I would break if I wasn't distracted.

"Let's go look at shoes, Alice," I suggested as Emmett and Jasper pulled Edward away from me. "You wanna come too, Rosalie?"

Rosalie didn't reply, but she followed us anyway. I assumed it had more to do with Esme's firm look than my invitation though. Alice linked arms with me. My mind was suddenly off Edward. Alice's presence was soothing. She always seemed to be happy, _alive._ Not even Rosalie's glare could dampen my mood after that.

We spent two hours in the same store. By the time everyone was ready to go, I had my hands stuffed in Edward's coat pockets to keep them warm and his arm was around me again. We were laughing, completely happy.

We walked down the street together. I stood with Michael, looking at a store window. The snowball hit my back, but it didn't hurt. It wasn't thrown hard, but I knew exactly what Edward was trying to do. It wasn't exactly a fair fight. Edward and Emmett against me. Their reflexes were faster than mine. Of course, none of the snowballs were thrown hard enough to hurt me, but the more times they hit me, the more I wanted to get them back.

Esme's smile told me she enjoyed watching us play like children. Dad looked ready to have a heart attack if one of them hit me too hard. Michael wasn't impressed at all--he hated the snow. Rosalie kept glaring at Emmett as if to say grow up and stop associating with me. Carlisle was watching us play in the streets too, but he spoke quietly to Jasper, who looked to be in even more pain than usual. And his eyes were black again.

Edward carried my bags for me as we walked into the Italian restaurant after our snowball fight. I had my arm through his, the other hand rested on his muscular forearm, a smile on my face. Emmett was still sulking from when I managed to hit him with quite a bit of help from Edward.

I sat with Edward alone at one table. All of the Cullens made up a believable story about having eaten on the way or being on a diet. But Edward bought me a large plate of mushroom ravioli. I knew Dad was watching us closely from across the room, like he expected Edward to kiss me the first change he got. I nibbled on my ravioli while Edward watched me. "So are you up to talking about this morning?" he asked.

I looked up at him and sighed. I set down my fork as quietly as I could. "I just wish I... understood," I told him. He knew what I meant. "I feel like you don't trust me not to tell anyone. Your entire family has the same secret. But Alice doesn't seem to mind. I honestly believe she would tell me if she was in your place."

"Well, she's not!" Edward snapped. "What do you want from me, Timberlee? I don't want to lie to you, and I can't tell you."

"You already are lying to me! Anyone could see that you're different from the rest of us. I only wish that you would trust me enough to tell me what's different. Don't I deserve to know the whole truth, Edward? Not just pieces I can observe for myself. Why don't you trust me?"

"I don't trust human nature. And I do trust you."

"You've told me a hundred times I'm not like other girls. Maybe it's the same thing with this. Please--"

"I can't take that risk. I've waited for you too long to let a stupid, unimportant detail of my life get between us, especially when it doesn't effect our relationship."

"But it does!" I whispered, frowning at him. I wasn't angry or hurt. I just wanted him to know what that supposedly unimportant detail was doing to me, doing to us. "Edward, our entire relationship is built on that detail," I continued in the same whisper. "That and me trusting you. Whatever the detail is, it caused you to be afraid when we met, afraid you would hurt me. That detail allowed you to save my life when I almost got squished by a car, and then again when those guys were hassling me. How could you call that unimportant?"

Edward sighed. "That was the wrong word, I suppose," he said quietly. "Please, give me time. I just need to think about all of this, talk to my family, and just... think."

He was pleading again. How could I refuse? I reached out and took his hand, folding it into mine. "Take the time you need," I told him. "But I might need to ask a few more times."

Edward smiled. "All right." He kissed my hand, and I finished the rest of my food to the conversation of our snowball fight. My hand remained in his through all of it, and the cold wasn't so bad.

After lunch, we walked seven blocks to a bookstore. My hands were in Edward's coat pockets again, his arm around me, completely ready to catch me if I slipped. I got occupied with the card section. Edward and I looked at all the cards for another few minutes, then he gave me a piggy back ride to the small coffee shop in the corner of the book store. He bought me a latte to help warm my hands mostly.

It somehow turned into a beautiful day. I had Edward there. That was enough to make me happy. On top of that, I had Esme's gentle smile, Mom's caring touch, Alice's cheery conversation, Emmett's mean but still funny jokes, and my precious little brother, even though he wasn't much fun in the snow or any kind of bad weather. What more could I have in Washington? It felt like we were a family again. Mom, Dad, Michael, and me all together. I had Edward too--the only boy who could truly take my breath away, the only person who could make me believe in miracles.

Inside the fourth store we went into, Edward helped me sort through the sale's rack. "So what went on with your last boyfriend?" he asked quietly.

I glanced at him, not sure how to answer, even though it wasn't that hard, and shrugged. "His name was Hayden," I started. "He was new to LA. We got close after I introduced myself his first day to school. One day, he asked me out to a movie. I agreed, even though I thought it was going a little fast. But what was I supposed to do? I didn't even know if he meant it to be a date then. We dated for a while after that, and we got along fine. Really well actually. He wasn't Romeo exactly, but I wasn't Juliet either. I was naive and really stupid on many different levels. He wanted to go farther than I did, and I put up with that for some unknown reason. He was in it for different reasons than I was. I liked him. He liked my body," I explained as if it was just some book I'd read.

"My friends suspected it for a long time, but I refused to believe them. So I found him cheating on me. The worst part was that he almost convinced me to sleep with him. Then a few months later, he died of aids actually. I could have been him by now... Funny how live works, huh?"

Edward nodded thoughtfully. "Do you miss him?"

"Yeah, all the time. He was a jerk, but he was a good friend before we started a relationship. He was someone who helped me become who I am today."

Edward smiled at me. "You remind me a lot of Esme. You always find something good in every situation, in every person too. Even someone like Rosalie."

"What do you have against her? Just out of curiosity. I mean, she seems mean and vein, but I think it's just a front. She's been hurt a lot. I can see that much. She's lucky to have Emmett. She sort of seems like the out cast of the family."

"And her attitude made it that way," Edward replied.

"Maybe now that's the reason. But not originally. I know how she feels, Edward. I'm the out cast of my family. My dad's a cop. My mom's an interior designer with the weirdest sense of art ever. Ted's a musical producer. Michael's blood to Mom and Charlie. I'm not. Michael fits in. I don't at all. It's always been that way. Maybe Rosalie is rude, but I'm just saying I understand why. Even if my reasoning isn't quite right on all counts."

Edward smiled at me with a laugh about to escape his lips. "You are uncommonly nice," he pointed out, which I already knew. As many friends as I had, I probably had just as many enemies for letting them walk all over me or loath me without reason like Rosalie did. But being nice was part of who I was. I remembered a comment Edward made so long ago about how I tried to make friends with everyone. It was true. I was like my mom in that way.

"So did you dump him or did he dump you?" Edward asked, but most people would have known the answer to that already. Wasn't it a little obvious?

"Um... I dumped him," I replied, looking at a few different shirts. "But I sort of regret it actually. I mean, yes, he was a jerk. At the same time, he only had a few months to live. I regret not trying to work it out. We did well together, but it was in this complicated, stupid way. I was already dealing with so much more in my life. I didn't want a cheating boyfriend too. So the last months of his life were even worse than they would have been if I didn't dump him," I explained, sounding guilty.

"No, no, you were right to dump him. You deserve better than that."

I smiled, glancing over my shoulder at Edward. Part of me wanted to tell him that I deserved to know the truth. But we were getting along, we were happy, so I didn't say anything. I only thought it. I guessed that Edward could read the look on my face though. He raised his eyebrows, waiting for my explanation, but I shook my head at him to tell him to forget it.

"You should go look at clothes for yourself," I told him. My arms were full of clothes for me, but I hadn't seen him buying anything for himself before. At the same time, I'd never seen him wear the same thing twice, except his coat. Not even shoes.

Edward shook his head. "Alice goes on these shopping trips very often. She never lets us wear the same clothes twice," he said. "I don't need anything."

"Neither do I."

"A girl never has enough clothes," Edward reminded me with a grin. They were my words. I said them so long ago though. Or so it seemed. It was the night of the incident in Port Angeles when Edward was taking my bags upstairs. He saw all my bags--I hadn't unpacked yet. But at least Alice understood my slight obsession with shopping. So she would be my best friend. I wasn't going to dump Jake necessarily, but he seemed so much more like a little brother to me because Michael was the same age. And I needed a close girlfriend in Forks.

Edward grinned at me, a hand on my stomach. He let himself kiss the back of my neck. "Your dad really does not like me," he said.

"So I noticed, but don't take it personally. It's just guys I date in general. Sorry if he's like cursing at you in his thoughts."

Edward laughed. "You're close," he told me, but I was ninety percent sure he was joking.

I glanced over at him when he drifted away from me. He was looking through all the different shelves. I spent most of the time walking around so I could get a perfect look of his face. He didn't seem to notice, but that made it even more fun. He looked interested to see what I would look like in each out fit. Unfortunately, he also picked out my size in everything. Literally, everything. When Mom arrived, he sent me to try everything on. Edward pulled out my camera as I ran in. When I came back out to show him the first outfit, both my family and his were waiting. And that fashion show was the worst of my life. I had never felt so self-conscious before. I spent twenty minutes begging Edward not to buy everything I tried on. Again, literally, everything. But I was ignored.

I refused to look at the total amount he spent on me. The bags were numerous though. It required Emmett, Jasper, and Edward's hands to carry them all back to the cars. I followed them, and then we were going to meet the adults, Michael, Alice, and Rosalie at another store on the other side of Seattle with the cars. Like I assumed, both Alice and Esme were completely prepared for anything. Three cars, four drivers including me, but I was more just following Edward. I even found bottles of water and soda in the back of Edward's Volvo. Emmett drove Rosalie's gorgeous BMW--which I was still jealous of--probably because she didn't want to come since I did. Carlisle's Mercedes was driven by Jasper, and I wondered why Alice hadn't come instead because Jasper looked like he was about to throw up whenever he was near me.

Edward tossed me a bottle of water. "How come you never drink soda?" he asked.

"Never really liked soda actually. But I drink it every once in a while. It depends on what kind it is actually," I told him, turning up the heat.

"So what do you like?" Edward pressed in a tone that made me laugh.

"Dr. Pepper and Sierra Mist," I answered. "I used to have one or the other before every fashion show. It was just something to settle my stomach, I guess."

"There's some in the back if you want some. Esme wanted to be completely prepared. I swear she bought a pack of every kind of soda there is."

I grinned. I had no doubt of that.

There was only one more store we went into that day. I stood with Edward while everyone else look. He bought me a second cup of coffee to keep me warm as the temperature dropped. We talked quietly as we waited. He spent most of the time teasing me actually, but I didn't mind. I was able to laugh at myself, which was a good thing.

Another hour was spent in that store, and then Edward announced that we were leaving. He wanted to get home before the rest of his family. On the way home though, Dad, Mom, and Michael drove behind us the entire way, coming so close a few times I was about to call one of them to tell Dad, who was driving, to back off before he wrecked my car. But I knew it was another one of Dad's attempts to make sure Edward was being honest, respectful, and nice to me. When we reached Edward's house, he helped me out of his Volvo, not that I needed it.

With a grin, he took me up to his piano. I sat on the bench instead of him though. I'd written a few songs before, but none of them were good. And I'd been playing for years. "Okay, what do you want me to play?" I asked, watching Edward pace a few feet away. I knew how fast he could move, so I wasn't sure why he was so slow then.

"Anything's fine," he told me.

I frowned in confusion. I played by ear a lot, but none of it was perfect or even close to perfect. I slowly started playing some Mozart since it was the first thing that came to mind. Edward continued to pace human-speed, even though I knew he wasn't human. "You okay?" I inquired.

Edward nodded quickly. "Fine. I'm just trying to think of how to explain why I haven't already told you," he explained, and I knew he meant his secret. That told me he wasn't going to tell me.

So I continued to play. Before Edward came to a conclusion, I heard the others pull up to the house. Edward stopped his pacing and we hurried out to greet them. Esme squeezed me. "I'll make you some dinner," she volunteered. I smiled at her, sitting on one of the stools at the open bar. Edward joined me. "So did you figure anything out?" I asked, watching his face closely.

"No," he mumbled, sounding disappointed and even angry. I smiled at him, hoping it would make him feel better. I found myself feeling so much more tired than I thought I would be. Sleepily, I turned, leaning back against Edward's marble frame. His arms around me, I knew I wouldn't fall.

Esme glared at Edward in a way that reminded me a little too much of Mom. It was almost amusing to me. "Poor thing. Take her to the guest room for a while so she can rest," she instructed. "I'll have dinner ready when you wake up, Timberlee."

Edward lifted me into his arms effortlessly. He carried me upstairs to one of the bedrooms. He laid down with me next to him. He was humming my lullaby when I fell asleep. My dream was peaceful. Edward and I were in this meadow talking. A beautiful place. We were joyful and laughing, then something happened. Something went wrong. I was alone, walking through some forest around the same meadow. The tears covered my face and I was shaking from the cold, my arms folded across my chest, losing their feeling. I had been out there for hours.

I woke up with a start. I was laying _on top_ of Edward, his arms restraining mine. He released me when I shivered and I sat up. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"No, it's not you. I had this weird dream. You're fine. I just... needed to wake up some more."

"Why did you shiver then?"

"In the dream, I was walking out in the snow, freezing to death," I told him. "I said it was weird."

A knock on the door broke up our conversation. Esme peaked her head in. She gave Edward a disapproving look that, again, reminded me of Mom. "She was supposed to sleep," Esme said.

"I did. I just woke up."

"Good. Well, your dinner is ready. I hope you're hungry. I made a lot."

I smiled, rolling out of bed. "I'm starving." Edward smiled at my eager tone. He literally swept me off my feet to carry me downstairs. The food smelled absolutely amazing. I found a plate of roast beef, salad, potato soup, and apple pie. Esme hugged my shoulders from behind when Edward set me down, obviously glad to see my surprised look. "There's more if you want it," she told me sweetly.

I smiled at her. But as it was, I wasn't completely sure if I would be able to eat everything I had in front of me. Edward sat playing a game of chess with Alice. There was something extremely strange about the game--Edward didn't win right away. After a half an hour of the game, he leaned closer when he saw my confused look. "Alice can see the future," he told me. "She's still never beaten me though. All our games were a draw."

"If she can see the future, how come she didn't see you when you decided to pick me up yesterday for the party?" I asked.

"I was distracted," Alice mumbled, obviously unhappy.

So Alice had a super power too--she saw the future. Once I had that piece of information, I realized why the game was so entertaining. Edward read her mind to know what her next move would be, but then Alice could foresee Edward's next move. The game was a draw, like all the past games.

I laughed when Edward raised his hands in surrender. "So am I immune to her talent too?" I asked him.

"Nope. She can see your future as well as mine."

That confused me. Why could Alice see my future if Edward couldn't read my mind? But super natural things rarely made sense, if ever. And once again, I was back to the thought of why Edward wouldn't trust me, back to the thought of what the secret was. So many questions, so few answers. The confusion I felt was worse than ever before. It tormented me!

Edward and I moved to the couch once I was finished eating. I sat next to him, my back against the arm of the couch, my feet in his lap. He kept a thick blanket between his skin and mine. Emmett was watching college basketball, but we weren't paying much attention, even though we were right there.

"So did you ever come to a conclusion?" I asked Edward.

"Sorry, no. I'm still thinking about it."

I laughed at the sarcasm in his voice, playing with a piece of paper I found on the coffee table. Out of my boredom, I started to fold it over and over again. Alice and Jasper entered to watch the game with us. I smiled at them both, trying to direct my breath in another direction so it wouldn't bother Jasper. "Ow," I whispered. And everyone looked my way. Jasper jumped at me, but Edward and Emmett restrained him when he was an inch away from my face, snarling and twisting his face in effort. Carlisle, Esme, and Rosalie were there in an instant. "Get him out of here, boys," Carlisle instructed calmly.

Edward was watching me, holding Jasper. He saw my terrified look. I couldn't hide it. Things happened too fast. A tiny paper cut! What was there to react that way too? I was trembling, confused as ever. Edward and Emmett pulled Jasper out of the room, but Jasper fought them harder than ever. Alice and Rosalie ran out after them. Which left me alone with Carlisle and Esme.

I started to breathe again slowly, my hand over my heart to make sure it was still beating. My whole body was shaking. I stared at the spot were Jasper formerly stood. I stood. I could still hear Jasper's screams. What could I do? I was terrified out of my skin and there was no explanation for any of it.

Edward ran back in as I started for the door. I saw the look on his face and shook my head to stop him. "I think I should go," I said, and tried to move faster.

Edward stopped me. "No, please, let me at least try to explain that, Timberlee. I'm sorry. That was my fault."

I raised my eyebrows. "Edward, I've trusted you for so long. I trusted you to control yourself, but you can't control them," I said, throwing a finger at Carlisle and Esme, which was wrong from the start since they had done nothing. "You won't even tell me how to protect myself. I don't know what set Jasper off. But I can't do this anymore. I'm so sorry, Edward. But I have to go."

Edward stared at me, and I was frozen there. The look on his face was horrible. He looked ready to cry. I started to turn, but he stopped me again. Less urgent this time. "Let me give you a ride home," he whispered.

I shook my head. "No, I'm done," I told him, and ran out of the room. I grabbed my coat and gloves, hoping I could put them on fast enough.

But Edward followed. "Timberlee, the roads are dangerous. Please, let me give you a ride home at least. It would make me feel better if I knew you were safe."

"No, Edward," I said, forcing the tears back, but I wasn't sure if they were a delayed reaction to Jasper's near-attack or to what I was doing to Edward, or to the look on his face. "I can't do this. You promised me you wouldn't lie, but you lie to me every day when you let me believe you're human. You're not! I've tried to be understanding. I've tried, Edward! But I can't do this. Not anymore. I don't want to be like this anymore. I'm done." I reached for the door knob, but Edward stopped me with a hand on my arm. "Stop. If you don't want to hurt me, let me go work this out myself," I whispered, trying to be as gentle as I could.

I didn't want to hurt him. I was already doing that though. He looked like he was in the worst pain ever. I couldn't stop the tears that time. They came all at once and kept going, blurring the last vision of Edward I would have of that night. I tip-toed so I could kiss his lips. He didn't react to my touch, but he didn't pull away either. He was as stiff as he had been on my first day of school, his eyes looking away. I pulled back, wishing there had been some sort of reaction. "I do love you, Edward," I whispered. "But I have to save myself sometimes. I'm sorry." I opened the door and ran out into the cold.

Snow was starting to fall. The sky was pitch black. The trees were surrounding me at every turn. It was colder than I thought. I started up the winding driveway, arms folded. The tears were freezing on my cheeks. I had waited sixteen years for someone like Edward. In one month alone, he had completely transformed my life. And now it was all gone. All of it.

My senses were numbed. I was too cold to feel anything physically. I was empty inside though. There was nothing else in Forks for me if I didn't have Edward. He wasn't gone. I was. But I couldn't turn back for some reason.

I turned off the road and into the woods. I could see the light coming from Edward's house. And my dream was real. I was in the meadow, alone. Without Edward. I closed my eyes and fell to the ground, sobbing and wishing I could will myself to go back while wondering why I hadn't already. What had I just done? I just gave up what I lived for. And for what?

It took hours before I could move again. I slowly started towards the road again when I found the strength. It was much farther than I thought. My legs were stiff from sitting in the same position and from the cold. It was colder than ever before in my memory. I made it three miles towards home before I saw flashing lights. Charlie stopped his cruiser feet away from me and ran over. He either picked me up or I collapsed into him--I didn't know which.

I must have blacked out. The next thing I remembered was waking up in my room. I was in my bed. I swore it was all a dream until I realized I still couldn't feel my legs. "She must have been there for hours to do that kind of damage," Charlie was fuming. "I didn't find her until ten minutes ago. She was out wandering around, disorientated. She didn't even recognize me."

"Mom," I whispered, my throat raw. "Mom, is Edward here?"

"No, he's not!" Dad exclaimed. "What did he do to you?"

I shook my head furiously, ready to defend Edward to my last breath. "Nothing," I said quickly. "I didn't get hurt. I broke up with him."

"Why?"

"Charlie, let her sleep," Mom said, brushing my hair out of my face.

I wanted so much to tell Mom everything. Edward pushing away cars, reading minds, not telling me his damn secret. But somehow, I still hoped. It was such a foolish hope. That was all I could do though. In that moment, it felt so right to leave him and now I couldn't get Edward's face out of my head. In the same moment, I made the worst decision of my life when I broke up with him. I regretted all of it. If I tried to take it all back, I was sure Edward would refuse. Why else hadn't he responded when I kissed him? And the incident wasn't even his fault. Esme had invited me over. Alice had suggested that she and Jasper join us. I found the piece of paper. I cut myself. What had Edward done but protect me? It wasn't his fault. So why did I hurt him?

I ran to the bathroom. Once the door was locked, I broke down. My hands were still gloved. My legs still didn't have feeling. I leaned against the locked door and slid down to the floor. I was curled up into a ball, sobbing harder than over. I was still terrified. And I just didn't understand.

I couldn't sleep. Edward's pale face ran through my head too often. His laugh, his smile, his voice, his touch--the things I loved had all turned into horrors. They were turned to horrible things by one look--the look of extraordinary pain on his face when I said I was leaving. I couldn't forget it, and so I went numb.


	20. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

It was Thursday morning before I finally came out of the bathroom. I had hardly slept at all, but I showered and got ready for school anyway. My face was swollen and red. My bones ached from sitting on the floor, but I ignored all of that. Instead of my unique layering, I wore jeans and an over-sized hoodie. Mom looked amazed to see me. I ate a banana before I left for school. No one said anything to me at all.

Everyone at school was staring at me, like I was a dead person walking the earth. I must have looked it. I joined Mike and Eric with a smile. "Hey guys! What's up?"

"Wow... you look... horrible," Mike told me. "You okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine," I said with a shrug. And it wasn't necessarily a lie, but I wasn't sure if it was the truth either. I was just numb. I could still feel the effects of Monday night. My stomach ached from hunger--I'd spent the majority of three days throwing up. But I felt okay. Disorientated maybe, but okay.

I glanced over my shoulder. Edward's Volvo was just arriving. I expected to feel something other than a lurch in my stomach, but I felt nothing and that scared me more than ever. Our eyes met when he stepped out, but I turned away out of shame. "So, uh, how've you guys been?" I asked Mike and Eric to distract myself. My decision was made. I couldn't take it back, as much as I wanted to. It was time for me to move on... if I could.

"Good. You heard about Lauren and Ben, right?"

"They're dating? Or is there more to the story now?"

"Nope. That's it."

Jessica ran over and hugged me. "We were starting to think you had left Forks or something," she announced in such a cheerful tone I wanted to cry, her eyes on Mike. I wondered if they somehow managed to start dating in a few days. Mike did suddenly seem more interested with her, probably because I was out of the way

"No, uh, I'm still here," I said with an awkward smile. "We should hang out this weekend."

"Actually, we were all going to La Push," Mike announced.

I was the out cast again. I didn't belong there. Everyone else knew it before I did. English was my first class and it felt like my first day of school again. I was alone as I walked into class. Edward avoided my eyes. I avoided his. He looked so pale though, even more than usual, which I hadn't thought possible until then. The rings around his eyes were dark, as were his eyes. Whatever he did to help that, he wasn't doing it. I couldn't help thinking it was because now he didn't need to so often--I wasn't around. Or maybe he was trying to kill himself. I didn't know, and I couldn't ask.

My cheeks burned red all through class. Everyone was watching us critically. I knew how Mom felt when she had Michael. They had looked at her the same way. And I knew she left because of them mostly.

I left school early. When I got home, Mom and Michael were out. I found Dad on the couch. "Hey," I said, completely exhausted. "Can I skip school tomorrow? I think I'll drive down to LA." LA wasn't home so much anymore. Forks was home. But I needed some kind of break. "I could use some time with Phoebe and my friends there."

"I'll just take you to the airport with your mom, honey."

"No. No. I want to be alone. I can stop at a motel on the way. I just need lots of time to think. I'll be fine. I just want to think."

Charlie studied me, trying to measure out how much I could take. "All right. If you want to. Just be safe."

"Thanks!" I exclaimed. I could leave Forks! Not permanently. Just for a few days. I would go to LA and talk to people who didn't know him. That way, I wouldn't feel like I was being judged or like Edward would over hear.

For dinner, I made chicken pot pie, mashed potatoes, and salad. That and my extremely loud music blocked out the thoughts of Edward. I ate in my room, emailing all my friends to tell them I was coming home for a week. I would have so many plans by morning. And most of all, I could talk to Phoebe about the worst mistake of my whole life. She would somehow make sense of it all, like she always did.

I packed that night. I packed the book of letters from Edward, my guitar he gave me, all the CDs, the picture of us, and I always wore the ring he gave me. On top of that, I shoved one of my scrap books into my bag. I knew that I should have left them--destroyed them--if I was ever going to forget him. But the hope remained somehow. Stupid me.

When Friday morning came, I threw everything, plus a large pack of food, into the back seat of my Acura. Mom and Michael were going to fly, so they would reach LA before I did. I hugged them both, Maggie on a leash and Sadah in my hands. I smiled at Dad. "I'll come back," I promised him. "Don't worry. I'll be fine."

Charlie hugged me so tightly I could hardly breathe, but it was too quick to matter, like he was embarrassed. And then it was time for me to leave. I had a two day drive ahead of me at the most and I planned to drive slowly. I didn't mind the car for two days. I had Maggie and Sadah for company, even if they were lousy company. I had loads of music and two days completely to myself.

The first day felt like forever. My Acura smelled like Edward still. I missed his though and his laugh so much! I remembered how Alice told me he could confirm it if I discovered the truth. So Phoebe's goal in the next week was to help me find that truth. I wanted to know, even when I wasn't sure if he would ever take me back after that, after what I'd done to him. And if he did, we would have to start over again. I smiled at the thought of our head butting on our first day of school. Our discussion in English to our arguments, the glaring in Biology. I remembered his eyes when he saved me from Ben's car. I could see his arms around me. I could feel hi touch. And then him saving me the next night and taking me to dinner. No matter how I tried to deny it, that was our first date. I recalled how he nearly wrecked my car on the way home, even if he tried to deny it.

I ran the entire relationship through my head quickly, wondering why I hadn't waited to make a decision about the whole thing. I was scared and just out of it when I told Edward I was leaving. The high light of our relationship came right before I ended it. It felt so wrong! Edward and I were meant to be, even if we didn't look like it. And I wanted to take it all back. I just needed to know the truth about the entire Cullen family, but especially Edward. I silently promised |Edward that I would come back to him once I found the truth, and I prayed he could hear my thoughts that one time.


	21. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

I arrived at Phoebe's house around three Saturday afternoon and she ran to greet me. We hugged, like we always did. Phoebe was my best friend for a reason. Multiple reasons. She was always in a good mood. She was as eager to laugh as I was. A few minutes with her always lightened my mood. On top of that, she was a great listener, always ready to listen and she had great advice.

"We're gonna hang out, watch movies tonight. Tomorrow, we can go shopping," Phoebe told me as we walked inside. I set the largest of my two bags down on the table and put my dogs outside. "So how're you doing?" Phoebe asked, sounding worried and extremely interested. I didn't blame her on the worried part--I still looked like a zombie. But nothing about my life without Edward was interesting.

"I'm doing a little better," I replied with a brave smile. "I really miss him. I just need to figure out a few things. I can't decide if I can be with him and not know." I shook my head in frustration. "I want to be with him more than I've ever wanted anything before. He's everything I want. I still do want him. I love him. I just... need to know how much I can handle. So in the next week, I have to figure out what is more important--knowing the truth or just being with him. And that's why I have you! You're gonna help me."

Phoebe grinned. "Awesome! What movie should we watch?"

"Mm... Pride and Prejudice," I answered. "We should stay up all night and watch a ton of movies."

"You should sleep."

I stared down at my hands. I couldn't sleep. In the hotel room last night, I tried putting on my lullaby even and that didn't help. "Here, this is him," I told her, handing her the picture of us. I smiled sadly. "He's so romantic and never an idiot! You never think someone that gorgeous is going to have a good character, but he does. I've waited for him for sixteen years. And when I found him, I gave him up."

Phoebe hugged my shoulders. She was able to help me without even knowing it. "Do you think he'll take you back?"

"I hope so," I whispered. "But you didn't see how much I hurt him. I really hope he'll forgive me, but how could he? I promised to help him, then I left. I didn't even let him explain or try to. I feel like such an idiot! I dumped him in front of his parents too!"

"I would have done the same thing if it makes you feel any better."

"It doesn't, and it was a mistake. At first, I just cried and cried. I was terrified. I locked myself in the bathroom, but everywhere I looked, there was just another way to hurt myself. I kept thinking I would kill myself, but then the next thing that came to mind was what that would do to Edward. So I sat against the door, curled up into a ball, bawling my eyes out, too scared to even move. Then when I felt strong enough, I tried to move on, start thinking of ways to apologize. But I don't want to just apologize. I want to understand. I saw him at school and I didn't feel anything but regret, no pounding heartbeat or anything. I needed time to clear my head, and I figured Los Angeles was the best place for that."

Phoebe grinned. "Maybe you two just spent too much time together too soon," she suggested. "Maybe you both needed a break to realize how important you are to each other."

I nodded thoughtfully. "I just wish the break didn't cause a ton of pain and crap too, ya know?" I sighed folding my arms. "Especially when there's no guarantee that the wounds will ever be mended again."

"A broken heart means deeper feelings," Phoebe told me, and I knew that it was true. "A wound means there's room for healing."

I nodded. It was so true. I just hoped, prayed even that Edward would see it. I could live with myself if he took me back, but if he didn't, I didn't know if I would ever recover. His forgiveness meant the world to me and so, so much more.

Phoebe and I made brownies before we hurried upstairs to watch a movie. We made a list of all the movies to watch, all romances. I knew Phoebe was doing it for me. Pride and Prejudice, Gone with the Wind, Titanic, Legends of the Fall, and so on. Almost all the movies made me cry too, and I didn't mind. I wanted to cry. I wanted to see the love I once had--the love I gave up--and the best place was in the movies. Phoebe must have known I was torturing myself because she reached over to hold my hand. Whenever a new flow of tears came, she squeezed it and I could only imagine and wish it was Edward holding my hand.

We stayed up all night long, which was normal for us, but it made almost a week with hardly any sleep for me. I must have slept a few minutes though before Edward's face woke me up. We left early to go shopping, even though neither of us were fully awake. We drove Phoebe's SUV because she didn't want me to drive anymore "in my condition", as she put it. "You make it sound like I'm pregnant," I muttered, climbing in the passenger's seat.

It was Sunday. Sunny and beautiful. I laughed suddenly and shook my head. "I miss the rain," I admitted. I didn't understand any of my own behavior. It was like I was a whole new person. "Edward was always gone when it was sunny."

"I don't know how he could not take you back. You actually still want him. I wouldn't have tolerated any of it."

"YOu didn't see his face," I whispered.

And then it was all forgotten. We went into our favorite store. I glanced over at Phoebe. "While I'm here, I think I want to get a new tattoo," I told her thoughtfully. I remembered something Edward told me. He told me it in a dream, but I wondered if maybe he said it too while I was asleep. While I was asleep, maybe he whispered it in my ear. I sort of got the feeling he didn't just stare at the ceiling--or at me--for eight hours every day. But I couldn't be sure.

"Your dad almost killed you last time," Phoebe reminded me.

"So? I want to get my hair cut too. And I sort of want to go car shopping. Spend my money on crap, but whatever. I don't care at this point."

"That's new," Phoebe muttered. "Car shopping?"

I nodded, smiling at how her mind worked. Pointless comments first, then questions. "Yeah, I need something to distract me more. Shopping for clothes doesn't seem to be doing the trick right now. It'll give the magazines something to write about too. 'Timberlee Stone returns to LA after rough breakup and buys a Bentley'," I mumbled, feeling sick at all the things people could come up with for headlines.

Phoebe laughed. "A Bentley? Are you serious?"

"No, but maybe a truck or a BMW," I said, thinking of Rosalie's convertible.

"Okay. How much money do you have left? Haven't you spent it all yet?"

I shook my head. "No. I still have my trust fund too. I sort of actually want to meet my biological parents before... Well, you know, before the, uh... I want to figure out how much I'm like them, I guess. And how different."

Phoebe studied me, looking at me like I was crazy. "Timmy, you're not anything like them!" she exclaimed. "There's this strength inside you they never had, ever. There's this power. You control yourself, even if sometimes you make snap decisions," she added, seeing my doubtful look as Edward's mind flashed in my head again. "They couldn't do that."

"So you buy the crap they fed the court? You think they're insane?"

"No, I think they didn't care what happened to you or anyone else. I think you owe yourself more credit than you do. And maybe Edward wanted to understand that as much as you wanted to understand him. You say that the most defining day of your life is when you were raped, but that day hasn't even come yet, B-F-F." I smiled a little, half doubtful, half amused. "That day will be when you admit the truth about everything. Including your parents."

"That day won't come first of all. And second of all, I know what the truth is and that's enough."

"Really? Timmy! It's not enough because you're scared Edward's secret is like the one Charlie and Nancy kept from you," she told me. Always honest. Painfully honest, which was best for me anyway. "You're terrified that the secret will be worse than your own. That's the whole reason you left him. You were scared and with good reason with the attack. But you weren't even scared specifically about that. Just scared in general."

I nodded thoughtfully. I laughed then, trying to lighten the mood, but as usual, it didn't work. "They say addiction is learned from a mother and inherited from a father," I said quietly. "What happens when they both have the same, sick addiction?"

Phoebe tossed me a pair of jeans she knew I would like, and I did, but she was only trying to get me to snap out of it. "Then don't ever start and it won't become an addiction. You know who told me that?" Phoebe waited for a reply, but I only glared at her. "You did! Don't worry about it. Everything will be fine. And you're not like your parents."

"Damn, I hope so," I whispered and let out another nervous laugh.

Nothing more was said about the matter. Few could ever understand me the way Phoebe did. We came from completely different families and background. My family was broken from the start while hers was together. Happy. I was never jealous of her though. Instead, I was adopted into her family with open arms and she was adopted into mine. And her family became mine while my family became hers. We were closer than sisters. She was older than me by nearly a year and we looked nothing alike, but we were basically twins. Inseparable, with all the inside jokes that no one understood, even after we explained them. Phoebe was the middle child of three girls while I was the oldest of two. No sisters. But no matter what we did, we had fun! We could talk about any subject, completely open with each other.

We were walking down the road to our favorite restaurant for lunch since shopping made us both hungry. I smiled at the paparazzi, which swamped me faster than usual. I was never much of a hit with them because there usually wasn't any good stories or there were better stories somewhere. But they surrounded me then. "Are you moving back to LA?" "Why are you here?" "How did you like Forks?" Every question thought of was asked.

"Forks was really nice. I'm just here for spring break, then I'm going back to Washington," I replied. I learned early on in my modeling career that if I just hand them what they want--a picture, an interview, whatever--they would leave me alone and find someone else with a good story. So I left out the details of my breakup and gave them something boring, yet enough to publish if celebrity news was that bad.

"Did you like the rain?"

"The rain was nice. A big change, but nice." More questions were asked, and I answered them all. Then I entered the restaurant. Phoebe and I usually tried to eat where photographers and reporters weren't allowed inside, which was nice when we were there to talk "business"--relationships actually. I sat with Phoebe and ordered a salad. With a smile at the memory of our trip to Seattle, I ordered a Dr. Pepper too as a memorial of that day. "I'm paying," I told Phoebe. But before she could argue about how she had money, I continued, "So how's David?"

"Gorgeous as ever, but he still hasn't asked me out," she complained. She had liked our dear friend David for years. We suspected that he liked her too, but there was no sure signs, so we were left assuming.

"You should ask him out then," I suggested, sipping my soda. "I mean, you're a strong, independent, beautiful girl. You deserve the right to choose what you want from life. You can't always leave it up to the men to come forward. Usually doesn't work that way. Even with Edward, I had to pursue him most of the time, and he's extremely old-fashioned."

"Edward. Edward. Edward," Phoebe teased. "But I envy you so much, Timmy! All the guys in LA suck or they're taken."

"You should move to Forks after your birthday then. It's only like two months away. There are some great guys in Forks. You could have Michael's room. I don't think Dad would mind. But he'd like your company."

"He's 'Dad' Now? Not Charlie? When did that happen?"

I shrugged, smiling at her tone. "He's really not that bad. I guess I decided to grow up and give him the credit he's deserved for years. Anyway, he's a great dad."

Phoebe nodded in agreement. She had met Charlie on my sixteenth birthday. She loved him, but she just wouldn't understand how I felt about him and the whole divorce, even if it was years ago. The fact that I finally decided--or realized--that Charlie wasn't so bad added a point on her side. We didn't usually argue about anything, but when we did, whoever was right got a point. After seven years of friendship, the score was thirty-four to nineteen. I was winning only because I went to extremes to prove I was right. We would have probably been even if she went to the lengths I did.

"But you really should move to Forks. I could introduce you to all my friends. A whole bunch of the guys are single too. They even see it as cute, my clumsiness. Damsel in distress instead of pathetic," I continued. Phoebe oculdn't match up to my clumsiness, but she was close. We had a joke that we were best friends so we could catch each other when the other tripped. I knew she would appreciate the damsel in dress as much as I did. Even though it was slightly annoying coming from Mike. The only person I didn't mind it from was Edward. Or at least most of the time, I didn't mind it.

"I would, but I'm ready to be done with parents all together, ya know? Not sure if Charlie would be any different since he's a cop."

"So get an apartment. I actually already looked. They're pretty cheap if you get the right one."

"I could do it with my job here, but could I get a job with the same pay at Forks? And with school, wouldn't that be problematic?"

"Probably to the first question. Maybe to the second. I think you'd love it there. Rainy, green, and beautiful! I love it there now. It's home. Funny that the same year I started refusing to visit Dad for the summer is the same year Edward moved to Forks, right?"

"Yeah, I'll have to come visit for a while. Like some weekend. WHo would you hook me up with?"

I laughed at her tone and shook my head. I had a few ideas, but she would have to come meet them for herself. "So where should we go next?"

"We should stop by that art supply store. We could sit in Starbucks while you draw your new tattoo or decide what you want. We could pick up your mom, have the papers signed so it's legal, hand all that. What do you want the tattoo to be of anyway?"

"A rose vine," I whispered, watching Phoebe play with her food. "Something Edward said once in a dream."

"And what's that?" Phoebe pressed, like she thought the figure in my dream might be as romantic as the real Edward.

"'Life's like a rose vine. It spends years growing thorns. Some just prick your fingers. Some draw blood. Some get stuck in the wound. But at the same time, it's throwing you perfectly blossomed roses," I quoted distantly.

"He's wise! Genius. Poetic. But that sounds so weird coming from a teenage guy."

"I know!" I exclaimed, glad someone else noticed how strange that sounded. "Sometimes, he talks like he's from a hundred years ago. His morals are good. If I didn't see how young his face is, I would think he was born in the 1800's or something. I don't understand him."

"Good. If you did, would you love him as much as you do now?"

"Probably not. But I still want to know his secret."

We continued our conversation about Edward. I still considered him mine--I knew he had to be. I told her all the romantic things he'd done for me. I told her how he never slept or ate, how he loved speed. She knew as much as I did by the time we started towards Starbucks and the craft store. She knew how pale he was, how cold his skin was, how strong he was, how fast, how his eyes changed colors, how the rings around his eyes came and went. She knew how he struggled the darker his eyes were. But no matter how much I told her, I knew she wouldn't have any answers for me. She had even less answers than I did and my two answers were 1. forget it and 2. adrenaline. That was the only thing I couldn't do--forget. Because without Edward's speed and strength, I would be dead. Without him, I never would have find how much I loved Forks and how much I loved Edward Cullen, mysteries and all.

We were outside Starbucks, basking in the sunlight. I sat, sketching my tattoo on a piece of paper thoughtfully. I smiled and looked up at Phoebe. "When I told him I was raped, het old me something that helped so much more than you know," I whispered because I knew I could cry if I said it any louder. It's like he's... an angel watching out for me almost."

"Is he?" Phoebe asked. "Could that be his secret?"

"No. He thinks he's the bad guy. I don't think an angel would struggle with that any."

"Are you scared of him when he says that?"

"No. Not scared _of_ him. Scared _for_ him. He sounds so miserable when he says it. Somehow, I knew it's true in his mind. But he's so gentle. Maybe I'm blind, but I just can't see it."

"I don't either. In that picture you showed me, his eyes were strange, but not evil. _Intense_ but intense with love, passion, feeling."

"Yes! He's so perfect. I can't believe I let myself ruin that."

Phoebe hugged me closely. We finished our chat outside Starbucks. Mom liked the idea of me getting another tattoo only because she'd always wanted one. The pain of getting a tattoo was nothing compared to what I was feeling inside, to what I forced on Edward. The tattoo felt like a cat kneading on my lower back. The internal pain was like a thousand knives stabbing me in the heart. If that was what it felt like to live without Edward, I would do anything in my power to get him back and never, ever lose him again.


	22. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

I slept that night. But it took four hours of listening to my lullaby, two hours of crying, and one note to Edward before I was at peace enough to fall asleep. Once the sleep took over, I slept a total of nine hours, completely undisturbed. I woke up Tuesday morning around eight. Mom was at work already and Michael was over at a friend's house.

Mom's house was huge, the normal house in the area outside LA. The entire third floor was mine. Michael had the second floor. Mom and Ted's room was on the main floor. Our pool wasn't well kept anymore--I usually took care of it when I lived there. My room was exactly how I left it in February. The dresser and closet were nearly empty, except for the clothes I would never be able to wear in Forks. My bed, dresser, nightstand, and grand piano were the only things in my bedroom. My bathroom was on the left side of my fire place with the closet on the right. The walls were a deep red. All my furniture was antique, including my piano. Beautiful oak, dark washed bed frame, dresser, and nightstand. My piano sat in front of the never-used fireplace.

Down the hall was my music room, minus my piano. But I had a keyboard instead. All of my guitars were hung up on the wall, minus the one Edward gave me. My favorite drum set was in the corner. The walls were vibrant, bright colors, each a different one. My violin, viola, and cello were lined up next to the make shift recording studio I had put together with Phoebe. My keyboard was next to the door with a huge stack of music books next to it and another on the bench.

The last room on my floor was my "memory lane". I entered it, holding the picture of Edward and myself. I looked around at all the beautiful memories. I smiled through the tears. I loved that room. It was just happiness. No depression or bad memories. Just good ones. The only furniture in that room was a queen sized bed in the center of the room. It was positioned so I could easily see all the pictures. I set the picture frame down on the bed. It would stay there. I decided to sleep in my "memory lane" for the rest of spring break. I wanted to dream Edward was there with me and I hoped that the good memories would chase away the look on Edward's face.

I ate a bowl of cereal for breakfast and then called in my hair appointment. I knew exactly what I wanted to do with it. I wanted more layers and bags. A whole new look, for me anyway since I usually stuck to the same cut and style, to go with my new tattoo, which still stung a little.

I got four inches cut off, so my hair was just below my shoulders. I got my bangs done because it would help bring out my eyes. My curls bounced even more and I liked the change, though I wasn't really used to it. On the way to pick up Michael from his friend's house and go see a movie, I found a garage sale. A Ducati motorcycle caught my eye. I pulled over to look around at everything else, but especially the motorcycle. Why buy another car when I could get something new? Like a motorcycle, even though Charlie would kill me, and I knew that when I looked it over.

"Hey!" I greeted, smiling at one of the helpers at the garage sale. "How much for the motorcycle?"

"Two hundred. The brakes don't work," the man told me. "It's almost brand new though. 2008 Bayliss limited edition. Other than the brakes, it's in great shape."

"Can you fire it up for me? I want to listen to the engine," I said. I knew how to drive a motorcycle from one of my best friends teaching me on his. I knew I could get the brakes fixed in LA by the time I headed back to Forks.

The engine was a good one. "It's worth more than two hundred," I told him, looking for any visible damage on it, but I found none.

"We have to get rid of it. You interested?"

I nodded, feeling no regret and not even thinking about how long Charlie would ground me if he found out. "Very much so. Could you help me put it in my trunk? I'll take it." I handed him a check, and I knew I was carelessly spending my money, but I didn't think twice about it. I just had to find someone to fix it up for me, which wouldn't be hard. I could pay for it too if one of my grease-monkey friends couldn't do it.

I picked Michael up, then dropped him off with Katy when he decided to hang out with her instead. I understood only because I wasn't much fun with my constant talk of Edward. I went home for some time alone. I wanted to take a strike at writing a song for Edward. About us... if I could without breaking down. It took me all of two hours to have all the music written. My piano was slightly out of tune since I wasn't around to play it, but I made sure everything lined up and went to record it in my music studio. It was two AM before I was satisfied with all the takes. Listening to the CDs Edward made me, I grabbed an extra notebook and started writing.

Dear Edward,

I cringed. How else was I supposed to start a letter though? My darling Edward? I love you, take me back? I cringed at both of those too and continued writing.

As you've told me before, you can't read my mind. I realize now how many mistakes I made. I should have been more open with you. I told you many details of my life, but I left out why I needed to know your secret. Phoebe made me realize how I missed it, and I'm really sorry now that I waited so long to tell how how much I screwed up.

I have this weird defense mechanism. I have to know what I'm dealing with. I've been torn apart, thrown under the bus, run over, abused, neglected, and raped. It's not that I think you'll hurt me. It's that I need to be prepared in case something happens. Like with Jasper.

I don't know if you'll ever forgive me. But, please, understand that I was scared and I made a snap decision in that moment when it felt right. Since then, I've realized what a mistake I made. I'm sorry and I can never say that enough. Alice told me you could confirm the secret if I found out or discovered it for myself. I know you can't tell me, so I won't ask you anymore. But you must understand if I'm not strong enough to keep being scared of whatever it is. I only need to hear it once, but you can't tell me, so I'm on a mission to find it myself.

It might take a day, a week, a year or ten days, ten weeks, ten years. Maybe longer. But I love you. I'll wait for you until I find the answers I need, but I can't ask you to wait that long for me after what I did. I can only hope.

I love you forever! And I will never forget you.  
Timberlee

I closed my eyes. I was beyond tears. I would send the letter tomorrow after I finished picking out which take of my song was the best. Then I would send the CD and the letter together. I would leave Edward to make his decision, not begging or whining about what I wanted or needed him to do. It was up to him. If he could take me back after that, I knew I could find the answers I needed somewhere.

Hugging the picture of us to my chest, I fell asleep. I dreamt of Edward again. I was alone in the meadow again, shaking, but I wasn't crying. I wasn't sad. There was no feeling of hopelessness. I had hope and I knew, but I woke up before the answer was said. I had always had dreams. Small, stupid dreams, and long after I forgot the dream, it came true and I remembered. But that dream only gave me so much hope. I could only search in so many places. And in the end, what if I never found it? Could I live without knowing? Or would fear com against me?

I was in my room with Sadah, checking my email and replying the emails that had piled up. Mom brought me coffee and she left. The house was left to me again. I could play piano all day before I went to find a mechanic to fix the brakes on my new motorcycle. I edited the takes and found the best one, which was close to flawless. Edward would notice the tiny pause though. He was better than I was at any instrument. I burned a copy of the CD and stuck it in a case with the letter I wrote. My usual attempts to write music were lyrics and music, but Edward probably wouldn't understand the modern sound of my music, and he probably never imagined me as a rock star, so I decided to leave it to the music. He was a composer. He could find meaning in it easily.

I dropped my motorcycle off at the mechanic and went to lunch with Phoebe again. She called me up when I was leaving the mechanic and announced she had an awesome idea about how to figure Edward out. So I hurried to meet her.

"You should talk to his enemies if he has any," Phoebe suggested quietly, obviously proud of herself for coming up with the idea. "I mean, isn't that the best way to find out those bad secrets? Or any secret for that matter? Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer. Seems like his enemy--or enemies--would know the details."

I stared at her, feeling stupid for not thinking of that myself. "Phoebe, you are a complete genius!"

"Why, thank you! So he has enemies?"

"One. One for sure." I told her the story Jake told me that day in Port Angeles. Wolves, the Pale Faces, the Cold ones, and how much Jacob hated Edward. "That story never made sense, but I think it could if I had a few more details." I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it myself, even after that long. I was blinded by my love for Edward. The answer seemed to have been staring me in the face all along. But within a few days of leaving it to Phoebe, she had an answer for me. A perfect idea! She was so good at that. The one enemy of Edward's I knew of was Jacob Black. I knew he would help me, but only so much because he hated the fact that I was with Edward Cullen. Or once with him and soon to be with him again if I got my wish.


	23. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

Once I got the idea to ask Jake, I swore I would make him tell me if it was the last thing I did. Since I was positive Jacob could help me, I was able to relax for the last few days in Los Angeles. My motorcycle's brakes were fixed. I had a party for Michael's fifteenth birthday. I taught him to drive a car and even my new motorcycle on his request. I spent hours with most of my friends at the beach or shopping. I felt alive again.

I decided to leave Maggie and Sadah under Mom's care instead of bringing them back to Forks with me. They were neglected too much when they were with me and Mom was emotionally attached to both. I packed my keyboard, my favorite bass guitar, plus my electric, and my motorcycle in the truck, and I set off towards home on Saturday morning. Phoebe promised to come visit me within two months and swore to email me daily for news about Edward.

Billy was over when I walked in the house Sunday night. Dad looked surprised to see me, like he expected me to run off somewhere. But I had no where else to go. No where else I was _willing to go._ I wanted to be with Edward again.

Monday morning, he wasn't at school. The next day, another no show. Wednesday, the same thing. I drove down to La Push to see Jake after school on Wednesday. I sat on the ground, watching him work on his Volkswagen Rabbit. I wanted so badly to just ask him straight out for his help, but it seemed useless. Edward was gone. As was Alice. They weren't at school for whatever reason they had and I didn't know if the reason was me or something else. I didn't know if they had moved away or if maybe someone had lost control and nearly killed someone or what.

"So, uh, do the Pale Faces have a name? Like... do you believe the story?" I asked awkwardly. I just wanted to ask Jake what Edward was because he knew! I knew he did, but he wouldn't tell me if I asked. Maybe because he wasn't supposed to or maybe just because he hated Edward for some reason.

"It's just a legend," Jake told me quietly.

"But the treaty is real, so wouldn't that mean the legend is real too?" Jake only shrugged and I closed my eyes in frustration. "What was the treaty about? What were your ancestors protecting people from?"

"The Pale Faces weren't allowed to come to La Push and if any human was harmed in any way, we could destroy them."

"Any _human?_ But isn't that what the Pale Faces were?" I knew the answer. But I wanted Jake to say it.

"No. It's just a story, Tim. And I'm not really supposed to talk about it anyway."

"Sorry," I whispered.

And so the days went on. The Cullens weren't at school, but I looked for them anyway. After school, I would drive out to La Push to get another part of the story, another pointless detail to add to the larger puzzle. I would drive home around dinner time and make the most complicated meal I could to distract myself. And then my nights were spent in my room listening to the CDs Edward made me, reading his book of letters, looking at our pictures, still hoping in the most hopeless of all circumstances. But I refused to give up if there was a small chance I could find the answer.

I dreamt of Edward every night. We were in the same forest, in the same meadow every time. We wore the same clothes, the same expressions on our faces. We stood in the same places as always. I always told Edward in a whisper, "I know what you are." His voice was fierce with a disgusted tone directed towards himself when his reply came--"Say it."

And then I would wake up. I never got any farther than that. Days turned to weeks and no more answers than before. It was Saturday. Jake was busy. Dinner was in the oven. I sat at the kitchen table with my laptop. I looked through all my Google searches from the day. All of them trying to give me some small hint. Adrenaline rushes, extreme strength, the Pale Faces, the Cold Ones, pale skin, cold skin, sleeping disorders, eating disorders, eyes changing colors, rings around the eyes, etc. No answers were found with any of them. Today, I was searching for Quileutte legends in the hopes of finding the whole story somewhere online.

I did. Only the article I found called them "human parasites", not the Pale Faces or the Cold Ones. My next search was on human parasites. Far back on page twelve of my search, a single word caught my attention. _Speed._ I opened the link. The site was Vampires A-Z. I frowned, having not expected that.

Speed, pale skin, strength, cold to the touch, beauty that was unmatched, Jasper's reaction to my blood, Edward skipping Biology when we were finding out our blood type, never sleeping, never eating...

I sat back in my chair, amazed. Could it even be possible? Could the mane I loved--so gentle and caring--be a _vampire?_

_I'm the horror story you wanted as a reason we shouldn't be friends._

_You have to tell me if I hurt you. You have to help me._

_I'm the bad guy._

I covered my mouth, tears coming. I closed my laptop and ran out of the house into the cold rain. I was immune to the cold though. I ran and ran until I couldn't anymore, then I turned off the road into the green forest, panting. My whole body was trembling. Edward--my Edward--was a vampire. It was so obvious now. Why hadn't I seen it--?

I recognized the breathing pattern behind me--it was the same as in my dream. The same dream I'd been dreaming for a month. I closed my eyes because I knew it was him. "You're incredibly fast and strong. Your skin is pale white and ice cold. You never go out into the sun light. You never eat or drink anything. You never sleep. And sometimes, you talk like you're from a different time... I know what you are," I whispered.

I couldn't see Edward's face, but I knew what it looked like from the memory of all my dreams. It was etched with disgust and pain. "Say it."

"Vampire," I said, feeling strange because I wasn't afraid, and he came up behind me.

Edward grabbed my arm. At a swift pace, he pulled me along behind him. "Where are we going?" I asked, running to keep up with his brisk--yet easy--pace.

"You have to see what we look like in the sunlight." He put me on his back and ran through the forest faster than ever before. I hung onto him, but I knew he would never drop me. I trusted him. _I trusted him--a vampire._ Why was I not shocked by that? Why did it feel so right?

Edward let go of me when we reached a meadow on top of a mountain. I caught myself on a tree and he steadied me, almost as a reflex, unbuttoning his shirt with one hand. I saw the small ray of sunlight coming down. I feared for Edward as he stepped towards it. He hated himself _because he was a vampire._ And now he was admitting it. Edward kept his back to me. "This is what I am," he said, and he turned.

I stared as he stepped back into the sun. He sparkled, like a thousand jewels. "It's like diamonds," I said breathlessly. "It's beautiful."

"Beautiful?" Edward repeated in disgust, almost _amusement _in all his disbelief that I would find it beautiful_._ "This is the skin of a killer, Timberlee." He stepped out of the sun.

"And this is the daughter of a killer!" I exclaimed, grabbing his arm so he couldn't walk away. I saw the look on his face--confusion mixed with the same disgust--and I made him meet my eyes. "You remember that school shooting? I said it was my fault, and I wouldn't explain why I said that. My parents were the shooters, Edward. They escaped from prison to kill me because I refused to go see them. Instead of killing me, they killed nineteen others. My father was a serial killer from fifty years ago and he just kept killing in prison once he was actually caught. Charlie remembers him from his childhood! Charlie could tell you why he wanted to be a cop when he was a teenager, and it was because of my biological dad killing so many people, being all over the news. My biological mother enjoyed it, enjoyed killing people. It was an addiction to them. They couldn't stop if they had even wanted to, and obviously they didn't. They killed more people than I know. That killing is _in my blood,_" I said with a clenched jaw, too angry to try and sound compassionate for Edward.

"I've killed people before," Edward told me quietly.

I shook my head. "I'm not afraid of you."

"Then ask me the most basic question--what do we eat?"

"It doesn't matter," I said stubbornly. "You won't hurt me."

Edward studied me, like he was trying to see if I was just lying. He frowned. "Your blood is too tempting. I might... I can't lose control with you. You intoxicate me. You're like my own, personal brand of heroine. You're a drug to me." He touched my throat with his ice cold hands, and I wanted to shrink back because he looked like he was tortured, but I forced myself to stand still. "You're the most important thing to me ever. And now you know the truth. You see the monster in me."

I shook my head defiantly. "No. I don't see a monster," I told him, and his frown deepened. "I see someone who tries hard to be good and he is good. You're not a monster or I would be dead already."

Edward leaned forward, his face close to mine. "I am the world's most deadly predator. Everything about me invites you in. My face, my voice, even my smell. As if I would need that. You couldn't out run me. You couldn't fight me off."

"I don't want to," I whispered, meeting his eyes and refusing to blink. "I surrender now."

"Are you scared?"

"No. I trust you."

"Don't."

"Edward, I'm here. I trust you. I'm not scared."

Edward made me back into a rock, his arms blocking my two escape routes--left and right. His eyes met mine. Topaz, beautiful. His face looked shocked, like he expected me to hate him. He leaned in. "Now I'm scared," I said, and I felt so stupid for phrasing it that way. Edward froze, looked away, and took a step back.

"Good," he whispered.

"No. I'm not scared of you! I'm scared that you'll let this come between us. I feel like you're going to disappear. I'm scared that you will." I took his hand to make sure he believed me. The cold temperature of his skin suddenly felt different.

As amazed as he looked, he apparently did believe me. "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb," he muttered, meeting my eyes again. He searched them for any sign of fear. But I wasn't afraid of him. I knew the truth, and I didn't care.

"What a stupid lamb," I whispered stepping forward, holding his hand with one of mine and placing the other on a tree limb to keep my balance.

Edward's lips broke into a small smile. "What a sick, masochistic lion," he replied, his face going serious again. I met his eyes and took another step towards him. He backed up that time, as if he thought I would be scared if I came any closer. I took another step and there was nowhere else for him to go. His back was to a rock on the side of the mountain. I took the last step forward. He looked scared, but I knew he would control any urge he had. Slowly, shyly, hesitantly, I reached my hands up into his long hair, still watching his eyes for any sign that I needed to stop, but there was none. I smiled at him gently because I knew my blood tortured him. _I tortured him_. I kissed him. His lips were still. And he was shaking, like he was afraid he would kill me if he responded to my touch.

"I'm not afraid of you," I whispered, and I kissed him again. I knew his feelings, and I knew mine. He wasn't responding because he was afraid of what he might do to me. I pulled back to see if anything had changed in his eyes. Nothing had. I caressed his lips once more, longer that time. Finally, he responded to my touch. He wrapped his arms around me when he finally realized I wasn't going anywhere, but he still searched my face for any sign of fear. Not fear of this new emotion I felt, fear of him. There was none--I wasn't afraid. I smiled at him when he pulled back. He was a vampire, and I knew what he was capable of. He could read minds. He could push away cars with his bare hand. He could run faster than any Olympian. But I wasn't afraid for some reason, defying all common sense I ever had and defying human nature.

We sat on the damp ground. I knew his secret. And I was sure of three things. First, Edward Cullen was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him--and I didn't know how dominant that part was--that thirsted for my blood. And last, I was, without a doubt, unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him, despite what he was.


	24. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

Edward spent so long watching me, and I could only stare back. This meadow had never been part of my dream, but it was real. We laid on the ground, not even talking because we didn't need to then. Edward and I watched the sunset. It was the most beautiful I'd ever seen. In the last second before the sun disappeared, the light hit Edward's face and it sparkled like a million diamonds. He looked away from me--ashamed. I touched his face softly, blocking a small portion of the sun. "You are what you are, but you're not a monster," I whispered.

Edward was silent for a moment, and I knew he was thinking about what I said. He obviously didn't believe what I said. Then he stood, pulling me up to my feet. "I should get you home," he said as the rain started to fall. He ran me down the mountain, but then we slowed to a walk--human paced walk--when we reached the road. I didn't know why because no human eye could see how fast he moved. And I was the only one observant enough to notice the change in the wind. But I guessed that he wanted it to last longer, like I did.

"Crap!" I exclaimed suddenly. "Dinner..."

Edward grinned. "Don't worry about it. Alice saw you leaving the house--in a vision, I mean--and got it out for you. She forged a note that says you went on a walk. We're covered."

I smiled up at him, amazed at how vampires thought of everything, and I was glad that Alice would help with almost anything if she was asked. We walked through the rain back home. Charlie's cruiser was parked in the driveway. Carlisle's Mercedes was parked on the curve. I stopped on the front porch to listen, wondering what Carlisle could possibly have to say to Charlie and clutching Edward's hand so he wouldn't leave me.

"She's doing better now. Too well," Charlie was saying. "I'm just afraid she'll lose it after a few days of doing all right though."

"She's stronger than that. Besides, the fact that she came back says she's willing to give Forks a second try. She'll give Edward a second try too." Alice! It was Alice.

I elbowed Edward for not telling me it was Alice. I suddenly understood why he was so hard. I was honestly freaking out that Carlisle was there--because Edward would hear every theory Charlie came up with out of Carlisle's mind, and not just Charlie's mind. But I knew how Dad loved Alice, so I opened the door.

Alice smiled when she saw Edward was with me, my hand in his. She gave me a look that told me she was happy for me. For us. Edward and I. But she didn't seem to mind the fact that I obviously knew what they both were... Alice a vampire? That seemed even more strange than Edward as a vampire for some reason. Probably just because I'd seen how Edward had glared at me on my first day of school. Alice had always been cheerful and loving. Alice turned back to Charlie then. "I should go," she announced, and she was too happy to know that Charlie probably wouldn't approve. But she hurried out, squeezing me into a hug on the way towards the door.

"I thought you dumped him..." Dad said, clearly confused by the ups and downs of teenage relationships. Even if ours was strange... Extremely strange.

Edward's look stopped me from replying. "With your permission, sir, I'd like to try this again. We weren't communicating clearly with each other and it caused problems. She was right to leave. It gave us both time to think. We worked it out and we're both ready to give this a second try," Edward said quietly. His hand tightened around mine when he felt me shaking. Asking Charlie Stone for his permission to date me was old fashioned--which Dad would have liked usually. And calling him "sir" was another thing that had me nervous. I wasn't sure if it was a bad thing or a good thing, even when his face changed when he heard it. Dad had spent the longest time muttering things under his breath about Edward as f I couldn't hear them. Dad truly despised Edward, and nothing was going to change that. At least not yet.

"Timberlee?" Charlie said, arms folded, as he looked to me for a better explanation. It was like he was already about to make a decision and whatever I said was the piece that would help him decide.

I glanced up at Edward nervously. "Um... I just made a quick decision after a fight. I was upset and freaking out. I was emotional and crazy. I would have never left him if I knew what it would to to both of us. But we went on a walk and we talked it through..." Dad raised his eyebrows at my tone. But he couldn't understand. So I closed my eyes, trying to force the thought of what we'd talked through out of my mind. "Um... We decided to give it another try. But we wanted to ask your permission," I finished, feeling Edward fighting back a grin, and he obviously knew what I was thinking about. He didn't have to hear my thoughts to know that.

"You told me you wouldn't date anymore if things didn't work out."

I nodded quickly. "I know what I said. And I'm also asking your permission to break that promise." I glanced up at Edward again. "I love him, Dad."

"You're sixteen, Timberlee. You don't know anything about love."

"I know enough to know that I love him." I let go of Edward's hand and stepped towards Charlie, who was leaning against the back of the couch. "When I started dating years ago, you told me to remember the people I know loved me. Right?" He rolled his eyes because he knew I was right. "You said to compare the two and see what I come up with. You're one of those people, I did compare them, and if you want us to wait, we will. But we came to you, didn't we? We didn't try to sneak around or get pregnant." I didn't even know if Edward could get me pregnant anyway, and he wouldn't anyway, but I didn't say either. "Doesn't that count for something, Dad?"

Charlie sighed. "All right! Fine!" he yelled, still reluctant. "But you'll have more rules than before and than you did at your mom's house. No boys upstairs when I'm not here. When you're out with him, curfew is ten, and I have to know where you're going, what you're doing, who you're with, and so on. If you both can agree to abide by those rules and any others I come up with, I suppose... I approve. And it's only going to stay that way as long as neither of you break any rules."

It sounded like I was being punished, but I nodded quickly, almost bursting with excitement. Edward smiled. "We have a Biology test tomorrow. Want me to help you study since you're a total genius?" I asked Edward.

"Why not? But you have a French test, too."

I stuck my tongue out at him because my plan had been to only study for the Biology test so we could take the other time to talk or whatever without Charlie getting mad. But that plan was ruined. We ran upstairs to get my school books. I saw Charlie's dog, Trooper, cowering in the corner of his room, whimpering. "Why's he so freaked out?" I inquired, frowning.

"Animals know we're predators," Edward explained, as I handed him my books. "They have reasons to be afraid, ya know. Especially of us since we survive of animal blood."

"Oh..." That hadn't even come to mind. I knew Edward didn't hunt humans or I'd be dead already. But I hadn't thought of what else he could hunt either. "You don't hunt like... domestic animals, do you?"

"No. More like deers, bears, mountain lions, and whatever else."

I followed him downstairs with the thought of Edward wrestling a bear. Amusing and hard to imagine, but he was a vampire, wasn't he? And I didn't know all of what vampires were capable of yet. Edward carried all my books and notebooks while I only carried two pens and my iPod. Edward sat in Dad's chair, which was conveniently placed so it could be seen from Charlie's position on the couch. I opened my homework folder and Government book first. Edward was playing with my iPod, and I didn't know why because he'd seen my playlist on iTunes already. "All my songs are on here," he observed. "You must really like them."

I nodded quickly. "Yeah! They help me relax. They're all so beautiful."

Edward smiled at me, but he didn't seem to think there was anything special about them. "The String Quartet Tribute to Evanescence," he read off my list of albums. "You have a lot of classics on here. Why exactly do you like classical instruments so much? Especially when you came listening to rap the first week?"

I laughed, glancing up from my worksheet. "It's passionate," I answered thoughtfully. "Helps me think and it's so beautiful. Relaxing. I like how it shows so much about the composer, yet so little too. It's creative as any piece of Van Gogh's art work. But it's not an art you can _see._ You have to listen for it and be open to it."

Edward only smiled in return, like he hadn't expected that answer. He helped me through Government, French, Biology, and my Trigonometry homework. He could explain everything in "people terms" on a level I could understand. Whenever we said something that didn't relate to school, I could hear Dad groan in annoyance. Edward didn't apparently notice, but I knew he did.

When I finished the last of my homework, I tossed my pen down. Edward had moved onto playing with my phone. I wasn't sure why because there wasn't anything incriminating on it. I even let Dad look at it if he asked. "Are you texting someone?" I asked.

"No. Just reading texts from Phoebe. All unread and there's twelve."

I laughed. "My best friend. She probably wants to know about boys here."

"No. I think it's in code. This one says 'Gronkey, I talked to him.' What does 'gronkey' mean anyway? Is that just some unknown language?"

I laughed at his confused look. "It's a nickname. She gave it to me years ago. You can text her if you want. Just make sure she knows it's you and don't ask any weird questions because she'll have weird answers. I have to approve the texts too before they're sent. I know you won't send anything I won't like, but her replies won't exactly all be appropriate."

"That takes away all the fun," Edward muttered, and handed me my phone. "I like the hair cut by the way."

"Thanks. Not too different?"

"No, it's nice! Different, yes, but I like it." He smiled at me, but we both grew quiet when Dad walked into get another beer. I leaned back in my chair, trying not to laugh because Charlie was oblivious to the fact that it was obvious he was spying on us. And Edward was grinning at me. My favorite grin. Crooked and gorgeous.

"So why does your family support us so much?" I asked quietly.

"They all found their soul mates. Carlisle and Esme. Jasper and Alice. Rosalie and Emmett. I've never had anyone before you. I guess they're happy to see me happy. Not to mention the fact that they all love you to death." Except Rosalie, but that didn't need to be said. We both knew how she felt about me, and us dating. So that would be left unsaid.

"Did you ever go searching?"

"A few times. But there's only so many options when you're in my situation. So I gave up. My family never searched. Their mates just came. Like you just came. I didn't have to search for you."

I smiled, blushing because I knew Charlie had over heard it from his position by the fridge. He glanced over his shoulder at us every few seconds. But he wasn't going to see anything. Edward didn't usually show affection with touch, other than holding my hand or putting an arm around my waist, but that was usually just to keep me feeling secure and on my feet. He touched my cheek, put a hand on my back gently, supported my weight, always ready to save me from tripping. Kisses weren't as special to me as the things he said, the way he looked at me, the way he proved he loved me.

"So if you could play any instrument and only one, what would it be?" Edward asked.

"Like I only had the opportunity to play one or the ability?" I inquired, though it didn't really matter.

"Ability."

"Um... Guitar or piano. Can't decide between those two, sorry. Guitar because it's fun and you can play just about anything on it. But I love my piano! Couldn't live without it. It helps me sleep, just that simple, yet so beautiful sound. I used to play all night until I eventually was tired enough to fall asleep. Mom cried all the time when she heard me play. She's emotional in that way."

Edward nodded in understanding. He knew how emotional Mom was. "You can play my piano whenever you want to," he said. He paused for a reaction from Dad or maybe just to listen to his thoughts. I cringed at the thought. "Esme's been dying to hear you play ever since she found out you could. And she wants to watch too."

"As proof you're not the one playing?" I joked.

"You'll have to ask her that," Edward replied, also joking. "No, she'd trust you. She just says you're too beautiful not to look at. And she's right, but she's too excited. It's rather frightening. Alice wants to take you on a weekend trip to Olympia to shop. Neither of you need anymore clothes though. You both have enough to last you a hundred years."

I nodded in agreement. A hundred years? I wish I could have the exact same body for a hundred years. There was a way... "You looking for something, Dad?" I asked.

Charlie was still at the fridge. He glanced over his shoulder at me. "Yeah, where'd you put the ice cream, honey?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Wow... Dad, you sure practiced that one over and over," I muttered, grinning at Edward. "You're looking in the _fridge. _The ice cream is in the freezer." I glanced at Edward, who had busied himself checking my Trigonometry homework. "How'd I do on that?"

"Numbers four and ten are wrong, but other than that, it's perfect," Edward answered.

I looked at the worksheet in frustration. "What's wrong with them?" I asked when I couldn't find the problem. Edward made examples to help explain the problems to me--he refused to just tell me. As he finished my tutoring session, it was getting closer to ten. I wondered if I could get past Dad's ten o'clock rule by saying we weren't out, so curfew didn't count. But I figured Charlie was probably already about to change his mind about our relationship. The second the clock hit ten, Charlie told me it was time for Edward to leave, and Edward was already on his feet to help me take my books back up to my room. "You coming back?" I whispered, tossing my phone onto my bed so I could help him put away my books.

"Funny how he said no boys in your room when he's not there," Edward mumbled, and I also found amusement in that. So I was still technically allowed to have him over when I was asleep. "It was like he knew."

"He doesn't or I would be in boot camp already."

Edward grinned. "Probably. He already thinks you should be sent to an all girl's school." I cringed at the idea. "When he's asleep, I'll be back and I have to hunt some too."

I noticed that his eyes were getting darker already. "They usually don't change so fast," I pointed out.

"Yeah, the more I'm with you, the faster they turn sometimes. The more I'm with you, the easier it is. But your wrists are killing me."

I glanced down at the blue veins on my arms and quickly pulled my sleeves down over them. "That help any?"

"Yeah, a little. But your _throat..." _He stopped as if he thought I would be afraid by that. I was more afraid that I wasn't scared by that. He shrugged, a hand on my back. "You got another tattoo," he whispered in my ear, and I wondered how he knew.

I nodded and lifted the back of my shirt so he could see it. The rose vine was twisted and knotted. The thorns had blood dripping from them and the roses somehow looked liquid because they were actually made of blood. In the vine, those words Edward spoke were written lightly, barely visible. No one could see them unless they had eyes as good as Edward's or if they already knew it was there. "It's beautiful, and I usually don't like that kind of stuff. It's very artistic and unique," Edward told me, pulling me back so he could hug me. "Sometimes the roses take a hundred years to blossom, but you're hear now," he whispered in my ear. "You're my rose." I closed my eyes for a second to savor that moment, but he was gone, leaving through the front door by the time I opened them.


	25. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-Four

Edward left me a note on the feather pillow he usually leaned against when he stayed with me. I noticed it first thing when I woke up and the rose drawn on the corner of the page. I smiled. It was better than I could have done. But of course it was! Vampire eyes were better than humans. I picked up the letter. "Had to go find Alice and talk to her about something. I'll be back. All my love," I read out loud. His words seemed urgent, but I couldn't be sure because he'd taken the time to sketch a perfect rose into the corner. His writing looked the same as always, not rushed or messy. I was worried though. What if Alice had seen some kind of warning?

I shook my head. Edward would explain at school. Charlie was in his room dressing for work when I finished in the bathroom. I could hear him humming a song Mom used to sing to me when I was a baby. It was sort of like a family lullaby.

I reached the kitchen and almost dropped my coffee cup on the floor. Edward was outside, his car on the curb. He was leaning against it, arms crossed and a smile on his face. I glanced towards the stairs. "Ring the doorbell," I mouthed. I was too happy to send him away, but there wasn't really a good way to get past Dad if he saw Edward's Volvo. Dad wouldn't be suspicious if Edward rung the doorbell though. For being a cop, he was unusually easily convinced of things.

I hugged Edward once I opened the door. I was so happy to see him. It still felt like he was going to disappear now that I knew what he was. "Thought I'd drive you to school," he explained, hearing Dad's heavy footsteps on the stairs.

I grabbed Edward's hand quickly. I needed the support. Not exactly physically. More just mentally. "Hey, Dad," I called, walking into the kitchen. "Is it okay if I ride with Edward to school today?"

Dad looked Edward over, then looked to me. "Have you eaten yet?" he asked, clearly trying to change the subject and avoid answering.

"Um... Not yet, but I can eat a bagel on the way." I moved to the counter to toast a bagel and put some cream cheese on it. "You hungry, Edward?" I asked just in case Dad noticed something unusual in me not inviting him to breakfast with us. I knew what Edward's answer would be anyway.

"I already ate, but thanks," Edward replied, picking up my backpack and coat off the floor where I'd dropped them. I held my bagel in my mouth as Edward helped me into my coat. "Do you mind, Dad? I mean, it's not like we can skip school without you hearing it somewhere," I mumbled.

"Fine, it's fine. Just have a good day at school."

He didn't exactly sound sincere, but I didn't care. "Thanks!" I exclaimed and ran out the door with Edward to his car. Dad watched from the kitchen window. We went through the same routine as always--Edward opened my door, I smiled, maybe blushed too, and stepped into the passenger's seat, Edward ran around the car at human speed, and got in next to me. He smiled at me as he started the engine and we started down the road at a speed Charlie would approve of.

We were silent on the way to school, but that was fine with me. The second we were out of sight, Edward sped up to his preferred speed. It took not even half of the usual time to get to school. Edward parked across two parking spots, mine and his. I laughed and stepped out. People were staring like the first day we came together. I saw Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice arrive in a Jeep Wrangler, Emmett standing in the back and Jasper driving. I smiled at Emmett, who I officially considered my big brother. I high-fived him as I passed. He laughed at how far I had to reach up--he was much taller than me. I looked even smaller next to him than I did next to Edward.

I hugged Alice quickly too. "Thanks for covering yesterday," I told her. She had really made it possible for me and Edward to be there together.

"Anything for my human sister," Alice replied. She squeezed me closer and then smiled at Jasper, who stood in his usual military stance, looking to be in pain. But now I knew why.

I laughed suddenly, remembering a metaphor I'd used what seemed like years ago. "My diet story. That's why you said it was so close!" I exclaimed, looking at Edward. "I was joking and now I totally understand." I was the chocolate cake in the oven. Edward thirsted for my blood and it was almost too good to resist. He was on the strictly animal blood diet. It made a ton of sense now.

Edward nodded with a grin in Alice's direction. "We'll tell you at lunch," he promised her, and led me towards building two for English. His arm around my waist this time, not my shoulders, he leaned closer to whisper in my ear. "You don't mind sitting with my family at lunch, do you?"

"Nope. Time to try again with Rosalie. Anyway, my friends don't like me anymore. I guess that's what happens in high school."

"Why? Did something happen?"

"No. They just don't seem interested anymore. Except maybe Angela. She's still as sweet as ever."

"So we'll tell Alice on the way to lunch and go mend things with your friends. We still have tomorrow to sit with my family."

I nodded, leaning my head against his chest. He squeezed my waist, which made me smile. I loved how gentle he was. A gentle vampire. We entered English together and hung up our coats on the rack by the door. I continued to my seat while Edward followed a step behind me. The bell hadn't rung yet, so I turned around in my desk to talk to Anthony, who seemed down.

"What's wrong?" I asked, smiling at him.

"I need a date for prom."

"Any prospects?"

"None so far." I glanced at Edward at that. He was grinning proudly. "I'm too scared to ask anyone," Anthony explained.

"Maybe someone will ask you."

"Don't want to take the chance that no one will. Who do you think I should ask once I get up the courage? You're so happy with Cullen. How'd he win you over?"

I frowned. I had to stop and think about that one. "Um... He didn't actually. I think I won him over," I said, and caught Edward playfully rolling his eyes, but there was some truth to what I said. "You should ask Michelle, Taylor, Nora, or maybe Sara. They're all single. Their personalities would go well with yours. You sit with them at lunch too. How hard could it be?"

"Can you ask Nora for me?"

"No, but I can talk to her and maybe suggest she ask you out. She's extremely out-going. No fear."

"I don't get why anyone said you were shallow," Anthony muttered, and Edward stiffened. He was too protective of me. Physically, and he wasn't about to let anyone say I was shallow and hurt me mentally either. He heard it in people's thoughts all the time, I knew, but thinking it and saying it were two completely different things. "You're really nice actually," Anthony continued. "I like you. I mean, not like that," he added quickly when he saw Edward's furious look. "Nobody here's taken me seriously, except you."

I smiled at him. "Glad I could be there for ya."

Anthony seemed in a better mood already. The bell rang and I turned so I was sitting properly in my desk. Edward was chuckling when I looked at him. He handed a note with the explanation when he saw my confused, yet interested look.

"_Poor guy thought I was going to attack him for saying he liked you_," I read silently. I frowned. Something told me Edward wouldn't have been happy if he had misunderstood what Anthony said, but he hadn't. With his supernatural power, he couldn't misunderstand anyone but me. Or at least it would be hard to. So I would just be as clear as possible with him. I remembered his reaction that night in Port Angeles so long ago when I asked him why he saved me. He misunderstood me because he couldn't read my mind. He thought I meant something like I wanted to die.

Edward met me on the way to lunch and we found Alice standing with Jasper. We explained my chocolate cake metaphor. Alice giggled and Jasper allowed himself a smile. Emmett, who must have overheard from his position ten feet away, burst into laughter. That or he found it funny how I leaned into Edward to keep my balance.

Edward bought me a salad, a yogurt, and some water for lunch. He watched me arrange the veggies with a grin. "Edible art?" he inquired, leading me towards the table where Lauren, Mike, Jessica, and Ben sat.

"So you're back together?" Jess asked.

"Yeah. Do you mind if we sit with you?" I replied, but only Edward detected the fear in my voice. Being rejected wasn't pleasant for anyone, even if I tried not to let it bother me.

"Sure," Jess answered, but she sounded annoyed.

"If you don't want us to, that's fine," I said. "I completely understand."

"No, it's fine," Lauren told me, more genuine. "I missed you! I've been worried that you were losing it. It's good to have our friend back." _Our friend. _That implied two things at least. One, Jess, Mike, and Ben shared that feeling--missing me. And two, that Edward wasn't their friend. Friend as opposed to friends. I would have liked to leave right there to go sit with sweet, darling Alice. But instead, I smiled my thanks and sat down next to Mike. Edward apparently didn't notice the second thing implied, and I was glad, even though I knew he really had.

"So what'd you do over spring break?" Lauren asked me.

"I went to LA. Went to the beach, shopping. I got a motorcycle. It's still hidden in my trunk though. Dad doesn't like them. And I got a new tattoo--"

"I want one, but my parents tell me I'll regret it in forty years," Jessica muttered. "You're so lucky!"

I shrugged. "It hurts a lot if you're not prepared for it. My friend Kasey got one and cried because it hurt so bad. And it depends on where you get it. She got it wrapped around her rib cage. I could never do that. It'd hurt so bad! But I do want at least one more tat."

"Of what?" Edward inquired.

"Something in Hebrew. It's a passage from the Bible actually. It means 'to desire more than my next breath'," I answered quickly. "It basically just means that I want more from life. But I won't if you don't want me to. And I might not anyway. It's just an idea."

"Where would you get it?" Mike asked.

"My wrist. It would be pretty small."

Angela joined us then with a large group, including Anthony. She hugged me and smiled at Edward, who returned it. Once she was over there, I felt much more comfortable. Angela was so good-hearted. She reminded me of Alice a little bit. Only Alice had this life vibrating off her--kinda like Jake did. I loved that in both of them.

Biology was spent taking notes. After Gym was over, I stood outside with Edward. I was leaning against him for no particular reason. Alice and Jasper were usually pretty shy about showing their relationship in public. Or at least the depth of it. It was restricted to being together, holding hands or some other form of touch, and a gentle smile from Alice when Jasper's looked became especially pained. Rosalie and Emmett were open with their affections. Constantly flirting, but they were an excellent couple. Edward and I were somewhere in the middle of the two others. His arm was almost always around me and he apparently liked to show me off with a cocky smile painted on his beautiful face. But most of our flirting wasn't obvious. We just liked to be together.

Edward and I stood by his Volvo, talking quietly. Alice and Jasper were across the parking lot, her arm around him. Rosalie and Emmett stood next to his Jeep Wrangler. I couldn't hear their voices, but I could see Rosalie's face light up when she laughed.

I buried my face in Edward's side. He rubbed my arm comfortingly. "What?" he asked me softly.

Edward couldn't understand though. Rosalie was so gorgeous every girl who looked at her took an instant hit to their self esteem. Alice too, but her sweet nature made up for that loss. I groaned quietly. "How come they're so much more happy than you are being... how you are?" I asked to change the subject--I didn't want to explain a girl's mentality to him.

"They're all the same," Edward started, frowning as he watched his siblings. "They don't have to be careful or worry about losing control. You're what we all pretend to be, but the differences are obvious when I stand next to you."

"Is that why Rosalie hates me?"

"Part of it," Edward replied. "When's your dad get off work today?"

"Five or six probably. Why?"

"No reason." But I knew he only answered that way because Rosalie and Emmett were walking over. Edward was more tense suddenly. I glanced up at him to prepare myself, but the pained look told me it wasn't Rosalie. I slipped out of his hold. "Sorry," I told him, and he smiled, erasing my fear that he was actually in pain.

"Don't be. The more I'm with you, the easier it becomes," he replied. "As long as I take a little while to hunt whenever I need to."

I nodded in understanding and turned my attention to Rosalie and Emmett. "Hey," I said, trying not to sound too shy. Emmett smiled at me. Rosalie managed not to glare at me, which was good enough for me. It helped me. Emmett found me more and more funny every time I tripped and Edward caught me as if it happened all the time--and it did. It was like Edward was constantly expecting me to trip. And I never let him down.

The parking lot started to empty. I watched the cars slowly leave. Mike and Ben were playing football in the middle of the lot. Anthony was talking to Nora, doing well and not panicking. Jess and Lauren were just leaving Gym, but their eyes were on Mike and Ben. I spotted Angela taking pictures for the yearbook. I stood in the corner of the lot in Edward's arms, trying to figure out why Rosalie apparently was being nice--for her anyway. But even that didn't make sense to me.

"Did you ever trip on the runway?" Emmett asked me, sounding so interested I wanted to smack him.

"Nope. Amazing, huh? But I'm in a zone when I'm on a runway, complete concentration, so it's not as easy to fall on my face," I told him with a smile, despite my annoyance.

Rosalie never spoke to me, but she listened to me talk to Emmett. She somehow avoided glaring at me until the last two student cars were Edward's Volvo and Emmett's Wrangler. Then she gave me the worst glare ever. I didn't even know what I'd done, but I ignored it as Edward helped me into his car to take me home.


	26. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

Friday was sunny, so Edward wasn't at school. But by seven PM, the sun had disappeared beneath a thick layer of clouds. I was washing my Acura because it was covered in dirt from the drive back to Forks from LA. Edward drove up in his shiny Volvo and that alone made me smile. I was wet from the hose and my iPod was turned up. Edward kissed the back of my neck, but it was done quickly because we both knew Dad had heard Edward's car door slam.

Edward leaned against the hood of my car. "I'm gonna take you to my place tomorrow," he announced as I turned off the hose. I jumped up on the hood. "I want to introduce you to my family."

I laughed. He was making it sound like I'd never met his family before, but we were starting over, weren't we? "What if they don't like me?" I replied.

"Let me get this straight. You're worried--not about being in a house full of vampires--but that they won't like you?" There was a hint of seriousness behind the amusement in his tone though. And there was reason for that--I was scared. They all saw what I did to Edward. Carlisle and Esme especially. I was scared they would resent me for it. But Edward hugged me to his chest. "They love you. Nothing's changed," he told me gently.

He joined me on the hood of my car and we laid back against the windshield to watch the sunset over us. I took Edward's hand. It was cold, but I knew it would be. I was prepared. I squeezed it and rested my head against his shoulder.

Time flew by when we were together. Maybe just because we enjoyed the time. Or maybe it was because he was frozen in time while I continued to age by the second. I heard the front door fly open. "Timberlee, it's ten," Charlie announced.

I closed my eyes as I sat up. Edward walked me to the front porch like we'd been on a date. "Chief Stone," he said respectfully. Edward kissed my hand and he left quickly. I glanced at Dad because he still hadn't moved. "What were you two talking about?" he asked, frowning.

"Nothing. We were just watching the stars," I answered as Edward disappeared around the corner and walked inside. Dad seemed amazed that we weren't even talking. But that was our relationship. No words needed to be said when I was with him. His presence and his touch were enough for me.

I knew parts of why Rosalie didn't like me too. _She was jealous of me. _She was the beautiful, flawless girl and I was the clumsy, accident prone girl. What was there to be jealous of? She had what I wanted--she was young forever. She was with Emmett forever. And now I knew why Edward always seemed like he would leave me soon. He never grew any older. I grew older everyday. Edward would live forever and I would wither away and die. _Edward _wasn't leaving _me. I _was leaving _him. _

I turned on my lullaby upstairs. I closed my eyes and I could see Edward playing it. He was playing it for me in my dream. It was amazing. My heart beat for Edward and the same heartbeat tortured him. He could hear my blood pulsing through my veins. I knew he could. He made my heart pound, which made his pain worse. If I could control the way my heart beat, I would have, but I knew he loved that sound, as much as it hurt him. I knew he loved how he could make my heart pound by just looking at me a certain way. He found it amusing. And maybe it was.

I couldn't fathom how much he loved me. I couldn't comprehend how much he thirsted for my blood. But he loved me even more than that. I knew he did because he never hurt me. He resisted the urge for my blood. I didn't know even close to how much he loved me until I knew his secret. And then everything fell into place. I understood why he struggled. I knew how much I wanted to be with him. I wanted to have what Carlisle and Esme had, what Rosalie and Emmett, Alice and Jasper had. They had the love of their lives forever. Neither of them could die. But I didn't have that. If Edward went onto live with me when I was eighty and on my death bed, I would die. I wouldn't be in peace though when I died. I would be miserable because I was leaving Edward alone to suffer what I suffered when my friends were killed. Only worse.

_You are the most important thing to me ever. _What I wouldn't do for him. What I wouldn't do, what I wouldn't give up so he could have me forever. I would do anything because I wanted him forever as well.

Saturday was smile, boring. I slept in. I cleaned the house and did laundry. The last load of laundry done, I made Charlie a steak and potatoes for dinner. I was doing the dishes when I saw Edward pull up to the house. Only he was in Emmett's Jeep. I smiled to myself, but quickly erased it when I turned to Dad. "Um... Is it okay if I go hang out with Edward tonight?" I asked. It was better not to call it a date. Thought technically, it was a date.

Charlie glanced out the window and saw Edward running up to the door. Human speed thankfully. I let him in, then returned to the kitchen to face Dad. "What do you two plan to do?" he asked firmly.

Edward was the only one who knew the plan. "She's going to play baseball with my family," he announced.

"My daughter is going to play baseball?" Dad inquired, shocked. The amazement in his voice made me angry. I could play baseball as long as my team didn't mind ducking when the bat went flying out of my hand or me tripping half way to first base.

Edward nodded. "She'll be back by ten and we'll take care of her, I promise," he said.

Dad paused, glanced at me, then shrugged. "Have fun." He wanted me to enjoy myself at least. Not necessarily with Alice, but the "we" probably included Alice, so Charlie was happy.

I smiled. Once I was outside with Edward where my father couldn't overhear, I glanced at him. "Vampires play baseball?" I inquired.

"It's the American pass time. And there's a thunder storm coming. Only time we can play." He grinned and turned up the radio so I didn't ask the question that was obviously on my tongue. An oldies song played loudly and I raised my eyebrows. I hadn't imagined Edward listening to anything other than classical willingly. "You'll see," Edward promised me, and sped off towards his house.

We turned onto his driveway. Half-way up it though, he turned off into the forest. I glanced at him in confusion, but I didn't say anything. We stopped in a large field. I could see Edward's family. He opened my door and put a baseball cap on my head with a grin. His eyes were gentle. I knew he could hear my heart pounding nervously. He touched my cheek gently. He knew why I was nervous. "Time to face the lions," I muttered as we started across the field.

Alice hugged me. Emmett high-fived me again, laughing like always. Rosalie rolled her eyes in disgust. Jasper was in pain. Esme smiled at me. "I'm so glad you're here. We need an umpire," she told me pleasantly.

"She thinks we cheat," Emmett announced, and by his voice alone, I could tell he did.

"I know you cheat," Esme replied, and squeezed my shoulders.

Carlisle never addressed me. Instead, as a huge crack of thunder hit, he said it was time to start the game. Alice was the pitcher and looked good enough to be put in the major leagues. Rosalie and Emmett, plus Edward were on a team. Jasper, Carlisle, and Esme were on the other. It wouldn't be fair if I was on a team--though I was sure Edward could make up for my clumsiness after catching me when I tripped. So I gladly took the position as umpire.

Edward and Emmett covered the field first while Rosalie caught the ball. Jasper was up first to bat. I smiled when he hit the ball. "Okay, now I see why you need the thunder," I told Esme. There was a crack that echoed into what sounded like thunder when the ball was hit. I was amazed the bat didn't break.

It was hard not to cheer for Edward, but I forced myself not to. He could read my smile like an open book and his smile told me that even vampires could enjoy the American pass time... as long as there was thunder. When it came time to switch positions so Edward's team could bat, I laughed when he appeared in front of me. Vampire speed. Yet another thing I was jealous of. But I'd already observed that Edward was, by far, the fastest of all the Cullens.

My job as umpire was simple and easy except for when I announced that Rosalie was out. She grew angry, which I'd expected. I sore she was about to attack me, but Edward seemed relax as he practiced swinging only several feet away from me. Emmett rolled his eyes that time. "Come on, babe. It's just a game," he said, and I was glad he was there. But still, Rosalie's glare was as good as a punch in the face. The hit to my self-esteem was the same. Even while glaring that furiously, she managed to look as beautiful as ever. Who wouldn't be jealous of that?

Eventually, the thunder stopped and we took a break from the game too. I somehow ended up alone on a corner of the field with Carlisle, but I didn't mind. I had questions I needed to be answered and Carlisle seemed like he would be most willing to answer them. "How do you become a vampire?" I asked, watching Edward talk to Esme across the field. I knew he could hear me, but I hoped he wasn't paying attention. Or if he was, I hoped he would think it was just natural human curiosity.

Carlisle's face told me he knew exactly why I'd asked, but he didn't say anything. Probably because he knew Edward would when he realized my reasoning. "Most of the time, it's an accident," he told me. "A vampire drinking is interrupted. All it takes is a bite. The venom does the rest if the vampire is able to stop."

"So you just have to bitten by one?"

"Partially. But the hardest part is to stop. When we taste human blood, it's extremely hard to stop."

I glanced at Edward. No wonder he was so afraid he'd hurt me. If he bit me, the chance that he'd kill me was just about as likely. "How did Edward become one?"

Carlisle glanced at me. Any human eye could see the beauty in his young face. But there was wisdom there too. Well beyond his years. "It was 1918 in Chicago. The Spanish influenza killed his parents. Right before his mother died, she looked me in the eyes and pleaded with me to save him. It was like she knew what I was somehow. She knew that I wouldn't kill him if I did bite. I don't know how she knew. Or maybe it was just my imagination. I was a doctor. She could have just been asking me to save him. But it felt like she knew. As long as the heart is still beating, you can become like us. Edward was fading, but he was still alive. I changed him."

"So it just takes one bite?"

Carlisle nodded. "But the venom takes days, sometimes longer, to spread until the change is complete. And then you're stuck exactly the way you are for eternity."

_Good! That's what I want, _I thought. "Do you struggle--working at a hospital?" I asked when Edward glanced over at me.

"It gets easier. Newborn vampires are uncontrollable. But after however many years--it's different for each one--it becomes easier. I am a vampire, yes, and I've accepted that. There are other ways to live other than killing people. And just because I'm a vampire doesn't mean I can't save lives."

I nodded thoughtfully. Carlisle knew exactly why I wanted to know. It seemed a little too obvious, but I had to know. I needed to know. But then the thunder came back and Rosalie insisted on continuing the came--her team was behind. So I put on my baseball cap and walked over to continue my job as umpire. Human speed felt so slow to me then because everyone else was there long before I was. Even Carlisle. It was like there was a crowd full of people walking fast and I was the only one who couldn't. It made me feel like a cripple.

Edward was the fastest and that was even more obvious. Not to mention he could read minds. I swore he was going to win. As umpire, I would have allowed myself to be biased if it wasn't for the fact that winning seemed important to Esme too, showing me that she was competitive. And I doubted that would even help me with Rosalie.

"Stop!" Alice exclaimed suddenly. She looked like she was in a nightmare, panicking. I could only stand still, too shocked to move, while everyone else ran towards me. Why?

Edward immediately started to pull me towards Emmett's Jeep. "It's too late," Carlisle said gently. But Edward's reaction terrified me. Fury, rage, animal-like even. He looked like a vampire to me for the first time. "They already know she's here."

"What's going on?" I asked.

Edward glared at Carlisle furiously. I didn't understand why he was angry with Carlisle. I could tell Dr. Cullen's words were the truth, even if I didn't understand them. But something had Edward _scared. _And I didn't know what. He started pulling me even faster towards Emmett's jeep. "You know the animal attacks in the area?" he asked me, sounding breathless. It wasn't like anything I'd hear from him before. I was too scared to answer. I just watched Edward's face. I didn't even know what I was scared of yet. "They're not animals," Edward continued. "They're like us."

"What? So they've been murdering people? What happened, Edward? Who was hurt?"

"No one! They're coming here. They were leaving until they heard us playing, and they decided to join us. Three of them. But one of them smelled you. I have to get you out of here now. We have to get a head start." He let me jump into the passenger's side without any help, then sped out of the field.

I looked over my shoulder. Three vampires. Carlisle looked alert, but not anxious. There was one watching me, and my stomach turned with fear. _He smiled at me. _Beautiful face, twisted into this malicious, taunting smile. "What's going to happen now?" I asked Edward, tears filling my eyes already. I didn't know what to think of any of this.

"Nothing. I'll protect you."

"Why didn't we just stay and fight? There's only three of them."

"You don't understand! The one who smelled you is a tracker! That's his passion. That's what he lives for. My reaction on the field when I started to leave set him off. He heard Carlisle! I've just made this the most exciting game there is," he explained, speeding up.

"So what? Now they're all coming after us?"

"Not now. Carlisle's keeping them busy until I can get you out of here. Only two will come. The blond and the girl. James and Victoria." Vampire ears. I was jealous of those too then because I knew he could still hear what the Cullens were saying to the nomadic vampires. Edward saw my terrified look and cupped the back of my neck. "You'll be fine. We'll go north, catch a ferry to Vancouver."

"Vancouver?"

"I have to get you out of here. Far away. Where they can't ever get to you."

"What about Charlie? He could get hurt because of us!"

"Just let me get you out of here first."

"No! He could get killed."

"That doesn't matter!"

"Yes it does! He's my father."

Edward sighed deeply because he knew I wasn't giving in. As afraid as I was, my life wouldn't have much of a meaning without my family. I couldn't bother being scared for myself right then. Edward closed his eyes for a second alone. "You'll go back, do whatever you have to do to make him let you leave. Pack one suit case of clothes, whatever you need. One and only one. Don't waste time with anything else. Leave. I'll be in the back of your Acura, okay? We have to go back to my house and talk to Carlisle, make a plan."

"Will they hurt him?"

Edward knew I was talking about Charlie. "Rosalie and Esme can protect him. He's not the target though. You are and I have to get you out of here."

We reached my house. I knew what I had to do, and I would do whatever it took. I didn't care about my life. But Mom, Charlie, Michael, and Edward... They could all be killed because of me. I closed my eyes for a second as we pulled into the driveway. How could I do what I knew I had to? What I needed to do. I took a deep breath to erase every sign of panic I could and I stepped out of the Jeep. I slammed the door as hard as I could so I knew Charlie heard. Edward followed me as I ran for the front door. _I love you, _I thought, praying he could hear me then. Just then. He needed to hear it. I knew he did.

"Just leave me alone, Edward!" I yelled, bursting through the front door and slammed it in his face. I turned and hit Charlie's chest. For the first time in ten years, I just wanted to sob into it. But that was the one time I couldn't. Not because he wouldn't let me. I wouldn't let myself. I had to get out of there and make sure he was safe. I pushed past Charlie, running upstairs to my room and locking the door. Edward was already throwing clothes into my suit case. I made a mental list of things I needed.

"Timberlee, what happened?" Dad called from the other side of the door.

I burst through my bedroom door and ran into the bathroom. Tampons, toothbrush, tooth paste, hairbrush. That was all I needed just then. There wasn't time to pack unnecessary things. Not a picture of Edward or my family. Not a CD Edward made me. No time.

"Did he break up with you?" Charlie asked.

"No. It's not Edward. I just have to get out of here." I couldn't lie, so I would tell what part of the truth I could. Locked inside my room again, I snatched up my phone and took the suit case from Edward. His eyes made me freeze for a moment. I wanted to sob then too, but I forced the tears back. This was the one time I needed to be brave and horrible to someone I loved. It was necessary. I ran downstairs as fast as I could, but Dad's hand stopped me from opening the front door to leave. "I have to go," I told him, crying out of desperation. We were running out of time.

"I just got you back, honey," Charlie whispered.

I had to do it! I had to. "If I don't leave now, I'll just get stuck here like Mom," I replied, leaning against the door. I wasn't strong enough to stand on my own two feet. I needed someone to hold me up. But it couldn't be Charlie, even though I knew he would if I asked him to. This was for him. I had to do it. I looked at Dad, forcing myself to remain calm. It was liked I'd slapped him in the face. I hated myself for what I was doing. All those years of anger towards him were gone. They were worthless. He was my father. Period. But I had to hurt him this time. The one time I didn't want to hurt him, it was the one time I had to. "Just let me go," I whispered.

Charlie paused. And then he moved his hand from the door. I ran through it, not looking at him or even shutting the door behind me. My Acura was filled with a few other things Edward brought down. I pulled out into the road, sobbing freely and unable to think. I couldn't stop then. And I didn't need to because Charlie wasn't there to see. Edward sat up when I wasn't in clear view of the house anymore. He held the wheel steady for me--I was shaking. "Why don't you let me drive?" he suggested gently. I slid into the passenger's seat and Edward climbed into the driver's easily.

"He'll forgive you," Edward told me.

I shook my head doubtfully. "No, he won't. I said the same thing Mom did when she left him," I replied, leaning my head against the window. "He'll never forgive me."

I was glad when Edward didn't contradict me. I wanted silence. But I couldn't have complete silence. Once I finished my debate and decided Charlie was better off hurt than dead, I wiped my nose. "So what's the plan?" I asked. "Where are we going?"

"My house first. We'll figure something out there. Jasper's fought our kind before. He'll come up with something. We'll work this out. I promise. Just trust me this one more time, Timberlee. One more time. I won't let anything happen to you."

I trusted him already. He made it sound like he'd lost my trust. But everything he'd done was done to protect me, even if it made things worse. But everything would be fine. Somehow. Somehow. I knew it had to be. Things were just getting better for us. They couldn't end yet.

When we reached the house, Edward ran with an arm around me inside and to the garage. "Esme can protect Charlie alone," Carlisle said, and that worried me. It shouldn't have. But I couldn't trust Esme with my father's life. Not then. Not until I knew the rest of the plan and what James was thinking. "He's not the target. Alice has already seen that they don't want to bother Charlie. Rosalie, Emmett, and Rosalie will lead James away from here, away from you." He turned to Edward for him to finish telling me then plan.

Edward handed Rosalie and Esme one of my many coats. Rosalie sat on the counter, glaring at me. "Why should I help?" she asked Edward, who didn't look angry. Desperate and even worried. Even when he could have fought with her, he was just too worried about me. "She doesn't mean anything to me," Rosalie spat out, shoving the coat into _my _hands. I caught it clumsily.

But Carlisle took it then, sending Edward a look to restrain him. "Rosalie, Timberlee is with Edward now. That makes her part of our family. And we protect our family," Carlisle said firmly, and offered Rosalie my coat again. _Offered. _Not demanded she took it. That told me something about Carlisle's character, but I didn't have time to decide what it was.

Edward and Rosalie had a glare battle. Finally, Rosalie took the coat from Carlisle. Edward glanced at Alice. "They'll suspect she's with me. I can't take her with me," he said, sounding in pain, and I knew it wasn't my blood that time. He didn't want to be apart anymore than I did.

"Jasper and I will take care of her," Alice volunteered, and I knew that was what Edward would have chosen if I couldn't be with him.

"Can you keep your thoughts to yourself?" Edward asked, his arm still tightly around me.

"Yes," Alice said, not annoyed. Just frustrated.

Edward put me in the back of Carlisle's Mercedes and shut the door. He reached through the window when I rolled it down. He took my face in his, and it felt like this was the last time I would see him. His face was apologetic. He was as scared as I was, just for other reasons. He couldn't ever understand how I felt and I couldn't understand how he felt. We were on two different sides, even though we were fighting for the same thing. He was a vampire and immortal. I was human and mortal. I wasn't prepared for any of it. My breath was uneven and I couldn't even direct it away from Edward's face to save him the pain. I couldn't look away. I knew it hurt him that I was looking to him for advice and for the strength I needed, and he needed to leave me. It was the best thing in that situation. Edward stroked my face with his thumb, wiping away the tears. "I will do whatever it takes to make you safe again," he promised. "You are my life now." He kissed me then, the most passionate ever. I was sure it would have hurt if I was open to the pain. But I was still numb to everything. Then he straightened and Jasper put the car in drive. He sped out.

I couldn't look back at Edward the way he'd looked at me or kiss him back. There wasn't time and we were already on our way. And it was all I could do--run. Run for my life, run to protect Charlie, and even run to protect Edward. Our separation was best. James was coming after me. Not Edward. If Edward wasn't with me, there was less of a chance he would be hurt. I looked back at him, looking for the last piece of strength I needed. "I'll come for you," Edward mouthed, and I couldn't hear the words. But I knew he would come for me.


	27. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

The ride was worse than I thought it would be. I sat alone in the back seat. Alice and Jasper took turns driving, switching whenever we stopped for gas. They didn't know how much harder they were making it for me. My emotions never changed. It was always panic and worry while they held hands, and I could only wish Edward was there to hold mine. I could only pray he wouldn't be hurt or anyone else. But especially not Edward.

We reached LA late the next night. It was dark, so the sun wasn't a problem. I stepped out of the car when we stopped in front of the most expensive hotel there was. I had heard Alice make the reservations, and I wasn't quite sure why she picked this specific one. We wanted high security, but what could alarms and security guards do to stop three vampires? Or even two? And there was more than one way to get to me, even in a hotel with two other vampires with me.

I carried my bags up while Alice and Jasper only had their phones and coats. I couldn't feel safe, even in LA. I knew the nature of who would come after me. I had never imagined a vampire would come after me though. My view on vampires were all like the Cullens now that I knew they were real. Edward told me how good my blood smelled so many times, and I wondered, if my blood didn't smell so good, if it would be the same, if James would still come after me. But now I had at least one vampire who wanted to drink my blood--all of it. And they couldn't resist the urge like Edward forced himself to.

I knew what a vampire could do. Edward showed me what they were capable of when he saved my life. He could push away cars. He was stronger than steel, faster than lightning. I knew so little about vampires though. I didn't know if they all had powers or if they were all as strong as Edward. The answers Carlisle gave me only told me one thing--there wasn't time for me to become a vampire before they came for me. And they would. I knew they would. I wanted to be sixteen forever, to be with Edward forever, but I didn't know if I would live to see him again. I didn't know how many more breaths I had.

Alice rented the suite--two bedrooms. I showered in the hope that it would help me feel a little better. I came out dressed in clean jeans. I found a letter from Edward in the bag he packed and a picture of us. It was my number one. When he caught me after I jumped off the swing. I stared at the picture for a few minutes, trying not to cry, then I unfolded the note. "_Trust me again, and I'll protect you_," I read silently. That was all it said. I had never lost my trust in Edward. I knew he would do everything in his power, but what if there was more for him to do? What if more needed to be done for us to see each other again? I remembered what Carlisle told Rosalie.

_Timberlee is with Edward now. That makes her part of our family. _We were all family according to Carlisle, but one couldn't always protect their family. Charlie might not remain safe. Mom and Michael could get hurt. And I couldn't do anything to protect them. I was only human. They were only people, even if they weren't human technically. Alice, Jasper, and the others were all vampires and their chances of surviving were greater than mine.

I knew what I read. "Undead." They said vampires couldn't _die. _But that didn't mean they _couldn't be killed. _Fear was struck into my heart that they would be hurt or killed, and no one could erase that fear. Nothing could help me--except seeing that Edward was okay. After everything was over, I didn't care what happened to me as long as the Cullens and my family weren't hurt.

No one ever said anything when I emerged from the bathroom. Alice and Jasper were on the couch. I started pacing. All we could do was wait. Wait for Edward to call to tell us their plans. Wait for Alice to see her next vision. Wait for an attack. Wait. Just wait.

Edward must have told Alice, reminded her over and over when they spoke on the phone that I was human--that I needed to eat. She ordered me room service--a huge salad and chicken. She made me eat, but I wasn't sure if I could keep it down. My stomach was full of anxiety. I could tell Alice had been a vampire a while because she ordered way more than I could ever eat. Or maybe she just wanted people to believe that all three of us were eating, not just me. I ate as much as I could, some from each plate, until I couldn't eat anymore.

I was pacing in front of the couch where Jasper and Alice sat. "Edward is an experienced fighter," Jasper told me, and I came close to laughing. _Edward has fought vampires before? Great!_ I thought furiously. "He'll be fine," Jasper finished.

I turned to him. I appreciated his words, but they didn't help. "So there will be a fight?" I inquired.

"We'll try to avoid it, Timberlee," Alice said gently, at my side suddenly. "But James is blood thirsty, more so than most of us because he found some sort of sick game in it. He's the only one that wants trouble and he only wants to because he's a tracker. He wants to anger Edward. Don't worry about it though. We'll protect you."

"I'm not worried about myself."

"We're protecting your family too. They won't be hurt."

"I know! But what if Edward is hurt or Carlisle? Or even Jasper? I could never forgive myself if that happened."

Alice glanced at Jasper. "Nothing will happen." But none of us knew that. Not even Alice, who could see the future. I didn't know if there was any other catches to her gift, but I knew of one big one--the future could always change. And it changed faster than anyone, or _anything, _could react.

I wondered if I would know when--if--Edward was killed. Would I feel it? Would my heart stop beating when he left this world? Could I live with just his memory--not his presence? No. I couldn't. And I wouldn't.

I returned to my pacing. Dad would be furious if any of us survived this. He would assume I was going back to LA, and I did, but when there was no call from Mom asking what happened and no call from me to tell him I was safe, he would freak out. Especially if he still believed I left because of Edward. I didn't know what would happen to me--or Edward. Or any of us for that matter.

Alice's phone rang and I ran over. "He figured it out," Edward's voice said. "We're on our way to pick up Timberlee, and we'll run somewhere they can't find us."

"Is he coming for me?" I asked, horrified. I knew the answer was obvious though. "Does he know where I am?"

"He turned south. He's headed that way, but that doesn't mean anything," Edward answered quietly after a short pause. "We're on our way. Stay with Alice and Jasper. They will protect you. I'll be there soon, I swear."

"What should we do, Edward?" Alice asked, rubbing my back while I covered my mouth to stop the sob.

"Check out and go to another hotel. Use another name and don't use a credit card. Make sure no one recognizes her. We don't need civilized people getting involved, and we especially don't need paparazzi everywhere."

_Perfect time to be famous, _I thought coldly. Jasper had my bags in hand already. "We'll take care of her Edward," he promised.

"I love you," I whispered through my tears.

Alice hung up before Edward could reply. I wiped my tears away. We started down the lobby. I stood fifteen feet away, watching how Alice gently put a hand on Jasper's back when it was obvious he was struggling.

My phone rang. Home. "Mom?" I answered.

"Where are you?" It was Mom! She was scared, terrified. "Timberlee, answer me!"

"I'm fine, Mom. Calm down. I--"

"It's amusing how easy it is to get someone to trust us," a man's voice said. "You want to see your mother again? Lose your friends and meet me at the ballet studio you used to take lessons at. You want to see your brother again? Make sure no one follows. See you in a few minutes."

I was shaking already. I closed my eyes for a moment. How could I make not do this? My life didn't matter to me anymore. My mom, my brother... Their lives did matter. "Alice," I called when I felt like I wouldn't burst into tears immediately. "I'm losing it. I'm gonna go to the bathroom really fast." There was two bathrooms in the lobby. I knew from a fashion show I did there once. One, the closer one, was too busy. I walked briskly back to the second. I remembered it had two exits. I walked through it to another hallway. I ran to catch a cab before they pulled out. I told her the address as calmly as I could.

I had never given much thought to how I would die. I'd never give death much thought. Some said it was another part of life, but that depends on how one dies. It depends on what kind of life is lived before it's time to leave this world. To me, dying in the place of someone I love sounded like a good way to go. So I couldn't bring myself to regret the decision. Death couldn't be the last part of life. I knew it wasn't. Death was all around from the day I was conceived. I knew how many people my parents killed. I knew how many friends death stole from me, how many loved ones. Death was all around the world, no matter where you went. There was no way to get away. But I never gave it much thought, even though I had once been dead.

I remembered how my heart stopped beating. I was declared dead. But something forced my heart to beat again after four minutes, twelve seconds. No one knew what caused either incident--my heart stopping or it starting again on its own. I knew though. Edward somehow made it beat again from far away, before we'd even met. Now I would face death again. I would do it to save someone I loved. I knew what this James was--a vampire. I knew what he was capable of. I knew what he would do to me. But to save my loving, crazy mother and my baby brother, I would do it.

Four minutes, twelve seconds. I had tasted the after life already. I didn't know if it was a heaven or a hell though. It just was to me. Death is peaceful. Life is harder. All the decisions made, all the battles that had to be fought. I knew what I was leaving behind this time, and I wasn't sure this death would be so peaceful. I was leaving behind Edward without the chance to even try to express how I needed him.

The cab stopped in front of the old ballet studio. It was up for lease, but the doors were unlocked. The mirrors were the same as always. It had been so many years since I'd been there, but I was there now. And I had to do it. I would. I wanted to, as scared as I was. "Mom?" I called.

"Funny how easily a human comes running," James' voice said. "So easily fooled, never giving a thought to the other possibilities. She's dead already."

"No, I came! You said you wouldn't hurt them."

"Yes, but I'm not a patient person. You took too long. I grew thirsty. But don't worry. The pain will be gone soon," he said, appearing in all the mirrors. I didn't know which one was real until he stood directly in front of me and I could smell his breath. He pulled out a camera and switched it on. "I took this from your house. I hope you don't mind. I wanted to make one last memory for Edward. So he will always remember that he wasn't here for you in the last moments of your life. The most terrifying moments of your life. How he broke his promise to you."

I shook my head, looking away from the camera. I had to live now. For Edward. He would see this if I didn't. I couldn't die.

"Don't you want to say hello?" James pressed. "Any last words?" I knew my silence was angering him, but I couldn't do anything else. My mother and my brother were gone. It was my fault and now Edward would be forced to watch me die. I couldn't speak. I couldn't do anything. I turned. I walked towards the door. I couldn't just stay there. But I couldn't run either. And if I would have, James was there to block the door before I'd taken two steps anyway. "You're not going anywhere," he told me with the same, mocking grin. "You smell better than any human I've ever met before. Your friend--what's her name?--she smelled almost as good as you do. Pity my drinking was interrupted. She's here in LA, isn't she? She failed to protect you. I wonder what dear Edward will do to her when he finds out she let you get away."

Alice! He was talking about Alice. I shook my head again. "Edward, no! Don't. You can't. It wasn't her fault!" I said, too weak to make it sound forceful.

James laughed. "He won't care what you said. Once you're dead, he'll start killing like me. Think of the poor, innocent girl he'll kill."

I couldn't stop the tears then. If he was going to kill me, I wanted him to just kill me. "Stop! He doesn't need to see this! You've already killed my family. Stop," I pleaded. I was minutes, maybe hours away from death at most, and I was begging my killer for a favor. But it was all I could do. I couldn't let James kill me when Edward would see it. He was on his way. He would see it if I died, and there was nothing I could do about it besides just live.

"But you were never the game," James replied. "He was. His reaction. You'll be dead when he gets here. No one can save you." James grabbed my wrist, and I couldn't pull away as hard as I tried. I couldn't move. James threw me onto the floor, to add another blow to Edward. I couldn't breathe then. His strength was much more than I'd expected. My wrist was almost to his mouth. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. I couldn't fight. And I couldn't live through this.

James bit into my flesh. I choked back a scream, but I couldn't stop the tears. Edward would see this, and I couldn't stop the tears at the thought of what it would do to him. But I could try to save him from listening to me screaming out for him. James' grip on me was firm, even though I was too weak to resist anyway. Something hit James, and it flung me across the room. I hit a mirror and shattered it. Glass flew everywhere. I felt the pain in the back of my head, but my arm was burning most of all. It was spreading to my shoulder too.

My vision was blurred from the pain, but I saw more arriving, more of whatever had hit James. People. Through the fuzz caused by the venom and the mist caused by my tears, I saw it was Edward who'd attacked James. The Cullens were there! And Edward saw me. His eyes were on me. I tried to shrink back so my blood wouldn't tempt him so much, but there was no strength and nowhere for me to go. Edward turned then and attacked James a second time. They were motionless in the struggle. Alice ran to my side, held my hand. I could hear Carlisle's voice, but I couldn't make out the words. It was so gentle though.

Edward appeared at my side with Carlisle then. Carlisle gave Alice a push towards James, Emmett, and Jasper. He looked at Edward. "There's still time if you decide now, Edward," Carlisle said. "You can suck the venom out."

"I'll kill her. I won't be able to stop."

"You'll find the will."

Edward clenched his jaw and reached for my arm. I couldn't see his eyes through my tears, but I could tell he was scared. He kissed my wrist, even though it was covered with blood, and I didn't know why. I wasn't sure if I was delusional from the venom burning through my veins, but I saw the fire in the distance somewhere. Flickering like the moonlight over a thick forest. It seemed like people were dancing around it. Edward's face flashed there. All the memories with him. His glare, his smile, his laugh, then show in the meadow when I found out he was a vampire. We were laying together, frozen in time with the snow freezing around us. Edward was real though. He smiled at me, trying to comfort me. "I'll make it go away," he promised, kissed my wrist one last time, and he bit into my wrist.


	28. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty-Seven

I heard the heart monitor beeping softly, distantly, when I opened my eyes. I wasn't sure what was going on. It was all fuzzy and I didn't clearly remember what had happened even. "Edward," I whispered, seeing him on the chair next to me. But he didn't move. He was apparently asleep. But he was a vampire... He couldn't sleep.

"Honey?"

I looked to my left. "Mom?"

"You're awake!"

I nodded, eyes closed. I thought I was dreaming. I had to be. Vampires couldn't sleep and my mother was dead. But my memory ended after Edward's teeth touched my arm. I swore I was dead. I had to be. That was the only way I could see my mom. But could vampires be in the same afterlife with humans? I didn't know. Edward was there though. Sound asleep. Like he was human...

"What happened?" I asked quietly, trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

"Oh, baby. Edward and his father came to talk you into coming back. You went to their hotel room, had a fight with Edward. You fell down three flights of stairs because you refused to take the elevator." That made sense. I was claustrophobic and falling down stairs happened on a daily basis, so it was a good story. But I still didn't understand. "You rolled through a window," Mom continued more emotional. "You cut the artery in your arm and another in your leg, broke a few ribs, your leg, cut your head open. You got a concussion too, but you're alive. Carlisle refused to let any other doctor see you, and Edward never left your side."

"Is Dad here?" I asked, still not believing any of it.

"I'll go get him and a nurse." Mom--or the delusion of her--hurried out.

Edward was on the bed next to me immediately after Mom was gone. He wiped my tears away as the steady flow started. I was panicking. I was scared, more scared than I was while I was with James because I had time to think about it all. "What time is it?" I asked softly.

"It's twilight," Edward murmured, looking at the western horizon through the window, obscured as it was with clouds. His voice was thoughtful as if his mind were somewhere far away. I stared at him as he gazed unseeingly through the window. I was still staring when his eyes suddenly shifted back to mine. "It's the safest time of day for us, the easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way, the end of a day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?" He smiled, and he shrugged. "Vampire talk while you're confused about bigger things," he muttered in annoyance.

"I love the night. Without the dark, you'd never seen the moon or the stars," I said quietly because I knew he felt bad. It was a short conversation, but it helped. "What happened?" I asked. "For real."

"It's all right. James lied," he whispered, and my face changed into this confused look. He smiled gently. "He never had your family. They're alive and well. He found a video of a Fourth of July party. Your mom didn't know she was taping when she realized you were missing," he explained, and it fell into place. I remembered that video. Why hadn't I seen it before? Her words and voice were exactly the same. I realized that now.

I frowned. "No one else was hurt?"

"No. Not even a scratch."

"Did you or Alice see the... video he made?"

Edward paused. I knew he didn't want to answer my question. But he was always honest. He waited for a moment, like he was building up the strength to hurt me or something. I knew already that he'd seen it. It was obvious. That was the only reason he paused. He looked away when he realized I knew. "Don't worry about it," he told me. "You're alive and that's all that matters."

"I'm alive because of you."

"No, you're here because of me."

I watched his face. "You can't leave me," I whispered. I didn't even know if he was planning to, but I needed to make sure. I had to. I couldn't go on without him. Not after all this time, as little as it was.

Edward didn't reply. He returned to his fake sleep on the chair just before Dad walked in. Mom followed. She probably wanted to make sure I didn't get too upset, which told me she knew what I'd said. It was the only reason she would have came. Dad sat on the bed next to me. He smiled shyly, like he was trying to tell me he forgave me. But it didn't mean anything unless I'd apologized, and I hadn't. I closed my eyes. "I'm really, really, really sorry. I was horrible and..." I avoided his eyes. There was no words to describe what I'd done to him. It was the lowest of all lowly things I could have done.

"It's fine, honey. I understand. You were upset. Edward told me what Rosalie said. You had every right to be upset. I'm just glad you're all right now. And Rosalie told me to say she's sorry."

"Rosalie?" I repeated. I was amazed. Rosalie would never apologize to me. Never in a thousand years. Not once. I guessed that Edward came up with some story to explain how upset I was and why. I shook my head at Dad, trying to clear my head and figure out why Rosalie would have stepped up. She hated me! That was obvious to anyone who saw us together. But I looked back to Charlie then. "I still shouldn't have taken it out on you," I said.

"It's all right. Edward never leaves. He's crazy. He's sat awake for a long time while you were unconscious. I thought he'd have a mental breakdown."

"How long was I out?" I asked to stop my smile. Edward sleeping. Ha!

"Six days," mom answered quietly. She was crying again. "Should I wake him up, honey? He's dying to talk to you."

I smiled because I knew Edward wasn't ever asleep. He was just pretending while he listened to my breathing. I nodded though. "Yeah, I'd like to talk to him," I answered, watching his face. Mom only touched his shoulder and he opened his eyes. He jumped up when he saw I was awake. He was a good actor, but the motion was too quick. He obviously knew that, but he didn't care. "How was your nap?" I inquired softly.

Edward grinned. "Ah... Interesting. I missed those eyes." He kissed my lips and Charlie managed not to react, even though it was obviously painful for him not to rip Edward off me and shatter a few more of my ribs in the process. "You look beautiful."

I laughed in disbelief. "I look horrible."

"No. Beautiful as ever."

"Then I must look horrible all the time," I muttered, rolling my eyes. "Where's Alice?" He knew why I wanted to see her. It was obvious to anyone who had seen the video. Alice had no memory of how she became a vampire or her human life before. Because of me, she knew now. She was the one that escaped James. She survived what I just lived through somehow. I wanted to apologize for whatever I'd done. I wasn't sure why I felt so bad. But I did. "Is she here too?" I asked when Edward didn't reply.

"No. She stayed home." Or she went home since she was originally here with me. "She called though. She's been just as worried as any of us. Don't worry about anything or any of us. Just concentrate on getting well."

"Carlisle said you could move back home right away," Mom told me. I saw Edward's face fall, but he also seemed to know it had to be that way. Mom thought I was going to stay in LA. Edward thought it was best. He didn't want me to stay though. And I didn't want to either. "We can go pack up your room as soon as they let you--"

I shook my head furiously to stop Mom. "No," I said firmly, squeezing Edward's hand. "I want to live in Forks still." I glanced at Edward's face. He looked worried. I knew it was because he didn't want me to have any more run in's with vampires. But he smiled a little. He was pleased too. "I don't want to leave. I want to live with Dad still. If it's okay with him..."

"But you hate Forks," Mom whispered, and I knew it hurt her.

"No, not anymore. It grew on me. And the people there did too. I want to live in Forks still. Always."

Mom sighed. "Okay, we'll talk about it," she told me.

"So, Ma Vie, what do you want to eat?" Edward asked, clearly trying to change the subject. He didn't want me to get too upset. But the sudden change was a little too obvious.

"What does that mean?" I inquired quietly.

Edward glanced at my parents, then shrugged. My favorite crooked grin appeared. There was this mischievous look in his eyes, but I was the only one close enough to see it. "It means I'm concerned for your health and want you to eat," he explained, and I glared at him. He glanced at my heart monitor. Its beeping was getting slightly annoying now. And I'd just woken up. "Ma Vie means my life," he told me.

The heart monitor's consistent beep missed one, then showed how it started pounding. I laughed with Edward, but it was for different reasons. I was embarrassed. He was amused. He cupped my chin then to force me to meet his eyes. "You are my life," he whispered, resting his forehead on mine. His lips touched mine, then he sat up--much too soon for me. "Where else would I go?" he said even more quietly, so I was the only one who could hear. It was in answer to my statement earlier. Before Dad came in. He was promising never to leave me. He wasn't going to. He was going to be there for me. Always. Forever. He smiled then. "So what do you want to eat?" he repeated.

"Peanut butter and jelly," I answered quickly with a smile, remembering how that was what I ate when we were on top of that mountain. The end of the second week I was in Forks. And that was the day we started dating. Edward caught it and grinned back. "No hospital food," I added.

"Okay. I'll sneak you in some. Sleep until then."

Edward tried to stand, but I stopped him. "Mom, Dad, can you give us some time alone?" Mom nodded quickly and pushed Charlie towards the door. He didn't really fight, but he sent Edward a glare before he turned reluctantly and left. I looked back to Edward. "Why did you... If you let the venom spread, I would be like you already," I whispered. "You wouldn't ever lose me then."

"I won't lose you now." Edward smiled... nervously? "The worst part was that I didn't think I would be able to stop. I thought I would kill you and your last memory would be of me promising to save you. I thought I would kill you in the attempt to save you."

"But you didn't," I replied quickly. "You saved me. I'm alive and I'll get better." Edward only nodded. "So was it as good as you thought?" I asked out of curiosity.

Edward nodded again. "Better. But sleep now. You need it."

I shook my head defiantly. "Not unless you stay with me. Every second," I told him. He helped me move over a few inches. It was hard due to my broken ribs. I rested my head on his shoulder as he started humming my lullaby. I smiled because he knew how it put me to sleep immediately, and it was no different that time. Sometime during my nap, Mom and Dad returned with Michael this time. I woke up when Mom pushed some hair from my face. Her touch felt so warm after laying in Edward's arms for so long. I opened my eyes. I was on my back, head rested on Edward's shoulder still, hand folded into his. Dad was glaring at Edward, but he was pretending not to notice. And it didn't matter anyway. I smiled and released a groan. "You stopped humming," I accused him.

"I thought you would want to eat," Edward explained.

"Mmhmm! I'm starving!" I exclaimed. Edward grinned and handed me a tray of food. He helped me closely the whole time. Terrors were a part of everyone's life. Vampires were a part of my life, but they weren't horrors to me. They were my family as much as Mom was or Michael or Dad. I knew Edward would always be there for me.

I stayed in the hospital for another few days, but I sensed that Edward requested Carlisle to lie about how well I was healing. Edward never left my side though. Dad left a day early. Then Mom put me on a plane to Port Angeles with Edward. I slept all the way there. Edward kept his arm around me, as he always did, as he walked me to where Charlie was waiting in his cruiser. I got in next to him, saying my goodbye to Edward. I waved at Alice, who was nearby Carlisle's Mercedes. I wanted to run over and join them. But now wasn't the time.

The ride home was silent and I didn't expect anything different. I stared down at the new scar on my wrist. It was noticeably colder to the touch than the rest of my arm. My whole arm felt colder than I remembered, and it was nice. That was the hand Edward always held, but his touch wasn't so cold now. There was some warmth there, even though I knew all too well how cold his touch really was.

It was like the day I moved to Forks all over again. Charlie was awkward and quiet. But he was "Dad". Not Charlie. I didn't hate him. Not this time. He carried my two suit cases upstairs--I'd brought more clothes from Mom's house. I sat down on my bed, looking at the bulletin board covered in pictures. Edward, memories of him, covered my walls. _I was home. This was my home. I belonged here. _

I showered and changed into some sweats. Struggling with the unfamiliarity of my cast, I hobbled down the stairs. I reached the fifth to last stair and Edward appeared. He was smiling at me. Easily, he lifted me down the last five stairs. He set me down in front of him with another smile. "We're gonna go watch a movie," he told me and helped me into the living room where Charlie sat on the couch. Edward was a little too helpful, but it was somehow romantic and... cute. He seemed so new to the whole thing, yet he was so good at it! He could make my heart pound with a single smile or a small touch that wasn't even meant to be like that.

Edward sat in the recliner and I slid over the arm so I had my legs propped over one arm, my back against the other. My arms draped around his neck. I rested my head on his shoulders. The previews had already started and I had no idea what movie we were watching. Charlie usually didn't watch movies. He was more into sports news or whatever sport was on. Edward hugged my waist, careful not to hurt my still tender ribs. He was even more gentle than before--too gentle--but it was nice. He made me feel like one of Mom's antique dolls or something.

"You kids want to watch this alone?" Charlie asked, standing up. He seemed less resentful of Edward, but he was still suspicious and he treated like Edward like a criminal. He blamed Edward for my "accident" on the hotel stairs. But that wasn't the greatest offense Edward had committed. He was a criminal in Dad's eyes because he was kidnapping me, stealing me away from Charlie. I wasn't the little girl anymore. I was Edward's girlfriend, and that was new to any father.

"You can stay, Dad," I said.

"Nah, I think I'll run to the store. You want any popcorn, candy, soda, anything at all?" Charlie replied.

"Popcorn sounds good." I knew Dad would end up buying more than popcorn though. He was trying to get away from the romantic scene, the gentle way Edward held me, yet the passionate way he looked at me. He treated me like I would break if he touched me. I waited until the cruiser passed the window before I turned to look at Edward. "So, uh, can a vampire eat?" I asked out of my usual human curiosity. I was new to the whole vampire deal and there was no doubt in my mind whatsoever now. So I needed answers. Edward had many of them and he would answer my questions. Many of them. I knew that. So I would ask everything that came to mind.

Edward smiled, surprised at my timing. "Yes. We can eat food, but it's not appealing to us and we can't digest it. If we eat, we have to throw it up later."

"Ew!" I exclaimed. Edward smiled again. Softly, he kissed my exposed collarbone. I glanced down at him. To him, that was sexual and he usually didn't go that afar. That was one of the reasons I was so comfortable with him. He was so respectful towards me. But it felt good! He kissed the base of my neck then, and that was it. He must have considered it sexual, and I didn't mind because I knew he would never push me farther than I was comfortable with. If anything, I would push him. He would always respect me. That was one of the very best parts, and one of the greatest hints that this was the man I would live with forever. Or at least for the rest of my life, however short that might be. But there was a way for me to live forever. There was a way and I had the will. I would live forever someday.


	29. Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Alice spent hours on my makeup and hair, and I still didn't know what the occasion was. She refused to tell me. All she told me was that she wanted me to enjoy every single moment of my life. She went on to tell me that she had been a vampire for years and couldn't remember her human life, so it was my _duty _to let her make my life memorable--every detail of it. She made it sound like she would cry if I didn't let her dress me up.

So I gave in on the matter. I sat on a stool we found in the attic. In the bathroom, she did my hair and makeup. Like before the party, she wouldn't let me see how I looked until she was done. In the third hour of my makeover, I started to become impatient. Alice wouldn't even let me see the colors she was using. Not my dress, which she repeatedly said was gorgeous, not my shoes or sweater or jewelry. It was frustrating, but Alice was enjoying herself, humming as she continued to curl my hair. So I tried to keep all my frustration bottled up other than tapping my foot impatiently.

Alice slipped a beautiful, rich blue dress over my head once she finally finished my hair. I was sure Dad would hate that it was a halter dress and showed half my back without the sweater. She handed me my sweater, played with my curls once more, and spun me around to look at myself. I cringed at how quickly I lost my balance. It was even worse with my stupid cast on.

The dress brought out my eyes. I'd never found a blue that complimented my eyes that way. I wore a new pair of Converse. Only my cast was on one leg. Alice smiled at me, like I imagined Mom would. Then she opened the door. I started downstairs where Dad was waiting with Edward.

They heard me clumping down the stairs. Charlie followed Edward to the bottom of the steps. Edward was dressed in a black suit, his tie loose around his neck. Dad leaned against the banister, obviously uncomfortable with the situation already. I smiled shyly at Edward when I reached the last step. My attention was on my cast. It looked horrible. "Uh..." I muttered. "Alice got me the dress," I told Dad, hoping it would help. He only nodded. Still awkward silence. "The cast is... the worst thing ever."

"You're perfect," Edward told me. He was trying to comfort me, but Charlie turned to glare at him. It made me want to laugh. Dad opened the door for us and I was sure he didn't want me to leave. "Can you give us a minute?" I asked Edward, and he left. I smiled at Dad, who smelled strongly of the cheap beer he always bought. I didn't know what to say and I didn't even know where I was going. Part of me hoped Edward would change me into a vampire that day. But I hadn't really asked him. More just hinted at it whenever we were alone. Charlie looked terrified, which told me he knew where Edward was taking me. So I was pretty sure he wasn't changing me, but I still hoped. "See ya," I said, and hurried out after Edward.

Edward opened my door for me. He was driving his Aston Martin V12 Vanquish. I smiled, but it made me nervous. The last time he drove that car, I broke up with him the next day. I didn't know if the party had anything to do with that though.

We started down the road in silence. "Are you going to tell me where we're going?" I asked him.

"You've got three guesses," he told me with a grin.

I glared at him. Three guesses to find out where he was taking me. But by the time I came up with three reasonable guesses, we would be at our destination already at the speed Edward was going. But Alice seemed to think it was extremely important. She wanted me to enjoy the night and I promised I would, but it would be a hard promise to keep unless I figured out where we were going. And the way Edward didn't tell me, it made me think he, too, thought I would be angry about wherever we were going. I frowned suddenly, realizing the date and the time. "Prom," I whispered, remembering how long Alice and I spent helping our friends pick out their dresses. "You're taking me to prom," I concluded, not bothering to hide my annoyance.

Edward nodded and handed me a rose bracelet that had been hidden under his seat. I smiled, but prom wasn't exactly where I wanted to be. I usually didn't mind crowds and parties. But there was so many other places I would rather be with Edward. Exploring, hiking, talking as the sun set in the distance. But prom was still something I had always looked forward to. And now I was on my way to prom with Edward Cullen. Dressed in a beautiful dress with the most handsome boy ever and we pulled up in an Aston Martin. Naturally, everyone was staring.

Edward smiled at me gently--I must have looked terrified as I stepped out of the car, my hand in Edward's. He squeezed my waist, still gentle due to the recently broken ribs. "Don't worry. I won't let go of you," he promised, and he meant it. I knew he wouldn't let go of me. That helped my confidence slightly, but I was sure I would be the only person alive who could manage to fall over with him right next to me. Edward wouldn't let go of me, so I most likely wouldn't fall or break my other leg. Though I knew it was more than likely if Edward did let go of me.

"Don't look so shy," Edward instructed, smiling in that cocky way. He was torturing me and enjoying every moment of it. "It's prom. It's important. You should be so happy you can't stop smiling. Would it have helped if I picked you up in a limo?"

I glared at him. "No. I would be in a better mood if I'd been a little more prepared," I told him. "You never asked me if I wanted to go."

Edward grinned, tightening his grip on my waist as we walked towards the photographer. "I asked your dad," he explained. "He threatened me a lot in his thoughts. It's rather amusing actually. A cop's thoughts as his baby girl leaves for her first prom," Edward muttered. "But I'm glad you stayed for a few seconds. He finally finished his debate then."

"His debate?" I inquired, looking up at him.

Edward nodded. "He couldn't decide if he should trust me with you or not. After the whole thing with James and the supposed stair incident. He kept assuming I would get you pregnant this time. It wasn't in my plans, but I can appreciate why he would think that with what everyone's been thinking."

I hugged Edward's waist. I knew how much he hated his gift sometimes. He thought it was a curse. He was from a time when boys were taught to respect women. Now respect pretty much didn't exist. I felt sorry that he had to listen to everything. "How does it work exactly? Do you have to specifically listen to one person or what?"

"No, it's like everyone's shouting at me. Except you, of course. So they're all yelling at me and I have to listen to specific pieces of it usually."

"I'm not yelling at you. I wouldn't be anyway."

Edward laughed. "You'd be surprised," he muttered as we reached the photographer. At first, I refused to look or pose or anything. I hated having my picture taken just then. I was with Edward. I was safe with him. I wouldn't fall. My makeup and hair looked perfect. But ending up in the yearbook terrified me. I knew why--because Edward would remain beautiful and young forever while I would wither away into old age. He would never change--at least not physically--and I would look even worse next to him.

"Smile. It's not that hard," Edward instructed, sounding annoyed at the delay. He honestly thought he would be able to get me into a room and dance. Ha!

I looked at him, annoyed, but I managed to smile. It was harder than he thought it was. I wore leggings with lace around the bottom, a gorgeous blue dress, a shrug, and my Converse. I looked good. Even I would admit it, but after I spent so much time with the Cullens, there was no way I would look at myself in the same way. I looked nice. I looked like myself, only more shy. I stood out, but I was afraid it was because I was with Edward. I would never be that beautiful until I was a vampire.

Once inside, I scanned the ground for my friends to see who exactly went with who. Jessica was with Mike. They looked great together! Laughing and dancing like Edward wanted me to. Hell, no! Angela and Eric were dancing and they looked happy together. In love. Lauren and Ben were the same. I turned to Edward then. He looked just about as uncomfortable as I felt. I smiled at him as if I was Alice comforting--and encouraging--Jasper. My hand rested on Edward's chest, he walked me to the side of the dance floor. I grimaced at the thought of me dancing, but Edward made up his mind already.

He put a firm hand on my back for at least three reasons. A first, to make sure he was still holding on to me in order to keep his promise. A second, because he wanted to prevent me from falling. And a third, because it was probably obvious I was ready to run out of the room, even though my cast prevented me from going anywhere quickly.

"So..." Edward said with my favorite crooked grin. He started moving gracefully, leading me clumsily with him.

"Can I cut in?" someone asked. I realized it was Jake and frowned. _If you ruin this, Alice will kill you, _I thought, and I had no doubt that was true. But Edward handed me over to Jake reluctantly. I wondered why he seemed so angry. It wasn't because of the stupid treaty. It was something else for that time anyway.

"So are you crashing prom?" I asked, suddenly terrified because Edward was twenty feet away getting a drink. For me, I assumed.

"No. My dad paid me to come talk to you," Jacob replied, looking embarrassed. "Twenty bucks."

I laughed. "Okay. You look really nice."

"You too. I like the cast too." Jake stopped when he caught my glare. "Dad wants you to break up with your boyfriend. Dating a leech isn't a good idea. You should dump him. But I know by now you're too damn stubborn for that, so we'll be watching. If the treaty is broken, his whole family will pay for it."

I nodded. "We know. And nothing will happen. I trust Edward, okay? But tell Billy thanks. And to pay up," I said because I knew any money would go to finishing his car. I knew how badly he wanted to finish it. Even if it annoyed me that Jacob cut into my dance with Edward, I could be nice. Jacob grinned and handed me back to Edward, glaring furiously at him. I smiled a little. Edward gave me a can of Dr. Pepper with a straw and I laughed at the look on his face. "What?"

"The wolves descend," he muttered. "He made me let go of you."

I laughed. "So I'll hold a grudge against him, not you. And luckily, he didn't let me fall."

Edward nodded. "You wanna get out of here?" he asked, but he didn't need an answer. I took a huge gulp of my soda, then set it down and followed him outside. He stopped under the lights on a tree where we could be alone. He smiled. "What are you thinking?" he asked, lifting me so I was standing on his feet. And he started dancing again. "You're dancing," he said in a musical voice.

"At prom," I added with a shy smile. "I'm thinking about James. If you'd just let the venom spread, I would be like you now. We wouldn't have to be careful. We'd be together forever. Just how we are."

"Timberlee, you don't know anything about newborn vampires or what we deal with. If you changed, you would be out of control. You couldn't see your friends or your family. We would have to lock you up somewhere. We would all have to move and then it would be obvious who you were with to your father. Your eyes would change color. To red first. Not topaz."

"I don't care. You would help me."

"No. I'm not going to end your life. You have too much to live for."

"I want to be like you. I asked Alice and she said she saw me like you, with you forever. So why don't you just change me now?"

"You dream of being a monster?"

"No. I dream of being with you forever."

"Are you ready then right now?" Edward asked me. I could only nod as he dipped me, bending over my tiny frame. He was smiling, but I didn't know why. Before, he had refused. I expected to argue about it until I was old. I knew what I would become--a vampire. I knew how to become one--a single bite. I knew the pain--an excruciating burn that slowly spread through my veins. I knew what I would thirst for--blood. I knew all the pros and cons of it. I knew what they had told me and what I had read. I knew how hard it was for Edward to stop once he tasted my blood, but he did before. I knew I would be awkward and struggle like Jasper. But I didn't care. I had my dream, my wish. I wanted to be sixteen forever and to have Edward by my side every second of forever.

Edward's cold skin touched my neck and my heart accelerated. I wasn't nervous. _I was ready. _I wanted my dream to come true. One hand on my neck, the other on my back, Edward leaned in closer. His breath was on my neck and it was faster than usual--like he was afraid he wouldn't be able to stop this time. I trusted him though.

I closed my eyes, but there was no pain. The touch was so gentle. It tickled a little. He kissed me, then pulled back. He looked me in the eyes with a grin. He thought this was funny. "You didn't really think I would give in that easily, did you?" he asked quietly, sounding so amused at his little joke. It was like he thought I didn't mean it. I did want that. I always would.

I shrugged as we straightened up. "A girl can dream," I said softly.

"And you dream of being a blood thirsty animal?"

I nodded because arguing the animal part wouldn't serve a purpose. "If that's what I have to become to be with you forever, not just for the rest of my life. I'm dying. Right now. Every second, I get closer."

"That's how it's supposed to be." Edward saw how my face fell. I shrunk back into his arms, still holding me close. He smiled, touching my cheek. "Isn't it enough to live a long and happy life with me now?" he asked.

I nodded. "For now," I whispered as we continued to dance, me still standing on his feet.

No one will surrender tonight. But I know what I want. I want to be with Edward forever. And I will fight for it, fight until I win or until I die. I know what I want. And I won't give in.

The End

A/N: I have my own versions of New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, and two additions the series. I will definitely be posting those very soon.


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